(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)
*nudges the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, and it doesn’t move* “Oh my God, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell is dead!”
“I’m not dead, you idiot. I’m hungover. Could you please stop screaming?”
“Woo hoo! The Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell is alive!”
So, welcome back to another Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, or as I like to call it, “Pick up this player in your league if he’s available because he’s rostered in less than 50% of leagues, but only if you’re carrying a player who is worse than him” and “Trade away this player who is rostered in more than 50% of leagues, but only if you’re getting a fair price.” You can see why I went with Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell instead.
Our first fantasy baseball lede buy is coming to you straight from a little area of my brain labeled, “Only Think About Wonderful In This Area.” What, you don’t label parts of your brain? Oh, too bad. I took a seminar on memory at a Ramada Inn in Parsippany, New Jersey, where I learned this. That and don’t bite into a donut and put it back on the tray. Those are the only two things I remember from that seminar. So, now it’s time to get down to business…Crap, are you thirsty? I feel so parched. Like I just traveled through the desert on camel while smoking a pack of Camels. Just let me get a drink and then we will start up. Inserts seven quarters into a soda machine, while deciding between Jimmy Sprite and this other guy. Finally, I select Oscar Colas. Then, I listen for the clink of the can down the chute, then remove Colas from the slot. Feeling the heft in my hand and I crack him open to the wonderfully pleasant sound of ahhhhh. Sips a little at first, as I go over his minor league numbers: 14 homers in Double-A; two homers in Triple-A in only seven games with a steal; hit .306 in Double-A and .387 in that week in AAA; reads what Itch has to say, “He hit 23 home runs in 127 games across three levels last year, batting above .300 at every stop. Chicago has been tough on hitters the past few seasons, but Colas has enough thump to threaten 20-plus bombs if he gets the gig early, and I’d like to thump Grey with my fist.” Wow, what a soda machine this is! Oscar Colas got the job, and I’m all-in on him until we see him actually struggle somewhere, because we have not seen that once. I need Colas everywhere and so should you. Stay thirsty, my friends, and remember, Andrew Benintendi is the un-Colas. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Logan O’Hoppe – Going to start calling him Shirley Temple, because I imagine if you went into a bar in Dublin and ordered a Logan O’Hoppe, a fine non-alcoholic lager, you’d be served a Shirley Temple, as if that’s what you ordered. Catcher is a prime place to take an upside flyer, and, for some reason, O’Hoppe is being drafted like he has no pedigree, when he’s the reason why the Angels traded away Brandon Marsh. If you put aside the Angels are dumb and got robbed in the Marsh deal, you should be able to determine pretty quickly the Angels want to play O’Hoppe.
Blake Sabol – Giants want to play Sabol in the outfield. That should tell you he’s going to be worth way more than his current free price. Any catcher who gets at-bats at any position other than catcher is more valuable than 75% of catchers.
Miguel Vargas – I’m prolly the low-man on Vargas vs. a lot of people. He screams to me a corner man’s Gavin Lux. Think meh homers, .270, no real speed. Then throw in the rookie learning curve, and I haven’t taken the plunge on Vargas, but this post is about just picking guys up off waivers, and I’d do that with him, i.e., free’s good.
Darick Hall – After Hoskins went down, Darick Hall’s hits, Darick Hall’s hits are on my waiver wire list.
Wil Myers – May I Steer you to Spencer’s blurb? *pinkie to mouth* Okay, enough being coy, go read Spencer Steer’s blurb below.
Spencer Torkelson – Fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!) love to get insanely hyped on a prospect, then completely ignore him the following year if he fails. That is what’s happening with Torkelson, and it’s a Rerun.
Michael Massey – NFBC Hall of Famer, Shawn Childs, started telling me about Massey roughly six weeks ago, and it took nearly six weeks longer for it to sink in, but I’m happy to announce I’m on board now, and grabbing Massey in all leagues.
Luis Rengifo – We have ourselves a little two-person run of players who were hitting well in Spring Training. As I always say, Spring Training stats mean nothing, and they do. I’m not going to do a 180 on that. It also costs nothing to pick up a free guy off waivers. I don’t know Rengifo’s playing time, but worth the risk.
