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Kansas City Royals rookie slash on-again off-again major leaguer Edward Olivares was 2-for-3 with twin tanks as he returned from injury Friday night picking up right where he left off: mashing baseballs. Oli showed the KC Mob what he could do at the end of April/early May with a seven game hitting streak collecting 11 hits in 22 ABs, including a stolen base and three extra base hits in that stretch. The numbers may be modest but Eddy flashed something more important to me than power and speed in those seven games: playing time. The Royals have gained a bit of a reputation for prospect blocking. See Vinnie Pasquantino, who you may, in fact, never see. Olivares’ time in the majors to date can be best described as up-and-down in that the Royals frustratingly have yet to commit to keeping him with the big league club for any extended period of time. And why would they when they got Michael A. Taylor and Ryan O’Hearn!? That was my sarcasm font. Well, KC finally seemed ready to play him–maybe, and he flashed a little bit of everything to me in that short stretch. The 26 year old had the hustle of an Adam Sandler movie, the speed of a Keanu Reeves movie, and the power of a 50 Cent TV series. Yes, our dreams were coming true like Bo Cruz, and the rookie was slashing an impressive .371/.421/.486, on the verge of a breakout. Things were finally coming up Milhouse. Then Edward hit the IL with an untimely quad strain. What an unfortunate Olivares twist! But he’s back and he picked up right where he left off, extending his hitting streak and mashing the first two homers of his career to lead KC to the win. Let’s see Michael Taylor do that! The Itch recommended big-brained ones stash him went he went down. Grey told you to BUY over a month ago and that BUY remains valid at least two months post-post (see RB T&C for more details). He called him a 25/15/.270 guy. Yes please! I’ll take that! And assuming they don’t send him down after this, Edward Homer Stands Olivares is an add-everywhere for me!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Justin Verlander – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 3 K, 9th win, ERA at 2.22, WHIP at 0.87. Made the 2022 Yankees look like the 1927 Yankees. Zing! I don’t get it either. The nine wins ties JV for the league lead, and before you poo-poo the three measly Ks, just remember this was the Yankees in NYC City, and there are maybe five pitchers in all of baseball that can shut them down like this.

Luis Severino – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER, 2 BB, 7 K. Luis Luis! Not even that great a start (even against the Astros) so why can’t I stop staring? Oh, it’s the 86/21 K/BB ratio in just 72 IP isn’t it? Yup. It’s funny that his 3.38 ERA is the highest of all the Yankees starters and still better than any pitcher on my fantasy team. I’m hoping we can get that to number slightly over 4 by EOY so I can draft him on all my teams next year.

Giancarlo Stanton – 1-for-4, HR (16). Because someone on the Yankees had to homer! I mean, come on, with that short porch!?

Kyle Tucker – 1-for-4, 3 run HR (14). Is it too late to buy low? Sure, he’s no Yordy Alvarez but King Tuck has really lit up in June slashing .311/.393/.622 with 6 dongs, 3 steals and 19 RBI. His strikeout today was his first since last Wednesday. How he do dat?

Zack Greinke – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 4 K, 1st win as he returned from the IL. The A’s offense will cure whatever ails you! Unless you’re blind of course, then I would recommend staying blind for the remainder of Oakland’s 2022 season. Well, it only took Zack 10 tries but he finally got that first dub back with his old club.

Sandy Alcantara – 7.0 IP, 6 hits, 4 ER, 4 K. Even the best have off days, just ask Andrei Vasilevskiy. The Mets don’t really lose anymore so ain’t no one mad at ya, Sandy. I still got your 1.95 ERA and 0.95 WHIP tattooed on my forearm. In hindsight it was a bad choice since it will need to be updated weekly, but still not the stupidest tattoo I have. Anyway! He gets a nice rebound start in St. Lou next week. Mazel tov!

Jon Berti -2-for-4, run. BUY. Six steals in the past week and available in over 50% of leagues! He’d be a SAGNOF if he wasn’t hitting .350 in that stretch! Go get him!

