You know when Shin-Soo Choo (2-for-4, 2 runs and his 10th homer) is hitting homers there’s a Dong Party going on.  Dong Party is also my lead single off my album, “Who Let In All These Guys?”  The CD cover had me dressed like a sailor, begrudgingly hoisting a man for a keg stand.  None of this is ringing a bell?  That’s weird, but it did perform better in Asia than here.  Choo hadn’t homered since July 4th and only has 4 homers since May 22nd and is hitting .238.  Can we say bust?  If you can’t, you might want to see a speech therapist.  Also joining the Dong Party was J.P. Arencibia (3-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 7th homer). That Arencibia is one spicy meatball!  You know what one meatball said to another meatball?  What’s up, metaball?  What?  No good?  Okay, I won’t submit it to Highlights.  Arencibia has 4 homers in the last eleven games, and has been known to go on a dong run.  For those of you who just found us today Googling “dong run.”  We won’t judge you here.  Next up, for the Dong Party was Robinson Crusoe.  He’s got a novel idea.  It’s about a shipwrecking.  Quite the yarn!  Chirinos (3-for-5, 3 runs and two homers) has 11 homers on the year, and I’ve enjoyed owning him in a few two-catcher leagues, but he’s hitting .237 and I wouldn’t get too excited, especially not while you’re at a Dong Party.  Finally, arriving at the Dong Party with a homer in the first inning was Adrian Beltre (1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer).  Getting a bangfizzle at a Dong Party is such a bummer.  By the by, Such A Bummer was my follow-up single.  Tell me if you want the Sound Cloud link.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Derek Holland – Was hit hard in his rehab assignment.  His mustache?  Still fine.

Colby Lewis – 9 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, lowering his ERA to 5.50.  Had such an early lead I wouldn’t put too much stock in this.  He had a free room at the W on the Ivictory Coast, and took full Advantage points.

John Danks – 4 2/3 IP, 9 ER.  Rangers hadn’t been hitting at all coming into this game, so, from them, I’ll say Danks for the boost of confidence!

Adam Dunn – 0-for-4 and 1 IP, 1 ER as he pitched an inning of relief.  Too bad he didn’t K anyone, that would’ve been the Big Donkey punch-out.  Position player pitching is the equivalent to a cat playing a piano, and the meat-and-potatoes Dunn was surprisingly deft playing chopsticks.

Jesse Hahn – 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Damn, Hahn got screwed by the Twins.  “That cheating hussy!”  Whoa, easy Jim Bakker!

Yangervis Solarte – 2-for-5, hitting .296 on the Padres.  He cooled off a bit since he was first traded.  He’s still the best Yangervis in the majors.  Sorry, Yangervis Finestein.

Yonder Alonso – 3-for-4 and his 6th homer.  See, Padre fans, who needs Anthony Rizzo?

Everth Cabrera – 2-for-4.  Looking like he’s finally showing life in his dreadful season.  If he’s out there in your league, I’d definitely give him a look.

Will Venable – 2-for-4.  I know, it’s far from an exciting proposition to be grabbing multiple Padre hitters, but here’s another one that’s hot.  Schmotato, that is.

Kennys Vargas – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer, hitting .333.  Just because no one else is talking about him, don’t let that stop you.  This is a trust exercise, fall into my arms.  Whoa, you’re top heavy!

Phil Hughes – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA down to 4.01.  Nice matchup + Hughes = Los Pollos Hermanos.  Hmm, math’s off there  Was supposed to equal ‘streamable.’

Allen Craig – To the DL with a foot injury.  Okay, that’s my bad.  Mea culpa, guys and four girls.  I’ve lost Zimmerman, Tulo and Hosmer in the matter of two weeks.  I’m a jinx, Craig was bound to get hurt.  It was inevitable!  On a side note, the Razzball Tour is in effect.  Here’s a still I grabbed from the last show.  My question is, did they frame that shot like that so you wouldn’t be sure which ones are the boobs?

Shane Victorino – Having back surgery and is done for the year.  The Flyin’ Hawaiian’s gonna be doing commercials for Life Alert soon.  I’m flyin’ and I can’t get up!

Rubby De La Rosa – 6 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA down to 3.43.  Meh, I’m not trying to be a hater like my son, but I just can’t get behind him.  Stream-o-Nator agrees with me, for what it’s Werth.

Yoenis Cespedes – 3-for-4, 1 run.  This was Yoenis’s first visit to St. Louis since the trading deadline, which is irrelevant since he came from the A’s, but since Allen Craig was out, someone had to receive the Lou birds.

Lance Lynn – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA down to 2.89.  Hmm…I streamed him for this start, but I’m not sure why he was on waivers.  Dah, I’m falling in love with my streamer, who am I?  I’m a rosterbator, get it together, Grey!  *smacks self*  Ow!  That hurt!  You needed it.  You is I, you idiot.  Yay me.

