“You’re going to be hearing a lot about Ezequiel Tovar this offseason, so why not get started now? *phone rings* One second, sorry. “Hello? Yes, this is Grey. Yes, Grey Albright. Yes, the one with the luscious mustache and full head of hair! Yes, the only person who is five-seven but looks at least six-one! Yes, you’re talking to him! This is Future Me? Grey? I thought your voice sounded familiar. What’s up, Future Me, if I may call you that…Call you Mr. Albright? Uh, okay. What’s up, Mr. Albright? Ezequiel Tovar is hitting .350 with power and speed next year? That’s awesome! What do you mean it’s not awesome? Why? Because Bud Black’s playing the 32-year-old Scott Schebler at shortstop? Is Scott Schebler hitting well? Should I pick him up in eight months as a hot schmotato? Hello…Hello…?” I think he hung up.” And that’s me quoting Future Me! That was from when Ezequiel Tovar got called up at the end of the year. Ya know what’s a little crazy? Your aunt? Yes, but I’m talking about how it’s a little crazy how Rockies writers, who seemingly know the club better than anyone else, never talk about how awful Bud Black is. Likely because Bud is where the bread is buttered for scoops — Bud buttered? Hmm, I wish I didn’t think that. I also think most Rockies fans like Bud. *shrugs* Well, there’s no accounting for good taste or sense. Am I still very worried Bud Black will inexplicably find someone random to play shortstop instead of Tovar? If you don’t learn from the past Future Me, you will only repeat Future Me’s past mistakes. So, what can we expect from Ezequiel Tovar for 2023 fantasy baseball?

Some Ezequiel Tovar highlights:

That’s a 103.7 MPH, 25 degree Launch Angle, 405 foot shot, and a home run in every park. A no doubter. It doesn’t appear it to me, but that’s what the stats are telling me. Any hoo, here’s a different, and sorta useless angle, but I thought it was interesting to see how easy his stroke is:

Doesn’t look like Ezequiel Tovar’s going to struggle for power, especially not in Coors, even though I’m seeing some prospectors give him a 35 grade in game power. A 35 is egregiously bad. I don’t think he’s going to be that bad. Ezequiel Tovar might only be a three-homer per month type, but that’s nearly 20 homers on the year. That’s not bad. Of course, I’m burying the lede. He should be an easy 15-20 steals guy. 20/20? Yeah, and I’m not talking like an optometrist. People that know a thing or two about prospects say Tovar is a 50-grade speed guy. Speaking of optometrists, it’s a little cockeyed to throw out what others say on a guy’s power but take as gospel what they’re saying on his speed. My point is more that clearly Tovar has more speed than power, and we showed he’s got some power.

Lastly, Ezequiel Tovar’s best trait might be his bat-to-ball skills. Not to intentionally spread nonsense, but, ya know what, I’m going to. Someone compared Tovar’s bat-to-ball skills with Derek Jeter. Now, not saying he’s going to hit .300 over 20 years, but it does say something that he’s even being mentioned with one of the best bat-to-ball guys ever. Wonder what Ezequiel Tovar’s gift baskets are like. To throw out a lot of what I’ve said, this isn’t the first time people will have overestimated Rockies’ prospects. *cough* Garret Hampson *cough* *sneeze* Sam Hilliard *sneeze* Hmm, now I just think there’s pollen in the room.

So, if Ezequiel Tovar is Jeter with a better glove, but less hit tool or if he’s just a 20/20/.280 possibility, it all works for our purposes. Or porpoises, if dolphins have taken over by the time you read this. The number one thing goes back to: Does Bud Black actually play him for 550 ABs? I’d love to think so, but I’m not Roger Daltrey, and I won’t be fooled again. For 2023, I’ll give Ezequiel Tovar projections of 51/11/41/.264/14 in 402 ABs with a chance for more.

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Harley Earl
Harley Earl
2 months ago

I dodge Rockies like Billy Clinton dodges drafts

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDfAdHBtK_Q

Jimmy
Jimmy
2 months ago

Tovar or Masyn Winn…the highlight of the off season is your stuff! Soothes the baseball withdrawal!

galica1234
galica1234
2 months ago

Grey!!!

Awesome!!!

a. Have ‘Zeke in a dynasty. The Commish has asked if we want to

1 Reset and redraft
2 Add 5 roster spots but keep the rest

I’m for a.1. You? Two managers have already fled the league, looks like dissolution to me.

b. George Carlin quote of the day for November 8, 2022

Playboy: When you weren’t getting your show-business career off the ground, what were your military duties?

Carlin: I was a radar, optics and computer mechanic on B-47s at a SAC base.

Playboy: Interesting job for a future counterculture hero.

Carlin: Yes, wasn’t it? There I was, impeding the war machine just by showing up for work.

Playboy: You said earlier that you smoked grass virtually every day of your life for 30 years. Even in the Air Force?

Carlin: Sure. A friend used to mail it to me from New York—all cleaned and everything. I smoked right on the base all the time. People weren’t familiar with the smell then. They thought it was some kind of cigar.

Playboy: Tell us about your court-martials.

Carlin: The first one came the day after the Dodgers won the world series in 1955. Our SAC unit was in England on a TDY, a sort of mobility drill that’s supposed to be fairly serious business. But when Johnny Podres beat the Yankees in that seventh game, I went sailing into this little town off base, got drunk on cooking wine, then went back to the barracks with the intention of celebrating for the rest of the evening. When my tech sergeant expressed his displeasure at my actions—not to mention my noise level—I replied in a manner that he didn’t consider in strict accordance with military protocol. I told him to go fuck himself. And to be honest, I don’t think my salute was entirely up to standards, either. I didn’t do any time for that one, but I did lose a stripe.

Playboy: And your second court-martial?

Carlin: That was more serious. We were having a simulated combat drill. The whole base was on alert and everybody pulled guard duty. So I was out there one night, and it was cold, you know. And I was tired. So I left my gun on the ground and went up into the crawlway of a B-47, smoked a joint and went to sleep. Fortunately, it was Christmas and I had a really benevolent judge, who said, “I should send you to jail for this, but I don’t think any 18-year-old should spend the holidays in prison.” So he let me off.

Playboy Interview, 1982

Cheers,
Ante

Ante Galic
Ante Galic
Reply to  Grey
2 months ago

Grey!!

So benevolent. We should call Aaron, The Benevolent though he’s not very to opposing pitchers so not a good name for him. Lol.

Thanks, A.1. I’ll put some in my carry-on luggage (A1 steak sauce, dur!).

Cheers,
Ante

Jose Hernandez
Jose Hernandez
2 months ago

Grey, Can you give me small outlook on 2B Jazz Chisholm? I have high hope for him. What kind of numbers do you expect in 2023? Please add OBP to his projections. Thanks, Jose

Jose Hernandez
Jose Hernandez
Reply to  Grey
2 months ago

I would like to see him get closer to .340. I want to hit him 3rd in my Scoresheet team, behind Correa and Goldy and in front of Manny.
What do you think?