Taijuan Walker – 6.0 IP, 8 hits, 3 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 6th win. Taijuan made in Queens! Since when did the Mets become a destination for pitchers go to revitalize their careers? Tai’s ratios are lit (2.89 ERA. 1.21 WHIP), and he’s more of a K-er than a Walker with that 49/19 K/BB. That’s three straight wins, can he make it four versus Tejas next week? IDK! My psychic powers only work with AL teams.

Francisco Lindor – 2-for-4, HR (12), 4 RBI. Lindo was most of the offense for the Mets in this one. The .246/.322/.428 slash is fine. The 11 bombs are also fine! 8 steals?! Hecks yeah! But it’s the 56 RBIs that show me how valuable FL has been to the orange and blue this year. That’s not ez to do!

Nick Pivetta – 7.0 IP, 9 hits, 2 ER, 4 K, 8th win. So when I said Nick P for Pivetta turned the Sawx whole season around with one complete game start against Houston in late May I was half-joking, but they are legit 25-9 since that start! Eight of his last nine starts have been of the QS variety too! The bullpen still sucks as bad as it did back in May but when you got Nicky going 6+ every outing it makes it less noticeable.

Rafael Devers – 2-for-4, HR (17). Five homers in the past two weeks. He makes about 10 mil less in arbitration than Judge now. Will someone, anyone, please pay this kid! Should we start a GoFundMe? What do we do to keep Raffy on this team?

Christian Arroyo – 3-for-4, HR (4), 3 RBI. Returned from the COVID IL to hit this bomb. Oh did the doctor not mention one of the side effects of ‘rona is mashing ding dongs? Just ask Fauci.

Andres Gimenez – 3-for-4, HR (8), SB (6) slashing .314/.353/.516. The slam & legs in Boston is served with a Dunkin’ Iced Regulah, which has extra cream and extra sugar, and there’s nothing regulah about it–it tastes like ice cream water. Delicious! As for Andres, it’s kind of unreal how good he’s been. Is this the player I hyped for the Mets for two years? He’s easily one of the Guardians’ (dumbest name ever) best players, why is he hitting seventh? Answer me, Tito!

Amed Rosario – 2-for-5, SB (8). I kind of forgot how fantasy-rich this Guardians (dumbest name ever) team was as they cooled off a bit, but Rosy’s got 12 runs scored and 3 steals in the past two weeks hitting .375! Rosario’s are red hot!

Franmil Reyes – 2-for-4, run. Just a reminder that he’s back and he’s hitting, and he’s still like 7’0 feet tall. That’s taller than Oneil Cruz and we can’t shut up about him!

Tanner Houck – 1.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 2 K. What the Houck! Was not a save situation but Tanner was determined to make it one. Houck’s unvaccinated status makes his job even less secure to me, as the Sawx are set for a 3 game Canada trip on Monday. I’d look to John Schreiber or Matt Strahm for save chances while Tanner and Jarren Duran stay home and play Fortnite together.

German Marquez – 7.2 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 5 BB, 2 K, 4th win versus Dylan Bundy, 6.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, 2 BB, 2 K. In the battle of which underwhelming start would you rather have. What’s sad was this was German’s first scoreless outing of the year. Nein! That is not great. Aren’t you the Ace? He gets the Dodgers next week and I dare you to start him! Triple dog!

Freddie Freeman – 1-for-3, 2 runs. I only mention him because it was his first game back in ATL and he got his ring and quite a standing O from the fans and I yeah, it was nice! I got the goosies ya’ll! Is it dusty in here? Give me a break, I can’t be cynical all the time, who doesn’t like Freddie Freeman?

Matt Olson – 2-for-3, RBI. I know someone who must have felt real awkward Friday on Freddie Freeman night. Hitting .308 with two bombs in the past week, is it me, or is he heating up?

Trea Turner – 3-for-5, 2 runs, HR (10). Can I just say the Trea leading-off experiment has been such a revelation for me? He’s hitting .444 with 2 homers and a steal since the switch. Is he gonna bat .400 for the rest of the year? Is he ever gonna steal again? Is he gonna win MVP? Probably!