Wilson Ramos – Out on paternity leave.  Will he be in full catcher gear as he gets into a crotch?

Matt ThorntonNats claimed him off of waivers.  This gives them a lefty specialist and veteran presence, i.e., someone to yell, “Lower that damn hip-hoppy music!”

Ryan Zimmerman – Walked on a water treadmill.  That sounds like a prize for the winner of a challenge on Hell’s Kitchen.  Is this water treadmill at Universal Studios?

Gio Gonzalez – 6 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks at home vs. the Mess, ERA up to 4.01.  This should’ve been Shutdown City with a blowout sale on strikeouts.  I want my money back!  I really think you can find a better starter off waivers in most mixed leagues.  This could be the beginning of the end.  Well, depending on how long the end is, this could be the middle of the end.

Zack Wheeler – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 11 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Not beautiful with the WHIP, but WHIP this, his ERA in the 2nd half is 1.73.  Okay, again with an exclamation.  1.73 ERA!

Daniel Murphy – 3-for-4, 1 run, 2 RBIs.  I will draft him in the first round next year to reverse jinx him.  From my mouth to Giancarlo’s ears.

Wade Miley – 4 2/3 IP, 10 ER.  We should have a glossary term for pitcher that gets hit so bad that it kills your entire week in H2H leagues.  Please suggest in the comments.

Danny Duffy – 5 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA down to 2.39.  Chuck him into the same Trapper Keeper as Rubby.  Looks okay on the surface, but that’s superficial and we all know we’re gentlemen (and four ladies) that prefer a good personality and a pitcher not getting by on luck.

Salvador Perez – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 13th homer.  San Salvador, the Patron Saint of Abuelitas, is having a decent enough season, but if you own him and have an erection for longer than four hours, I’d see a doctor.

Norichika Aoki – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer.  I’ve had him for the majority of the season, and it’s been painful.  So, yesterday, I benched him as he hit his first homer all year — a grand slam.  Sonavabench!

Billy Butler – 4-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer.  Royals haven’t missed a beat since Hosmer went to the DL.  Mostly because Butler doesn’t eat vegetables, and especially not beets.

Carlos Gonzalez – Sat out again on Tuesday, but did pinch hit.  He says he’ll avoid the DL; he didn’t say if he’ll just sit out for 15 days without an actual DL stint.

Brett Anderson – Headed to the DL with back spasms.  On the bright side, it’s between him and Shia LaDouche for The Boy in the Bubble remake.

Troy Tulowitzki – Hasn’t resumed baseball activities.  Hold on, Shia and Brett Anderson!  Tulo got a callback!

Nolan Arenado – 3-for-5 and his 10th homer.  He was lifted for a baserunner, and I had a case of DLzebub whispering bad thoughts in my ear.  Figure on the Rockies, he had to be injured, but I didn’t see any news on it.  I won’t be at peace until he plays again.

Javier Baez – 1-for-6 and his first homer.  He’s the bee’s knees and the pussy’s whiskers!  Only needed three strikeouts and 12 innings until he connected.  He might just be a Donkey middle infielder — high Ks and power — but Baez is MI Donkey!

Sam Fuld – 1-for-4 and his 16th steal and his third steal in the last two games.  SAGNOFuld!

Josh Reddick – 2-for-3, 1 RBI.  I don’t want to be too pushy or for you to take this the wrong way or hurt your feelings, but you’re moving too slow grabbing Reddick.

Jason Hammel – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 11 baserunners, 2 Ks, as he tied his owners to the WHIPping post.  Far from an excellent start or eggcellent if Mr. Burns is reading, but at least he didn’t get shelled — pun point!

Matt Garza – Hit the DL with an oblique injury.  He said it hurts on his, um, well, whatchamacallit…Dah, it’s oblique!  Marco Estrada will replace him for the Brewers, here’s hoping you have better options.

Gerardo Parra – 1-for-4 and his 7th homer as he started over Khris Davis.  Terrific.  I will now dress up like a giant chicken and walk into a wolf den.

Carlos Gomez – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 16th homer.  He’s cooled off dramatically.  No, that doesn’t mean he histrionically put a handkerchief to his forehead while someone fanned him.  I mean he had 11 homers thru the end of May, and not that much since.  Hopefully, this is a sign he’s coming out of it.

Jimmy Nelson – 7 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.20, which is appropriate since he was facing Tim Lincecum (6 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks).  Nelson has three straight barely Quality Starts, and doesn’t look like he has his big boy pants on yet.  Maybe when he goes by James.

Alex Wood – 6 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks, but there were three unearned runs too.  Ticker shock!

Andrelton Simmons – Left the game after hurting his ankle.  He tried to fix the injury by touching it with his glowing finger, but no dice.  Get him some Reese’s Pieces!

Emilio Bonifacio – 1-for-4 and his 16th steal.  He hit leadoff, but the Braves lost so Fredi Gonzalez in his infinitesimal wisdom will probably think that means B.J. should be hitting leadoff again.

