Time Off For Addictive Behavior

Holding hands to eyes, sun blinds me, I turn back and call into the house, “Ma, how long is this break without baseball? Ma?” I realize now that I’m not emerging from my mom’s house. I’m emerging from a bunker. I had been in there longer than I imagined. I pick up a newspaper to see the date, “It’s 2026!” I scream, then I see even more distressing news, “This isn’t a newspaper. Someone’s printed out my fantasy team on a piece of paper! And I have Vladimir Guerrero Jr. on my fantasy team!” I scream further and walk back into my bunker. “So long, suckers!” Welcome to the unofficial end of the 1st half. I say unofficial because I’m not an official. I’m wearing stripes, because I’m in a prison camp, and standing against a wall to protect my juicy ass. One guy who is almost as juicy is Zack Wheeler (6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.13) with his third consecutive start with 10+ Ks, and he will undoubtedly be in the top 100 for the 2nd half coming tomorrow (out now on Patreon). Only question is how high will he be? Higher than me in high school? Methinks. You prolly heard he refused an invite to the All-Star Game because he was snubbed at first, and I say good for him. You should want all your players with the petty grievances that drive us all. Find someone who pisses you off and allow them to drive you to your greatest heights. Thomas Alva Edison was like, “I don’t give two effs about electricity if it wasn’t for that scumbag Tesla.” Let Wheeler be powered by it, too, as long as that chip on his shoulder doesn’t alter his mechanics. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

PSYCHE! Hey, so I don’t know how many of youse find yourself wanting to search a player on Razzball and you only get the last three on the player page — click Aaron Judge to see — well, I do. So, I built an app to search players (it also searches any word, so if you want to see how many times I go to the “And that’s me quoting me,” you can search that too. (For unstints, I used this search to look up “capsule” to see prior players with Nick Kurtz’s injury.) The app is free. It’s MacOS desktop only. Here’s the Razzball search app. (You’ll be prompted to download Glaze, which you need to do — that’s free too. I’m not selling anything here, do not purchase anything. It’s merely to help me search the site because Google sucks now, so I know what I’ve said on a player previously, and I thought maybe some of you might want it too.) Anyway II, the roundup:

Tarik Skubal – 5 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.09. Skubal clearly doesn’t have enough grievances. There was such an obvious one too: MLB touting Misiorowski vs. Skenes as the biggest matchup of the last Sunday when Wheeler vs. Skubal was right there. Then Mis backed out of his start, and still no one was like, “Wheeler vs. Skubal’s pretty good too…Right? Anyone? Okay.”

Kyle Harrison – Hit the IL with forearm tightness. Roy Scheider doing jazz hands, “Bye bye, happiness! Hello, loneliness! I think I’m gonna die!”

Jacob Misiorowski – Didn’t bounce back from his last start so he was skipped on Sunday and I shouldn’t even dignify this by typing it out. Of course this was just to give him some extra rest. I’m not concerned. If he’s skipped again after the break or looks bad, then I’ll worry.

Brandon Sproat – 3 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 5.16. “Hey, I thought I was the most consistently inconsistent starter.” That’s Jack Flaherty reading my mind about my thoughts on Sproat.

Robert Gasser – 3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 5.24. On Saturday, putting in a FAAB bid for Gasser…On Sunday, removing said bid.

Shane Drohan – 6 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.09. Talk to the Drohan, the stats don’t care! You know how stubborn Sproat and Gasser must be to not listen to whoever in the hell is telling Drohan how to pitch well?

Brice Turang – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer, and 2nd homer in four games. Bricet Urang for steals and getting power.

Braxton Ashcraft – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.49. Find myself thinking, and I doubt I’m the only one, but when a guy doesn’t have a long track record, I always worry after every bad start that this is the end — well, if there’s many bad starts, then it prolly is the end — but Ashcraft’s underlying numbers look fantastic still.

