KC’s Cameron Flirts With A Noahitter

Noah Cameron sounds like a Prime Minister but he’s on the Royals, and that feels like a no-can-do. Can a member of the Royal family also be a PM? I don’t know, but better yet: I don’t care. Only way Noah Cameron could’ve looked better last night is if he went against the Tories. Noah Cameron was billed as a crafty lefty and I had my questions, but this Guy Fawkes! Yesterday, he carried a no-hitter into the 7th. Mostly because he didn’t throw any strikes. He went 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 5 walks, 3 Ks as he was called up. His slider was nasty, threw it 44% of the time with a Whiff% of 35. He has a 92 MPH fastball that he threw 28 times and induced zero whiffs. That made me chuckle a little. What’s also funny is he supposedly has plus command and had an under 2 BB/9 last year in Triple-A. It could’ve been nerves, and I’m more intrigued today than I was before the start. Still think it’s likely only a 15-team mixed league play or deeper for now, and maybe he gets sent down, but he just needs to show that command to be successful. It’s Parliamentary, my dear Cameron. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Vinnie Pasquantino – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, 2nd homer in four games. Let Pasketti eat!

Drew Rasmussen – 5 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 2.64. If you have him, say your Rasmussens that he can go 100+ IP.

Max Muncy – 2-for-4., 2 runs, and his 1st homer of the season, hitting .194. Damn, was beginning to think he wanted to hit a home run but Bill Bellichick’s girlfriend shut him down.

Freddie Freeman – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting .319. Guy’s had a come down that I and others anticipated, but it is kinda crazy how he’s still better than Vlad Jr.

Tony Gonsolin – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 9 Ks, as he was activated. So, that was surprising. Was pretty dismissive of Gonsolin. He hadn’t pitched in two years and he had 14 IP in the minors in four appearances this year. It didn’t track that he was ready, but he must’ve been throwing simulated games. Don’t think he can throw more than 75 IP, but he’s never been bad. He’s just never been healthy. So, yeah, grab him if you can.

Kyle Stowers – 4-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 3rd and 4th homer. When I rip and kill, at will, the man of the hour, Kyle Stowers, I’ll devour, hot schmotato power. He’ll be in tomorrow’s Buy column, naturally, which is already available on the Patreon.

Jesus Tinoco – 1/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 5.40. Jesus, what have you wrought me?! And in the 6th inning?! Better go get some cash or credit at Stinkoco. That’s back-to-back old school. Like an old fool.

Masyn Winn – 4-for-8, 4 runs, and his 2nd homer. One of his homers was to the upper deck, which makes me wonder why can’t he show this consistently? Or consystently.

Victor Scott II – 3-for-7, 4 RBIs and a slam (2) and legs (10). Guess that makes him Victor Scott II & X.

Willson Contreras – 2-for-6, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting .222. Amazing how great he’s been now that he’s playing 1st baseball every day. I’m being sarcastic! Smarten up!

Lars Nootbaar – 1-for-7, 2 runs and his 5th homer, hitting .263. Noot Noot chugga chugga!

Miles Mikolas – 5 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.66 vs. Brady Singer – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.24. This was one of the most Streamonator matchups the Streamonator’s ever matched up.

Ryan Thompson – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 4.26, and his 1st save. On three different teams, I had Shelby Miller pitch, Justin Martinez pitch and Kevin Ginkel pitch, and I saw the DBags won by a run, and I was like, “Why isn’t a save coming through for any of my guys. Any Major Dude with half a heart will tell you I got at least one save from someone!” Instead, Ryan Thompson from Kids in the Hall secured the save. I don’t think Ju-Ma is healthy and I think Miller is the closer-in-waiting.

Corbin Burnes – 6 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners (5 BBs), 3 Ks, ERA at 3.58. Five walks and three Ks? Oh, please, sell.

Tyrone Taylor – 3-for-4 and a slam (1) and legs (2), hitting .222. Early contender for most random slam & legs of the year. It’s up to you now, Kyle Isbel.

Mark Vientos – 1-for-4 and his 4th homer, hitting .212. Was a good day to have preseason sleepers, Heliot and Vientos, though not a great preceding month.

Alex Bregman – 1-for-4 and his 7th homer, 2nd homer in as many games, hitting .328. I’m McLovin rostering Bregman this year. Feels like the first time I saw a narrative (he was thirsty for another contract and in a great home park) and it’s played out exactly that way so far.

Lucas Giolito – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, as he was activated. He’s the polar opposite of Gonsolin, as in when he’s been healthy, he’s been bad. Very bad. He has a near-5 ERA in the last 350-ish innings, so, no, I am not adding him. In Fenway also sounds like a terrible place for him to pitch.

Daulton Varsho – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer, as he was activated from the IL the previous game. If Web Gem is a category in your league, then I’m interested. Otherwise, I’m not a huge fan. 15-team mixed leagues and deeper, you do what you have to do.

Anthony Santander – 1-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .175. Jays have $600 million tied up in six total homers and about a .220 average. Tariffs are killing them.

Tobias Myers – 2 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 6.00. Against the White Sux? This feels like a practical joke. Am I on a hidden camera Black Mirror episode?

Colt Keith – 1-for-2, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. A drive deep into the 2nd deck! 109.6 mph exit velo! 406 ft! It would’ve been a homer in 30/30 parks! So, I’m asking, how does he only have one homer?

Javier Baez – 1-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 1st home run, hitting .296. That’s 24 games to the tune of .296/.337/.407 with 1.8 Barrel% (career low) and 32.7 Hard Hit% (-7.3% from ‘24) to 49.1 Swing% (career low) and 28.8 Whiff% (career low). So, making weak contact, but actually making contact. Crazy career trajectory for him. From one of the best to one of the worst to prime Adam Frazier.