Felix Hernandez – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, lowering his ERA to 1.97.  Actually expected a much better start from F-Her against the Braves.  I mean, they average eight Ks after one time through the order.

Clayton Kershaw – 7 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Yuck!  The Dodgers should trade him for Adam Dunn.  That man knows how to pitch!

Juan Uribe – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer.  I’m not sure if it’s confirmation bias or not or even what that term means, but if Uribe hits one homer, he hits another within a few days.

Albert Pujols – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 21st homer.  I was just thinking yesterday that if he’s going to get to 32 homers as I hope, he’ll need to start hitting homers soon.  Now, I’m not saying I had anything to do with his homer, but just in case — hit two more homers today, Pujols, thank you.

Brett Lawrie – Returned from the DL yesterday and left that game with back tightness.  Somebody’s upping their injury-proneness!  Next, he’s going to get hurt just hearing he’s no longer hurt.  I can’t wait!

Colby Rasmus – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 15th homer.  Is it me or do you get Colby Rasmus confused with just about every outfielder on waivers?

Mark Buehrle – 4 IP, 4 ER.  Who sells their soul for a good ERA until only the All-Star break?  You sold your soul short, Buehrle.

Caleb Joseph – 1-for-5 and his 6th homer, and his third straight game with a homer.  Whoa, one of the most random hot schmotatoes all year.  Father Caleb Joseph has catcher eligibility and must’ve caught something from early hitting sensation Steve Pearce.

Chris Davis – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer, raising his average to .196.  “I could’ve done that instead all year.”  Fair enough, Prince Fielder.

Jonathan Schoop – 2-for-4 and a slam (9) and legs (1).  Nothing to see here.  Need to keep some 2015 sleepers to ourselves.

Nick Markakis – 2-for-5, 1 run.  Hot schmotato alert!

Nyjer Morgan – Indians cut him.  He’s gonna have to retire Tony Plush because having an alter ego where you say whatever you please isn’t as attractive if you don’t have an audience.  Thank God for you people!

Josh Tomlin – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER.  If I would’ve streamed you, Tomlin, this wouldn’t have been funny.  Not Laugh-In, at all.

Jay Bruce – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer.  Bruceus, Mary and Joseph Lawrence aka Joey, please get hot.  Please.

Kris Negron – 2-for-5, 1 run, 2 RBIs.  I wonder if Negron is related to Blackmon.  Nah, prolly not.   Wait!  I know, Negron is probably Cingrani with a splash of Vermouth.

Johnny Cueto – 9 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA down to 2.04.  Not often someone’s ERA in August is lower than my college GPA.  Well done, Cueto, and not well done, College Grey!  College Grey, “But we had some fun times…That I don’t remember.”

Angel Pagan – Now due back on Thursday, after the Giants originally said Tuesday.  Sabean just wants older players.  Even if they’re only two days older.

Jacob Turner – Designated for assignment.  His assignment is to remind the Marlins why they traded Anibal for him.

Pedro Alvarez – Placed on bereavement list.  He’ll be mourning his career.

Gerrit Cole – Hit hard in his rehab start.  Sounds like he’s in game shape!

Andrew McCutchen – Re-diagnosed with a fractured rib.  Turns out my ‘replay diagnosis’ was incorrect the other day when I said it looked like he hurt his oblique.  I’ll forgive myself since the Pirates doctors misdiagnosed him and they actually examined him.  I guess when you say oblique, it can mean just about anything damning.  Andrew McClutchin’ his side still on the DL for at least a month, that’s all that matters.

Charlie Morton – 7 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks.  The Stream-o-Nator called this one, and faintly likes his next start.  Surprised to see that it likes him less so for his next start since it’s vs. the Padres.  SON has its reasons I suppose, or it saw the Hitter-Tron doing something obscene with a screwdriver and just wanted to move on.

Gregory Polanco – 1-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 9th steal.  In 48 games, he has 5 homers and 9 steals.  That’s about 17 HRs and 30 SBs over the course of a season.  Boing!  Unfortch, the Pirates are less turned on and they moved him down to the seven hole.  Hopefully, it’s a short-lived change of scenery.

Brian McCann – 1-for-5 and his 12th homer, hitting .236.  McCann can’t lift his average over .250, but he’s got high hopes.  He’s got high hopes.  He’s got high whatever-happened-to-that-guy-Felix-Pie hopes.

Martin Prado – 2-for-5 and his 1st homer for the Yanks, and 6th on the year.  Hey, it’s my least favorite Martin, Ray Walston.

Jim JohnsonTigers signed him to a minor league deal.  That’s one way to make Joe Nathan look better.  It’s the technique where you go to a bar and find a homely girl standing next to an even homelier girl and then tell your friends, “I’m going for the cute one!”

Torii Hunter – Left yesterday’s game after being hit on the hand.  The X-rays came back clean, but the doctors were taken aback when he filled out the paperwork and wrote 1887 for his DOB.

