Friends, the Queen of England died this week. However, that news overshadowed the news about Keibert Ruiz’s balls. It may come as a surprise to at least some of you that I am not a cisgender man. Thus, I have never experienced being hit in the testicles. However, when I read that Keibert Ruiz took […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Kutter Crawford to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Triston “Dr. Sticks” McKenzie is so skinny, he hula hoops with a Cheerio. McKenzie is so skinny he uses floss as toilet paper. I have a dad bod but want to identify as skinny–am I trans-slender? Triston McKenzie may get his nickname from his lack of girth, but last night McKenzie left no meat on the bone for the White Sox, as he fired 7 innings of two-ER ball while striking out a career-high 14 batters, lowering his ERA to 3.11 in the process. This wasn’t just a good game for McKenzie; it’s the continuation of at least the last month, as he’s got a 2.95 ERA over his last 33 IP, with a 28/8 K/BB. Pay no attention to the xERA of 4.04 and xFIP of 4.08, or the K% that’s has dropped 2 Ks per 9 IP from 2021, and enjoy the fantasy goodness Dr. Sticks is currently giving fantasy owners as the Guardians chase the AL Central division title. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The “how can you not be romantic about baseball” line gets tossed around a lot these days. However, it only takes a few moments to reflect on this season to know it’s been a treat. The Orioles would be in the playoff if the season ended today. Juan Soto got dealt to the Padres, just […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
This Jacob deGrom (5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 2 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.53) is among the best pitchers ever. I don’t know what’s changed for him in recent years, but he’s gone from one of the best pitchers in the league to one of the best pitchers ever. He’s Walter Johnson in color. He’s Bob Feller on the back of a motorcycle doing 101 MPH, holding out a four-seamer. He’s “Aw Shucks” Bob Gibson. The last time Jacob deGrom carried a perfect game into the 6th, it was broken up by Clint Barmes, who was an all-world sleeper who could hit anyone. Yesterday, the Braves were deer meat without a Clint Barmes to turn to. DeGrom now has the most strikeouts in his first 200th career games (1,523). The problem, of course, deGrom looks gassed at 70 pitches. He is the Icarus of pitching. One of the best ever for just a moment in time. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Engine revs. It’s the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. Only instead of a Oscar Mayer hat on its front hood, it’s wearing a Padres cap. It’s staring down a lonely country road. Directly, a mile down, aimed right at it is the Dodgers’ team bus. The Dodgers’ team bus revs.
A half mile in front of each of them, at the midpoint is “1st place in the NL West.” What we have here is a game a chicken. Who will get there first? Behind the Dodgers’ team bus wheel is Magic Johnson. Behind the Padres’ pimped-out Weinermobile is the San Diego Chicken. “You’re going mano a chicken? With the Chicken?! This is not a game you want to play, Magic?” That’s the actor who played Magic in the Showtime series on HBO shouting at Magic. “A Showtime series on HBO? Are you talking riddles, Albright?!” That’s the voice inside my head. Back to the white hot asphalt! The San Diego Chicken guns it towards the Dodgers’ team bus! Magic slams down the gas!
Careening down the road, the Chicken bawks, “They need to lose some extra weight!” To get up to speed, the Padres throw out MacKenzie Gore, C.J. Abrams, Robert Hassell III, James Wood and Jarlin Susana. For Magic to get the Dodgers to increase speed, he throws out an anecdote about him hugging Isiah Thomas at half court. “You need more speed, Magic!” The actor who played Magic in the Showtime HBO series screams. Magic says, “Have you heard about the one of me and Clyde the Glide?” It’s not enough! The San Diego Chicken is the type that drives right towards a big trade and waits for the other team to swerve. It ain’t afraid — it accepts that Gore is sometimes necessary.
