Twins Shift Into Prospecting Overdrive With Emmanuel Rodriguez

Another top prospect was called up, this one was also the star of Webster and used to dunk on Gary Coleman, his name is Emmanuel Lewis. Dick Butkus was his dad and he burned down a house. Let’s hear it for the boy, who is actually a 49-year-old man pretending to be a seven-year-old! [intern whispers in ear] Interesting. Okay, turns out this guy is named Emmanuel Rodriguez. Ya know what separates Gen X from every other generation? We had multiple celebrities who were in their thirties playing children — Emmanuel Lewis, Gary Coleman, every cast member on 90210. You know what’s also true of us and no other generation? We had celebrities who never broke kayfabe. And not just wrestlers. Mr. T was an actor who never stopped acting. He’d go on talk shows as Mr. T. That’s weird. Any hoo! Emmanuel Rodriguez (1-for-4, and homered on Saturday) is another top prospect. Uppercase yay! For the Twins. Lowercase yay. But that doesn’t make him bad on his own. Middlecase yay? Here’s Itch on him, “The oft-injured E-Rod is healthy and hitting. He’s got four home runs and three steals in his last eight games along with eight walks against six strikeouts over that same stretch. Minnesota just recalled OF Walker Jenkins, so it’s a little bit crowded out there at the moment, but Byron Buxton seems to be on the verge of another trip to the injured list, and there’s just not much downside to getting Rodriguez up to the majors while he’s on the field and feeling good, and I pray Grey feels bad.” Cmon! So, that was from two weeks ago, and Buxton is out for the year, having hip surgery. (He’s supposed to be ready around Spring Training, but we’ll see.) This year Rodriguez went 11/7/.272 with a 18.6 BB% and 26.4 K% in 202 minor league at-bats, and, yes, injuries have, uh, hurt him. He reminds me a lot of Royce Lewis. Not a super promising comp! He has easy power (his Saturday home run went the other way with no effort), some speed and can’t stay on the field. I’m sure I’ll talk more about him this offseason in my rookie outlook series. Will investigate more his relation to Dick Butkus, if nothing else. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Joe Ryan – 4 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 3.84. Good to see Ryan still starting games when he’s not at 100%. No one can make his arm worse but himself and the Twins.

Trevor Larnach – 2-for-3 and his 13th homer, hitting .269, and 2nd homer in five games. After a long siesta of meh, he might be heating up again. They say The Larnach Monster comes out when temperatures cool.

Jo Adell – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 21st homer. First home run since August 22nd, i.e., Adell says hello to September.

Steven Kwan – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Kwan went from a light-power guy to “We shut the power off after numerous attempts to contact you.”

Travis Bazzana – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (12) and legs (19), hitting .249, and 2nd homer in five games, and hitting out of the three hole. A Bazinga Bazzana!

Tanner Bibee – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.16. Don’t love Bibee in general, but Streamonator says he gets the A’s at home next, and giddy up.

Esmerlyn Valdez – Hit the IL with a hamstring strain. The Magician’s season is about to wand down.

Paul Skenes – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.78. 2024-2025: 76 runs allowed in 55 starts. 2026: 30 starts, 76 runs allowed. Wish Saturday’s start was a more promising “quality” Quality Start, but those strikeouts are pretty meh, so let’s not get out over our *pinkie to mouth* Skenes.

Bubba Chandler – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners (4 BBs), 3 Ks, ERA at 4.28 vs. Matthew Boyd – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.16. This matchup was billed as, “Letterman voice, ‘Bubba/Boyd… Boyd/Bubba… Bubba/Boyd… Boyd/Bubba….'” It’s of little consolation but Boyd’s line should be better; Civale gave up two of his inherited runs. Feel like in general, Boyd’s 4.16 ERA should be better and Bubba’s 4.28 should be worse, but alas.

Clay Holmes – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.85. That Holmes out-struckout (out-struckout? Me learn English good.) Skenes just reaffirms my feelings on Skenes’s start.

Kyle Bradish – 3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.12, and hit the IL with abdominal discomfort. Bradish returned this year as roughly 40% of who he once was. Not entirely sure if the Orioles tried to fix him at any point, but either A) They did and couldn’t. B) Did not. C) There’s no C.

Trevor Rogers – 6 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.22. Gonna be very cool when the O’s go out this offseason and get a starter like Freddy Peralta, who will be a 5 ERA pitcher for them.

Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – 4-for-5 and his 9th homer. Every year there’s crazy stats that no one ever could’ve predicted, but is there one that’s more absurd than this being Vlad’s 1st home run in Toronto?

Kazuma Okamoto – 1-for-3 and his 32nd homer, hitting .236. Saying Okamoto has 32 homers right after saying Vladdy just hit his first at home — with two weeks left of the season — is such a bitter pill.

George Springer – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 15th homer. If I had a time traveling DeLorean, I’d go back to 2025 and drug test Springer. That’s it. Just show up in Toronto and ask for his pee.

