Jonah’s Got Mets Fans Singing The Tong Song

Scandalous. 

Can’t handle this. 

But the New York Metropolitans said it anyway.

“Let me see that Tong” was the cry heard around the fantasy baseball world last night as the Mets recalled top pitching prospect, Jonah Tong (5 IP, 1 ER, 6 H, 0 BB, 6 Ks) in his first career start AND gave him a ton of run support to help him lock down his first career win.

Dubbed “The Canadian Cannon” in the minor leagues, Tong averages 95-97 MPH on his fastball, and according to Mets broadcaster Gary Cohen last night, “He gets a 5-foot average vertical drop on the curveball.”

I’m sorry? Drop like what? What? What?

I think I’ll sing it again!

So, The Jonah Tong Song was Grey’s Tuesday lede last week, and pitting the kid against former hotshot pitching prospect Eury Perez (who is just two months older than Tong) was supposed to make for some must-see TV on a late August Friday evening.

The only problem is that someone forgot to tell the Marlins’ starter.

Eury Perez (0.2 IP, 5 ER, 3 H, 2 BB, 0 K) was not up for the kid-pitching duel. He managed to secure just two outs on 39 pitches in the first and gave up homers to Juan Soto (33) and Brandon Nimmo (21) before getting the hook and being replaced by Todd Zuber.

Things didn’t go much more smoothly for the Marlins’ relievers.

With a look in his eye so devilish

A free stay at the iVictory Coast for Tong was about as good as it gets for any pitcher’s debut. The delivery and windup, fittingly, conjure up memories of former Cy Young pitcher Tim Lincecum, Tong’s favorite pitcher and a guy that he modeled his game after. 

As a 6’1″, 180 lb. starting pitcher with a similar body type, a young SP could do much worse than following in the footsteps of a guy like Lincecum.

But that’s not the only excitement from a full slate of games, because…

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball last night:

Tyrone Taylor – 2-for-5, 2 R, 4 RBI. Batting .218.

Pete Alonso – 3-for-6, 2 R, 2 RBI, HR (31). Batting .269. Noice. Al-Bomb-So!

Mark Vientos – 2-for-4, 3 R, RBI, HR (14). Batting .246. It was an offensive barrage from the Mets last night as every starter had at least one hit and a run scored in the 19-9 debacle.

Otto Lopez – 4-for-5, R, 4 RBI, HR (12). Batting .245. Sure, Otto’s team got blotto’ed, but he wanted you all to know that at least he didn’t suck.

Bryce Elder – 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 H, 2 BB, 3 Ks, and the no-decision. When your lone run of support comes in the form of a Jurickson Profar RBI single, the margin for error is pretty slim.

Ranger Suarez – 5 IP, 1 ER, 10 (!) H, 1 BB, 2 Ks, and the no-decision. Ranger’s start would have been excellent…if you flipped his hits total with his strikeout one.

Kyle Schwarber – 1-for-3, 2 R, BB. Batting .249.  You mean he doesn’t hit 4-homers in every game?

Jhoan Duran – 1 IP, 0 ER, 0 H, 0 BB, 2 Ks, and his 24th save. It was nice to see a clean inning from Duran. Orion Kerkering ended up with his 7th win in this one, too.

Matthew Liberatore – 5 IP, 3 ER, 8 H, 2 BB, 4 Ks, and the no-decision. ERA at 4.32. The solo homers to Spencer Steer (17) and Noelvi Marte (12) make this look worse than it was. That’s the good news. The bad? This extended his streak of not throwing a quality start to 9 games.

Masyn Winn – 3-for-5, 3 RBI. Batting .258. Masyn helped the Cards secure the, er, win in extra innings.

Zack Littell – 7 IP, 3 ER, 6 H, 3 BB, 4 Ks, and the no-decision. ERA at 3.63. His 16th quality start moves him into a tie for 10th place among MLB leaders.

Elly De La Cruz – 2-for-6, 2 R, 2B, 3B. Batting .273. AND THE STEALS? WHERE ARE THE STEALS?!

Miguel Andujar – 3-for-5, 1 RBI, and batting…? Can you guess? (It’s .312!)

Adrian Houser – 4 IP, 1 ER, 6 H, 3 BB, 4 Ks. ERA at 2.85. 86 pitches to get 12 outs isn’t ideal, but the Rays played it safe instead of giving him the chance to try to get to 6 innings.

Brandon Lowe – 1-for-3, 1 R, 2 RBI, and his 27th HR. Batting .264. He’s as solid as they come, as long as he doesn’t say (L)owe! When he bends over to pick up his bat. Let’s hope the back holds up through September.