So, Juan Soto goes to the Padres. They have Manny Machado, Fernando Tatis Jr. and Sexy Dr. Pepper? Um…
Juan Soto, Fernando Tatis Jr., Manny Machado, all in these jerseys pic.twitter.com/gR4OYgreTr
— Razzball (@Razzball) August 2, 2022
— Razzball (@Razzball) August 2, 2022
Like seriously seriously…
— Razzball (@Razzball) August 2, 2022
Fun the Jewels, Macho Manny and Sexy Dr. Pepper. Guys and five lady readers, I am doing a horny. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
To open the game, Brady Singer should’ve immediately beaned Andrew Benintendi, then took the mic to the stadium PA, hushed the crowd, and began to say the speech when Ronald Miller is confronted for abandoning his dork friends. “These guys…these Yankees…they weren’t there with you when you were perceived to be too expensive at a cost of $8.5 million arbitration by a billionaire? Were they there when the Royals made us go greet people at Wal-Mart to earn our meal money? Were they there when we all had to chip in for plane fuel to travel to out-of-town games? I don’t think so!” Would’ve been a helluva a speech, but he might’ve gotten tossed and we would’ve missed a helluva a game. A sonavabench of a game, prolly too. But Singer’s having his Star Mitzvah, and I’m here for it. L’claim! Yesterday’s start for Brady Singer went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.51. His season perfs are at 9.7 K/9, 2.2 BB/9, 3.23 xFIP and a slider that I watched Yankees swing at — lefties, at least — that nearly hit them in the back foot. If this sounds like the beginning of a 2023 sleeper, you’re prolly right. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hi, it’s Thursday, July 28th, 2022, and we are back with another DFS article. Today’s main slate on FanDuel is eight games and starts at 7:05 pm Eastern. This slate features several good pitchers on the mound like Shohei Ohtani and Zack Wheeler. It also features some of the worst pitchers in the league with […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Deejay, “Hey, welcome back to Bleday! We are your nonstop rap, hip-hop, trip-hop, bounce, cloud rap, road rap, Christmas rap, Hanukkah rap, Jerkin’, freestyle, trap, but no Jazz rap, he’s out with a stress fracture in his back. Now, let’s boogie for the 2nd half of the season!” Wait, that was me at the end. Was it clearly not me prior to that? Yes? Okay, great. So, JJ Bleday (2-for-4, 1 run and his 1st steal) was called up by the Marlins. Fun fact! Bleday is the rap station in Los Angeles. A less fun fact is Bleday was hitting .228 in Triple-A. He hits everything in the air, which isn’t bad for a power hitter, but it will mean not a lot on average, and, while he stole on Sunday, he doesn’t have a lot of speed either. Think a young Rhys Hoskins. Call him Mees Hoskids, because the JJ stands for Jar Jar. Bleday should see playing time, along with Bryan De La Cruz (2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer), because Jorge Soler hit the IL, i.e., Bryan De La Soler is plug one. Bleday, plug two. De La Soler, plug one. Bleday, plug two. Anyway. here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’re just coming out of the All Star Break, and it’s a tricky time in deeper leagues that use a FAAB budget, especially NL or AL-only leagues where crossover players may be involved over the next couple of weeks. In my leagues at least, there’s not much available on waivers this weekend, so I’m hesitant […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Max Meyer is being called up. *does a highly-choreographed handshake with self that ends with me miming putting food in my mouth* We eating tonight! Three of the last four on Itch’s prospect stash list was Esteury Ruiz, Vinnie Pasquantino and Max Meyer. With Meyer’s promotion, they’ll all be up. Where you at, Miguel Vargas?! I already gave you a Max Meyer fantasy when it appeared like he’d be called up in May. Then he was sidetracked with an injury, but he’s healthy now and, like I said, we’re eating! Will he stay up if Edward Cabrera or Luzardo get healthy? If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d be diabetic squirrels. Meyer might be good for another 50-60 IP, which is nearly a full 2nd half, I grabbed him in my 15-team mixed league immediately, then hemmed-and-hawed for fifteen minutes, and finally grabbed him in my 12-team mixed RCL, too, but we’ll see if I hold him there. Pitchers are pretty plentiful to be holding a possible roofie. He could be the best starter call-up we see this year. *mimes filling a dog bowl, puts it by feet, gets on knees and sticks face in bowl* We eating! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
This weekend Wander Franco hit the IL, and will see a doctor on Monday for his wrist and hamate bone and I want to die. Put me in a grave, shovel dirt on my head, and say your farewells. To be less histrionic and more just that down-home Grey that you’ve come to know and love, I want my woobie! Here’s Kenneth Cashman, the man behind Rotowear, mocking me:
— Kenneth Cashman (@kenneth_cashman) July 10, 2022
Okay, Wander Franco was barely a top 250th overall player this year on the Player Rater, so, while I expected more, if you’ve survived this long with (aka without) him, you’ll be fine moving forward. I have faith in youse, my large adult sons, and five adult daughters. Taking his place will be Jonathan Aranda, who was recalled. I will say this about Rays prospects, they roll right off the fingertips. Aranadaadadadadadadada, McClanahananananananananananan…Though Lowe’s a hard stop. Aranada was tearing up Triple-A. Hey, kinda like Brujan! And Josh Lowe! And literally every Rays prospect who comes up and fizzles. Aranda is a decent power guy with a solid hit tool. Think a young France. Call him Tintin. In most leagues, you can prolly find better guys on waivers. Now, get lost while I try to cure my Wander lust. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, was not just our Independence Day. Yesterday, was the halfway point of the baseball season. So, Halfway to Independence from Jonathan India Day. You cannot tell me our forefathers just happened to put the Fourth of July on the exact midpoint of the baseball season by accident. They didn’t put hairspray on their platinum silver wigs like they were Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada and just happen to drop the doozy of the Declaration of Independence on baseball’s 81st game played just as a little oopsie-daisy on their Yankee Doodle like how your daddy did your mommy. No way! This is why baseball is the National Pastime. So, Happy 4th of July to even all you cowards who drafted starters early. Speaking of starters, Brayan Bello will start for the Red Sox this Wednesday. Bello will pitch for a scream. Take it Highlights, it’s yours! Bello was in the Itch’s top 50 starting pitcher prospects, saying, “Bello added strength and velocity over the lost minor league season and now features a mid-90s fastball with a little extra dotting the gun once in a while. He was successful enough before, as we’ve detailed in these pages, but now he’s striking out 36.9 percent of hitters in High-A and 31.1 percent in AA—a big jump from the 22.6 percent he posted in 2019. His fastball gets a bit too much for him to be a no-doubt starter unless he finds a nasty breaking ball to go along with his plus changeup. Would love to see him take that fastball and hit Grey.” Not cool, man! In a 15-team, mixed league, I grabbed him and I felt unhinged even as I was doing it, but I need something to Bello about. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?