We Are Living In The Jo-Ram’s Sick Era

June 21, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 340 Comments

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”257063″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 12″]

I was feeling reflective yesterday, so I turned to the mirror and said, I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste–Mirror, “Please don’t sing that song.”–Pajamas, a hairbrush–“Please stop, please.”–New shoes, and a case! I said to my reflection, where in my rankings did Jose Ramirez place?!–“NO MORE!” I’d figured you’d like that song. “No.” You’ve heard it before? “Shut up.” Whoa, grumpy mirror. Yet another great day from Jose Ramirez (1-for-2, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (22) and legs (10), hitting .291) is what brought about my reflection. Through a 75-second detour through that website that puts everyone’s rankings together, I found out the person who ranked Jose Ramirez the highest last year ranked him 13th overall. Then I looked at where I ranked him — jackpot in my ass! — I ranked him 13th overall. I was the highest on Jo-Ram. By the by, someone ranked Jo-Ram around 130th overall. That person should quit this fake business. Bonus if it’s Clara Bell. In my rankings, I even said I wanted to rank Ramirez 12th, but wanted to separate Lindor and him. Sadly, I didn’t draft Jo-Ram anywhere, because I drafted Lindor everywhere, and, by the time the draft came back to me, Jo-Ram was gone. This was a fun trip down memory lane. Unlike when Memory Lane intersects with Cody Bellinger. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Points Leagues: Mother Tucker

April 18, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Points Leagues | 17 Comments

by: malamoney

Preston Tucker is on pace for 32 home runs, 129 runs batted in and a .278 batting average. I realize that the whole “on pace” argument three weeks into the season holds about as much water as a bottle with a hole in the bottom of it, but the point is that he is off to a very good start. Unexpected? I think so. After spending all of 2017 in AAA fixing flat tires for the Astros, he was traded to the Braves in the offseason where he would hopefully have the opportunity to play in the Majors. Ok, maybe he didn’t fix any flats, but he did hit 24 home runs in 569 plate appearances. Perhaps the Astros felt they were one Tucker over the limit considering they also had Preston’s younger brother Kyle in the organization. Kyle also happens to be their top hitting prospect. When the front office gave him the news I hope he said “Tucker out” as he exited the meeting.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Domingo Dia Divertido! (Well, It Rhymes In English)

July 7, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 333 Comments

by: Grey

So, this legit blew my mind. As you know, I’m busy getting my top 100 for the 2nd half ready for next week, and I was looking at our Player Rater. So, Domingo Santana? He’s top 50 on the season! No, not for outfielders. For all players! Seriously! For all hitters and pitchers. Digest that for a second. What are you swallowing? I was speaking metaphorically. What does this mean? Invest in players with home games in domestic swill parks. Rename PNC Park to Iron City Park and I want me some Jordy Mercer! Busch Stadium is the exception that proves the rule, whatever that means. This also means fantasy value is about filling out five categories. All your Miggys and Edwins are purdy, but you get a guy that hits 15 homers and steals bases, and you’re getting value. Yesterday, Domingo went 4-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs with his 9th steal, as he hits .288 with 14 homers on the year. That’s how you get fantasy value. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ross Drains The Swamp Of Orioles

June 9, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 297 Comments

by: Grey

Something struck me the other day. Luckily, not a bus. No, it was a thought. Bus-sized thought! I was looking at Rob Neyer’s Twitter account, and he’s almost completely stopped talking about baseball and it’s all about politics. It’s like he’s taken “stick to sports” as a directive of what not to do. Occasionally, I’ll make a joke about Trump, but no more than I joke about being married to a Cougar, being a Jew who thinks he’s black, Mike Napoli’s mom’s breasts, hating C**nt Hurdle or an array of things. Honestly, I miss baseball Rob Neyer. His hot takes on politics are fine. Personally, I agree with his politics, but at a certain point doesn’t he miss baseball? He was the one person who I read religiously at ESPN. Might be the last person I’ve ever read at ESPN. The grand game misses you, buddy, come back from the MSM hot takes. Any hoo! Rudy’s title inspired me to talk on that topic, but Joe Ross. He’s why we’re here. Yesterday, he went 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners (0 BBs), 12 Ks. Is it a Mirage or is the Circus, Circus back in town and he’s a Treasure Island of Wynn (I don’t know why I’m in Vegas now.) His peripherals can go either way. His 9.7 K/9, 1.7 BB/9 and 3.48 xFIP are gorge, but his velocity is way down. Down to the point where his Hard Contact is up nearly 10% to just under 40%. The absolute worst of the worst allow Hard Contact at that rate. Yesterday was a great sign, and I’d hold or grab him, but I want to see another start before saying he’s back. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When You’re Here (In Pain And Fear), You’re Familia