David Price – 8 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 10 Ks.  Okay, but Nick Franklin went 1-for-3 in Triple-A.  Right, Maddon?!

Victor Martinez – 2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 3rd steal.  They tried to tag him out on the steal, but you have to plunge a silver spike into his heart.

Alex Avila – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer, hitting .220.  Please, there’s two catchers on the Rangers alone ahead of you.

Kyle Kendrick – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Not a bad start, but he’s about as appealing as what his last name sounds like:  the ‘packaging’ of an anatomically correct Ken doll.

Ryan Howard – 2-for-6, 2 RBIs and his 17th homer.  He was 1-for-25 coming into this game.  I had better odds in the Playboy Mansion.  Cust kayin’.

Dallas Keuchel – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA down to 2.89.  Fun fact!  Dallas was born during the series finale of Dallas and J.R. Richard was the resident physician.

George Springer – Could return on Thursday.  He’s been recuperating his quad injury in Quad Cities.  Luckily, he didn’t have a problem with his hand because the only place they can rehab that is Handuras.

655 Comments
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Hondo
Hondo
8 years ago

And at 1:54 before a travelday,Yeffyou says-

” Pardon Us

We are running our servers through some drills and will be unavailable for a bit.

Please check back in about an hour. ”

Stinks like some FFB crap.And football is total crap.

D-mase
D-mase
8 years ago

Now that my dream of Roy Smalley Cuddyer has been crushed…..rest of year….Michael Cuddyer or Asdrubal Cabrera…..appreciate the work

Aubrey Plaza's Pillow
Aubrey Plaza's Pillow
8 years ago

matheny “brain damaged geek alert” yet again, even though rosie is generally terrible when
A. tired
and
B. in tie games
bring him in for the 4th day out of 5. there ya go. matheny never managed at any level pre MLB (i’m not making that up).
also, after k.davis, casilla made braun/lucroy/aramis look pretty stupid.

Andrew
Andrew
8 years ago

Haren perfect through 5. Is he back???

frankgrimes
frankgrimes
8 years ago

Tulowitzki “Something needs to change”
How bout staying healthy for a change asshat

goodfold2
goodfold2
Reply to  frankgrimes
8 years ago

@frankgrimes: i don’t think he has any control over the glasslikeness of his body. watch the video of when he broke 2 (3?) ribs making routine play (last year?). dude won’t be able to walk before he’s 50.

JoeyCrowbarz
JoeyCrowbarz
8 years ago

Rank the following to replace Goldy:

Lind
Napoli
Loney
Holt
C. Johnson
Medica

JoeyCrowbarz
JoeyCrowbarz
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

Thanks mate

SteveNZ
SteveNZ
8 years ago

Sure glad I benched the Panda.

goodfold2
goodfold2
Reply to  SteveNZ
8 years ago

@SteveNZ: that tub stole my save opp.

Montezuma's Revenge... right now
Montezuma's Revenge... right now
8 years ago

somebody ahead of me had higher waiver for dunn. i grabbed sipp just before somebody grabbed herrera. holds/RW/k per 9 league. i probably should’ve grabbed fields before even asking (since i also have qualls), but sipp is 7th inning lately and has great stats too. stick with sipp or go brach/jumbo D/leclure? fields has been owned and dropped three times since early july.

goodfold2
goodfold2
8 years ago

SHOEMAKER! pitcher profile! getting out pitched by near league worst haren ain’t cool dude.

goodfold2
goodfold2
Reply to  goodfold2
8 years ago

@goodfold2: and just how does haren go from droppable in NL only leagues to perfect game against LAA through 5 innings?

nick the dick
nick the dick
8 years ago

Motha effin titty suckin two timing arrieta!!!

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  nick the dick
8 years ago

@nick the dick: throw that on top of the burning pile of gray teheran

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: gamblin man

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: coors always wins

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: it’s fitting for tonights theme that my rosario sits and the rockies go off on my arrieta

tank1
tank1
8 years ago

Looking ahead for next season would you deal Frazier, McGee and Petricka for Goldschmidt? Frazier costs a 25th round pick next year while Goldschmidt costs an 18th round pick. Thanks.

jef with 1 f
jef with 1 f
Reply to  tank1
8 years ago

@tank1: yup

goodfold2
goodfold2
Reply to  jef with 1 f
8 years ago

@jef with 1 f: hell ya, i’ve been making my own goldy deals in last 2 weeks. they’re fun.

