Please see our player page for Connor Joe to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

OHHHHHHH we’re halfway there! Welcome to your weekly Razzball injury report, friends. It is the halfway point of the 2022 MLB season. The All-Star game offered a reprieve to the broken bodies along this trail. In 2022 thus far, players have been most widely afflicted by COVID-19 (both precautionary and illness-related), shoulder injuries, and elbow […]

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Yeah, I understand that this makes it seem like that Connor Joe has Connor Joe-like eyes, which if you remove the low-hanging pun, is what the title amounts to. But I submit that this is still technically true since if someone is going to have Connor Joe like eyes, it’ll be Connor Joe. I rest my case. But since I have to have a bit more content than a title and a sentence, I guess I’ll start a new case. And no, I have no clue why I’m continuing the judicial metaphor, but the question has standing. While Connor Joe started hot-hot-hot, much of his production thus far has been quite pedestrian. As someone who’s allergic to cardio, I have nothing against pedestrians, but with Joe going as a top-50 (even higher) outfielder before the season started, I’d think everyone would like to see a bit more than five homeruns and 14 RBIs with a third of the season already in the rear-view mirror. So where did he go? Let’s find out, search party for Connor Joe!

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To try to appeal more to teenage boys, the Rangers should install a giant lotion bottle in center field, and each time Marcus Semien homers, it explodes with lotion onto the fans in the bleachers. Yesterday, there would be a lot of facials from Semien, as he went 7-for-8, 4 runs, 3 RBIs and a triple slam (4, 5, 6) and double legs (9, 10). Halleberrylujah. That might actually be the single greatest day ever. Could Semien be coming out of his early-season funk like Jason Biggs once came out of a tube sock? Okay, those other words were likely avoidable. Is Semien about to explode? Again, avoidable! Is Semien about to explode in a good way in all his glory, whole and pulsating. Okay, more very avoidable words! Here’s what I thought on our Youtube channel. Click that and click subscribe so I can feed my children (Ted, a dog).

Before you say, this rooster, Grey, is caca-cuckoo crazy. Entering yesterday’s games, he had an expected batting average of .201, and one of the worst exit velocities in the major. Everything across the board on his page is saying he really was this bad. Not unlucky. Could he turn it all around? Does Marcus Semien sound like a bath towel that you tell your mom you got paste on? Yes and yes! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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At one point, the Brewers’ color man, Bill Schroeder said, “Looks effortless, doesn’t it?” And no truer thing has been said. The next closest truest thing is when I said, “It would almost be worth being on death row for a crime you didn’t commit, just to have your life VO’d by Dateline’s Keith Morrison.” Brewers’ pitching coaches make everyone better — they turned Eric Lauer into 1986 Roger Clemens — but when they have something to work with, like Corbin Burnes (6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 1.75)? Well, then the entire enterprise is firing on all cylinders. Just an absolute joy to watch. Sure, I don’t draft top starters, but I appreciate them just the same. 26 swings and misses, best of the season. Unfair cutters? Oh, he had some of those. Filthy curves? He threw some of those too. Elevated 97 MPH fastballs? Yeah, there were those too. Didn’t really understand in the preseason when people were drafting starters high, but even more confounding were the people drafting starters before Burnes. He is the best starter in baseball. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We are officially 11 days, 22 hours and 37 minutes into the regular season.  Is that accurate?  No, but we should not be counting days or stats at this point in the season.  There are early season upstarts like Steven Kwan and Owen Miller and slow starters like Marcus Semien and Bryce Harper.  To really assess potential at this point in the season we have to look at playing time behaviors and the early indications of who has a full time job and who is actually going be a platoon player (looking at you Jo Adell).  For this week we are going to look at some hitter profiles and what we should think for rest of the season potential.  So hold on and let us dig in!

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH.)

You ever call up the Utz Potato Chip corporate office and ask to speak with that “cute chick on the bags?” You ever poke your right eye out and tell your friends to call you Natty Boh? You ever walk around a deserted park with a group of tourists showing them where Adnan Syed allegedly buried Hae Lee? You ever sell crack in Hamsterdam? No? What kind of Marylandian are you? Do you even have charm to fill a city, bro? You never ate a sandwich cookie and called it a Baltim-oreo? Never?! Dude, I don’t even know you. No wonder why you don’t already have Jorge Mateo on your team! So, somehow in last week’s Buy, when I was telling you about a ton of shortstops to look for on your waivers, I forgot our old stand-buy, Jorge Mateo. Apologies, but now’s when we make it right. Mateo had a year in the minors when he went 7/49. Sure it was ancient years ago, and he’s been in the minors for over a decade, but he’s still only 27 years old, and he still has just about the fastest sprint speed in the majors. He can steal 40+ bags this year. Will he get on base enough for that? P to the erhaps, but he also has 10+ homer power. He’s basically Myles Straw, but with middle infield eligibility. I’d suck that old Buy up for a dollar (and dribble it back out on some lovely crab cakes)! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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Does it make you cry when you make the wrong choice for your fantasy team? Have you considered just being better? That’s the Steven Kwan method and its been working out pretty well for him (and his fantasy managers) so far. As Grey and B_Don so astutely brought up on the podcast, Kwan is a Michael Brantley type player. He won’t blow you away with power or speed, but he makes contact at a rate that we really don’t see that often in today’s game. That also makes him a points league hero. I told you to grab him last week and he’s been the real deal. I can’t take all the credit of course, RazzballHQ has has had his bronze bust up for months. He finally struck out today, so now is your chance to buy. All kidding aside, there will be a rough patch as pitchers and catchers get more tape on him, but he will be a guy you want  on your roster. His performance has been so awesome that his AL Rookie of the Year odds have shifted to +600 (third best) all the way up from +5000. If your league still hasn’t caught on to what he’s doing, scoop him ASAP. If he’s already on a roster, take a peek at the guys below who have gotten off to a strong start.

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Look, I understand that Connor-eyed Joe makes no sense, but if you came to one of my posts looking for sense, boy do I have some parentheses to sell you. (Hint, I like parentheses.) But yes, I’d like to imagine that something akin to the phrase above was going through Blake Treinen’s head in his first appearance on opening day when he gave up a game-defining homerun to one previously mentioned Connor Joe. And while there isn’t quite too much stock that can be put into what is now just 0.03% of the season completed, it’s not like we can’t dream on just a handful of games. I mean, the Padres are 4-1, that’ll totally last, right? (*Cries into alcoholic beverages. All of them.) But back to Joe, it’s no secret that the Rockies outfield is a bit crowded with Grichuk, Blackmon, Bryant, Hilliard and Daza. Combined that with the fact that Connor’s development and pedigree has been more of a slow-burn (with the majority of games in the minor leagues), but he’s always had a keen sense of the plate, sustaining strong career marks in both BB% and K% along with a bit of pop. And not for nothing, but his 19 plate appearances so far are tied with Bryant, and already more than the rest of his OF peers, something to keep an eye on. Connor-eyed perhaps? Feels so good!

Join me after the jump for some more random facts, hot takes, and other robust ruminations (classy content folks) on the Kwan, Jo Adell morphing into Pedro Cerrano from Major League and how long Kyle Farmer will keep plowing the field. Is it just me, or does that sound sexual? And is it just me, or does plowing the field not really equate to hitting well? Eff it, we’ve typed this far…

Please, blog, may I have some more?