Pete Fairbanks – 1 IP, 0 ER, 2 H, 0 BB, 2 Ks, and his 23rd save. ERA at 2.68. Not a very exciting matchup, but giving him a passing grade is more than fair.

Mitchell Parker – 6.1 IP, 3 ER, 6 H, 0 BB, 7 Ks, and his 7th loss. ERA at  5.94. Another no-decision after a solid start on Friday night for the guy who’s been yo-yoing on and off the Top 100 Starting Pitchers list all year.

Dylan Crews – 3-for-4, 2 SB (13, 14), pushes his average above the Mendoza line (.204).

Freddy Peralta – 6 IP, 0 ER, 1 H, 1 BB, 8 Ks, and his league-leading 16th win. This guy. Seriously. If you know someone who says he’s not a Top 10 arm, I don’t know what numbers or starts they’re looking at.

Andrew Vaughn – 3-for-5, R, 2 RBI. Batting .240. Brian Turang, Caleb Durbin, and Isaac Collins all had multi-hit games to give some support to Freddy KBB in this one.

Shelby Miller and Abner Uribe – both with 1 IP, 0 ER, 0 Ks. Shelby pitched the 8th, and Uribe finished out the 9th. I’m still running Abner out there for saves instead of Miller, but it’s something worth keeping an eye on for the next week or so with Trevor Megill’s elbow strain/inflammation IL assignment.

Shane Bieber – 5.1 IP, 2 ER, 6 H, 0 BB, 6 Ks, and his first loss of the year. ERA at 2.38. This one was more about Freddy Peralta’s dominance and less about any mistakes Biebs made (he made very few, if any).

Davis Schneider – 1-for-3, 2 RBI. Batting .255. When this guy is the lone source of run support, that’s not a good thing. 

George Kirby – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 H, 0 BB, 6 Ks. ERA at 3.95. His ratios aren’t as pretty as they usually are, but the walk total last night was what we’re used to seeing here. 

Andres Munoz – 0.1 IP, 1 ER, (2 R), 2 H, 0 BB, and the blown save (2nd loss). ERA at 1.72. Just a hiccup.

Jorge Polanco – 2-for-4, 1 R, 2 RBI, HR (21). Batting .255.

Logan Allen – 6 IP, 4 ER, 6 H, 3 BB, 5 Ks, and the no-decision. ERA at 4.42. Untimely walks and Polanco’s solo bomb shipwrecked Logan Allen early.

Kyle Manzardo – 2-for-3, 1 R, 1 RBI, HR (22). Batting .235.

Nolan Jones – 2-for-4, 2 R, 1 RBI, HR (12). Batting .219. There’s the sleeper! Maybe he’s finally breaking out! *dodges trailer full of tomatoes launched from the world’s largest trebuchet*.

Payton Tolle – 5.1 IP, 2 ER, 3 H, 2 BB, 8 Ks, and the no-decision. I was cooking up a late dinner for the kids last night, so I had to wait until after the Tong start to flip on the PIT/BOS game. The Boys in Beantown had their own top pitching prospect debuting last night, and although his start wasn’t as impressive as Tong’s, he managed to rack up 8 strikeouts and hold his own against the NL’s best (healthy) arm in Paul Skenes. 

At 6’6” and 255 lbs., the man with the 98 MPH fastball, AKA Payton Tolle, is the odds-on favorite to win the “RazzSlam 6 mascot lookalike” contest (if we ever have one).

I’m also sure that, like me, some of you never get tired of watching clips like this.

And the standing ovation when he got lifted from the game, then responded with the “Up The Irons” hand signal of love to the Fenway Faithful, was *chef’s kiss*.

Roman Anthony – 2-for-4, R, RBI, HR (8). Batting .295. Here’s hoping you rostered Anthony as your Red Sox rookie this year instead of Kristian Campbell.

Paul Skenes – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 H, 1 BB, 6 Ks, and his 7th win. ERA at 2.05. Imagine being called up to start the first game of your career and knowing it was going to be against this guy? Yeesh. 

Tommy Pham – 1-for-3, 1 R, 2 RBI, zero bat flips. Batting .265.

Carlos Rodon – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 H, 2 BB, 5 Ks, and his 15th win. ERA at 3.18. See what kind of excellent results we get when Carlos doesn’t walk a half a dozen…of wait, it was against the White Sox. Carry on then.

Trent Grisham – 1-for-4, 2 R, 4 RBI, HR (28), SB (2). Batting .248. Ok, so maybe you can’t spell Grand Slam without this guy, but you can spell Grant’s Ham.

Anthony Volpe – 2-for-4, 2 R, 3 RBI, HR (19). Batting .209. Unconfirmed: Aaron Boone yelled, “SEE! I TOLD YOU HE WAS AWESOME! SOMEONE TELL JOSE CABALLERO TO GO GRAB ME A COFFEE!” in the post-game press conference.