AJ
AJ
8 years ago

Pick up Giles with Papelbon clearing waivers today?

jef with 1 f
jef with 1 f
Reply to  AJ
8 years ago

@AJ: I have him on a few teams

AJ
AJ
8 years ago

which one of these offers would be the most fair for Cargo. Bruce/Hill or Bruce/Verlander? and would you want to acquire a non 100% Cargo? thanks

jef with 1 f
jef with 1 f
Reply to  AJ
8 years ago

@AJ: I could see giving up Bruce and hill..but I’m not a cargo fan

nick the dick
nick the dick
8 years ago

No brainer question time…gray and harper for cano and carglass

jef with 1 f
jef with 1 f
Reply to  nick the dick
8 years ago

@nick the dick: Cano

D-mase
D-mase
8 years ago

Roy Cuddyer for A. Cabrera?

jef with 1 f
jef with 1 f
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: I just looked up Roy cuddyer to see if I missed something ha ha

jef with 1 f
jef with 1 f
Reply to  jef with 1 f
8 years ago

@jef with 1 f: Rest Of Year? I guess

jef with 1 f
jef with 1 f
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: Ha me too I was hoping to find one

D-mase
D-mase
Reply to  jef with 1 f
8 years ago

@jef with 1 f: Rest of year: sorry. But if the 1/2 of of Roy Cuddyer was similar to the Smalley version I’d have to pass. Apologize for the lack of clarity: keep up the good work

goodfold2
goodfold2
8 years ago

jesus, if not for duda/harrison i’d be 0-16. good thing polanco/harrison have got all my counting stats.

goodfold2
goodfold2
Reply to  goodfold2
8 years ago

@goodfold2: double shit, AND i’m playing laroche/bautista at same time. those 2 have 15 bases, 3 homers (he just tied me), 6 RBI, 4 runs.

goodfold2
goodfold2
Reply to  goodfold2
8 years ago

@goodfold2: i’m pretty sure in this league i’ve played against like 6 of laroche’s homers. he only has 15 it says on box score, but it seems to be like he has at least 27.

goodfold2
goodfold2
Reply to  goodfold2
8 years ago

@goodfold2: thank you alcantara (and he ain’t done much lately)! it really feels like you’re about to get swept when team blasts you in homers 3-0 in less than 2 hours.

Mose
Mose
8 years ago

Pitcher killing your entire week such as Miley is a “week whacker”

hankg
hankg
8 years ago

In a keeper league I’ve been offered Springer for Polanco. I think their upside is relatively even. However I think Springer may be a better fit for my team this year and in the future as my other OF are A. Jones and B. Hamilton. Should I pull the trigger? Thanks.

jef with 1 f
jef with 1 f
8 years ago

How’s your offense doing…mine is slowly but surely getting better …oddly enough after losing cutch and Goldy…one of the benefits of going heavy on offense ..I lost those two and still have one of the best line ups in my league.

jef with 1 f
jef with 1 f
Reply to  jef with 1 f
8 years ago

@jef with 1 f: thank god Arenado was just a bruised quad..not sure I could survive another one now though

jef with 1 f
jef with 1 f
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: that sucks

jef with 1 f
jef with 1 f
8 years ago

Dong for cargomez…he’s alive!!!!

Fish
Fish
8 years ago

Kzar is Russian for ASS.

By, hey at least he didn’t walk anyone!!!
We shall call this “The Reverse Jackie Bradley Jr.”

Montezuma's Revenge... right now
Montezuma's Revenge... right now
Reply to  Fish
8 years ago

@Fish: Kzar seems pretty close to”czar” a name (i thought) for Russian head of state

Aubrey Plaza's Pillow
Aubrey Plaza's Pillow
8 years ago

we appear to be witnessing hutchison’s 2nd good home start? maybe he’s coming around to what SON says about him . i used to own him early in year, and simply couldn’t believe how horrible he was at home.

Basement Artie
Basement Artie
8 years ago

Hey, check out the Nationals game on TV. Cy Young is pitching! Oh, wait a minute…sorry, it was the Nats announcers talking about Doug Fister.

Basement Artie
Basement Artie
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey:@Grey: They are so awful that its funny. You kind of feel embarrassed for them.

goodfold2
goodfold2
Reply to  Basement Artie
8 years ago

@Basement Artie: when the cardinals played MIL the other day the STL announcer homer said lohse was “one of the best starters in the NL”, and how weird it was that we were hitting him.

jef with 1 f
jef with 1 f
8 years ago

Wet Tail 2 for 2…your my boy blue

AJ
AJ
8 years ago

Being offered Machado for my Tulo, what side you got? thanks

jef with 1 f
jef with 1 f
Reply to  AJ
8 years ago

@AJ: dynasty?..redraft?

AJ
AJ
Reply to  jef with 1 f
8 years ago

@jef with 1 f: redraft

SteveNZ
SteveNZ
8 years ago

Is Arrieta a start in Coors in a 14-teamer?

SteveNZ
SteveNZ
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: Already suffered through Sonny’s start on that team…

jef with 1 f
jef with 1 f
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: same here

Red Barons
Red Barons
8 years ago

Y! 12-team 5×5 roto:
Hudson hit waivers—do I drop Gee, Gio, or Liriano? I’m leaning Gee…

Rob
Rob
8 years ago

Can someone please explain to me why McCutchen isn’t being put on the DL?!?!

