Don’t be judging my title. I’m always late to the topical title party. I’m lazy! I haven’t seen Straight Outta Compton because I refuse to pay for overpriced tickets to movies that have nothing visually cool to offer. Seeing the clips and Grey talking it up and being in the same room as Cube has made me reflect… When that album broke, I was in the 8th grade and it was the biggest game changer for us since the Beastie Boys and RUN DMC (I group them together because it felt like it was around the same time). I wasn’t a huge hip-hop head, but I had friends that listened to nothing but street poets. Then came NWA and Eazy-E (I say them separately because Eazy’s album dropped a month after Straight Outta Compton and was treated like a companion piece). It was impossible to own one and not the other. Now, I bring this up because this movie reminds me of the first time I heard Eazy Duz It. I was coming back from Carpenteria (its just south of Santa Barbara) with my good buddy and his mom. He asked her if we could play his new tape on the way home. She, being the very open minded lady she was, obliged and sat through that whole album. Damn, I don’t miss my buddy since he turned into a bitch ass when we got older, but his mom was the baddest mom I knew. From Boyz N’ Tha Hood to Eazy-er Said Than Dunn, we would bump this almost as much as SOC. Hey, we were from L.A., it was great to get someone changing the game from our backyard. Now, you might be asking yourself what this has to do with this weeks creeper. Nothing, I just felt like waxing about NWA.

Last week I got the honor of writing the Trash/Treasure post while Magoo went on his sandwich themed vacation. Could we call it a Sandcation? Vacawich? Yeaaaah, those don’t work. Hey, Portmanteauin’ Ain’t Eazy! From that post I’m inspired to switch it up this week as I’ll be going over some of the sexier looking/brand name players under 15% owned and determining if they are worth the add… or not. This partially inspired by all the H2H players chillin around as they try to navigate their playoffs and me trying to give them the most relevant advice I can.

• Greg Bird, 1B (14.9%) – With Tex out this might look like a good option… but it’s not with all his games on the road in pitcher friendly parks. He gets two lefties out of his 6 games, and even though his splits good against they are too small a sample size to invest in. The right-handers he faces are Odorizzi, Archer, and Thor. Let’s wait ’til next week when he goes to Toronto to seriously consider him as a play. CR@P.
• Ben Paulsen, 1B, OF (11.1%) – with three right handers on the hill for the Colorado at home between 9/18-9/20 you have to consider him. I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t mention him. Since Morneau’s return from the DL, they have played in 4 games together and this situation is worth monitoring when they open the home series. 1/2 WEEK CREEP.
• Aaron Hicks, OF (10.7%) – The switch hitting Hicks gets 4 of his 7 games are against lefties this week. In 77 AB’s against southpaws this year he’s hit .338 with 6 dongs. The Hitter-Tron likes him as a $5.5 play and I concur with H to the T-eazy. He should be more universally owned with his speed power combo that has produced a 10/10 season in only 275 AB’s. If this is him turning the corner in his career, he could be a 15/15 play next year. CREEP.
• Domingo Santana, OF (9.5%) – Grey wrote him about this past Friday, I wrote about him a few weeks ago and if this is news to you then welcome to the site. He’s a donkey with no name who gets a full slate at home. Let’s take a stab at that Donkey name for second. Domingo is Sunday which is the Lord’s Day who gave us Jesus. I can work with this. Lordonky? Jesuskey? ROS CREEP.
• Anthony Gose, OF (9.3%) – SAGNOF! SAGNOF! SAGNOF! He’s a lefty facing all righties and is usable for those in need of speed. Nothing too scientific here, just add and pray he gets the green light. ROS CREEP.
• Justin Bour, 1B (6.8%) – The Bour Hunter looks like he ate a Boar. He gets all right-handers this week which is sexy but the arms are not the ones you want to meet in a dark alley. Mad Max, deGrom, Zimm, Stressbird, and the super hot Colon are all passes for me. If you need power I would look elsewhere. CR@P.
• C.J. Cron, 1B (5.6%) – Hey, look, another Grey buy from this past Friday. His opening series against the Mariners are a no go by the Hitter-Tron and I agree. The three-headed animal WalkHerDashi made me go hhhmmmm. Looked at track record and it’s not good vs Felix and Iwakuma. He is better on the road this year and has hit well in Seattle but the matchups are not giving me any promise. If you own him I would play him against Walker and the entire Minnesota series. 1/2 WEEK CREEP.
• Ketel Marte, SS (4.1%) – Great Play, Less Filling, Great Play ,Less Filling….SAGNOF Lite! He gets three at home vs. the Angels (all against righties) to open the week and closes with three at Texas. The Tron really likes the Weaver matchup on Wednesday and Gallardo on Friday. If you need some middle infidel SAGNOF then be the pot and call this Ketel black or don’t be calling the Ketel. Oh, nevermind, I’m not editing that out. CREEP.
• Scooter Gennett, 2B (3.2%) – Any time I get this lefty at hitter friendly home against a slew of right-handers I perk my ears up like a dog. The Lackey, DeScalifini, and Sampson start are loved by HT and with as much data as that bot has to crunch I’m not going to argue. I get it, Scoot is so blah, but if you are dying for a pulse he might be worth the play with very very very limited upside. CR@PPY CREEP.

Top 40 Hitters – Week 24

Another week and another 10 spots shaved off. It seems really pointless to have that many guys be listed if they could be dumped in a week or less. With the playoffs (the real ones, not those awful H2H ones) MLB teams on the outside will start benching people and the teams who have locked it up may start resting guys. There are some brand name players I kept off the list including Albert Pujols, Adrian Gonzalez, Justin Upton and Adam Jones. Sometimes you have to do things a little crazy to win your league. Lets talk about what choices you have to make for the playoffs. Give me as much info about your team and the options available in your comments. We can zero in on what you need. I’m here for you yo’s!