Thairo Estrada – Yup: Thairo Estrada sleeper. This is one of those that is a complete no-brainer — my specialty! There’s no way Thairo Estrada won’t be worth rostering in all leagues, unless he gets hurt.
Brendan Donovan – For those of you thinking I’m overrating Donovan’s spring training, I liked him way back in December when I first started going over players, and nearly wrote a sleeper for him. He actually makes the most sense as the leadoff hitter in Saint Louie, and, after seeing Edman bat 9th in the 2nd half last year, I convinced myself Donovan was going to get at least 300 ABs at leadoff this year.
Jordan Walker – Just gave you my Jordan Walker fantasy. It was a gorgeous piece of drooliterature.
Ezequiel Tovar – Another guy who got a November write-up: Ezequiel Tovar fantasy, and nothing’s really changed there. I might be too harsh on his playing time, but underestimating Bud Black’s intelligence never hurt anyone.
CJ Abrams – Gave you a CJ Abrams sleeper, and here’s the thing with sleepers. I wrote them in November, and I either get way more excited about a player or chill. Ladies love Cool James Abrams but sadly I’ve chilled on him too. Yet — again with some stank — YET! I would still grab him for his insane speed.
Anthony Volpe – Here’s what I said the other day, “Made the team, and I have to admit this is a shocking one for me. Clarify, November thru February Grey is shocked. March Grey started to see the writing on the wall. Here’s what I said in my Anthony Volpe fantasy last year, “So, this is a tough one to write, that is even harder as I do this in November, when nothing’s been finalized about next year’s rosters. Anthony Volpe could break camp with the Yankees or he could be called up late in the year like the Oswald/o’s. Yankees desperately need to look back at what they did in the mid-90s, and turn the page on signing all these vets, who kinda suck. Israel Diner-Falafel was a terrible signing at the time and it never got better, but this is what the Yankees have done for almost 25 years now. There’s someone reading this who wasn’t even alive for when the Yankees used to promote prospects. Me, being 17 years old, I don’t know any of this. I blew dust off Wikipedia to read about it. That’s right, I started Razzball when I was 5 years old. I was the Doogie Howser of fantasy baseball ‘perts. I don’t even get the Doogie Howser reference that I just made. I’m too young. Was he related to Dick Howser? Dot dot dot. Who I also don’t know — again –> too young.” And that’s me quoting me! Volpe has power and speed, and absolutely should be rostered. Honestly, I’m a tad less excited for Volpe than I am for Walker, and my new top 500 for 2023 fantasy baseball shows that. My shortstops rankings are updated too.” And that’s me quoting November and March me!
Spencer Steer – Someone from that disaster that they call the Reds is going to come out of nowhere and hit 27+ homers, then get traded for a middle reliever, and I’d put money on it being Wil Myers, but Steer’s there too.
Riley Greene – Here’s a guy who I was all out on back in December when I wrote up my rankings, but the calendar changed and so did my feelings on Riley. Ooh, Grey’s all in his feelings! Shut up, Random Italicized Voice. Ooh, Grey’s woke! Greene was hitting well in the spring, and there was a narrative that he was hurt last year, and for the price of picking up a guy off waivers, I’m willing to bite on the narrative.
Trevor Larnach – The Larnach Monster Energy Drink. It’s like Colas with my pop!
James Outman – Yesterday, Outman took one out, man. Tomorrow, he might sit. I think he’s in a platoon, but Outman could emerge from it.
Jarred Kelenic – I did a cost analysis of picking up Jarred Kelenic for free and how he could become a top 20 outfielder and my analysis says: He’s free, what do you have to lose? Might’ve forgot to carry a one somewhere there.
Jared Shuster – As I was weaning you off of preseason, I added Shuster to the top 100 starters and top 500. And, as we know, one who weans is a weiner. Dylan Dodd might be the call here, as well.
