Please see our player page for Joey Lucchesi to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

As a Trevor Bauer investor this year I’m tempted to just write: &$*3$*@#& and that’s it. Since Grey was his biggest advocate before the season, I know he’d understand. Stash or Trash: Stash for now. He’s a top-3 Cy Young finalist if not for this injury and we’re waiting for more news. That dastardly Jose Abreu lined a pitch of Bauer’s ankle in their game on Saturday. A stress fracture often occurs due to repeated compressive force on a bone (often in the leg, foot or ankle.) This type of injury is common in frequent runners. Bauer’s was obviously caused by the velocity of Abreu’s line drive hitting at just the right spot. Here’s the bad news: the typical healing time for a stress fracture in your fibula is 6 weeks. However, everyone is different — some can need more time or less — it’s hard to predict really. I’m labeling Bauer a stash until we find out more. If we find out tomorrow that it isn’t a complete fracture or that he’s got that Adrian Peterson DNA he might be back sooner. Fill In: Tyler Glasnow (19.3%.) Let’s get this easy one pick up out of the way — if you’re in a league where Tyler Glasnow isn’t owned yet you need to remedy this situation. Glasnow is now back to being a starter after going from the Pirates to the Rays. He’s made three starts so far each one inning more than the last. 12 innings pitched total with 20 K’s to only 3 walks and 6 hits allowed? His next start will be his biggest test against the Red Sox. Why haven’t you hit CTRL-T yet?! 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Michael Conforto is a Buy.  A Mets hitter.  Long pause.  Hearing Dominick the Donkey on the radio.  Realizing that pause was until Christmas.  “Hey, chingedy ching, hee haw, hee haw.  It’s Conforto, the fantasy baseball Buy donkey.  The Italian Christmas Fantasy Baseball Buy Donkey.  He plays for the Mets and you know what this means?  The label on the inside of his uni says they’re made in Queens.”  In the beginning of the season, Conforto looked like he was working with three-quarters of his ability.  So, who’s he, Confor?  Julius Caesar never came, saw and Confor’d, right?  The lawyers didn’t Confor with the judge before sentencing Conforto to three months of terrible hitting.  Confor the lousy hitting, stay for the fear of success?  Yes, but no.  What I think we’re going to hear this offseason is Conforto is going to say the first few months of the season, his shoulder was still bothering him, but, by the 2nd half, that started to ease.  On our last 7 day Player Rater, Conforto is top 15, and could be in store for a solid 2nd half if his injury is finally healed.  Now get the Italian Christmas Fantasy Baseball Buy Donkey!  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I wanna geek out for a second.  You with me?  Orf course you are, because I say “Orf course” and you’re still reading!  Entering yesterday’s game Anthony Rendon (3-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 14th and 15th homer, hitting .285) was 19th overall for 3rd basemen on the Player Rater, in a virtual tie with Miguel Andujar and Ryon Healy and right behind Derek Dietrich.  Hey, over-the-internet friend, that’s awful.  Third basemen are not exactly stacked like hamburgers at IHOB either.  There’s seven top tier ones ($17+).  For context, there’s ten elite shortstops.  There’s 16 shortstops at $11+, and only eleven 3rd basemen.  I don’t think you heard me, Derek Dietrich has been more valuable than Rendon so far this year, or sofa if you’re reading in a furniture store.  Rendon already spent the 1st half taking the craps out, so, yo, I think he can roll up to 7 at the position by season’s end.  The route he’s taken has definitely been the hard way.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Was thinking about this the other day.  Bear with me, it’s not fully formed (like the rest of this shizz).  Is there a higher upside move than becoming a magician?  David Blaine scored, Penn & Teller seemed to have done all right for themselves, Siegfried & Roy did fine until that white cat went ape…But how about all of the 18-year-old’s who are like, “Mom, Dad, I’m declining the full ride to Brown.  I want to do this…” *pulls sheet off table to reveal their daughter sawed in half*  “Oh, crap.  Marci?”  The world is littered with failed magicians!  You want upside?  