Nick-Nats Paddywhack Give Lodolo A Bone

I know ya wanna YOLO with Lodolo. I want to too! Which is why I have great news for you! Yesterday was the world’s longest YOLO: Nick Lodolo went 9 IP, 0 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.08. Have I mentioned (I have) that I’m going to love Lodolo next year? Already mentally writing the sleeper post. He’s gonna be an ace next year. He’s basically there already, but I get the sense no one realizes it. You might be thinking now, “Nah, Cousin Handsome Sexy Ass,” as you use my nickname from High School, “Lodolo is barely a 3 ERA pitcher this year. He won’t be a sleeper next year.” I’m telling you, homey. I’ve seen some shizz and this shizz is shizz I’ve seen before. Seth Lugo’s had a barely 3 ERA for his entire career and no one wants him in drafts! Lodolo won’t be drafted properly because his K/9 is yawnstipating (8.2), but what people are not seeing is that he’s become an excellent pitcher this year (walk rate down to the minuscule 1.7 BB/9), and is no longer just “throw hard, speed turns me on,” but fantasy baseballers just don’t understand. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Michael Soroka – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.85. Soroka is pitching much better on paper than in reality. Call him, the History Channel’s Pivetta.

Erick Fedde – DFA’d. Wow, thought the Cards were committed to losing. Do better, St. Louis. No, literally, they were shutout yesterday by the Rockies, which was the Rockies’ 1st shutout in 220 games.

Ezequiel Tovar – 1-for-4 and his 5th homer, as he hits sixth, which is a tad nuts considering who the Rockies have hitting above him, but whatever. Warren July Schaeffer is getting his Rox off!

Andrew McCutchen – 1-for-4 and his 9th homer. Knee McClutchin’ keeps on truckin’!

Spencer Horwitz – 1-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 3rd homer, a grand slam. Not saying someone can’t play ball based on a name, but Spencer Horwitz is pushing the limits.

Bailey Falter – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.82. Did not Falter! Bang! High five me! Right now! No? Okay. His underlying stats are among the most hideous in baseball. Here’s hoping a contender trades for him and his first start with them is a 1/3 IP, 7 ER outing as he Jokey Smurfs them.

Tarik Skubal – Placed on paternity list. When I was a kid, fathers didn’t even recognize paternity test results. What an upside down world we’re living in.

Troy Melton – 5 IP, 6 ER, as he was called up. Melton’s minor league numbers are eye-poppingly gorge, and, if Skubal, Mize, and others are any indication of the Tigers working with pitching prospects, Melton will be great, just in three years or so. In the minors, he had a 12.1 K/9, 2.4 BB/9, 2.65 xFIP, I told you they were gorge. For now, leave him for keepers and AL-Only, as Skubal’s return prolly bumps him back to the minors.

Dylan Cease – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.59. The guy is nearly useless. This start was vs. the Marlins and he made them look patient. Red Sox should trade for Cease, then immediately send him to the Yanks for whatever. Just offload him immediately on their biggest competitor.

Jesus Sanchez – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer. I have Cease in one league (because I can’t drop him in that league, unfortunately) and I picked up Sanchez in another league because I know how much Cease sucks.

Sandy Alcantara – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 6.66. More like Satan Alcantara. Even more impressive, Sandy pitched this game wearing a sandwich board that read, “Please call! I have no no-trade clauses. Double negatives be damned!”

Mike Trout – 1-for-5 and his 396th homer and 999th RBI. Not in this game. Though, that wouldn’t be record, Barry Bonds did that in one game in August of 2001.

Pete Alonso – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 22nd homer, hitting .272. Albombso!

Brandon Nimmo – 2-for-3, 2 runs and his 19th homer. Nimmo found one!

Sean Manaea – 5 IP, 1 ER, I’m big fan of Manaea. A fanaea, if you will. Streamonator does show his next one is a tough matchup. Here’s hoping he can pull it off, Samoan-style! (Which is him pitching while I’m eating Girl Scout cookies.)

Quinn Priester – 7 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.28. Long overdue for a spotlight on Priester. Umm, bad choice of words. His peripherals (7.6 K/9, 3 BB/9, 3.62 xFIP) are reading somewhat yawnstipating, but he does have a 57.5% ground ball rate and can you guess what he did? It rhymes with butter. That’s right, he started throwing a cutter this year. Not sure why every pitcher doesn’t learn a cutter. Never met a pitcher with a cutter who wasn’t far exceeding expectations. I’m sure it’s not as easy as waking up and saying, “Today I will throw a cutter,” but people need to learn!

MJ Melendez – Was called up by the Royals. Whew, not sure how they were doing it with only three catchers.

