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This year is hilarious! This year is like Opposite World! George Constanza would’ve done so well with pitching this year! Gavin Williams, who sounds like the actor who played Potsie (I’m old!) and had a 7.8 K/9 and 4.4 BB/9, goes against the 5th best team for average, 22nd worst team for strikeouts, 2nd best team for hits, and throws an absolute gem — 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.90. Of course, Potsie was supposed to be better than he had showed so far in the majors, but no one was expecting him to have an outing like that! G. Will-ikers! Gavin a (P)Jays Party! It’s square as eff Monday here at Razzball! I’m talking about Potsie and freakin’ pajamas! So, as I alluded to earlier, Gavin Williams was supposed to be good. This might’ve been a wink-wink, nudge-nudge for Gavin Williams 2024 fantasy. For this year? He’s still inducing weak contact, even if the Ks haven’t been there before last night, as his ERA attests. I had them Bibee, Allen then Gavin, but Potsie’s easily jumped Allen, if he’s throwing for strikeouts now. Anyway. here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jose Ramirez – 1-for-4 Suspended for three games; Tim Anderson suspended for six games. A representative from the Commissioner’s Office said, “If you’re gonna fight, you better win.” It was also revealed yesterday that Yasmani Grandal didn’t start the last game before the All-Star Break, and, due to that, wanted to leave the park early. Tim Anderson said they didn’t need him, and he’d pay for his flight. Yasmani Grandal slapped him. First time Grandal’s sniffed anything resembling WAR in years. Tim Anderson could get into a ring against anyone right now and it would be sold out in seconds, which is longer than the fight would last.
Ramon Laureano – Claimed off waivers by the Guardians. What a total garbage organization the A’s are. It’s kinda amazing what a good writer Michel Lewis is that he was able to sell that feel-good story about what garbage the A’s are in a Moneyball package. A’s aren’t even pretending to trade anymore, now they’re just dropping players who make more than a million dollars.
Hyun-Jin Ryu – 4 IP, 0 hits, 1 walk, 2 Ks, ERA at 4.00, but left after taking a comebacker off his knee. A comebacker that even Don Rickles wouldn’t approve of.
Carlos Hernandez – 2/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 4.20. “Hey, I know I’m not going to get a lot of saves from the Royals. They don’t have a ton of opportunities, but, when they play C-Her’s music and I start humming, ‘Have you C-Her?’ like I’m MC Hammer, then it’s gonna be fireworks! He’s so good!” After three appearances as the closer, “Oh, eff this guy.”
Cole Ragans – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.86. Welp, it’s time to look more in-depth at Ragans. So, he chucks a 98.5 MPH fastball, that appears to rise late, an 87 MPH slide-buckler and an 88 MPH change. His 4-seamer has the 2nd highest spin among starters, behind Burnes, and his change is 3rd highest. What’s kinda funny, Cole Ragans looks exactly like Cole Hamels. Is it him? Did they touch, um, swords and trade powers? Ragans gained 4 MPH since he was a terrible pitcher in 2022, and is now legit. I’m in.
Chris Sale – Scheduled to return on Friday. Sale was great in his last rehab start, he only smashed a mini fridge, and no TVs.
Trevor Story – Set to return today from the IL. Red Sox said, “If he’s as good as Kris Bryant has been for the Rockies, we’re set.”
Pablo Reyes – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and a slam (1) and legs (2). His years in the minors is almost legal to drive.
Brayan Bello – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.64. I like Bello, so don’t take this the wrong way, but two Ks vs. the Poverty Royals is nothing to be proud of.
Starling Marte – Hit the IL with “checked out in April.”
Pete Alonso – 3-for-4, 6 RBIs and his 32nd and 33rd homer. Albombso-so!
Kodai Senga – 6 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.24. He should be free to be great, but I know he carries the Mets’ baggage, and, because of that, people are still worried about the other foot that could drop from him. He has no other foot! Senga has two feet!
Brett Baty – Was sent down. He was one of my biggest disappointments. I trusted the Mets–Oh, I see my error now.
Luis Campusano – 4-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 3rd and 4th homer. Guess that’s why people go see the Cliff Swallows of San Luis Campusano.
Seth Lugo – 3 1/3 IP, 8 ER, ERA at 4.19. It’s fair to wonder if Lugo’s getting gassed being at the upper end of his career IP. Like Star Wars, there’s only so much IP can do for you. So, Streamonator? Fine, but if Lugo is gassed, it might not matter of matchup.
