Please see our player page for Jesus Sanchez to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

At least one of you is reading this with a bandaged thumb from a fireworks mishap. I had a Cousin Pete (Italian side of the family) who lost the tip of his thumb on the 4th, but rather than stop the festivities, he taped the tip of a hot dog on his thumb to act as a tourniquet for the rest of the 4th, so we could all go about our fun-having business. I suggested my cousin make a PSA about hot dog tourniquets, but I was turned away by NBC Cares. Let us bow our heads and pray that if anyone loses a piece of their finger, may there be a proper-sized hot dog nearby. Yesterday, the floodgates opened with the strikeouts from Framber Valdez (6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 2.67) that no hot dog tourniquet could stop. Heading into the 4th of July and I am saluting The Astros SPangled Banner. Between Verlander, Javier, Luis Garcia and Framber just draft all Astros SPs, and sit back and enjoy the fireworKs. But have some cocktail weenies nearby, just in case. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s time for another rousing edition of Getting Ahead In Head To Head.  As we enter the dog days of Summer, it’s really time to grind out those wins and stay ahead of the competition.  Side note—Why do they call them the “dog days of summer”.  I am rather partial to dogs and find them to be comforting and kind.  There is nothing about the 99-degree days with 70% humidity in St. Louis that I find neither comforting nor kind.  On a positive note with the MLB, it does appear that with the rise in temperature, there is also a rise in the offense.  Batting averages are up nearly .20 points since April and there were roughly 1200 more runs scored in May than in Mar/Apr combined.  

So what does this have to do with head-to-head baseball? Not really anything, but it shows that attention to offense is paramount.  Use this time to make sure that you put the best players in a situation to succeed. Yes, I know that this is pretty generic information, but I can speak out of personal experience.  I have had Myles Straw in my lineup way too much and should have heeded my own advice.  While I am not saying to bench your studs because they have a tough matchup, but there are times when a “gut” call is necessary.  Let me be the rumble in your stomach and play the role of your “gut”.  But if you happened to have Taco Bell last night, that isn’t me talking, get to the bathroom!

Without further ado, let’s Get Ahead In Head To Head, Week 11 edition!

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Takes off Hello Kitty headphones, places head on the train tracks. Faintly off in the distance, I can hear the very subtle call of exuberance. A very, small yay. That’s the sound of the one fantasy baseball owner who has Isaac Paredes in their lineup for his three-homer night (3-for-3, 4 RBIs, 6th, 7th, and 8th homer). I’ll be real with you, I was sweating this one for Mark Whiten. Back in 1993, Whiten glued four baseballs to his hand back, and he ain’t trying to get a new member of the club. For those of you singing, “I love a Paredes,” I know. This would’ve been Ethel Merman’s best day in fantasy baseball. RIP, you bussin’ Queen. Any hoo! Hard to hit three homers and not be a schmotato, so I could see grabbing Paredes, but Cash is there. Cash’s favorite movie? Platoon. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

…And then I say, “Shane!”
Shane Shane bo bane, bo-na-na no faux number one! Shane!
And then I say the name McClanahan!
McClahananananana bo-ana! McClahananananana no faux number one! McClanahan!