Clarke Schmidt – This one feels more like a Streamonator call in most leagues, once we know his matchups, but the upside is there, and who knows when Rodon returns, and who gets booted from the Yankees’ rotation, when that happens. My guess is Schmidt the first one out, because he’s more valuable to the Yankees as a long-man, but someone might get hurt in the rotation before that, i.e., Schmidt happens.
Kutter Crawford – This is a Streamonator call. Like the call it makes to Pep Boys to see if it can get lubed by a female mechanic.
David Peterson – Take nothing else from this post, but my undying love for A Man Da. Peterson. (RIP to my Can’t Buy Me Love angel.) Also, Tylor Megill is worth a shot. “Let’s go, Megill!” said like a character in Better Call Saul.
Hunter Brown – Gave you a Hunter Brown fantasy way back when, and Kirksey gave you a Hunter Brown fantasy just a few weeks ago, and *an emoji shrugs to its wife while she waits in the car as he stands in line at In ‘n Out while secretly sneaking fries out of a bag*
Kyle Bradish – There’s a chance Bradish is as good as we thought we were going to get from Grayson Rodriguez. Obviously, not as sexy, and GRod sounds cool, and KBrad sounds like a teenager rolling their eyes.
Trevor Rogers – As many of you know, I’m on TV weekly with Craig Mish, the Marlins beat writer. Actually had friends who said they saw me randomly in a bar in Kansas. Well, autographs aside, Mish told me he’s been impressed by Rogers early on. He doesn’t say that about all Marlins.
A.J. Minter – With Raisel out, Minter is just like printing money! Bam! High five me! No? You’re right.
Dany Jimenez – Could be the A’s closer. Could be May. Could be May before we know.
Dinelson Lamet – As I said the other day in my Tout Wars recap, I grabbed Lamet to back up Bard, because I’m a freakin’ genius. Now let’s hope Bud Black is a genius and goes with Lamet. Crap, there’s no way Black is a genius. This could also be “Prince Albert” Pierce Johnson’s job. Speaking of a Pierce Johnson job, this could be Hand’s work too.
Michael Fulmer – Cubs have said they will go with Fulmer or Brad Boxberger. They’re actually both reasonable solutions, as well as Brandon Hughes. Maybe they Frankenclose with Hug-Box-Ful. Hmm, that sounds like a sex doll.
David Robertson – You might Edwin some, but the Mets Edlose Diaz, and KRob doesn’t look in the mirror and just see a Reagan Supreme Court nominee, he sees a potential top 10 closer this year.
Alex Lange – Easily the best value for saves that is on the board. Not only is he good, but who else would the Tigers turn to if he struggles? Jason Foley? You don’t even know if I made up that name.
Evan Phillips – Here’s all the guys who could be the closer for the Dodgers this year: Phillips; Brusdar Graterol; Daniel Hudson; Alex Vesia; the Ghost of Larry King; a Dodgers fan who wins a battle royal with Giants fans, and someone who used to be on The Hills. Oh, and that’s not in any order!
Ozzie Albies – So, sometime around the moment I was writing my Michael Harris II overrated post, I got to thinking, “Grey, you’re a handsome devil, and smart, no doubt, but I wanna recap something to you that you’re thinking,” and I paused and thought, “I was thinking about thinking?” Then, I continued, “Yes, and don’t interrupt again. So, here’s what I’m thinking you’re thinking, but not verbally explaining to the masses. Okay, again, I know what you’re thinking and ‘by masses’ I don’t mean you should go to church and read your terrible sleeper posts from past years to the priest in confession, I mean you’re not explicitly saying something that is clear to anyone paying attention. You don’t like MH2, you don’t like Tildaddy (at his price, at least), and you don’t like Albies. Are you, a Braves hater?” So, this is slightly bizarre, because I like the Braves a lot. I love how they promote players, and I’m in love with Strider, Morton, Olson and was on Grissom (that hurt), but a couple of their big names do have me concerned. Sometime around beginning of March, Albies announced he had offseason shoulder surgery and he was so terrible last year, even when on the field. Well, I’m worried. I wouldn’t trade Albies for a 7-foot tall Marshmallow Peep wearing a Shaq jersey, but I would go to our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options.