Mookie Betts – 1-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 31st homer, 2nd in as many games. Admit to me right now that in the not-too-distant past, you thought Mookie Best was Mookie Donezo.
Enrique Hernandez – 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 7th homer. Red Sox could’ve easily won this game vs. the Padres.
Tony Gonsolin – 6 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.42. One joy this year is watching Gonsolin not exceed expectations again. Just tie yourself to some schadenfreude and you’ll be a happier person.
Ezequiel Tovar – 1-for-3 and his 11th homer. It ain’t Tovar ’til it’s Tovar. But, seriously, is this Tovar? Because this is kinda boring.
Freddy Peralta – 7 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 0 walks, 13 Ks, ERA at 4.28. I’m already mentally drafting FreddyKBB in every league next year, so be warned when he misplaces his rotator cuff in the preseason.
Sal Frelick – 2-for-3, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .273. Around here we call them samples, but a Frelick works too.
Brice Turang – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and a slam (6) and legs (14), hitting .225, but 2nd homer in the last week, and there has been some movement up the schmotato scale for him.
Spencer Strider – 2 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.94. Strider fell to me in one league, and I don’t recall how happy I was about getting him, but it was…Let’s say, as sad I am now? That’s how happy I was then. It was the freakin’ Pirates! I think I might’ve broke some pitchers. I am sorry, Strider. I am sorry, Manoah. I am sorry, Lance Lynn. Okay, I’m not sorry at all to those last two. Eff them! Though, if you were lucky to have Strider in an NFBC league, then hopefully you benched him. That’s right, not sure if you heard, but their site went down and they allowed everyone to make roster moves until 9 PM ET, or after games started. Think the guy who is currently leading in the Main Event summed it up perfectly:
Finally a tool better than the @Razzball streamonator – actual results.
— John (@jpausma) August 8, 2023
Ozzie Albies – 1-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 26th homer. Ozzie and harried because I didn’t draft Ozzie, after he screwed me last year.
Connor Joe – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Hot schmota-Joe alert!
Dane Dunning – 6 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.21. Well, I did remember to start him this week vs. the A’s. *makes a sad thumbs up*
Logan Webb – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 hits, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.38. One of the most underrated pitchers every year, and that’s coming from someone who actively underrates him.
Patrick Sandoval – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.86. One of the pitchers every year who some think is underrated but ends being just rated.
Carlos Rodon – Hit the IL with “Let’s be honest, he hasn’t been healthy for years. Do you need a reason?”
Dylan Cease – 5 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners (7 BBs — ha!), 6 Ks, ERA at 4.42. White Sox are the official “Hold My Beer” team, but they faced off with the New York Yikes. A team with Jake Bauers leading off vs. a team with a guy leading off, who now flinches when someone sneezes.
Eury Perez – 4 2/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 2.79 as he was recalled from Pensacola with its white beaches and caramel-colored waters. Eury is a grab in all leagues for as long as he can throw this year, even if yesterday was less than ideal. How long will that be he’s able to throw? Honestly, not sure, my guess is four more, five-inning starts.
Jorge Soler – 1-for-4 and his 27th homer. The sun’ll come out, yesterday!
Jazz Chisholm Jr. – 1-for-1 and his 11th, a pinch-hit homer. Great, with my third pick, I drafted Rusty Staub.
Joey Votto – 1-for-4 and his 13th homer. Votto bangs, it’s carved right here on the bathroom stall.
Christian Encarnacion-Strand – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer. He could get hot and hit more homers than anyone else in baseball for the final seven weeks, so, while he hasn’t been the hottest, he could be, i.e., I’d hold if I could.
Brandon Williamson – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.54. Any pitcher who pitchers that well in Great American Smallpark deserves an “Attaboy” and a “Kudos,” the candy bar. Streamonator though, moving forward.
Pablo Lopez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.92. This was a battle of the Twins vs. one of the other teams in the division, who is not the Guards, so, of course, it was a cake walk.
Ryan Jeffers – 1-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 9th homer, and his 4th homer in four games, hitting .291. Holy hot schmotatoes, Batman!
Carlos Correa – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 13th homer, hitting .224. You think he’s having a terrible year? Imagine if he did sign with the Mets.