Dylan Cease – 5 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners (5 BBs), 9 Ks, ERA at 2.38. Cam Schlittler won the AL Cy on Sunday, and the season is ending at the perfect time for Cease — the Ceason? — because it feels like Cease is about to resort to his old, terrible command ways.

Robert Gasser – 5 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.30. Streamonator said to stream, so I streamed, but was very annoyed to see their pen blow his chance for a win. I blame Ashby. He’s told the whole pen about vulture wins! Shut your mouth, Ashby!

Joey Ortiz – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer. Will be interesting to see who ends up with more homers, Joey Ortiz or Vlad Jr. One guy is a 7-10-homer guy and another guy is Joey Ortiz.

Chase Burns – 3 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 2.80. Unlike Joe Ryan, I don’t mind Burns throwing a few more innings because that’ll allow him to throw more next year. Well, in theory, if there’s a full season next year. I think I’m going to stop talking about the potential lockout until it actually happens. Just know that when I say next year, I’m well aware next year might be truncated.

Eugenio Suarez – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 24th homer, hitting .213. Should be his last year in the majors, but watch him have one of the worst years ever next year. Oh, it’s going to be gloriously bad.

Rafael Devers – Shut down for the season with a core muscle injury. Fantasy teams with him just took a hit to their core. In the 2nd half, .275, 18 HRs, 46 RBIs, .376 OBP, .611 SLG and .988 OPS.

Logan Webb – 5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.31. Damn, what a supreme sucker, and, no, that’s not a sucker with sour cream. Good way to get on my shizz list is do that in the final weeks. What a weird season he had overall. His June was better than anyone’s — 38 IP, 0.71 — and other months have been miserable.

Manny Machado – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 27th homer, hitting .221. If he ends up hitting .240 with 30 homers, you’re gonna look at his stats next year and think it wasn’t nearly as bad a season as it was.

Michael McGreevy – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.83. McGreevy deserved better than you secretly calling him McGrody. McGroovy was right there, too. How did McGroovy (see?) have a solid season with a 6.3 K/9 and 2.5 BB/9? I have no idea. His ground balls were even down (not literally).

George Soriano – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 4.36 and his 4th save. Riley O’Brien’s been a disasterclass since August 23rd — 8 IP, 11 ER, 5 BBs, 13 hits, and only seven Ks. Soriano’s been far from stellar too, which is to say [shrugs] I don’t know. O’Brien likely gets next save, but it’s a mess.

David Sandlin – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 5.64. You in March, “I don’t care what Grey says, I’m drafting Paul Skenes for my H2H team because I need him for my playoffs.” The guy who slept through your draft, “I got sand in my shorts…Hey, I didn’t draft David Sandlin, I said I had sand in my–Meh, ya know what, who cares? I’ll take him.”

Randy Arozarena – 3-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 24th and 25th homer, and 2nd and 3rd homer in two games. If the Rice Bowl called Bing Bong home, he’d a 40-homer guy. Though, that might be true for any top 100 drafted hitter.

Zack Gelof – 2-for-3, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer. Gelof in Bing Bong? 30-homer guy. Road games? 10-homer guy. Bing Bong equals “hitting on the moon with aluminum bats.”

Shea Langeliers – 1-for-1, 2 RBIs as he was activated from the IL. Whoa, what a surprise it is to see him activated! Not as great of a surprise if I hadn’t dropped him because the A’s said he was out for the season, but then he didn’t start on Sunday, so an okay surprise?

Lawrence Butler – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs nd his 15th and 16th homer, 2nd homer in three games. Hot schmotato alert!

Josh Jung – 2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI as he was activated from the IL on Saturday. Honestly, who cares, but I saw he was hitting third and Langford sixth and I rolled my eyes so hard I lost a pupil for a few minutes.

Corey Seager – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 18th homer, three homers in the last week. The good news is someone out there is going to think this September from Seager means he’s worth drafting next year. Oh, and then we’re gonna laugh! Oh boy! Unless it does mean that, then they’re gonna laugh at us. I don’t like that nearly as much.

Cal Quantrill – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.82. Cal Quantrill: H2H Playoff Winner.

Gabriel Moreno – 1-for-5 and his 13th homer, hitting .301. Yo Gabby Gabby!

Nolan Arenado – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 25th homer, 3rd homer in four games. You have to check this out, I purchased a child’s turtleneck with the name “Jobs” written in Sharpie on the tag. Gotta be Steve’s from summer camp when he was a kid. Here, I have it over by this open window–NOOOO!!! Torenado!

Matt Olson – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 39th homer. Four fewer homers to go!

Grant Holmes – 4 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 3.49 vs. Andrew Painter – 5 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 5.54. This matchup was billed as, “Holmes/Painter, which is what Harrison Ford did before his big break.” I’d check Streamonator for both guys.

Hayden Wesneski – 3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 3.70. Sigh. All around terrible start. Notched only four whiffs, four-seamer was down 1.6 MPH and had a 88.4 MPH exit velocity. Can’t be bothered to be holden Hayden.