Jackson Jobe – 4 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 3.38, making his 1st start in 12 days, as he returned from Witness Protection Program. Sorry, sorry! It was Jacksen Jobe. Totally different guy!

Tommy Kahnle – 1 1/3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 0.77, and his 5th save. Will West is the closer?! Will Vest?! All signs are pointing that way! He enters the 6th inning on Tuesday, Kahnle is lock down on Wednesday and now, “Will Vest?” Sounds like a cardboard sign someone holds up indicating they’ll work at Chili’s. “Will Vest for money?” You’re hired! Just not as our closer.

AJ Blubaugh – 4 IP, 2 ER, 5 more unearned runs, as he made his 1st start, and expected to be optioned back down. Who? Blubaugh! Say it again! Blubaugh! I need it one more time! Blueblockers? No! Blahblue? No! Blubaugh? Yes!

Victor Caratini – 1-for-3 and his 1st homer. Caratini to the Cabbage Patch! Get your extra beta Caratini! This is a veggie tale!

Lance McCullers Jr. – Will return to start on Sunday for his 1st start since 2022. You remember 2022, it was when Bo Bichette was being drafted 1st overall and apparently we all lost our entire minds. I didn’t even look to see if McCullers is available in any my leagues. It’s a human interest story more than a fantasy one, until we see anything resembling something worthwhile.

Jeremy Pena – 3-for-5, 2 runs and his 4th homer, hitting .282. Someone likes being the leadoff hitter and think about how the pitcher has to change his eye level to face the next hitter. Brilliant tactician, that Espada!

Kyle Schwarber – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 9th homer, as he hits cleanup. He’s on pace for 36 more RBIs this year. I’ve only been saying to move him out of the leadoff spot for three straight years.

Max Kepler – 1-for-4 and his 3rd homer, hitting .253, 2nd homer in four games. Mr. Schmotato risin’, gotta keep on risin’.

J.T. Realmuto – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 2nd homer. Don’t pay attention to Realmuto, because I would never draft him, but 2 HRs, 8 RBIs, and hitting .237 through a month is a woof from me dawg.

Cristopher Sanchez – 5 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.45. This game was a double whammy of wrong luck being pressed. I benched Sanchez, because I thought he was freakin’ hurt and started Jake Irvin (6 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.01), but he got taken to the woodshed by the Regression Fairies where they made him paint the walls mauve and they destroyed his ratios.

Chase Dollander – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 6.48, but left with a cracked fingernail. Someone skipped their mani-pedi. Before that, he turned in his best outing vs. his home state Atlanta Braves! Chase wanted to thank Coca-Cola, peanuts and OutKast.

Brenton Doyle – 2-for-4 and his 4th homer. He feels like a solid buy low guy. Suckies do suck but Coors heats up in the summer and balls be flyin’.

Zach Agnos – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 0.00 as he got his 1st save for the Suckies. Only people who had him are self-proclaimed Agnostics. Find God and a better closer.

Chris Sale – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.84. 1st pitcher ever to have a start with 10+ Ks and zero walks at Coors Field and lose. Weird Coors flex, but whatever.

David Bednar – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 5.14, and his 3rd save. From the dog house to Who Got Those Dogs Out?, Bednar Bednar Bednar!

Matthew Boyd – 5 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.70. Who the Regression Fairies screw is their business, but this guy’s got boy in his name!

Jorge Soler – 1-for-4 and his 5th homer, hitting .243. George Sun hitting the daylights out that ball. Was that a Bond film?

Mike Trout – Left the game with knee soreness but says he plans to play today. He’s got 80 games to play, you can have them consecutively or every other game, up to the Angels.

Tyler Anderson – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.67. You can follow Streamonator on him and ignore him, or pick him up and watch as he finally regresses on your team.

Randy Arozarena – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 5th homer. It extends his career-best on-base streak to 25 games, and, when I mention that, it becomes even more implausible how he’s hitting .208.

Brent Rooker – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer, hitting .258. He’s having the quietest on-pace-for-40-homer season or nah?

Lawrence Butler – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 5th homer, as he tagged a bunch of runs on Luke Jackson (1/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 6.55) and turned him back into a doodie pumpkin.

Luis Severino – 5 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, ERA at 3.30 vs. Nathan Eovaldi – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.11. If it’s not in Bing Bong, you know I’m starting them for a song!

Heliot Ramos – 1-for-3 and his 4th homer, hitting .248. That’s preseason sleeper, Heliot Ramos, who became in-season “I think he’s sleeping, could someone elbow him, maybe just a nudge?”

Landen Roupp – 4 1/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 5.10. Droupp.

Mike Yastrzemski – 2-for-4 and his 5th homer, hitting .275 and leadoff, and 2nd homer in a week. Carl’s Jr. Jr. won’t feed families but he’s got some pop and will give you runs.

Aaron Judge – 3-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 10th homer, and 45th homer in April. That feeling you have right now, remember that next draft season when you’re thinking of taking someone in front of Judge, then when Judge sucks next April, curse your 2025 self for giving you this idea.

Paul Goldschmidt – 1-for-5 and his 2nd homer. Au Shizz! Guess where he hit that home run from. You got it! The Yankees’ leadoff spot, which has produced 900 homers in the first 31 games.

Ryan Mountcastle – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer, hitting .194. Also, in this game, Ramon Urias (2-for-4) hit his 2nd homer, hitting .292. Here’s a mystery even Mountcastle (9 PM GMT on Wednesday on BBC) can solve, who has more value in the last week, Mountcastle or Urias? “Don’t be an Urias, and say Ramon.”

Charlie Morton – Orioles moved him to bullpen. Every 5th day the Orioles will be selecting one lucky fan to start for them!