LOGIN

Please see our player page for Connor Joe to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

Rockies’ manager Bud Black was one of the best pitching coaches. It is such the Rockies’ move that they hired him to coach in Colorado. It’s like everything the Rockies do needs to be sent through the “Make Sense Of This Stupidity” Generator. Here, I’ll show you: “Make Sense Of This Stupidity” Generator make sense of hiring Bud Black. “That’s easy, Grey, the Rockies figured he could coach up their pitchers from a 4.75 ERA collectively to a 4.65 ERA, and win one more game.” Brilliant stuff! Hey, “Make Sense Of This Stupidity” Generator, what about the Kris Bryant signing? “Make Sense Of This Stupidity” Generator, you shouldn’t smoke it’s bad for your health–Oh crap! It’s overheating. Someone call for help! So, without the “Make Sense Of This Stupidity” Generator, we’re going to have to figure out Hunter Goodman‘s call-up on our own. Will he play? He absolutely should. I’m interested in all leagues because: 34 HRs in the minors this year at 23 years of age, and he hit .371 in Triple-A (only 15 games), but he makes solid contact for a power hitter. A power hitter in Coors! Sign me up! The only question left is it a coincidence that when Goodrum went to AA, we got back a Goodman? Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Can you believe I’m already here talking about September callups? This year flew by. They say the older you get the quicker the years feel. For unstints, every week feels like a year for Masyn Winn at 21 years of age. For me, every year feels like a week. Last week was 2078, and we just discovered that people who like cilantro are aliens. Don’t challenge me on this, I studied the calendar in college. Sorry if you’re one of those that likes cilantro, it is an acquired taste — acquired by aliens. Call your doctor; you have green blood. So, Masyn Winn is almost guaranteed to start next year with the club, that means he will get an offseason rookie outlook post from me and the only question is: Him, Jackson Holliday or a third unknown rookie as the top fantasy rookie for next year? You’ll have to wait until October for that big reveal. You can hardly wait! No, you! For all rookies, it doesn’t hurt to call them up in September to give them a little taste. An amuse bouche of baseball! Masyn Winn is more than ready. He’s about to be a 20/20 guy in Triple-A at the aforementioned 21 years of age. Him or Tatis next year? Okay, still Fun The Jewels, but you see where my hype is going. For this year, I’d grab Winn in all leagues for the inevitable September call-up. Oh, and I know he has a glute issue right now; don’t be a pain in the ass. He’s fine, and will be spectacular soon with the Cards. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This year is hilarious! This year is like Opposite World! George Constanza would’ve done so well with pitching this year! Gavin Williams, who sounds like the actor who played Potsie (I’m old!) and had a 7.8 K/9 and 4.4 BB/9, goes against the 5th best team for average, 22nd worst team for strikeouts, 2nd best team for hits, and throws an absolute gem — 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.90. Of course, Potsie was supposed to be better than he had showed so far in the majors, but no one was expecting him to have an outing like that! G. Will-ikers! Gavin a (P)Jays Party! It’s square as eff Monday here at Razzball! I’m talking about Potsie and freakin’ pajamas! So, as I alluded to earlier, Gavin Williams was supposed to be good. This might’ve been a wink-wink, nudge-nudge for Gavin Williams 2024 fantasy. For this year? He’s still inducing weak contact, even if the Ks haven’t been there before last night, as his ERA attests. I had them Bibee, Allen then Gavin, but Potsie’s easily jumped Allen, if he’s throwing for strikeouts now. Anyway. here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Anything you can do I can do better,
I can do anything better than you.

No, you can’t. Yes, I can.” Sang Christian Walker (3-for-5, 3 runs, 5 RBIs) as he had a double slam (19, 20) and legs (7). On Christian solder! *blowtorches a piece of metal*

“Anything you can do I can do better,
I can do anything better than you.

No, you can’t. Yes, I can.” Sang Austin Riley (3-for-5, 3 runs, 7 RBIs) as he hit hit his 17th and 18th homer.

“You’re supposed to wait for me to reply ‘Yes, I can’ after you say ‘No, you can’t.”

“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.” Sang Orlando Arcia (2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs) who hit his 8th homer. Next year, Christian Walker will once again be underrated, as he’s currently above Vlad Jr., Riley and others on the Player Rater, and others who went way before him, and I imagine will again in 2024. “No, they won’t.” Yes, they will! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)

