You emerge from mother’s basement, holding your hands up to your eyes to block the sun, and scream, “Ma! I won my fantasy league! Ma!” You stop to look around; it’s a fiery landscape reminiscent to an apocalypse. You open further the basement door, and it falls off its hinges. You, scared, “Ma?” There’s no walls anymore on your house, which gives you a vantage point to the entire surrounding area that smolders. Coming up your once-tree-lined street is a posse of thousands of–An army from another country? Another world? Who are they? What have they done with your family? Just as the questions dissolve over you, a warrior spots you and grunts for you to get in line. You reach for the only weapon you can get your hands on, a Lou Pinella commemorative mini-bat from a 1981 stadium giveaway, and join the post-apocalyptic army. As you scuttle into position behind the marching forces, you see a group of warriors carrying your mother’s head on a pitchfork. Overcome with emotion, you run up and scream, “Ma! I gotta tell you about the fantasy league I won!” In this scenario, I am your mother, and the army is Razzball. You’re welcome! Today is the day when you realize you’ve spent 27,000 man hours this summer beating eleven other strangers to win a virtual trophy, and it feels great! That’s if you won your league, if you came in 2nd or worst, you get an A for effort. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Hyun-Jin Ryu to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Even though I wanted to bet on the Twins to win the World Series and didn’t, I still have to root for them this offseason. With all the bad publicity on baseball, it will be nice to see a team as pure as one led by Polanco, Pineda, Cruz–Wait, has everyone on their team been suspended at one point for PEDs? At least they have Miguel Sano (2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 32nd and 33rd homer). Hmm…I remember something with Sano. Hold on…*googling Sano and suspension* Oh, he just tried to force a smacker on a photographer and broke a police officer’s leg in the Dominican Republic. As Young Grey used to dream about, screw the Twins. Any hoo! Miguel Sano now has the 2nd lowest HR/AB (11.1), only being beat by Mike Trout. If we can get a full season from Sano (no guarantee with him) in 2020, I wouldn’t bet against a 45+ homer season. Mean’s while, his price will be that of what? $5 and/or the 12th round in a 12-teamer? There’s gonna be some crazy value for Sano in 2020. You could say *pinkie to mouth* In-Sano. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Was thinking how much I like Harrison Bader and how he feels tailor-made for a 2020 sleeper post, then I had a deep thought. No, not my deep thought about oat milk, but if you wanna hear that one, it goes like this. The dairy industry invented oat milk because when you order, “Coffee with oat milk,” you invariably get a coffee without milk, and it makes you appreciate dairy much more. I’m onto you, industrial dairy complex! But my deep thought about fantasy baseball sleepers was: If every hitter is great, doesn’t it make more sense to only look at pitchers who are sleepers? Anyone can tell you so-and-so hitter is a sleeper, because they will likely hit 30+ homers, but every hitter hits 30+ homers, so bleh! More discussion for the offseason, I guess. Yesterday, Harrison Bader went 2-for-4 with two homers (9, 10) as he hits .213. He’ll be 26 years old in 2020, and way past the point when he should have an everyday job, and we care because he has 20/15/.250 potential. Reminds me a bit of all the Bradley Zimmer/Clint Frazier sleeper posts over the years, and now I want nothing to do with him. Obviously, with three homers in last four games, he’s hot, but, as the eight-hole hitter, I’m once again wondering about pitcher sleepers. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
There’s one big question on everyone’s mind: what type of balls will 2020 bring? Will they be wrinkly? Sweaty? Blue? People are wondering about the baseballs, Donkey. Oh right, baseballs, thanks random italicized voice!
Let’s face it, we have no idea what next year’s balls will look like. Hopefully they aren’t engorged, lumpy, or discolored, but we just don’t know. And we won’t know for certain until early April 2020. What we do know is, regardless of how salty next year’s balls taste, there will be a bunch of pitchers drafted early who get hurt or just flat out stink (see: Corey Kluber, Trevor Bauer, Blake Snell, Carlos Carrasco, Jameson Taillion, & Luis Severino from 2019) and there will be lots of pitchers drafted late, or not drafted at all, who sneak into the end of season top 25 starting pitchers (see: Lucas Giolito, Hyun-Jin Ryu, Sonny Gray, Mike Minor, Lance Lynn, Mike Soroka, Domingo German, & Jake Odorizzi from 2019). Grey has almost fully brainwashed me over at his Fade Top Pitchers School of Philosophy and Sexuality. Yes, it’s just as weird as it sounds over there.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Jose Berrios continued his 2nd half slide, going 5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.78. His ERA in the 2nd half is 5.37. That’s…uh, what do I call this, thesaurus? Synonymous Rex? No, I’m asking for another word for bad, not for another word for thesaurus. Ooh..What’s this, an ad for a thesaurus film festival? Pulp Fabrication followed by Schindler’s Menu? Very provocative! Saw recently at another site an article dated late-June for how Berrios could be the AL Cy Young. *makes Michael Scott grimace face* His BABIP in the 2nd half is .354 (up from .276) and his LOB% plummeted to 66% (from 78.3%), while his Ks skyrocketed to 10.2 K/9 (from 8), and his walks went the wrong way too, which is up from 1.8 to 3.3 BB/9. It’s simplistic to say he’s missing out of the zone. Which is why I’m going to say he’s also missing in the zone. He’s throwing everything either off the plate or dead center. This all feels fixable for 2020, but there’s no time left and you need to move on in shallower leagues. Now, excuse me, I’m going to take in The Shawshank Refunding and Batfellow in a twin picture show. