Sample sizes are everything, or so I’ve heard. From other people. Not about me. I’m personally told sample sizes mean nothing. Gently reminded, as I’m also reminded, it happens to everyone. What is ‘it?’ Damn, that’s deep, which is not what I hear often when discussing sample sizes, but Tim Beckham (2-for-4, 3 RBIs) went deep twice yesterday (11th and 12th homer). I’m talking about sample sizes more than a bachelorette party because Beckham had done nothing up until yesterday’s game. At this point in the season, it’s not what has a guy done this month or past week, but what did he do yesterday and what can he do today? Two homers tell me a guy is locked in. *Beckham mimes being in a box* Perfect! I’d grab him, sample size be damned. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Alex Cobb – Left after only four pitches due to a blister. He ends the year with a 4.90 ERA, and is only in year one of a $57 million, four-year deal, so the O’s will have their ace back again next year.
Mike Foltynewicz – 7 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.88. He carried a no-hitter into the sixth inning, as the Braves clinched. Faultynewsitch is supposed to get the Phils one more time, but I’d be shocked if he goes more than a few innings as a tune up for the playoffs. He gave us all he had this year, and now it’s time to bid him adieu, as they say in Jeff Francoeur’s house.
Scott Kingery – 2-for-3 and his 8th homer. Podcaster Ralph and I talk about Kingery on the podcast that’s coming on Tuesday. You know what this season might’ve been for Kingery? Mondesi’s 2017 season.
Tyler Glasnow – 6 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.11 on the Rays. If he goes 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER in his next start, he will have exactly the same number of innings and earned runs in Tampa as he had in Pittsburgh, at which point a UFO will land and request the return of Andrelton Simmons. These are facts, folks.
Blake Snell – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 1.90. Trevor Williams was solid; Patrick Corbin outperformed expectations; Eddie Rosario was good; Trevor Story was amazing; Tim Anderson was better than you thought, but my Blake Snell sleeper post? I’m performing seances up in here, and my keyboard is the ouija board.
C.J. Cron – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 28th homer, hitting over .400 in the last week. Which is great until he will finds himself randomly on the bench this week. Instead of a screw job, him getting scheduled days off is a Cron job.
Brandon Lowe – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer, hitting .233. Smart money will be on Lowe breaking out next year, too bad I deface all my money to make presidents look dumb. “I call this one George Washingstunod,” as I place it in a tip jar with a wink.
Thomas Pannone – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.58. If he starts his last game of the year, and I’m not sure why he wouldn’t, the Stream-o-Nator loves the start, and I could see rolling him out there, i.e., rollin’ wit Pah-gnomies.
Jake Junis – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.42 vs. Jordan Zimmermann – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.31. Here’s an interesting pickle on both of their next starts, they both face teams that should be resting their regulars. The Stream-o-Nator doesn’t love their next starts, but I can kinda see both of them as streaming options, if their opposing lineups are background extras to a playoff team.
Adalberto Mondesi – 2-for-5 and his 12th homer, hitting .287. “…and with the first pick of his 2019 draft, Grey takes Adalberto Mondesi……and with the 2nd pick of his 2019 draft, Grey takes Raul Mondesi Jr…….and with the fourth pick of his 2019 draft, Grey takes Raul Adalberto Mondesi Jr. That’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for him.”
Brad Keller – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.08. Keller’s walk rate is above his ERA, which literally translates to: even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.
Chad Wallach – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer. “Can’t leave one hanging,” signed Chad.
Justin Verlander – 6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 0 walks, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.60. As previously mentioned on the aforementioned tip, I will be recapping all positions once the season is done, so won’t go too much into this, but Verlander’s starter ranking on the Player Rater blows me away every time I think about it.
George Springer – Sprained his thumb and, according to A.J. Hinch, he “ran a little funny.” Sounds like Springer has devolved 40,000 years. Can we film his reaction to Fiers?
Charlie Morton – Pulled after one inning with shoulder discomfort. No one would fault Morton if that made him salty.
Yuli Gurriel – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 13th homer, third homer in the past three games, and hitting near-.450 in the last week, and Mr. Dan Pants went over him in Saturday’s roundup and, yes, hot schmotato alert!
Tyler Skaggs – 2 1/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 3.91. I rarely write off a whole team, especially one in a pitcher’s park, but I’m gonna find hard to draft any Angels starters until they can prove their arms are not 60% torn elbow tendons and 40% PRP.
Jaime Barria – 5 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.54. After he left the game, “Feel pretty good about that stream. Really he did more than is rightfully expected from him vs. the Astros. Hmm…What’s this, Buttrey is coming in? That sounds weird…OH GOD! THAT FEELS WEIRD.” In case you don’t own The Butt King, he shat on his owners on Saturday with 0 IP, 4 ER.
Marco Gonzales – 6 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.12. He got the Rangers this weekend, and gets them once more, in what is my Ride Or Die, Pick ‘Em If You Got ‘Em, Last Ditch To Dig Yourself Out, Pick of the Week.
