Miami Sixto Machine

I was about to fall off my chair if Sixto Sanchez‘s parents knew when he was born that he would be 6’2″, but it turns out they overshot by two inches. Prolly best. My mind couldn’t have handled that kind of freaky-deaky shizz. So, Sixoh Sanchez was called up–What? We have to call him that now. We can’t perpetuate fake news. Wanna be called Sixto? Then grow two more inches, you big phony! Unless…Oh crap. I just realized something. Every game he starts the score is going to be 6-2. Hopefully in his favor then, I guess. So, Marlins called him up and here’s Prospect Itch’s last words on him, “Sixto Sanchez gives Miami exactly what (Marlins’ front office exec) Denbo wants:  a fastball with enough pace to live atop the zone and a curve change slider off-speed compliment to get hitters chasing down and out. His strikeout numbers haven’t been elite, but everything else has, and he’s always been young for his level. Also, I’d like to level Grey.” What the heck, man?! Prospect Hobbs gave you about 1200 words on Sixto Sanchez in his Cristian Pache fantasy. As for this year, rookie pitchers are tantalizing, and I did grab Sixto, but, honestly, I might drop him before he even pitches. In a short season, a guy like Danny Duffy is likely better than a rookie pitcher, who could be an ace in two years. It is nice to see the Marlins kicking it from the six-fingered Alfonseca to the Sixto’d one. Sixto Sanchez isn’t in this afternoon’s Buy, but could’ve been for the upside flyer. To see who is in the Buy/Sell before it’s released on Razzball, join our Patreon. It’s $5/month, or the price of enough gas to get your lawnmower to run for 12 minutes. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jesus Sanchez – Marlins called up him, as well. Marlins now have two Jesuses, they must be expecting to be underwater soon. Sanchez looks to me like a 27/7/.250 hitter in a full season, and a guy who might get at-bats for the next week. In dynasty leagues, I like Jesus (except Roman dynasty leagues), but for this year, kinda meh until we see him get everyday at-bats.

Seth Lugo – Will spend the rest of the year as a starter. Dot dot dot. When the Mets resume their season, that is. Yesterday’s Mets/Marlins game was banged, which means it was canceled and I banged my head against a wall, and Friday’s game vs. the Yankees is lost too. If what happened with the Reds the other day holds true again, the Mets won’t play until at least Wednesday of next week. What an absolute shizzshow.

Shane Bieber – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 1.11. Seriously, deGrom or Bieber in 2021? Who’s the 1st pitcher off the board? Lance Lynn? Ooh, I like how you’re thinking.

Triston McKenzie – Called up. Yo, Indians have the whole squad laughing at the thought of the coach pointing at who they’re calling up and Plesac and Clevinger trying to walk in front of the pointing finger. Legit funniest crap I’ve seen in a while is Cleveland ignoring that they have two of the best pitchers in baseball. “Can I get you something from the store? Maybe a soda, I see you like that.” “Zach, you’re not supposed to be going to the store.” “Oh, right.” So, McKenzie didn’t pitch in 2019, therefore we need to go back to Prospect Mike for our last blurb on him, “McKenzie has (had?) a plus fastball and curve with decent control, so don’t put me down as a hater, except for Grey. His 2018 was spent in Double-A, where he whiffed 87 batters in 90 innings with a 2.68 ERA.” From what I gather, McKenzie is in the Plesac mode. Great command, which helps avoid disasters, and 8.5 K/9-type strikeout ability. Worth a flyer in deeper leagues, but I didn’t grab him, if that sways you either way.

Cleveland calling up Triston McKenzie while Zach Plesac and Mike Clevinger wash their coaches’ cars pic.twitter.com/dSiWxlUrf0

— Razzball (@Razzball) August 20, 2020

Zack Britton – Hit the IL with a hamstring strain. Britton thanked everyone for their concern, spelling it Thachs, then Thanks then Thacs.

Miguel Andujar – Optioned to the alternate training site. No foolsies, can Andujar and Clint Frazier just go start a new team? If you were to take them, Mountcastle, Lux, and any other rookies artificially being held down, you’d have a team that would make the playoffs. Seriously. Much better than, say, the Pirates or Red Sox.

Gleyber Torres – Headed for an MRI on his hamstring. As frequent commenter, Fred Garvin MP, said, “So all the Yankees important players are getting injured. Nature is healing.”