There’s no greater upside call than deciding you want to be a magician for the rest of your life.  The Indians team?  They’re all freakin’ magicians!  Hey, Jose Ramirez (2-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 26th and 27th homer), you’re David Blaine!  Francisco Lindor (1-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 25th homer)?  You’re David Blaine!   Michael Brantley (2-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs)?  You’re David Blaine!  You’re all David Blaine!  We even have some David Blaine magic for Jason Kipnis (2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer, and 2nd homer in the last three games).  If you went Francisco Lindor and Jose Ramirez with your 1st two picks, you’re also a magician, according to the Fantasy Baseball Player Rater.  (The other way to look at this theory is only a handful of knuckleheads are actually stupid enough to want to be a magician, and the world is not littered with failed magicians and no one is turning down a free ride to an Ivy League school to become a magician, but we don’t talk about this part of the Upside Magician Theory.)  Thank you, Jose Ramirez and Francisco Lindor and all the Indians, I believe your magic is real.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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This weekend, I was kneeling in a garden, tending to my Monkey Face Orchid, when I heard some commotion outside my greenhouse.  It was my much, much older wife, Cougs, screaming, “Grey!  They’ve come for you.”  It was the Rockies, and they were trying to send me to the minors.  They trampled over my azaleas with their jackboots, dragging me through the soil, ruining my suspenders.  I tried to tell them, “You have the wrong man!”  Finally, they heard my pleas and checked my state ID card.  Before they left, I asked, “Who are you looking to send to the minors?”  They replied, “Jon Gray,” and I began to scream again, “Please!  Take me instead!”  So, Jon Gray was optioned to the minors.  Can’t say I fully blame the Rockies, but, of course, I can try.  Have the Rockies heard of underlying peripherals?  Sure, the results have been miserable, but it’s Coors and everything says Gray should be much better.  You really have a better replacement pitcher who is worth ruining your best pitcher’s confidence?  He has the 6th best xFIP in the league with an 11.6 K/9.  I honestly can’t even with the Rockies.  They are the worst.  Then, they brought up Raimel Tapia to fill the roster spot, so, of course, Tapia will sit on the bench.  WHAT THE HOLY EFF ARE THE ROCKIES DOING?!  Caps for emphasis and the hyperopic.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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I was combing through pictures on the subreddit r/WaffleHouseHotcakesShapedLikePresidents, marveling at a hotcake shaped like Harry S. Truman — did you know the S stood for Syrup?  Then I clicked on the Reddit user who posted that pic, Ididyourmomssomanytimes, to see what other things besides Truman hotcakes they were interested in, and I saw they were also on r/fantasybaseball, only this was fantasy as in D&D and Cecil Cooper was a wizard and the father of the little black kid in Stranger Things.  Any hoo!  If I were on the real fantasy baseball subreddit, I’d find a lot of talk about Kyle Tucker, this you can be sure of, said like Gordon Ramsay.  Tucker is already stashed by Prospector Ralph in my RCL — that *ucker!  Why the hype?  Pardon me as I sprinkle chia seeds on your brain.  He’s hitting .315 in Triple-A with 12 HRs, 13 SBs and he’s only 21 years old.  Kinda unfair that the Astros have this waiting in the wings, but, since they do, you know they will not wait very long to come him up, since (two since’s one sentence, grammar!) they are playing to win it all.  So, what are you waiting for to grab Tucker?  Cecil Cooper’s put a spell on your arms?  Aw, shucks.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