Tyler Tolbert – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and a slam (1) and legs (10), and that was his 1st career homer. Tolbert is such an old school baseball name, right? “Watkins, Johnson, Tolbert and Staub were the best utility guys of 1971,” I say while sipping a beer while Glory Days plays. Any hoo! Tolbert has 60-steal speed and might .190. Giddy up in AL-Only leagues!

Salvador Perez – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer. He has nine homers in July, while hitting over .360. Not sure what was going on in April when he sucked dog balls, but Perez is back to making a run for a top three catcher season.

Vinnie Pasquantino – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and his 16th and 17th homer, hitting .269. Ay yo! Vinnie Pasketti! You farkin’ fusilli-ass, bat twirling goombah!

Seth Lugo – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.95. “First mention of Lugo? Never heard of him before.” — That’s your average ESPN fantasy baseballer.

Pete Crow-Armstrong – 1-for-4 and his 27th homer, hitting .270. PCA stands for Premier Centerfielder Axtraordinaire.

Colin Rea – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.06. Live by the “streaming not a good pitcher, hopefully it works out,” and die by the “streaming not a good pitcher, it did not work out.” Streamonator hates his next one, see no reason to wait for it in most mixed leagues.

Matt Shaw – 1-for-4 and his 5th homer, 3rd homer since Saturday, which I know because that’s when I picked him up in my RCL. I’ve said he’s a hot schmotato roughly three times this week. And today I say, yup.

Jesus Luzardo – 5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.58. After his first insane blowup of the year, I dropped him before the 5th inning was over. Afterwards, I thought I might regret it, that I was being too rash. Well, I’m here to say I’m glad I got that Adult Diaper Rash off my team. Is this awful pitching happening because he’s tipping? Okay, cool, why are you telling me? Tell him and tell him to stop! This is always what cracks me up about some fantasy ‘perts. They diagnose the issue and. Dot dot dot. What do you do with that info? It’s not like Luzardo is reading Fantasy Smarties dot com for the answer to his troubles. And even if he was, it doesn’t mean he can implement the fix. You don’t think the Phillies are telling him to stop doing whatever it is he’s doing?

Bryce Harper – 1-for-5, 2 runs and his 14th homer, hitting .271. He became the youngest active player of the 350 homer club. Incredibly, he also has 350 kids.

Bryson Stott – 2-for-4 and a slam (7) and legs (15). Stott’s entertainment!

Nick Castellanos – 1-for-5 and his 13th homer. Also, in this game, Kyle Schwarber (2-for-5, 3 RBIs) hit his 34th homer; J.T. Realmuto (2-for-5) hit his 6th homer. Hate to see the Phillies if their offense gets hot, because we know their pitching — yes, except Luzardo — is nasty. Okay, instead of Nola too, but, said a’la Little Carmine, “Nola, whatever happened there?”

Romy Gonzalez – 1-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 6th homer, a grand slam. This was his first hit since July 9th. Thanks, Luzardo!

Lucas Giolito – 4 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.97. He rattled off six straight solid starts, and now back-to-back clunkers. His peripherals aren’t especially sexy and [shrugs] meh. I don’t have any special feeling on him, but this matchup was awful and Streamonator is a little positive on his next, so I could see trying one more.

Corey Seager – 2-for-4 and his 15th homer, 2nd homer in two games, now eight homers in 25 games, hitting over .340 with 21 runs and 22 RBIs, and enters the top 10 on the 30-day Player Rater. An honor better than hundreds of millions of dollars!

Patrick Corbin – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.78. RotoSurgeon texted me yesterday saying he was picking up Corbin. I left him on read and changed my number.

Taj Bradley – 1 2/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 4.61. Stop asking about starting him! Stop rostering this schmohawk! Stop all contact with Taj! I know he was supposed to be better! It doesn’t matter!

Yandy Diaz – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer, and three homers since the break, and three times he said, “Look at what my muscles can do.”

Junior Caminero – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 26th homer, and 3rd homer since the break. Still remember the War Room said to draft Caminero and Yandy, and I only listened on Caminero because I really only want my biases confirmed.

Colson Montgomery – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 5 RBIs and his 2nd homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Hot schmotato alert!

Anthony Volpe – 1-for-2 and his 13th homer, hitting .214, and, even though this was his 13th homer, and he’s hitting .214, this was his first hit of the season, according to Joey Bagadonuts, lifetime Yankees fan and resident of Staten Island.

Aaron Judge – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 37th homer. Joey Bagadonuts also said, “Freakin’ Volpe homered so now they can trade him for Paul Scones–that’s his name, right?”

Jasson Dominguez – 1-for-4 and his 9th homer, hitting .253. Elias Sports Bureau said, “This is the first time two Yankees other than Judge homered and it wasn’t anyone batting directly in front of him.”