Luke Voit – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 10th homer. Last year Judge, Giancarlo were out, and Gleyber stepped up. This year, the “Scream Inside Your Heart” Yanks are once again injured, and Voit is now stepping up. Next year, all of them will be terrible and Thairo Estrada will go into strut-mode.

Gio Urshela – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting .256. With all Yankees injured, Urshela is going to be asked to do a lot, and he will answer by being Mike Trout for a month. Don’t ask me how the Yankees do it, but they do.

James Paxton – 5 IP, 3 ER, 1 hit, 4 walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 6.64. Hearing Paxton’s headed for an MRI on his elbow. Ya know, with Paxton, it might be easier to just have him pitch from the MRI lab.

Mike Zunino – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer, 2nd homer in two games and who’s Zunino’ing who?! Whom? Hmm, maybe. By the by, Zunino has hit the Yankees well, and no other team.

Yandy Diaz – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. Fun fact! Statcast labels Yandy’s Launch Angle as, “Flaccid.”

Yadier Molina – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs as he was activated from the IL. In a corresponding move, Matt Wieters, and his .000 average, was placed on the IL with “Do we have to give a reason?” By the way, Keith Law once said Matt Wieters was a surefire Hall of Famer! Damn that never gets old. Good stuff, Klaw.

Adam Wainwright – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.00. During the 1st week of the season, I speculated that older pitchers and ones that won’t throw hard have a better chance of success because they’re just up there pitching vs. trying to overpower people and potentially hurting themselves. I haven’t done the research but maybe there was something to that theory.

Spencer Howard – 3 2/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 6.17 vs. Chase Anderson – 3 2/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 2.79. Okay, what’s with pitchers getting the exact same lousy lines? Is there some kind of joke going on I wasn’t told about?

Teoscar Hernandez – 3-for-7, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 8th homer, hitting .289. Get a lot of people still asking if they should drop Teoscar. Ya know, a guy who is a top 35 overall guy on our Player Rater, and a top 25 hitter.

Lourdes Gurriel Jr. – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer. He hasn’t been exactly lighting it up, but have you ever been to the Buffalo Jays Stadium? Well, unlikely since there’s a global pandemic, but it’s Coors with less people who have ski lift stickers on their jacket zippers. Don’t voluntarily drop Jays.

Rowdy Tellez – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer, as he hit third. Dan gave you some buy lows (and sell highs) the other day in his Fly Ball Exit Velocity chart, and Tellez featured promeniently. Tellez won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy, but I could see grabbing him. Be careful of platoons though.

Lucas Giolito – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 3.89. I love you, now do this for the last five weeks. Please.

Tim Anderson – 2-for-4, 2 runs and a slam (6) and legs (3). All this time we’ve (I’ve) been trying to figure out who is the guy who could be a sneaky top 20 pick. Looking at Matt Olson, Mondesi and so on. The whole time that guy was right in front of our eyes, it’s Tim Anderson. (I just totally jinxed him, didn’t I?)

Eloy Jimenez – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer, hitting .275. My boy Eloy!

Joe Jimenez – 1/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 9.72. “Hey, do you have any will to left to live?” Um, why do you ask, Fantasy Baseball Overlord? “Oh, just wondering before I zonk out Joe Jimenez.”

Joey Bart – 1-for-4 as he was called up. Wonder how he’s getting to San Fran. *intern whispers* Bart? Yeah. I know his name, I am more of a curiosity seeker about the means of Bart’s transportation. *intern whispers again* It’s called a BART? That’s weird. So, I gave you my Joey Bart fantasy during the shutdown. It was written while I was stretching my quads. Rereading it now, it still pretty much tracks even though it’s from April when I still thought we might get 100 games. Like most catchers, he’s worth a flyer, but am I falling over myself like dominos if actual dominos delivered Domino’s? No, not especially.

Wilmer Flores – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 6th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Hot schmotato alert!

Matt Olson – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer, hitting .170. Okay, the average hasn’t been there yet, but you see why he’s so tantalizing, right? All praise to Allahson!

Matt Chapman – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 7th homer, hitting .248. Not sure how many of you have seen Olson and Chapman hit bombs, but they could hit a ball out of its stitching like mini Naturals. Call them Matty Lights.

Sean Manaea – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 6.39. I guess he’s okay…? Sly ellipsis and question mark on purpose. I have no idea.