At least they weren’t no-hit, that’s what I always say.  Then I follow it with #getstrapped or whatever 50 Cent says now.  This is not going to be out on a limb or anything, but celebrities were better when we had no idea what they were thinking.  Imagine Liberace on Twitter in the 1950’s, “YAASSS girl, I am here for this, sippin’ my tea.”  Yo, Liberace, sure YAASSS Girl’s a lot for a guy who was quoted in the Confidential as saying, “Mature Women Are Best: TV’s Top Pianist Reveals What Kind of Woman He’d Marry.”  Maybe that would’ve been awesome.  I don’t know, I’m not a time traveler.  However, if I were, I would’ve made sure everyone read my Blake Snell sleeper (segue, snitches!).  (Isn’t it weird present and past tense read are the same?  Am I the only one that never guesses right?  Any hoo!)  Tis true that I didn’t even expect Snell to be this dominant.  Yesterday, he went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 4 walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.31.  He has the 7th best ERA, 19th best strikeout rate (10), 30th best xFIP (3.64), 13th best swinging strike rate (13) and 8th worst contact rates (71.2%).  Super shorthand, if you’re throwing pitches and hitters are not making contact, you’re doing exactly what you should be doing.  Hard to imagine his ERA staying quite that low all year, but he has made the jump to a top 15 starter, and maybe higher.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I was feeling reflective yesterday, so I turned to the mirror and said, I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste–Mirror, “Please don’t sing that song.”–Pajamas, a hairbrush–“Please stop, please.”–New shoes, and a case!  I said to my reflection, where in my rankings did Jose Ramirez place?!–“NO MORE!”  I’d figured you’d like that song.  “No.”  You’ve heard it before?  “Shut up.”  Whoa, grumpy mirror.  Yet another great day from Jose Ramirez (1-for-2, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (22) and legs (10), hitting .291) is what brought about my reflection.  Through a 75-second detour through that website that puts everyone’s rankings together, I found out the person who ranked Jose Ramirez the highest last year ranked him 13th overall.  Then I looked at where I ranked him — jackpot in my ass! — I ranked him 13th overall.  I was the highest on Jo-Ram.  By the by, someone ranked Jo-Ram around 130th overall.  That person should quit this fake business.  Bonus if it’s Clara Bell.  In my rankings, I even said I wanted to rank Ramirez 12th, but wanted to separate Lindor and him.  Sadly, I didn’t draft Jo-Ram anywhere, because I drafted Lindor everywhere, and, by the time the draft came back to me, Jo-Ram was gone.  This was a fun trip down memory lane.  Unlike when Memory Lane intersects with Cody Bellinger.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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This is Rich Hill’s second DL stint of the year already. What were you expecting? Now he’s asking the MLB to allow him to pitch with tape on his finger. He’s also asking around the Dodgers locker room if anyone will pee on his hands. I’d be surprised if either side said yes. Stash or Trash: Sure go ahead stash him — just don’t set up a Google alert for his name or your phone will literally explode with weekly injury updates. He’s going to miss a month this time. Trash in shallow leagues. Fill In: Vince Velasquez (22.8%.) VV is someone who we’ve all been tempted by due to his 10+ K/9 potential. However, that came with a BB/9 over 4 and a HR/9 close to 2 most of his career. He’s been limiting his walks so far this year though — he’s only allowed more than two walks once. He’ll always be prone to getting blown up like his 4 IP/6 ER start against the Braves or his 4.2 IP/4 ER start against the Diamondbacks at the end of April, but if he can limit the walks and keep the ball in the yard slightly less against lesser opponents — he could be a solid matchups play.

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Ya know, if you’re gonna get busted for PEDs and be suspended for 80 games, the way to do it is right after fracturing your hand.  It’s like coming down with mono the week of your prom when you have no date.  “Damn, am I gonna miss that?  That is too bad, but I am so drowsy I feel like I have two Forest Whitaker eyes.”  That’s you getting prom-o-mono.  I am more surprised to hear Robinson Cano was busted for PEDs, than I am to learn he had no idea he was taking the illegal substance.  Baseball is currently batting a thousand for denials of PEDs suspensions. MLB players’ denials of taking the illicit substance should get into the Hall of Fame on its first ballot.  Speaking of Hall of Fame, I kinda thought Robinson Cano was headed there.  This will obviously shade a cloud over his entire career, which I do think is a shame.  What’s also a shame, you need to drop him in all leagues.  He’s more or less done for the year.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?