Bubba Chandler – 4 2/3 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 4.77. Crazy thing (is this crazy — you be the judge!), he’s teetering on unusable in any format, but I could see him being an ace as soon as next year.

Paul Skenes – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.57. If you can buy Skenes low, even if “low” means a top 30 player vs. a top 15 player, I wouldn’t be opposed to it.

Nick Kurtz – Hit the IL with right thumb capsule sprain. Roy Scheider being zipped up in a body bag, last gasps, “Bye bye, happiness! Hello, loneliness! I think I’m gonna die!”

Gage Jump – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.51. Streamonator liked this start, and his next one, but I’m at the Road Scholar stage of my Jump involvement, and his next start is in Bing Bong.

J.T. Ginn – 4 1/3 IP, 8 ER, ERA at 3.67. Ginn dummy!

Sam Antonacci – 1-for-4 and his 6th homer, hitting .287. Samwell hits good, uh, well.

Braden Montgomery – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 3rd homer. More like Monthomery! High five me right now! No? Okay.

Joe Ryan – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.85. It felt like a lot of top 20 starters went into the break thinking, “I finished pitching in June, I do doody now,” so it’s nice to see Ryan at least be somewhat decent vs. the Angels.

Taj Bradley – 7 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.59. Taj Mah-number two.

Jose Soriano – 5 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 0 Ks, ERA at 3.49. Zero Ks is shorthand for, “I just want my peripherals to look worse.”

Freddy Peralta – 4 1/3 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 4.66. Just thought about how FreddyKBB was solid early on in the season, then became untenable and stodgy, as Paul Hollywood would say. You know what happened? He broke bad a little bit and, last year the Brewers could’ve helped him, but there’s no one on the Mets to fix him.

Zach Thornton – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.60 (in only 17 1/3 IP). Mets starting random minor leaguers who had a 4+ ERA says a lot about the Mets and Mets are also saying Thornton is remaining in the rotation. Oh…[holds the ‘oh’ throughout the All-Star Break]…kay.

Francisco Lindor – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting .216. I don’t know if he has it in him to have a good enough 2nd half to make his whole year respectable, but here’s hoping he just has a respectable 2nd half.

Brayan Rocchio – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer. He was in Friday’s Buy, as a hot bat, and he might be worthwhile, in general, but there won’t be much talk about schmotatoes in this post because guys get cold during the break.

Chase DeLauter – 1-for-5 and his 11th homer. Someone thinks it’s March again. Speaking of hot bats who might not stay hot but are hot right now, DeLauter has three homers in the last four games.

Nick Lodolo – 5 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.60, but left Saturday’s game with a blister. You gotta be kidding me. This feels like a practical joke. Are there hidden cameras on me? Can you see I’m wearing leopard leotards?

Eugenio Suarez – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer, and 3rd homer this week. It would be my luck that Eugenio finally gets hot, then cools off during the break.

Matthew Boyd – 6 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.50. Buy!

Alex Bregman – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 9th homer, hitting .241. Sell! I know y’all love to razz me and I can handle it, but you always talk about how I say to sell someone who then hits a home run the next game or next few games (like Randy Arozarena this past Friday), but I said to sell Bregman two months ago when he still had actual value to sell. I’m not going to say drop him, because watch him Pull A Swanson, but he was kinda droppable a month ago.

Zac Gallen – Scratched from Saturday’s start. Too bad because I was at that game. Maybe Gallen was afraid of my acerbic tongue belittling him from behind home plate! See, on Saturday, I was behind home plate in the Mary Hart section. Can’t believe she wears jeans. Didn’t she insure her legs with Lloyd’s of London? (I’m at 11 o’clock and Mary Hart is at 4 o’clock.)

Someone found me

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— Razzball (@razzball.bsky.social) July 11, 2026 at 6:51 PM

Yoshinobu Yamamoto – 6 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 2.85. This was the game I was at and I kept screaming, “You were a preseason schmohawk!” and he was rattled!