Max Fried – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 2.62. Aw shucks! Oh no! Please don’t regress!

Chris Bassitt – 7 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.88. He’s pitched better this year than his ERA (complimentary).

Bo Bichette – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 13th homer, hitting .281. He’s having one of those years where he’s absolutely been valuable, and it’s also incredibly boring. That’s LouGuJu’s music!

Shohei Ohtani – 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 37th homer, and 5th straight game with a homer. Someone better dig up Dale Long, just in case we need to celebrate.

Tyler Glasnow – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.75. Most Ks by a Dodgers starter this year, and a 70% Whiff rate on his curve. He’s so goofy good when healthy it’s nuts. Maybe he can talk to deGrom about how to stay on the mound.

Kirby Yates – 0 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 4.45. Fantasy Baseball Overlord sometimes seems to get off on us who are the first to pick up a replacement closer. Really don’t think there’s a closer for the Dodgers right now, not until they trade for someone.

Chris Paddack – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 hits, zeor walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.95. I have no Paddack shares. Wouldn’t dream of it, to be honest, but he was lights-out vs. the Dodgers, then inexplicably pulled at 78 pitches for a reliever who immediately gave up the lead. Fire Baldelli!

Royce Lewis – 2-for-2 and his 5th homer, and has looked healthy and solid in the 2nd half. Not sure what took so long, but Lewis has finally clocked in and started playing in 2025. (By the way, arguably the hottest hitter on the Twins? Pulled late in the game for a guy hitting .099. Brilliance.)

Diego Cartaya – Released by the Twins, the former #1 Dodgers prospect. Yes, another former top Dodgers prospect who wasn’t really that good. Conspiracy theory that I 100% believe: Dodgers pay scouts money to pretend their prospects are better than they are so other teams are fooled.

Brandon Walter – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.35. B. Walter’s shining now that Hugh Downs is no longer casting his long shadow. On June 8th, I said, “(Walter) has allowed one walk in 11 IP. Good way to succeed, and this blurb took me 15 minutes because I stopped in the middle and put in a FAAB bid for him in all my leagues.” And that’s me quoting me! I don’t say I’m picking up every pitcher that fast. Can think on one hand this year where I was crazy excited that quickly for a starter: Misiorowski, Walter, Roupp, and do you see why I’m doing well in pitching in most of my leagues?

Kevin Ginkel – 1 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 7.99, and his 4th loss. Bummer, his 8 ERA seemed so promising.

Ketel Marte – 2-for-5 and his 20th homer. Damn, it’s only July and the 20th shot of Ketel? [hiccup]

Brandon Pfaadt – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.76. Oh my God, I know this routine! Has a great 2nd half, ropes us in for next year, and he’s hideous for the first three months once again! Damn you, Pfaadt!

Slade Cecconi – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.76. Purposely put Slade Cecconi listed here because there’s gonna be multiple, “Hey, you say you’re 5′ 7″ and 3/4, but you look 6′ 2″ in my heart. Anyway, Cecconi, Pfaadt or Walter, who you got?” The order that they’re listed, changes on matchups and depends on need for upside vs. safety. Walter is clear number one (of these three), and Pfaadt and Cecconi are a tossup.

Zach Eflin – 5 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 5.78, as he was activated from the IL. A few people asked yesterday about activating Eflin, and, I don’t know, but, interjection, is he really rosterable in that many leagues?

Jackson Holliday – 1-for-3 and his 14th homer, hitting .261. Absolutely smoking Grounder Henderson in power. I’m getting in my feels again about Grounder, I need to move on.

Spencer Strider – 5 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.72. So, he’s still not right. I tried to pinpoint what the problem was, but guys were hitting balls for homers that should’ve been junk, untouchable, not even near the zone. I don’t know. Wasn’t a great outing, if being honest. Chapman shouldn’t have caught up to the ball he homered off, and Devers had no business homering on the ball he did. Bleh, kinda bummed for Strider. Hopefully things are better next time.

Rafael Devers – 3-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 18th and 19th homer. The pitch he hit for his first homer of the day was about a centimeter off the ground. Kinda crazy he flicked it out.

Matt Chapman – 1-for-2, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer, 2nd homer of the half. Wasn’t much easier of a homer than Devers. Excuse me if I’m live blogging here.

Justin Verlander – 5 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 5 BBs, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.70. What’s old is new again? One guess! What’s also wild and out of the zone and not pitching well but managed to get through a few innings against a terrible team? Same guess works here. This took Verlander’s record to 1-8 for career win number 263! Only [doing rough math] 37 more years to 300! Justin Verlander is not over the hill and not Rich Hill, but a secret third thing.