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hello, Newman! Newman goes into Colorado and gets tangled up with Kramer as he tries to sell his newest invention: Oregano that smells like weed. It’s called Mario Bluntali. Or is it weed that smells like oregano? Or did he already say that? Newman and Kramer have forgotten. Yesterday, Kevin Newman went 4-for-4, 4 RBIs with his 8th and 9th homer. Sure, it was in Coors, but it’s time we start considering Newman as more of a one-trick pony that annoys Jerry, and flush out his character. He had 28 steals last year in Triple-A, and 13 this year in just under 400 ABs. His lack of Ks are also interesting. He has a top ten strikeout rate (11.6%), so his BABIP is high (.334), but his .302 average might be close to repeatable in 2020. Say 12/25/.290 for what will almost be a bargain price in 2020? Is that far off from what you were hoping from Lorenzo Cain? I wrote Kevin Newman in this afternoon’s Buy column, then deleted him because he has to be owned in a majority of leagues by now, but if he’s out there, absolutely grab him, like Newman would help Kramer grab some Kenny Rogers Roasters. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
You know how you bought that prosthetic pierced nipple in college? Then, one day, you were at a strong-in-energy kegger and everyone was screaming for you to jump in the pool, but you knew there was a 99% chance your prosthetic pierced nipple would come off and everyone would know you’re a fraud? But you jumped in anyway, and your prosthetic pierced nipple floated away, but, to your surprise, everyone liked you still, without the prosthetic pierced nipple. Lucas Giolito is your tan-lined nipple without the prosthetic piercing. He may get hit around occasionally, he might not always get Ks, but, at the end of the day, Lucas Giolito (6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 3.42) is a great, bare-nippled pitcher. His 11.3 K/9, 3.2 BB/9, 3.35 FIP tell me next year he’s going to be a sneaky top 15 starter in 2020, who is forgotten like a prosthetic pierced nipple. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
So you started the season with a monstrous keeper squad of Jose Ramirez, Giancarlo Stanton, Corey Kluber, Carlos Carrasco, and Luis Severino? Now you’re sitting in a bathtub, crying like Grey as he watches Travis Shaw and Jose Peraza bag his sack of Whole Foods groceries in the year 2021. Peraza holds the bag while Shaw inserts the various packages of beyond meats. The toaster is already plugged in and heating up next to your bath; Johnny Cash’s rendition of “Hurt” is blaring on your old school boombox as you shovel Hagen-Daas into your face. Suddenly everything goes black! Did the toaster slip into the tub? Nope, you blew a fuse!
Now you have a choice. Either go flip the breaker, crank The Man in Black back up, and finish the job; or wipe those tears away and send out a flurry of fantasy baseball trade offers before your deadline passes. In an effort to save a life, here are my top 20 starting pitchers for 2020:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Stan Bush? Give me that beat! You got the Tauchman! You got the power! Yeah! You’ve never walked, you’ve never run! You’re a winner! (Though some may say running and walking aren’t bad for baseball.) You got the moves, you got the streets (not as important in baseball)! Break the rules (well, Barry Bonds had some success with this)! You’re nobody’s fool! Yeah! You’re at your best when the going gets rough! (This is true since the Yanks had some injuries and needed Mike Tauchman to step up.) You’ve been put to the test, but it’s never enough! (That’s less true; we appreciate you here, Tauchman). You got the Tauchman! You got the power! It’s all true! So, Mike Tauchman (2-for-4, 2 RBIs, hitting .299) hit another home run last night, his 10th, that’s in 60 games. And he stole a bag, his 4th! He now has three homers in two games, and four homers in the last week. I grabbed him in multiple leagues, because who doesn’t love dongs! Not this redblooded American! Hoo-rah, I got the Tauch!
Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the post, fantasy football RCLs have launched. Get in now!
Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you missed out on my RCL earlier don’t worry, there’s still plenty of other leagues open against other @Razzball writers. Join now for a chance to win a spot in #RazzBowl 2020, it’s FREE! https://t.co/SF1dgtZWCS
— DonkeyTeeth (@DonkeyTeeth87) August 6, 2019
Ken Griffey Jr. and Don Mattingly. Do those names ring any bells? Well Paul Goldschmidt is now two home runs shy of joining them in the record for most consecutive games with a home run. On Saturday night he made it six for six. Just when everyone had just about given up on him, he comes busting out of the gates like a three-year-old Thoroughbred at the Kentucky Derby. I toyed with the idea of writing a post entitled Paul Goldshit about a month ago, but as a long time fan and someone that’s owned him in my keep forever league since 2012, I just couldn’t turn my back on him like that. In fact, I have been telling anyone that will listen that they should buy low. Real low. How low can he go? While his early 2018 was not quite as bad as he’s started this season, last year’s naysayers are wishing they owned him in the second half.Please, blog, may I have some more?