Shohei Ohtani – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 22nd homer. I would miss Sunday’s game where he homers. Why can’t daddy (me) have nice things?

Emmet Sheehan – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.70. He went from potential number one, at worst number two, to: This Dodgers’ starter is going to suddenly have an injury when Snell or Glasnow returns. Or traded for a prospect and River Ryan is called up.

Jake McCarthy – 1-for-3, and a slam (10) and legs (15), hitting .301. Was the biggest slate of games with the fewest slam and legses? “Stop calling us!” That’s Elias Sports Bureau.

Ryan Helsley – His UCL is intact, according to a 2nd opinion, and hopes to return in September, and his third opinion in August will say surgery is required.

Kyle Bradish – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.61. He’s doing a bit of a Sandy Alcantara. One month bad, one month good, one month bad, this month good. It’s like Saberhagenmetrics with ADHD.

Blaze Alexander – Fractured his hand–Well, technically Erceg fractured Blaze’s hand on a pitch. Now, Blaze can use his passive voice on a month-long IL stint.

Curtis Mead – 1-for-2 and his 17th homer, a pinch-hit homer, and 2nd homer in two games. You roster Mead, you never take him out of your lineup. Let the Nats do whatever they’re gonna do with their lineup and platoons. LuGaJu keeps being platooned for Andres Chaparro, who might be one of the worst hitters in all MLB. No exaggeration.

James Wood – 1-for-2 and his 28th homer, hitting .279. In line at the Curses Emporium, talking to the person in front of me, “I’m hear to talk to a witch about whether there’s a curse on James Wood to repeat his poor 2nd half last year or if that curse was lifted. What do you mean, ‘I cursed him by just being here?’ NoooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo….Oh, you were kidding. Gotcha.”

Cade Cavalli – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.83. Just had a real sicko thought: 2027 Cade Cavalli sleeper.

Reynaldo Lopez – 5 IP, 4 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.50. For better or worse (usually worse), I don’t get back in a guy who looks off for a while. Like if someone dropped FreddyKBB, I have no interest. Now, if a starter gets onto my team because he pitched well (Reynaldo) to begin with, I’m not moving off him because of one bad start.

Trey Yesavage – 1 2/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 3.72. Trey Yegarbage. Is that something?

Ernie Clement – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer, hitting .296. That’s your AL-leading, All-Star vote-getter, Ernie Clement! (Also, I had some extra hyphens to use before the break. They don’t carry over!)

Peter Lambert – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.14. So, let me ask you something, is the Astros’ magic with starters finished because of Imai and Burrows or is it still alive because of Lambert?

Cristian Javier – 3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 9.98. It’s not a great sign that I thought he was out having arm surgery.

Jose Altuve – 1-for-4 and his 11th homer, hitting .235. On one hand, it looks like age caught up to him. On the other hand, he might have a dead cat bounce. On a third hand that is Hamburger Helper, this cat is close to the ground and doesn’t have far to fall, so won’t bounce back that high.

Cam Smith – 1-for-4 and his 12th homer, hitting .218. it’s gonna rock when he becomes Jordan Walker next year and I have him in no leagues, after suffering through whatever this is.

Jonathan Aranda – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer. Hitting around .350 in July; he also hit .374 in May and .290 in June. Pound for pound, might be one of the best hitters. Not best for fantasy because of lack of speed. Just best hitters.

Ian Seymour – 3 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.59. The weekend games before the break clearly count for you and me, but I get the sense some major leaguers don’t think they count for them.

Griffin Jax – 5 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.47 vs. Logan Gilbert – 6 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 11 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.32. Starters are so perfectly stupid because Gilbert is absolutely going to be in the top 100 for the 2nd half, and Jax won’t, and Jax easily out-pitched him when they faced each other.

Emerson Hancock – Left the game after being hit by a comebacker on his hand. Thankfully, it missed the other half of his last name.