Cody Bellinger – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer, and 2nd homer in two games, hitting .192. Please have 12 homers by this time next week. Please. There’s still time to salvage this fakakta season.

Clayton Kershaw – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.25. Ya know what, guys and five girl readers? I think I’m maturing. Seeing Kershaw pitch well isn’t even making me aggro. Real growth here! Though, Kyle Seager (1-for-4 and his 5th homer, hitting .301) being more valuable than Pete Alonso is starting to push me over the edge again.

Byron Buxton – Hit the IL with shoulder inflammation. Buxton’s on the shelf more than that elf you bought from Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Jose Berrios – 6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.75. Think I told someone to bench Berrios for this start, and I oop–My bad, I was petrified like a piece of wood that it was going to be bad, said someone who didn’t understand metaphors.

Nelson Cruz – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer. If one-homer power Dee Gordon were to swing Nelson Cruz’s arms while Nelson was asleep, Cruz would homer.

Nathan Eovaldi – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.98. Even a broken clock is right twice a day, so the Red Sox are a clock broken in 26 places and are right every 26th game.

Xander Bogaerts – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting .282. Bogaerts looks okay, I guess. Just Dong (0-for-5, 1 run) looks like he opted out about two weeks ago. Entire Red Sox team looks lifeless, except, of course, Mitch Moreland (2-for-4, 3 RBIs, 7th homer, hitting .360). Of course, right?

German Marquez – 5 IP, 10 ER, ERA at 4.38. I am floating around my house like a hummingbird on this schadenfreude.

Nolan Arenado – 2-for-5, 2 runs, and his 7th homer. My cousin in Liverpool, Seamus, found the original liner notes for Abbey Road that have McCartney and Lennon crediting Ringo Starr as the true genius. Wow, this must be priceless, which makes it odd that I am going to leave it carelessly by this open window—NOOOOO!!! Torenado!

Ryan McMahon – 2-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 4th and 5th homer. Maybe someone took my advice and shot a foam arrow at McMahon every time he swung, so he’d jerk his swing and make it an uppercut.

Sam Hilliard – 4-for-5, 1 run. Not bad for a guy who hit 35 homers and stole 22 bags in Triple-A last year and is a bench bat this year.

Kyle Tucker – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, hitting .239. Yet another triple yesterday. Tucker, hey pardner, only about 3% of all fantasy baseball leagues have a Total Bases category, so, ya know, who cares about triples?

Alex Bregman – Hit the IL with a hamstring strain. Shame on you, Bregman, a hamstring is treif. As Robert Loggia would tell you, “A strained hamstring is a pig that don’t feel straight.” Filling in for Bregman will be Toro (1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer). Toro sounds kosher, but a little pricey.

Elvis Andrus – Hit the IL with a lower back strain. Was bound to happen once Pressly returned and was productive. Guy can’t be in two places at once.

Kyle Gibson – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.73. I kinda hate Gibson with all my soul, yet somehow I keep picking him up. Ugh, I’m even looking at the Streamonator for his next start.

Nick Solak – 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 2nd homer, hitting .278. As someone who owns Solak, he’s been so lacking. Hopefully this is the start of better things. Honestly, not sure if it can get worse. “Oh, it can get worse.” Thanks for the reminder, Altuve.

Dinelson Lamet – 5 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 1.89. Easy to get lost in the theatrics of putting up grand slams like it’s your mothereffing job, but Lamet has four-straight starts with a no hitter into the 4th inning. By the by, it’s hard to victory lap this year, because it’s so weird, but it’s the same narrative as every other year for my teams. People in March look at my teams and are like, “Geez, you’re handsome Grey but you have no pitching.” Then I usually have one of the best pitching staffs in my leagues. On the backs of Trevor Bauer, Lamet, Sonny Gray and Giolito.

Emilio Pagan – 1 IP, 1 ER, and his 4th blown save, ERA at 7.36. Drew Pomeranz is dealing with shoulder tightness, which is explains why a reliever with a 0.00 ERA wasn’t available, but doesn’t explain why he has a 0.00 ERA. Shoulder tightness isn’t good for a pitcher, it says that in the banner being flown by Dr. James Andrews over Petco, followed by his phone number.

Eric Hosmer – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and a slam (5) and legs (2). Padres became the 1st team to hit a grand slam in four consecutive games. The Baseball Gods are rewriting the unwritten rules.