I can search the site for old comments. It’s my superpower. Well, that and being able to tell if a sushi restaurant is good just from their spicy tuna roll. Okay, I also have the superpower: Being able to add three syllables to any Spanish name. Fine! I can also avoid any fight with my wife by saying, “You’re right.” That’s perhaps my strongest superpower. But, back to searching old comments, I will save people the embarrassment but here’s one from the end of last April:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A.J. Smith-Shawver was called up yesterday. A.J. Smith-Shawver began pitching in 2020. You watched Tiger King; A.J. Smith-Shawver developed a 96 MPH fastball. You stuck a cotton swab up your nose; A.J. Smith-Shawver perfected an 88 MPH slider. You wiped down groceries from Door Dash; A.J. Smith-Shawver learned how to throw a 85 MPH change. You are not the same. He’s 20 years old! Wanna feel old? He graduated high school in 2021. Wanna feel dumb? You went to college; he went to the majors! This is why I love the Braves. They’re not afraid of promoting prospects. Take note, Reds! A.J. Smith-Shawver looks like he could surprise in the majors, like Spencer Strider did last year. Too much pressure for a prospect? Please. A.J. Smith-Shawver went up four levels this year. What do I have to show for the last two months? A bunion? A.J. Smith-Shawver is the Doogie Howser of MLB. Stop overachieving, you’re making me feel bad! By the way, if the Braves get Max Fried back, their rotation will include Jew, Jew, Smith-Shuster. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Ding Dong ain’t got shizz on me!” That’s a famous quote from Denzel Washington after my autocorrect gets done with it. See, my autocorrect keeps changing Nick Senzel to Nick Denzel, and I’ve tired of ducking changing it. I called AppleCare and asked them how to change my autocorrect settings to “Not stupid” and they laughed, then, when they were done laughing, I asked again and they said, “Oh, you’re serious?” Ding Dong ain’t got shizz on me with how serious I am! No, this isn’t the star of Antone Disher, and it’s Antwone Fisher! This isn’t Robbin Carter, and it’s Ruben Carter! The Boner Collector? Why does my autocorrect even know that word?! I’ve never in my life typed such a thing! So, Nick Senzel aka Nick Denzel was once a top prospect. That ship sailed so long ago it’s reached its destination already at: Port U-A-Bust. He’s sipping Mai Tais with Garrett Hampson and Bubba Starling, but the DJ just announced there’s one final dance, because he’s playing Last Dance by Donna Summer, not Michael Jordan’s The Last Dance, and Senzel is the only one going to the dance floor to move his hips. Hopefully, he doesn’t hurt himself! He is capable of a nice combo of power and speed and never struck out much, so he could hit .280. Can he stay on the field? I have my doubts, but I could see adding him in all leagues. He is after all a two-time Oskar winner. Damn it, autocorrect! Oscar is the more common spelling! Why would you change that? Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I usually like to start with something like, it’s been a wild, unpredictable season in the outfield thus far! But when you look closely – and see Ronald Acuna, Randy Arozarena, Adolis Garcia and Mike Trout in the top four – nothing strikes you as particularly unbelievable. As you work your way down in the […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Just like when a Jewish kid turns 13 and they become a man or woman, and have their Bar Mitzvah or when a hitter breaks out and they have a Star Mitzvah, the same can be said of a team. A team becomes a Man Team when they decide they’re too good for Adam Frazier. That’s what happened yesterday for the Orioles. They looked at their team, and they said, we’re a Man Team, we need a Man 2nd baseman. (Though, they just moved Adam Frazier to right field yesterday; Santander to DH and Gunnar to the bench, but let’s hope they didn’t decide to become a Man Team without Gunnar.) To be a Man Team, they called up Joey Ortiz to be their new Man 2nd baseman. Itch’s said, “(Ortiz is) probably my favorite player in this system at the moment in terms of value to our game versus perceived value across the lists I’ve seen. Ortiz is a plus defender at 5’11” 175 lbs and could come on so quickly that the club has to promote him early in the season. He finished 2022 with an excellent 26-game stretch in Triple-A (.346/.400.567) and doesn’t have much more to learn in the minors. If he hits as well as my fist against Grey’s head, then sign me up!” What even? Ortiz looks like a 15/15/.280 hitter if he has an everyday job. It’s time, O’s. Man up! By the way, if you leave a sandwich out for 13 years, it becomes a Manwich. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to another week of Ambulance Chasers, your Razzball fantasy baseball injuries report! This had some notable non-player injuries and that was the Oakland A’s fans (at least some of them). While the idea of a move has been brewing for a long time, it was announced that the A’s seem to intend on moving […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s a large contingent of people logging on, who are like, so you like Fernando Tatis Jr. (0-for-5) now? I see, so you like cheaters? Let’s call these people, The Moralists. They’ve never done anything bad in their life. Good for them. Better than me, but they’re likely better than everyone. So, hey, The Moralists, I’m sorry, I grew up loving Mark McGwire, you can’t shame me into caring about steroids now. Here’s a conversation between me and The Moralists:

The Moralist, “You see that great player who is very fun?”
“Fernando Tatis Jr.? Yes, I do see him.”
“I don’t like him anymore because he cheated by taking drugs.”
“Oh, so you’re a nerd?!”

People who are like, “So, you’re defending cheating?” I am not Perry Mason. I am merely excited about the return of a guy I drafted in a fantasy baseball league. A guy who is fun. His name is Fun The Jewels for Chrissake! Any hoo! Welcome back, Fun The Jewels, now LFG! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?