The superlatives will be lacking when it comes to Shane McClanahan (8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 1.87, yeah, and you don’t stop). On the Player Rater, he’s the best starter. On the Rest of the Season Player Rater — that’s right, we have a Player Rater that knows the future, Shane’s number three. Even the stats thinks McClanahananananan will be at worst the third best starter the rest of the year. I wrote a sleeper post about him coming into this year. I love, love, lurve him. Yet, I didn’t even think he would be this good, this fast, but me mi mo whoa he’s been good. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Rockies aren’t good at home anymore and it’s so funny. Like, that’s the joke. The Rockies. Excuse me, the Jokies. Is that a thing? It is now! Bud Black is a joke, the entire organization is a joke. From top to bottom, just jokey joke jokes. The Jokies’ owner, Dick Monfort says, “Can’t believe we’ve got Kris Bryant locked up until he’s 37. We are so smart,” as Monfort pushes on a door that says pull. Also, and I know I joke a lot about the Jokies, so I have to tell you this is absolutely true, Dick Monfort appointed one of the majors’ youngest scouting directors. Who is this overachiever? His son! He appointed his son the scouting director. What’s his qualifications? I just told you! He’s his son! Any hoo! Edward Cabrera (6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 4 walks, 9 Ks) threw a gem in Coors, in his first start up with the team. The command is pretty worrisome here. In Triple-A, he had a 4.6 BB/9 with a 4.56 ERA. I’m actually surprised he was promoted. The stuff is electric, but he could have some absolute roofies. Outside of NL-Only, I’d be concerned. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hope everyone had a glorious Memorial Day, while placing some hot dogs in your gullet and swallowing them whole with some cheap beer. Like George Washington would’ve wanted it! George used to remove his wooden teeth and eat hot dogs whole. True story. So, I’ve become Mr. Pull My Pitcher With 90 Pitches. I hate pitches 90-100. They suck. In ten years, I will hate pitches 80-90. Then, ten years later, I will be Mr. I Like The Starter Who Comes In From The 4th Thru The 5th Inning. ACKSUALLY, that brings up a point, what happens when no starters go more than four innings? It’s coming at some point. Will we adjust our fantasy scoring categories? Something to think about, which is why I’m looking for an emoji with a hand on a chin that is using its other hand to slowly raise its middle finger towards Craig Counsell. Aaron Ashby (6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.70) was fantastic. Dot dot dot. Through 6 innings! He never needed to go out there for the 7th, and it unraveled from pitches 90 thru 100. See? That’s why I am whoever I said I am five sentences ago, to paraphrase Eminem. Ashby’s 11.5 K/9, 5 BB/9, 3.08 xFIP is so itsy-bitsy close to an ace and unusable on the other side. Thankfully, his command is usually much better, i.e., AA – BB = CC, i.e., Aaron Ashby minus walks equals CC Sabathia. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sound the small sample size alarm, because it’s time once again to cast season-long judgment on less than two months’ worth of data for players. But this is the information we have, and fantasy baseball is a reactionary game. We can’t pause our waivers or our FAAB to get a better, more longitudinal look at […]

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Kyle Tucker (2-for-5, 6 RBIs and his 6th and 7th homer) has three asses, because he’s — count them with me now — an unassuming assassin.

That photo of him brings me so much joy. He’s like, “I’m on your fantasy team? Okay, cool.” He looks like he just let out a fart, and only he knows it. Using one of his three asses, I presume. This Kyle Tucker assault was brought to you initially by Nathan Eovaldi (1 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.32) as he gave up five homers, all in the 2nd inning. Apparently, Manfred tried to work the 2019 ball back into circulation. Also, in this game, not simply Eovaldi — Nothan? Novaldi? Meh, maybe now’s not the time for portmanteaus — Yordan Alvarez (2-for-4, 3 runs) hit his 12th homer. Captain Woo Cubano gonna star in Dongs Just Wanna Have Fun; Yuli Gurriel (2-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 3rd, and 3rd homer in the last five days for the smoldering schmotato; Jeremy Pena (2-for-5) hit his 7th for a nice welcome-back-old-friend to the lineup and to the New England area (he’s from Are-Eye); Michael Brantley (2-for-5, 3 RBIs) hit his 3rd homer, and I just thought of something, everyone on the Astros is better than that former Astros player Carlos Correa. Bummer for him! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Life was grand!  There we all were, chit-chatting/arguing, about who should be drafted when, and why.  Yes, fantasy baseball was just a simpler time before the actual games had started.  It was once said that Hope Springs Eternal, and with the beginning of anything, it reminds us that anything can happen, albeit unlikely.  That phrase speaks volumes for many of us because we all know that only 1 person can win their league, yet we all “hope” we can do it.  Byron Buxton should tattoo that saying across his body because even I remain optimistic that he can give us an MVP season with a clean bill of health.  While hope still remains, you will need to stay active because as we all know, you can hope in one hand and s#it in the other and see which fills first.  

On that lovely note, here is another installment of Getting Ahead in Head to Head for Week 6!

Please, blog, may I have some more?