So, this legit blew my mind. As you know, I’m busy getting my top 100 for the 2nd half ready for next week, and I was looking at our Player Rater. So, Domingo Santana? He’s top 50 on the season! No, not for outfielders. For all players! Seriously! For all hitters and pitchers. Digest that for a second. What are you swallowing? I was speaking metaphorically. What does this mean? Invest in players with home games in domestic swill parks. Rename PNC Park to Iron City Park and I want me some Jordy Mercer! Busch Stadium is the exception that proves the rule, whatever that means. This also means fantasy value is about filling out five categories. All your Miggys and Edwins are purdy, but you get a guy that hits 15 homers and steals bases, and you’re getting value. Yesterday, Domingo went 4-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs with his 9th steal, as he hits .288 with 14 homers on the year. That’s how you get fantasy value. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Eric Sogard – Hit the DL with an ankle strain.
Eric Sogard looks like the captain of the H&R Block softball team. “How many dependents you inviting so we can buy tax-deductible beer?” pic.twitter.com/sXIp9m7wg4
— Razzball (@Razzball) July 6, 2017
Jonathan Villar – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 1 RBI and his 16th steal, hitting .208. The Sogard news is good news for Villar. He won’t appear in this afternoon’s Buy column, because I think he’s owned in more than 50% of leagues, but I’m more positive on Villar today with Sogard’s DL stint, then I was this time yesterday. Barely, but a bit more, yes.
John Lackey – Hit the DL, which means, if we put our minds to something, we can make a difference.
Mike Montgomery – 2 1/3 IP, 7 Ks–Wait, that’s 7 ER, not 7 Ks. Damn, I didn’t want to take a cyanide pill just yet, but now I feel like I have no choice. I’d check Stream-o-Nator for Montgomery’s next start, but, in most leagues, he’s definitely someone I could see dropping to stash someone over the break.
Willson Contreras – 1-for-4 and his 11th homer, hitting .258. Not a fan of drafting catchers, and Willson hasn’t changed my mind. Hanx.
Kyle Schwarber – 0-for-4 as he was recalled. Before you put yourself in a barrel and ROFL near the edge of Niagara Falls, drawing spectators who think you’re going to ROFL over the waterfalls like you’re Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, Schwarber only had two strikeouts. Before he was sent down, he would’ve had three maybe even four strikeouts. Improvement!
Sal Romano – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.50. This start came in Coors, so it’s surprising Romano didn’t get shredded.
Adam Duvall – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 20th homer, hitting… Guess. Go ahead. Think it’s above .260? Above .270? Would you believe, Maxwell Smart, that he’s hitting .280? Well, he is. That kinda floored me like a half shot of tequila. What? Grey’s a lightweight.
Madison Bumgarner – Gave up 9 ER in his rehab start. I know what you’re thinking, but, no, he was not facing himself.
Johnny Cueto – Was scratched yesterday due to an ear infection. I was begrudgingly starting him in Detroit, so I was ecstatic when he was scratched. Or as MC Serch would say, “Aiyyo, ecstatic after all!”
Anibal Sanchez – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks vs. the Giants. You see the Aints’ lineup and you’re like, “How are the Philly and Padres below them for team offense?”
Marcus Semien – 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 5th steal, as he was activated from the DL. Like a Cougar at a sperm bank, I’d absolutely grab Semien, if he were available. You can do worse, but I wouldn’t expect him to answer my prayers. I save prayer answering for 1-900 hotlines.
Khris Davis – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 24th homer. If only when you draft Chris Davis, you got all homophones too.
Paul Blackburn – 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 0 Ks, ERA at 0.66. He throws about as hard as your grandmother trying to win you a SpongeBob. Though, Maw-Maw does have a decent curve and command. No, no, no, I won’t be seduced by Maw-Maw’s command!
Mitch Haniger – 2-for-4 and his 7th homer. Apparently, he heard how I was telling anyone who asked to drop him. Yeah, he’s fallen to the bottom third of the order, and I’m kinda off Haniger now, unless this is the spark he needs to get going again.
Jean Segura – 4-for-4, hitting .354. Now has three four-hit games in the last five games, raising his average from .327 to .354 in July. Gulp. Whoa.
Edwin Encarnacion – 4-for-5, 4 runs, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer, hitting .266. Look at the big man, Edwin, beat back the Padres. If only the Padres could now beat back Edwin with some Trappist music. Trappist music is like Major Lazer mixed with chanting. “Now for the Best Song of the Year at the NRG Trappist Music Awards…It’s “Chant, Robe Man” by Chanting Robed Man!”
Jose Ramirez – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 16th homer, hitting .330. Not only is Jose Ramirez a top 20 guy in the 1st half, but I’m starting to think he might be the underrated fantasy hero that we deserve.
Yan Gomes – 1-for-3 and his 5th homer, hitting .233. Yan Can’t Hit, and neither can you! Well, you can’t.
Josh Tomlin – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 5.90. This start was against the Padres. I’m farting in your general direction, Trevor Bauer!
Dylan Bundy – 5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.33. I didn’t think anyone could slam Bundy back to earth, but the Regression Fairies are making him look like Salvatore Bellomo.
Mark Trumbo – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 13th homer. Please, just get 17 more homers to finish with 30 homers. That is all I ask.
Jose Berrios – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.53. Well, he’s not sparkling up the scene like Colgate sparkles up my teeth, but sometimes Colgate floss needs to squeeze out victories like it squeezes out crumbs that aren’t always pretty. This blurb was brought to you by Colgate University, the home of Colgate toothpaste or so I think without using Google.