Montezuma's Revenge... right now
Montezuma's Revenge... right now
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: i think their guy that fills out this paperwork is the same guy who conveniently kept Braun’s urine at his house for a the weekend instead of taking where it was supposed to go immediately, per his job (cough cough, paid off, cough cough). in this case somebody very rich’s H2H opp this week has mccutchen. also the rich guy is first in waiver order.

Jon
Jon
8 years ago

Would you deal any/all of these SP in a trade for Donaldson or Bautista? (Should anyone be off limits?)

Teheran Cobb Zimm Bailey Porcello

It’s a keep 18 league so all are keepers for me right now.

Who do you prefer between Donaldson or Joey Bats? (position doesn’t matter much because I have Frazier with 1B and 3B eligibility)

Arnie
Arnie
8 years ago

16 team dynasty league i am offered the following :
Goldshmidt plus sano for baez plus bryant plus alex gordon. Am out of contention. Goldscmidts salary is 20 for next season.
Thanks for the great job

tony
tony
8 years ago

also stroman or ventura rest of this season

Whirlaway
Whirlaway
Reply to  tony
8 years ago

@tony: Ventura

tony
tony
8 years ago

reddick or marte?

CatalinaWineMixer
CatalinaWineMixer
8 years ago

Blackmon or Reddick ROS?

Hondo
Hondo
8 years ago

I had to deal with my Dad’s doctor today(some actually still do make home visits) and accidentally left Sonny Gray on the bench.

Is there a term for a reverse Sonovabench?

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Hondo
8 years ago

@Hondo: shit sit

Papajeansegura
Papajeansegura
8 years ago

Segura, Everth, or Alcantara? I have 2 already. which two do you like better?

Game of Throws
Game of Throws
8 years ago

in 10 team H2H I traded:

Strasburg/Doolittle for Kazmir/Kinsler

How’d i do?

Game of Throws
Game of Throws
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: Need Hitting… but ABC is my motto that I stole from you! haha

Bull in a Chinese Restaurant
Bull in a Chinese Restaurant
8 years ago

is hellickson worth anything now? OAK isn’t usually a shitty offense.

Swfcdan
Swfcdan
8 years ago

Freeman for Scherzer or Grienke

or

Adams for Shark

Points league and im getting the bat. Which would you rather do?

Swfcdan
Swfcdan
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: If it has to be Scherzer which do you prefer?

Swfcdan
Swfcdan
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: Thanks, got it done.

Grey, helping the fantasy baseball world one trade at a time.

Swfcdan
Swfcdan
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: You can’t cure poverty or world hunger yet but you can cure fantasy baseball problems which is the next best thing!

nick the dick
nick the dick
8 years ago

And sonny pulls into the shitiness lead!!

jef with 1 f
jef with 1 f
Reply to  nick the dick
8 years ago

@nick the dick: yea I have both of them on one team…killing me right now

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  jef with 1 f
8 years ago

@jef with 1 f: i have both on two teams. Thought i had a nice night lined up with those two and arrieta, yordano and latos going. Right in the shitter….

Swfcdan
Swfcdan
Reply to  nick the dick
8 years ago

@nick the dick: Do Americans usually call the toilet the shitter?

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Swfcdan
8 years ago

@Swfcdan: who said i was American??…. Well yeah I am and we do, depending on what youre using it for. Could be the pisser. You obviously knew what I meant though, assuming I didnt mean they gave it to me right in the rear end.

Swfcdan
Swfcdan
Reply to  nick the dick
8 years ago

@nick the dick: Pisser and shitter, right….I’ll use that terminology next time im with my girlfriend, see what she says. Should be interesting.

goodfold2
goodfold2
Reply to  Swfcdan
8 years ago

@Swfcdan: what do foreigners call it? i’m assuming you have more words than toilet for it.

Swfcdan
Swfcdan
Reply to  goodfold2
8 years ago

@goodfold2: The dumper, bog, loo, wazzer, slasher.

fisher price
fisher price
8 years ago

Gentlemen–

Thanks for the piercing analysis and the scintillating commentary.. .as always.

I’m thinking about trading for Baez; I’m in a 10 team 5×5 league where we keep five each year. I currently am running out:

C S. Perez
1B J. Singleton / Duda / C. Carter
2B Carpenter
3B Machado
SS J. Peralta
Util / OF Stanton / Puig / Polanco / Calhoun / Springer

SP Salazar / Latos / Chen . Keuchel A. Wood / Iwakuma
RP Doolittle / Papelbon / Britton / Cishek

The guy who owns Baez just got hurt via Goldschmidt, so I offered him Carter; he wants a reliever as well and offered back Ryu / Baez for Doolittle / Carter.

If I can swing a trade, I’d keep Baez / Springer / Stanton / Puig / Polanco or Machado… I think?

I appreciate any advice.