Julio Urias – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 2 BB, 9 K, 5th win, ERA at 2.48. Hasn’t had the same luck as last year when he won 20 but I’ll take the sub-3 ERA and be happy about it!

Ian Anderson – 4.0 IP, 6 hits, 4 ER, 4 BB, 6 K. He’s got 36 walks this year and if he thinks the Braves don’t have some hot shot flame thrower waiting in the wings to nab his rotation spot he’s wrong. It’s the Braves. They always have a guy.

Michael Chavis – 2-for-5, HR (8). Diego Castillo also homered (6). Chavis is literally playing for his life, or at least that third spot in the lineup.

Oneil Cruz – 2-for-4. He was a BUY. Duh! He’s the Cruz Missile!

Jeffrey Springs – 6.0 IP, 7 hits, 3 ER, 9 K. Springs has sprungs! Here comes summers!

Kyle Hendricks – 7.1 IP, 5 hits, BB, 6 K, 3rd win. Kyle held St. Louis in his Purple Haze and he’s a little too up-and-down for me but he gets the Reds next week and I’ll allow it as long as he’s shredding like this.

Nico Hoerner – 2-for-3, HR (4), 2 RBI. And I thought I Beavis and Butthead were desperate to score but Nico is Hoerner-ier! Here’s my smooth as silk segue into recommending the new Beavis and Butthead movie. My favorite part was just when you think the movie’s about to go political and “say something” meaningful, they make another “hole” joke. Lul. I take comfort in the fact that after 25 years Beavis and Butthead remain one of the stupidest things out there. And I loved every second of it.

Michael Kopech – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, 3 ER, 4 BB, 2 K, ERA at 2.59. Only two wins, dude can literally not catch a break, but he does get the Angels next week and those guys can’t win anything so maybe his luck is about to change.

Luis Robert – 0-for-4, 2 K. Is LouBob is the reason the White Sox are bad? Is he just not the star we thought he’d be? He’s been a fine/okay fantasy player, sure. But for getting shut down by the Orioles bullpen like that? Pathetic. Do better!

Jorge Mateo – 0-for-2 run, 2 SB (19), batting .196. He could win you steals at the expense of your batting average and perhaps your sanity. This is how we SAGNOF!

Josh Bell – 3-for-4, run, RBI hitting .350 in the past week. Had a triple but no ding dongs tonight for Bell. Must be half past!

Adolis Garcia–  2-for-4, HR (14). Hit this 420-footer. And also gunned out Cruz at the plate to save a run. I can’t stress enough how Adolis is the only thing keeping me from the depths of the fantasy standings, and he is admittedly a very shaky player to be carried by. Don’t ask me if I’m okay, because I’m not at all okay.

Alek Manoah – 6.2 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 3 BB, 6 K, 9th win. He’s got a 2.63 ERA and 1.06 WHIP with 4 wins in the past 30 days. He’s been the best pitcher on a Blue Jays team with the 2021 Cy Young and if you don’t know now Manoah.

Tyrone Taylor – 2-for-3, HR (9). Three homers and hitting .240 in the past week and by the time you grab him he’ll probably have cooled off but he’s a hot little potato right now!

Alejandro Kirk – 4-for-4, 2 runs, HR (9), RBI. Left the game with a hand contusion but X-Rays were negative and Kirk is hitting .350 with three bombs in the past week and he is probably better than whatever catcher you’re rostering. Aye aye Captain Kirk!

Cavan Biggio – 2-for-3, HR (2). That one was for dad!

Javier Baez – 1-for-4, Grand Slam HR (7). I punched down on Detroit pretty hard last week after their Riley Greene call up but what I didn’t mention was Javy Baez who had been the absolute worst player in fantasy through last Friday slashing just .192/.233/.293 with just 3 home runs and 16 RBIs. I know. Yeah, it was worse than the new Elvis movie. It was worse than a Logic album. But hey, anyone who knows Javy knows he’s streakier than a pair of tighty whiteys and knows he’d eventually wake up–and sure enough! Baez is hitting .417 with 4 homers, 9 RBI, and 2 steals in the past week including this grand salami last night! Sweet sassy molassy! That’s an eight game hitting streak, homering in three straight games! Welcome back, old friend!