Jazz Chisholm Jr. – 0-for-3, 2 R, 2 BB, SB (25). Batting .240. That’s three games in a row with a steal for the Jazz hands. Just two days ago, he also announced that the Yankees would win the division, then go on to win the World Series. And we all know what kind of stellar soothsayer this guy is after he prophesied his Home Run Derby win…and then went on to hit 3 homers. Smh emoji.

Edgar Quero – 2-for-4, R. Batting .285. Hey, cut me some slack. It was either this or the two hits from Andrew Benintendi or Chase Miedroth.

Zebby Matthews – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 H, 0 BB, 3 Ks, and his 4th win. ERA at 5.06. His first 6-inning outing in just over a month, Matthews took care of a tough Padres offense and shaved a few points off the ratios.

Kyle Funderburk – 1 IP, 0 ER, 0 H, 2 BB, 1 K, and the save (1). I misread his name as Funkhouser, and I’m proud of myself for not telling you to go to YouTube and search up the Funkhouser joke…or am I?

Byron Buxton – 1-for-5, 2 RBI, 2 SB (20, 21). Batting .269. Noice. More counting stats and fewer injuries? Sign me up!

Royce Lewis – 2-for-3, 2 R, 1 RBI, HR (9). Batting .229. More counting stats and fewer injuries? Uh oh. Don’t tell me Rocco Baldelli had two hits last night, too.

Nestor Cortes – 3 IP, 3 ER, 5 H, 2 BB, 2 Ks, and his 3rd loss. ERA at 5.06. He needed 66 pitches to get 9 outs. Yuck.

Fernando Tatis Jr. – 2-for-5, 2 RBI, Batting .265. Gavin Sheets had three hits in this one, too, but outside of another couple from Candelita (OMG!), that was pretty much it.

Cristian Javier – 6 IP, 0 ER, 0 H, 3 BB, 6 Ks, and the no-decision. ERA at 3.38. They weren’t going to let him take a run at the no-hitter in just his 4th start back from the IL, but I do know one thing for sure. Someone needs to get the Top 100 Starting Pitchers guy on the horn and tell him to queue this guy up for an add on Monday!

Tyler Anderson – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 H, 3 BB, 1 K, and the no-decision. ERA at 4.56. A solid outing by a guy who is unlikely to sniff that Top 100 SP list anytime soon because he’s often submerged in a vat of “Meh”.

Jo Adell – 1-for-4. Batting .235. When the Angels only get two hits, and one of them is from Jo Adell, it deserves a mention!

Chris Paddack – 3.2 IP, 3 ER, 5 H, 0 BB, 0 K, and the no-decision. ERA at 5.04. Can we just start Troy Melton from here on out so we can avoid watching Paddack meltin’ down in every other start?

Kerry Carpenter – 2-for-3, R, 2 RBI. Batting .264. Riley Greene and Gleyber Torres also had three hits each. 

Kyle Finnegan – 1.2 IP, 0 ER, 0 H, 1 BB, 3 Ks, and his 4th win. ERA at 3.27 and…

Will Vest – 1 IP, 0 ER, 1 H, 0 BB, 0 K, and his 20th save. ERA at 2.76. What a combo to shorten the Tigers’ games to 7 innings. Finnegan and Vest have been a solid 1-2 punch at the back end.

Seth Lugo – 3.1 IP, 4 ER, 8 H, 4 BB, 5 Ks, and his 7th loss. ERA at 4.15. 85 pitches. He didn’t have it last night, but will look to bounce back next week at home vs LAA.

Mike Yastrzemski – 3-for-5, R, RBI, HR (22). Batting .241. Yaz mattaz!

Maikel Garcia – 1-for-3, R, RBI, HR (14). What? A home run?! AND he’s batting .297?  I thought he was only supposed to steal bases!

Cade Horton – 5 IP, 2 ER, 6 H, 2 BB, 4 Ks, and his 9th win. ERA at 2.92. This snaps his streak of allowing one or fewer earned runs in his last 7 games. Yes, you read that right. He’s been pretty awesome.

Michael Busch – 2-for-5, 2 R, RBI, HR (26). Batting .262 out of the leadoff spot.

Ian Happ – 3-for-5, 2 R, 2 RBI, HR (17). Batting .231. I’m sure he’s just happy to be contributing.

Dansby Swanson – We saved the best for last (from this game). 3-for-5, 3 R, 6 RBI, 2 HR (19, 20). This was our big banger of the night. Any of you folks that have him active in your head-to-head playoffs can say a quiet prayer of thanks to the Fantasy Gods this morning.