Drexel Hill Dragons
Drexel Hill Dragons
8 years ago

Points league pitchers: Pick 2 to roster for the stretch run
Kennedy, Salazar, McCarthy, Worley, Gausman, Beckett

Art Vandelay
Art Vandelay
8 years ago

Random question, but where do you see Polanco going in drafts next year in a standard 12 team 5×5 league?

jef with 1 f
jef with 1 f
Reply to  Art Vandelay
8 years ago

@Art Vandelay: I’d guess maybe 5th or 6th round

Crazy old guy babbling in the corner
Crazy old guy babbling in the corner
8 years ago

Oh great wise one. My lineup is below. Two questions: 1) underperforming, high upside, possibly heating up Billy Butler and Jay Bruce are in FA pool–drop anyone for one of them? 2) Could use another holds guy–drop any of my closers? Mejia, Petricka, Rondon, Casila are still out there if I need a closer again…

Thanks!

Luccroy
Trumbo
Dozier
Reyes
Wright
Ellsbury, eaton, span, carter, cespedes, Calhoun
Springer, Myers (DL)
Kluber, Sale, Bummgarner, Ryu, Zimmerman, Archer, Odorizzi
Papelbon, Janssen, Benoit, Perkins, Cishek, Boxberger

Crazy old guy babbling in the corner
Crazy old guy babbling in the corner
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: 1a) drop carter vice Calhoun? Cool. 2a) which closer to drop? Torn between Benoit (how many saves SD get) and Janssen (seems he hasnt had many clean saves lately)?

Thanks!

goodfold2
goodfold2
8 years ago

should we add cotts around now? wash showing trust in him. leaving him out for 7 outs. once he gets them of course.

goodfold2
goodfold2
Reply to  goodfold2
8 years ago

@goodfold2: nevermind, now we just gotta hope for feliz implosion. get fingers ready (me quoting her)

goodfold2
goodfold2
Reply to  goodfold2
8 years ago

@goodfold2: and of course he gets his only appearance with more than 1 K (2 out of 2 batters today, with previous 5 total K’s in 14.33 innings)

goodfold2
goodfold2
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: I will when i think it looks like he’ll get saves. have few pickups per week in this league i’m talking about. I have him in 20 teamer where we start 7 RP.

hankp
hankp
8 years ago

Rank ROS for a 5×5: CJ Wilson, Paxton, Keuchel, Miley. Thanks!

MarvPesos
Marv
8 years ago

10-tm Keeper H2H cat. (keep only 12 of 24)
Am I crazy to do this trade, or something like it…With McCutchin and Goldy hurt, I need a replacement 1B and OF

My McCutch / Bruce / Wood / Hammel for His Bautista / Cespedes / Richards / Shields ?

nick the dick
nick the dick
8 years ago

Not loving the 4 walks in 3 innings from sonny so far…

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: oh damn i have em both going and was gonna say at least teheran has a lead…then i looked again….and they both gave up more runs

nick the dick
nick the dick
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: nice lil 11+ era so far to start the day

goodfold2
goodfold2
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: teheran has more K’s though.

goodfold2
goodfold2
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: getting 3 K’s and over a 9 ERA is a double insult.

goodfold2
goodfold2
8 years ago

is it just me or do andrus and rios get caught a LOT more than they used to?

goodfold2
goodfold2
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: andrus isn’t. rios sure. damn gray now has a whip of 3. if not for miley’s antics this would be pretty depressing.

hifi
hifi
8 years ago

Tanaka $23 and JHamilton$18 for Kluber $1 in a keeper

Have: Bautista, Jones, Puig, Trumbo, Reddick, Myers (DL) so I can prob afford to deal JHam, and Tanaka is just sucking up a DL spot, where he’ll prob be for a while.

Fungazi
Fungazi
8 years ago

Should Odorizzi be rostered in a 12 team or streamer?

PB&J with a baseball bat
8 years ago

Pick 2 batters to sit the bench tonight:

Rutledge vs Arrieta ($20.8)
Dickerson vs Arrieta ($29.0)
Werth vs Niese ($23.5)
Bruce vs Salazar ($19.5)
JD Mart @ Capuano ($18.8)
Reddick vs Hellickson ($8)
Span vs Niese ($9.5)

I’m thinking its Werth and Martinez sitting tonight but I don’t love the Rockies against Arrieta… and Bruce could be getting hot or just setting me up to for failure.

PB&J with a baseball bat
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: thnks, grey

JMAC
JMAC
8 years ago

H2H OBP Keeper League (Keep 6).

First place, but I have Goldy, Tulo, Cargo, and had zimmerman… Pitching is stronger

Trade Option 1: Arrieta for Zobrist (Good OBP)

Trade Option 2: Arrieta & Lucroy (Good OBP) for Ian Desmond & Perez (Bad OBP)

Which side are you on in the above 2? and which one is the Best deal?