MacKenzie Gore – 5.0 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 4 BB, 4 K. Gore looked tired and the fastball velocity was down but he still held the Phils in check. Worried the innings might catch up to him but I’ll take the outing and just start him versus the Dodgers next week with my eyes closed.

Aaron Nola – 7.0 IP, 7 hits, ER, 2 BB, 10 K, ERA at 2.98. Talk about bad luck. To top it off, the lone run surrendered was on an RBI from his big bro Austin Nola, who will never let him hear the end of this at Thanksgiving. Oh man, that noogie is gonna be epic.

Matt Vierling – 2-for-3. He was a BUY and Grey said “This guy is entirely a 7-day Player Rater hot schmotato, and not very good.” Wow! High praise!

Graham Ashcraft – 8.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 8 K, 4th win. Have a day, young man! The eight Ks was a career-high, but I wouldn’t expect those on a weekly basis as Graham is a ground ball pitcher. One of the last of a dying breed. His 3.27 ERA and 1.09 WHIP are still impressive, especially for a Reds pitcher and he gets a juicy match-up with the Cubs next week and I might consider the prospect of maybe thinking about mulling over the possibility of contemplating whether or not I should review the option of potentially picking him up. I don’t know for sure though!

Hunter Strickland – 1.0 IP, BB, K, SV (3). Strickland is strictly SAGNOF. Check out that 5.11 ERA. Mhmm. But if you’re as desperate for saves as I am for positive feedback, go ahead and give him a whirl! Was nice knowing ya!

Alex Cobb – 4.1 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, BB, 4 K. 80 pitches. OK, two errors resulted in one of the runs and Cobb is one of the unluckiest MFers on the planet yadda yadda yadda. Also injuries, sure. Still, I’ve held this joker all season waiting for the returns, and his 5.48 ERA and 1.46 WHIP are making me look foolish. Am I to be made a fool!? At what point does the unluckiness just start being badness. You get one more chance for me next week for the White Sox who can’t beat anyone, otherwise, I’m cutting you loose, Cobby. Sorry, not sorry!

Evan Longoria – 2-for-3, HR (6). How low can you Longo! I loved you in Foodfight!

Michael Lorenzen – 3.0 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, 4 BB, 5 K. Please tell me you watched that Foodfight trailer. Regardless, I hated on Cobb pretty hard just now but at least he’s not an Angels starter. For serious, can any of these starters not named Ohtani pitch more than six innings? Why are they so bad? Maybe try asking Shohei, seems like that dude’s got all the answers. They’d be better off letting Mike Trout give starting a go, he can’t be any worse than what they’ve gotten.

Jesse Winker– 3-for-4, run. Winker keeping one eye on the prize! Hitting .421 with two homers in the past week! I’d say he’s finally heating up but it never gets over 80 degrees in C-Attle.

Paul Sewald – 1.0, K, SV (6). Saved two games back-2-back like that Drake song I can’t remember the name of. Sewald clearly leads this committee over Diego Castillo, but the return of Ken Giles who was a BUY promises to throw a wrench into this track and throw this closer carousel off the rails.

Julio Rodriguez – 1-for-4, HR (10). Never in my wildest dreams, even the one’s involving Mookie Betts, Wanda Maximoff and me piloting an F-14 Tomcat with my face deep-faked onto Tom Cruise’s body, did I expect Juul-Rod’s vapes to rip this good. I super reached drafting him in the fourth round and he still feels like a steal. By the by, he’s got 19 of those. He’s hitting .300 in the past week with two homers and 2 steals, and it took him two months but he’s already the best hitter on this team–at least until Kyle Lewis gets back. What? I still got hope, ya’ll!

Mike Trout – 2-for-3, HR (22). Have you heard about this guy? The worst commissioner in sports, (worse than Goodell even) has four bombs in the past week batting .292 in that stretch. Mike Trout is that fantasy commissioner that is only commissioner so he can sway the rules to favor his team and roster. If only he could do that for the Angels.

Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!