James Paxton – Scheduled to return from pneumonia after missing a few weeks. True Story Alert! My grandfather, Joe, is 91 years old and went on a cruise in the Caribbean this past winter, and returned to the states with pneumonia. He recovered in three days and was back to eating pasta and saying mildly racist things in one-fifth of the time as Paxton. Now, you might be thinking, Paxton has to pitch. Sure, and Joe has to bitch, you’re telling me one flipped letter and it’s three weeks longer recovery time?
Erick Fedde – 3 1/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 5.24. Fedde wop!
Jeff McNeil – 4-for-5, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 6th steal, hitting .340. With what we know about the Mets, do we want to try to guess how McNeil will disappoint us next year? Mets trade for Sean Rodriguez and he’s called on to platoon at 2nd with Jose Reyes as McNeil backs them up? McNeil gets the Mackey Sasser yips? McNeil breaks his leg on Conforto’s collarbone?
Miles Mikolas – 7 IP, 1 ER, 2 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.99. Pretty bummed I didn’t draft Mikolas in every league, after liking him so much this preseason. The one saving grace is I’ll just find more starters to love for 2019 (then ignoring my own advice in drafts). The cycle of stupidity!
Rich Hill – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.87. That seems likely his last major start before the playoffs to not risk his blisters and him getting pussy. Wow, that sentence took a weird turn. That’s pussy as in with pus, i.e., Hill’s fingers get in trouble with–Okay, this isn’t getting better.
Hyun-Jin Ryu – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.00. He’s solid, this was against the Padres, yadda3, but I had a completely unrelated thought (like the rest of this shizz is related). If the Rockies and Dodgers face each other in the playoffs, does Kenley go to Coors?
Joey Lucchesi – 3 2/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 4.14. After that start, Lucchesi will need Witness Protection. He should come back as Schax Merzer.
Mike Fiers – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.31. After owning Fiers for the last few months and his 2.67 post-All-Star break ERA, I can see why people become pyromaniacs.
Matt Olson – 3-for-4 and his 28th homer, hitting .246. This is funny (not funny). Look at what expectations have done to Olson. He could hit 30 HRs and .250 this year, and feel like a disappointment.
Kyle Gibson – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.68. All about the last start at this point, and Gibson’s final one is a fist pumper.
Antonio Senzatela – 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.52. I’m completely on the fence for Senzatela’s last start. His opponent, the Phils, definitely won’t be playing for anything, and Senzatela will be trying to prove himself to the Rockies. However: in Coors. Crazy tough call, might just Rochambeau myself.
Kyle Freeland – 7 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.84. You know how you feel a special affection for guys who have been on your team and done well? I’ve owned Freeland for two months, and I feel nothing towards him. Zero connection. I’m on a stage, Montel brings out Freeland and I shrug, “This is your reveal?”
Mookie Betts – 4-for-6, 2 runs and his 31st homer, hitting .344. Mookie Ballgame! The ‘game’ part is pronounced GAH-may.
Trevor Williams – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.04. And you laughed at me when I called him a sleeper in the preseason! You mocked! You called up your friends and pointed and your friends said, “You’re on the phone, mate, I can’t see you pointing,” so then they mocked you and you slowly started to realize mocking isn’t nice, then, like an outed Bert and Ernie, you felt worse when Williams put up the best 2nd half of any starting pitcher.
Joe Musgrove – Was shut down with abdominal discomfort. I’m no doctor, but lay off the dried fruit.
Nick Kingham – 1 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 5.23. Now I know why all my black girlfriends keep telling me to Kingham to the curb, girlfriend.
Christian Yelich – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (32) and legs (21), hitting .322. This was the year to draft Yelich. You are never going to get value again from him. You might draft him in the 1st round next year and get 1st round value, but that’s about it.
Travis Shaw – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 31st homer. Look at that year, then think about how the Brewers traded for Moistasskiss instead of a pitcher. That’s like getting one of those monkey banks from Hawaii and filling it with Saltines, because they got crackers in their coconut.
Kris Bryant – Out with shoulder fatigue. He should try shouldering himself this year in fantasy.
Kyle Hendricks – 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.49. With his excellent 2nd half, he is setting us up for a 2019 kick in the head.
Carlos Rodon – 2 1/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.61, and his ERA has bumped up from 2.89 in three weeks, because he doesn’t want us to point and laugh at people drafting him next year. I guess we’re left with laughing at drafters of Kyle Headkicks.
Lucas Giolito – 6 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 5.81. Giolito showed a bit in August what made him exciting, but, as Earth, Wind and Fire would sing, “Say do you remember? Giolito’s now wincing in September.”
Jose Abreu – May not return from his ingrown hair problem. This is like an episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta that has a commercial teaser of, “Are you sure we should be using a bikini wax place that soaks their fingers in the blue water meant for hair combs?”