Xander Bogaerts – Was hit on the hand by a pitch, but x-rays came back negative. Serves Bogaerts right for not sharing. I grabbed Rafael Devers in one deeper league just in case this is one of those, “His hand is fine,” five hours later, “Fine and broken.” It was no small part in my decision to grab Devers that I had Prospector Ralph chirping to me, “BOGAERTS IS HURT, GRAB DEVERS!!!”
Chris Sale – 7 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.75. How good is Sale? I nearly didn’t even mention him today and he had a dozen Ks.
Jacob Faria – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners (4 BBs), 2 Ks, ERA at 2.11. Obviously his command yesterday wasn’t great, which is why I pointed out the four walks, but his BB/9 is 2.11, and, yesterday, was vs. the Red Sox. Since Ralph watched this game, I asked him how Faria looked, he said, “His change is legit and the curve has gotten better, but sometimes he tosses get-me-over fastballs. He wasn’t sharp but the Sox didn’t hit him hard.”
Peter Bourjos – 1-for-3 and his 4th homer, hitting .247. His last name from French roughly translates to “Bore the crap out of youse.”
Wilson Ramos – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Ramos won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy column, though I think that’s because he’s owned in too many leagues. Either way, Ramos should be owned. When he’s healthy, he pounds the ball like it’s a game of Roshambo.
Mallex Smith – 1-for-3 and his 11th steal, and 2nd steal in as many games. Hate that he was in the nine hole yesterday, but if he’s running, sign me up!
Robbie Ray – 6 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 2.97 vs. Rich Hill – 7 IP, 1 ER, 2 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.69. Suddenly, the Diamondbacks and Dodgers are playing throwback games from the dead ball era of 2012. I do love me some Robbie Ray and Rich Hill, when healthy. I mean, when Rich Hill’s healthy, not saying anything about Ray’s health. Please do not jinx me, universe. I can’t take losing Ray right now. Oh, my God, the more I go on about Ray the more I’m jinxing him, aren’t I? Ugh, I need to stop, but my fingers keep typing….Stop typing, you knuckle holders!
Jake Lamb – 2-for-3 and his 19th and 20th homers. Lamb! Da duh duh, da duh duh, let the boys be boys!
Fernando Rodney – 0 IP, 4 ER and his 5th blown save. In the Diamondbacks’ bullpen, Archie Bradley has an ERA of 1.15; Andrew Chafin has an ERA of 1.86; Rodney has closer experience. And they say Rodney gets no respect. Puhlease.
Logan Forsythe – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .249. This is funny (not funny). A player is traded to a team (Logan to Dodgers) and everyone is like, “This team is so much better now!” Then that player is five hundred times worse than the player he was replacing, even when the player he’s replacing is a 64-year-old Chase Utley.
Chris Taylor – 4-for-5, 1 RBI, hitting .295. Taylor’s final hit completed the huge comeback against Fernando Rodney, so that’s basically a crime against a flat-billed pitchypus, and that I cannot justify! Though, Taylor is hitting near.400 in the last week, so there might be some schmotato here.
Jim Johnson – 1 IP, 0 ER and his 19th save. In yesterday’s post by VictoriaB, one of our many female writers (okay, two), she talked about why you’re likely underestimating just how good Johnson has been this year. Sometimes you need a female’s perspective on Johnson.
Mike Foltynewicz – 6 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.77 vs. Gio Gonzalez – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.86. Just think about how much you laughed at your leaguemate who drafted Folty and Gio while you took Syndergaard and Bumgarner. What a fool they were, huh?
Gregory Polanco – 4-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (7) and legs (8), hitting .258. Not bad (if this were the first day of the season). Plenty of time for Polanco to do something, though looking at his peripherals doesn’t inspire huge confidence. The biggest difference in last year and now is he’s making contact with a lot of pitches off the plate, which induces weak contact and leaves you with seven homers and a .258 average through a half season. Can this all correct itself in the 2nd half? I think it mostly stems from confidence, so, yes, he could have a better 2nd half.
Josh Bell – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 16th homer, hitting .229. Wow, so not the player he was in the minors at all. Maybe it’s all that double-switching him out every time a lefty comes in, even though he’s a switch hitter. Yeah, I have no idea either, but C**nt Hurdle has no idea and he’s managing the team.
Lance McCullers – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA up to 3.05. Sigh. Fantasy pitching is one of the most maddening things in the world. You spend three weeks coaxing your ERA and WHIP down, then you have one blow up and it all goes to crap. Any hoo! Hopefully this was merely a rough start vs. an injury.
Alex Bregman – 3-for-3, 2 runs and his 7th steal, hitting .260. What Bregman is doing is nearly as impressive as Judge, only in its inverse. To be as unproductive as Bregman in that lineup? Even Marwin Gonzalez (1-for-3 and his 15th homer) is productive!
Russell Martin – 3-for-5, 2 runs and his 9th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Know what kind of season Martin’s having? One where we get to October and I do the recaps and Martin is a top ten catcher, and you’re like, “Damn, he was on waivers in my league for almost the whole season.”
Randal Grichuk – 1-for-4 and his 8th homer, hitting .220. Not sure what the coaches in the minors were teaching Grichuk, but his strikeout problems don’t seem remotely fixed. That’s the most to the point I’ve ever been, though this sentence is undercutting the previous one.
Luke Voit – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Hmm…*looks at Voit’s minor league numbers again* Okay… *looks at depth chart* Meh… *looks at Wikipedia page for Voit, which leads to clicking around the internet for five hours ending up on the creator of Scooby Doo’s Wiki page* Damn, where’d the time go? I’ve said this before, but Voit looks like Matt Adams-lite. I will call him Yoga Matt.
Michael Wacha – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.10. I like the Ks there, but under six innings and two earned with a 4+ ERA is not buttering the biscuits, is not walking the dog, and is not ruling out gout at the doctor’s office.