Trade Option 3: Neither and I have a lot of other good options if neither of those are great in your opinion

goodfold2
goodfold2
8 years ago

benched rios and andrus (facing sale, seemed obv), who’s the one bench between these
gordon @ ARI (Tron loves this start)
longo @ OAK
alcantara @ COL (he’s been bad lately)
i do need steals though, and Tron says bench longo.

goodfold2
goodfold2
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: thanks.

mraccoe
mraccoe
8 years ago

Who to start today?

Markakis @ Tor (Hutch)
Stubbs vs ChC (Arrieta)

Thanks as always

Snacks13
Snacks13
8 years ago

Grey,

Is the news about Tanaka playing catch just grandstanding by the Yanks? I don’t want to drop him but you seem to be so convinced he’s done

Crapshoot Kershaw
Crapshoot Kershaw
Reply to  Snacks13
8 years ago

@Snacks13: if you can find anyone who’s ever even HEARD of anybody with that sort of injury coming back the same season (and being good) in which he sustained the injury find that person, report back, and then you might be able to convince maybe one of us that it’s even possible. i’m not being facetious, since everyone i ask hasn’t even heard of it happening before.

John
John
8 years ago

Melancon or Britton ROS? either them over Janssen?

Sky
Sky
8 years ago

We’re both boobs!

Toe Knee Arm Ass
Toe Knee Arm Ass
8 years ago

Does Mauers return have an effect on Vargas’ playing time. The Twins are loaded with dh types. Just seems like to many options for so little room. I don’t see how they can keep playing Parm,Willing and Cola on defense.

Birthday Dinosaur
Birthday Dinosaur
8 years ago

I need a McCutchen replacement. 1 team Roto, HR,RBI,Steals, BB, K AVG. I need HR’s and average most. RBI, Steal and low K helps, BB are useless to me.

Torii Hunter, JD Martinez, Josh Reddick, Josh Harrison, Ozuna, Kris Davis, Chris Carter, Vogt.

I was leaning Hunter until he got hit last night. Quick switch to Reddick or J.D.?

Jason
Jason
8 years ago

currently have zobrist at SS with Revere in the OF. Drop revere, move Zobrist to OF and grab E-Cab? or could grab gyorko…

jim
jim
8 years ago

Would you trade Stroman and Worley for any one of the following: Aramis, Yelich, or Alex Gordon?

jim
jim
Reply to  jim
8 years ago

@jim: Or Stroman and Worley for Porcello?

PinPlayer
PinPlayer
8 years ago

Little late to the pants party!
ERAdicator is Strausburg this year – 1.0 Whip every game, but somehow gives up 3-5 ER’s every time out & kills your ERA for the week.

For Miley, how about a simple, “WhERA-It, bitch!”

Puig's Poutines
Puig's Poutines
8 years ago

grey drop neil walker for arismendy?

John
John
8 years ago

Trying to plan ahead a bit with 2 on DL and bench bat which i never have looking to possibly make 2 trades. Current roster 10 tm h2h….which move benefits me most
Rosters below would be when Edwin comes back
CURRENT – w Edwin on DL
Perez
Cano
Pujols
Desmond
Frazier
Puig Stanton AJones Dickerson Util Bench Baez Span…….Edwin DL
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
1. Trade Cano for Jupton, May see if he wants Dickerson to and upgrade one my arms anyhow…
Perez
-BAEZ——-trust baez?
Pujols
Desmond
Frazier
Puig Stanton AJones JUPTON Util Edwin
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Trade Frazier for Kluber or Hamels, current SP below
Perez
Cano
Pujols
Desmond
-EDWIN
Puig Stanton AJones Dickerson Util Baez

Cueto Lester Kazmir Latos Wood Ventura GCOLE Odorizzi

OR HOLD? Basically if I hold ill try hold bench bat as long as possible til i can trade but deadline is august/17

John
John
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: Liking Second trade little better?

John
John
Reply to  John
8 years ago

@John: Also, if i do upton trade hes interested in 10 tm lg throw in dickerson or span and Janssen to get upton and mcgee

I know its overkill but if it gets deal done and id have to drop one anyhow. Thinking dickerson cause still doesnt play everyday?

John
John
Reply to  John
8 years ago

Which one trade span or dickerson, If i trade frazier for kluber or hamels(preference) i would have to drop one of the two for pablo until edwin comes back. Should i just add dickerson or span in the deal…

dickerson frazier for kluber wayy much but in 10 team and if im dropping why not? I pick up pablo

Crapshoot Kershaw
Crapshoot Kershaw
Reply to  John
8 years ago

@John: nice fancy lines ya got there.

Jack
Jack
8 years ago

MadBum or Lester ROS?

sniff test
sniff test
8 years ago

I need your help sniffing…Reddick or Fuld over either Evereth or A. Jax?

sniff test
sniff test
Reply to  Grey
8 years ago

@Grey: yes sir!

JonnyHammersticks