Jack Leiter – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 H, 2 BB, 7 Ks, and his 9th win. ERA at 3.77. That’s two quality starts and wins in each of his last 2 GS with 17 Ks in 13 IP. 

Michael Helman – 1-for-4, R, RBI, HR (3). Batting .250 (in 24 ABs). That’s two homers in the last three games. Just making pitchers’ lives hell, man. Hold the mayo.

Jonah Heim – 1-for-2, R, 2 RBI, HR (10). Batting .222. I’m fairly certain that they’re not shooting Superbad 2 or Moneyball 2, so let’s give Heim the award for “Second Best Jonah Performance of the Night”.

Shawn Armstrong – 1.2 IP, 0 ER, 0 H, 1 BB, 0 Ks, and the save (5). Have the Rangers found their closer? Just in time for him to get 3 more saves the rest of the way? SAGNOF, baby! 

Jeffrey Springs – 5.2 IP, 3 ER, 7 H, 2 BB, 5 Ks, and his 9th loss. He hasn’t won since July 30th (6 starts ago). I still can’t get past thinking of a little kid asking for a juice box and a handful of Animal Crackers every time I hear that first name, though. 

Nick Kurtz – 0-for-1, K. Batting .307. Removed from game and “Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!! Nooooooooooo!!!!!” The official word was ‘right oblique’ soreness. This is not what my AL-Only squad was hoping to see after losing Corey Seager to appendicitis and Louis Robert to wimpitis (hamstring strain). 

Brent Rooker – 1-for-3, 2 RBI. Batting .269. Noice.

Zac Gallen – 6 IP, 0 ER, 2 H, 3 BB, 8 Ks, and his 10th win. ERA at 4.94. A gallant effort from Zac as the D-Backs rolled into D-land and picked up the dub. I don’t want to jinx anything, but it’s worth noting this was the 5th QS in his last 6 starts. Credit where it’s due when you’re facing a tough Dodgers lineup.

Blaze Alexander – 1-for-3, R, 2 RBI, HR (7). Batting .234. 2-3-4? It’s gonna take Blaze a while to count to 420 if he’s starting at 2-3-4.

Blake Snell – 5.1 IP, 3 ER, 4 H, 3 BB, 8 Ks, and his 3rd loss. ERA at 2.41. When you’re a Top 10 SP, even a decent game like this can push a guy down the rankings a bit. And like I said in last week’s Top 100 Starting Pitchers article, Snell ran into an SP that was just a bit better than he was last night. A loss to ARI after two starts of 2 ER (total) and 13 IP against the Padres juggernauts? Yep. Because baseball is weird sometimes.

Dean Kremer – 3 IP, 7 ER, 9 H, 2 BB, 1 K, and his 10th loss. ERA at 4.52. And, oh boy, was the ball ever moving in the late game last night. (More on that below).

Ryan Mountcastle – 3-for-5, R, 4 RBI. Batting .258. The O’s had 10 hits in this one, and still came up short.

Jackson Holliday – 2-for-4, R, SB (13). Batting .244. 7 out of 9 Orioles starters had at least one hit, but they still got Kremed.

Robbie Ray – 4.1 IP, 6 ER, 6 H, 3 BB, 5 Ks, and the no-decision. ERA at 3.18. Remember when I said the ball was moving last night? The Giants had 18 hits and gave Ray 15 runs of support, but he couldn’t get out of the 5th and was pulled at 94 pitches. Woof.

Willy Adames – 4-for-6, 3 R, 1 RBI. Batting .229. Will he be a Top 10 SS off the draft board in 2026? Well, will he?

Dominic Smith – 2-for-4, R, 4 RBI, HR (4). Batting .284. He’s strictly a depth bat in our fantasy leagues, or a guy to play in daily leagues when the Giants are facing a righty. But a reliable contact bat has a use in deeper formats, and he’s been solid as a corner infielder in those NL-Only leagues.

Luis Matos – 4-for-5, 3 R, 3 RBI, HR (8). Batting .222. Here’s the second-best batting line filler of the night (after Dansby). All SF bats recorded at least one hit last night.

And, before the sign-off, I managed to find a nice little twist on our headliner last night, too. Because, of course, someone already created the Tong Song parody for the Canadian rookie SP.

The internet remains undefeated.

Enjoy—and happy long weekend, everyone. Have a great Saturday!

The New York Mets have called up Jonah Tong. The much anticipated, most suggested Jingle by YOU the fans is now complete for consumption. Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, we bring you, THE TONG SONG. #lgm pic.twitter.com/UFIvxVWqk9

— The Jingle Man (@realblack14) August 27, 2025

 

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