Please see our player page for Michael Fulmer to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Steve Cohen carrying a $2.4 billion in a briefcase. All the denominations are million dollar bills that he bought off Etsy for $999,999 apiece, because he gets a billionaire discount. The Wilpons enter the exchange with the glove Jesse Orosco threw into the air at the completion of the 1986 World Series. With this transaction, Cohen will become majority stakeholder in the New York Metropolitans. The exchange begins. Cohen hands the Wilpons the briefcase and the Wilpons hand Cohen Orosco’s glove, which is the deed to the Mets. As they go their separate ways, Cohen puts the glove on and realizes there was something in the webbing. He opens it to a monkey’s paw. This will go beautifully next to his formaldehyde shark, he thinks. Then he sees a little piece of paper in the monkey’s clutches. He unfurls the paper to read, “Enjoy the curse, sucker!”

Welp, if it wasn’t for bad luck, the Mets would have none. The Edwin Diaz injury is just the latest insanely unlucky thing to happen to the Mets. Whomever bargained the Mets’ soul for that ball going under Bill Buckner’s glove needs to make amends to the baseball gods, or wrap Scherzer and Verlander in bubble wrap! So, the top 100 for 2023 fantasy baseball has been updated with news Edwin Diaz will miss the season; the top 500 for fantasy baseball has been updated. Grab the Fantasy Baseball War Room for any weekend drafts too; I’ll be using it for my Sunday Tout Wars draft. Wish me luck, kidding! Don’t need it! David Robertson is clearly Edwin Diaz’s successor, and it seems unlikely Ottavino gets anymore than a handful of saves. Assuming that freakin’ monkey paw doesn’t have a say in this! Anyway, here’s what else I saw in Spring Training for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Somehow, contact injuries are awful and non-contact injuries are even worse. It’s always something like, “Um, is that leg supposed to go in that direction?” It’s like three-quarters of someone’s body is going to get milk from the store and one leg is like, “Hey, I’m going to grab a burger.” Like most of someone’s body is headed to their friend’s house, and one random leg has the address typed into Waze for their friend’s home that they lived at in the 90’s. That happened to Gavin Lux heading to third base the other day. Gavin Lux tore his ACL and is out for the season. The good news is Miguel Vargas only has a fractured finger. I’ll be honest with you, unlike all those times I’ve lied through my teeth, I can’t get super excited for Vargas. I’ve tried. Boy George, have I tried! Now, he absolutely will get everyday at-bats though, so that moves him up in my 1st basemen rankings. Also, the top 500 for 2023 fantasy baseball was updated. Finally, the 2nd basemen rankings, which were depressing as it was, lost Lux and they really sux. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2023 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Here you will find bullpen charts for each team. Bullpens are a messy business to track, but the purpose here is to highlight each team’s closer(s) and setup men. You can more or less expect the chart to read left-to-right in order of importance, but again, it can be a fluid situation day-to-day, week-to-week (looking at you, Tampa Bay Rays!). So, not only are we highlighting saves options, we’ve got you saves+holds folks covered, too! 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s poppin, Razzpimples? Thought I’d throw together a quick little ditty on how the past couple days of trade action have affected bullpens across the league, and then how that impacts your fantasy lineups. Won’t be deep-diving or anything, just a gut-check response to the craziness. Don’t forget, the Razzball Bullpen Chart is manned by yours […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Engine revs. It’s the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. Only instead of a Oscar Mayer hat on its front hood, it’s wearing a Padres cap. It’s staring down a lonely country road. Directly, a mile down, aimed right at it is the Dodgers’ team bus. The Dodgers’ team bus revs.

A half mile in front of each of them, at the midpoint is “1st place in the NL West.” What we have here is a game a chicken. Who will get there first? Behind the Dodgers’ team bus wheel is Magic Johnson. Behind the Padres’ pimped-out Weinermobile is the San Diego Chicken. “You’re going mano a chicken? With the Chicken?! This is not a game you want to play, Magic?” That’s the actor who played Magic in the Showtime series on HBO shouting at Magic. “A Showtime series on HBO? Are you talking riddles, Albright?!” That’s the voice inside my head. Back to the white hot asphalt! The San Diego Chicken guns it towards the Dodgers’ team bus! Magic slams down the gas!

Careening down the road, the Chicken bawks, “They need to lose some extra weight!” To get up to speed, the Padres throw out MacKenzie Gore, C.J. Abrams, Robert Hassell III, James Wood and Jarlin Susana. For Magic to get the Dodgers to increase speed, he throws out an anecdote about him hugging Isiah Thomas at half court. “You need more speed, Magic!” The actor who played Magic in the Showtime HBO series screams. Magic says, “Have you heard about the one of me and Clyde the Glide?” It’s not enough! The San Diego Chicken is the type that drives right towards a big trade and waits for the other team to swerve. It ain’t afraid — it accepts that Gore is sometimes necessary.

So, Juan Soto goes to the Padres. They have Manny Machado, Fernando Tatis Jr. and Sexy Dr. Pepper? Um…

Seriously…

Like seriously seriously…

Fun the Jewels, Macho Manny and Sexy Dr. Pepper. Guys and five lady readers, I am doing a horny. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s poppin, Razzpimples? Bullpen update time! Don’t forget, the Razzball Bullpen Chart is manned by yours truly and updated like every single second (not really, but I stay on top of thangs for the most part). And directly below are your Top 10 most valuable RP over the last week, courtesy of our super cool and filterable Last […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Luis Garcia went 5 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.94. Officially, Luis Garcia #1 is outpacing Luis Garcia #2 and Luis Garcia #3 by a lot. Step up your game, Luis Garcias! If I had a couple billion dollars, I’d buy a MLB team and fill the whole team with Luis Garcias. A Luis Garcia at each position. “Luis winds up and–a hot smash to third! Luis Garcia snags it, and goes to Luis Garcia at 2nd and onto Luis Garcia at first. Double play complete!” Name that team the Garcias and get LG to sponsor us. Prolly shouldn’t be putting this out there because Elon Musk is going to steal this idea.

“No more Tesla for you, Mr. Musk?”
“Sadly, this is my last day. On the bright side, I’ve got an idea to start a Luis Garcia-filled baseball team.”

Sigh, until I have that money in hand, I’m gonna have to look at Luis Garcia for fantasy baseball. This Luis Garcia’s peripherals are 9.9 K/9,2.4 BB/9, 3.55 xFIP, and his fastball velocity is up. Last time I looked at him, his stats weren’t as good, but they’ve clearly bounced back recently. His career ERA is 3.44 in 196 1/3 IP with a 9.4 K/9. Only time that’s putting me to sleep is during his rock-a-bye pitching windup. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?