Isaac Paredes – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 21st homer, 2nd homer in two games, and third homer this week. Finally this schmohawk gets hot. I hope he hits nine more homers in the final two weeks. Not because I have him, but this way people will be suckered into drafting him next year. “Ooh, yeah, he’s a 30-homer guy, that’s great value.” Yeah, he’s a 17-homer guy who happened to get hot when most leagues were already decided.

Brody Hopkins – 1 IP, 2 ER, as he was called up by the Rays. He’s a top pitching prospect and also sounds like the son of the head of the hospital, which causes all kinds of problems for the nurses, because he’s trouble! His command might be trouble too — 8.8 BB/9 in Triple-A in 94 IP. Sounds like a work in progress that I will be avoiding.

Freddy Peralta – 5 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 3 BBs, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.67. Rays jumped out to a huge lead and FreddyKBB cruised out to the Ivictory Coast for a free night at the W.

Jonathan Aranda – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 20th and 21st homer. Ya know what kind of season Aranda’s having? The kind you would’ve taken from Vlad Jr.

Richie Palacios – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 10th homer, 2nd homer in five games, and he was in Friday’s Buy. Ask for him by name, that name is Dick Palace.

Ian Seymour – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.27. Is there a list where I can sign up for being in on Seymour for 2027? A “I Want To See More Seymour” list. Does that exist? Put me on it.

Ranger Suarez – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.33. Ya know the Phillies are a well-coached team, because their pitchers leave and they’re still good. Might’ve made that up in my head, but it sounds good. In reality, the Red Sox are just a good pitching team too. Pretty impressive since their home park is anything but easy for pitchers. 7th in the league for ground balls and a great defense doesn’t hurt.

Payton Tolle – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.02. He threw an immaculate inning. There were two immaculate innings this weekend (Justin Martinez). I bet Rob Manfred has them using an immaculate inning ball.

Caleb Durbin – 1-for-, 2 runs and a slam (13) and legs (18), hitting .250. He’s a whisper from a very interesting end-of-season statline: 15/25/.260. 15/20/.240 or less is far less so. Durbin needs a whisper campaign.

Noah Cameron – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.84. If you’re wondering, yes, I am going to let Cameron hurt me again next year.

Adael Amador – 1-for-4, and his 4th homer in 15 games, and the Rockies are about to go home for ten games. That’s a schmotato, as is their whole team.

Jackson Jobe – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.89. Not to be a hater my whole life, but this was home vs. the Suckies. If he didn’t pitch well, I would’ve suggested he try real estate with Alex Kirilloff. (Check him out at Sun Coast Realty!)

Zach Neto – 1-for-4, 2 runs and a slam (26) and legs (20), and his 3rd homer since Tuesday. That’s five games on your Bobby Grich advent calendar.

Moises Ballesteros – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer, 2nd homer in five games. Kinda interested in Moises for 2027. Think there could be some sneaky 2nd catcher value here. In the back of my mind, I am currently thinking about how I thought that also for O’Hoppe for, like, three years.

Andrew Alvarez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners (4 BBs), 8 Ks, ERA at 3.35. This was a Streamonator call, and his next is not, and I wouldn’t read too much into him beyond that, since he had a 5.29 ERA in Triple-A.

Zac Thornton – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.44 vs. Gerrit Cole – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.67. This matchup was billed as, “H2H Playoffs are frustrating as all hell. Here’s one more example of my opponent having Thornton and me having Cole and dubya tee eff.” Though, some billed this as, “I had Thornton and my opponent had Cole, what’s this joker talking about frustrating?”

Cam Schlittler – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 1.95. Yanks should do him a solid, let him rest for the final two weeks and let him win the Cy with a sub-2 ERA, as they’ve all but clinched the Wild Card.

Ben Rice – 1-for-2 and his 38th homer. Rice-a-HRoni!

Christian Scott – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.76. Nearly streamed Scott, but at Yankees seemed too scary. I had no problem streaming EdRod and Grant Holmes though! Check out the big brain on Grey!

Eury Perez – 5 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.99. This should’ve been the year Eury broke out, so now I’m wondering if it will never come. Can’t imagine drafting him next year with any semblance of assurance he’ll be great.

Josue De Paula – 2-for-2, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer. With that home run, the Dodgers have traded De Paula to the Reds for Elly De La Cruz and a Hunter Greene throw-in. I kid! Not until next July 31st for that.

Emmet Sheehan – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.79, and two straight solid starts since his return from the minors. Where was this Sheehan the first four months when I rostered this bum? Suddenly, he’s good? Seriously, that grinds my gears and I don’t want my gears grinding! My gears are oiled and in neutral! (Can you tell I know nothing about cars?)

Tyler Glasnow – 4 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 3.50. Maybe I am Mr. Conspiracy, but am I the only one who sees the Yankees and Dodgers facing the most random teams here in September? Teams that most people would’ve pegged as pushovers even when making the schedule last year. Yanks got Rockies at home? In September? Why? Dodgers are vs. the Marlins? Also, facing the Reds twice and Nats in September? [adjusts tinfoil hat] In addition to the Rockies, the Yanks got the Twins, DBags and Angels? Why are they facing these teams in September? Stop monkeying around, Manfred! I’m onto you!