March 30, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 467 Comments

by: Grey

Jeurys Familia was given a 15-game suspension for domestic abuse charges filed against him this offseason. One could say Jeurys was given a 15-day DL trip to Familia, but the DL in this case is Dangerous Love. If there was anyone predestined for Family Court, it would be him. Familia was helped by his family’s testimony to Our Commissioner Manfred. They asked Familia be allowed to go on all Mets’ road trips. The Mets can sure pick closers. Let’s see: Familia; K-Rod attacked his father-in-law and Jenrry Mejia was permanently banned from MLB. The Mets don’t use a belt with their closer pants. They prefer suspenders! This is all an eerie reminder of past Mets violence when Justin Turner tried to help Ike Davis during one of his prolonged slumps. Any hoo! Familia will miss about six to eight saves and I’ve moved him down in my top 500 and moved up Addison Reed, his replacement. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Strasburg Right (Arm Flexor Strain) Ahead!

September 9, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 223 Comments

by: Grey

Stephen Strasburg‘s MRI revealed a flexor strain, which is about the best news they could’ve hoped for. It’s also likely not-true news. Teams say all kinds of things; the truth is one of them, but it’s not always said. I’ll tell you the truth, I have no idea if the Nats are telling the truth. Gotta take their word for it, which means he’s droppable in redraft leagues, but he doesn’t need serious surgery so should be fine for 2017 and keepers. That’s until next year when his inverted W stands once again for wince. By the way, why is the inverted W not just called an M? Can anyone please answer me this? It hurts my brain. I’m gonna take a nap. *intern blows airhorn* I’m up, I’m up, let’s do the post. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Razznasty Dynasty League Update: The Hippo, The Bug, and The Raskal(s)

August 3, 2016 | Our Leagues | 68 Comments

by: Geoff

As the season begins to wind down, and the grind of the first four months feeds into the stretch run of the final two months. The contenders begin to rise to the top in Razzball’s own dynasty league the Razznasty. We got a serious race going, with the top spot changing hands multiple times over the last few days. RCL Czar Matt Truss sits atop the mountain, for the next few hours at least. BTW Matt you are a Czar, watch out for Commies old friend. Look at that a Russian history lesson mixed with fantasy baseball. I’m gunning for a Smithsonian gig one day. In the meantime I’ll keep providing you with gushing articles about prospects, dynasty strategy, and PROSPECT PODCASTS!!! I hope everyone is ready for our first episode coming tomorrow!!! We’ll be talking the prospect side of the trade deadline, and some of the recent weeks callups. Benintendi anyone? Yes, I have to mention him twice a post.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Buy, Bregman, Borrow, Or Steal

July 8, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 538 Comments

by: Grey

Craig Biggio. It’s a sloppy, imperfect comparison, but that’s who Alex Bregman looks like. I watched three minutes of video of him. So, that’s like saying there’s smoke emitting from every New York City manhole because underneath are old Filipino women making hot pretzels, who then transport them to the above ground vendors, because you found an old Filipino woman underneath one manhole cover making pretzels. Luke, small is your sample size, said Yoda. Now, if you buy into the Biggio comparison, which you should because Filipino women are making pretzels below New York City manholes, Biggio had three homers, six steals and hit .211 in his first 50 games. Ya know, Hall of Famer, Craig Biggio. Biggio was older then than (stutterer!) Bregman is now, if you were looking for an excuse. Rookies sure are fun, right? They mostly cause ulcers. They. Mostly. Cause. Ulcers. TMCU, for short. So, Bregman is crazy talented, he could be up soon, I would own him, but, for this year, I’d keep my expectations in Slovakia, or even Czech. For further reading, Prospector Ralph has him number one on the top 100 fantasy baseball prospects. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

WD Needs More Than WD-40

July 6, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 483 Comments

by: Grey

Wade Davis hit the DL with a forearm strain. Brooks Pounders was called up in a corresponding move. Brooks Pounders is also my favorite AVN starlet. This sounds ominous for Davis, a forearm strain is not good for pitchers. A precursor for Tommy John surgery, they say. They also chew Copenhagen and call everyone kid. The one bright spot in this dark, gloomy sky is the backdating of the DL stint. Maybe, just maybe, Davis will return right after the All-Star break, when he’s eligible. Yes, he could only miss seven games from now. That skywriter is trailing smoke behind him, writing, “Hope Davis.” But maybe he ran out of fuel and was gonna write, “Hope Davis Will You Marry Me?” In Davis’s place, Joakim Soria or Kelvin Herrera will replace him. Kelvin is much better, so why ‘You must be Joakim’ at all? That hard-to-quantify, harder even to justify outside of your own front office, closer experience. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Polanco Declares Indongpendence Twice

July 5, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 469 Comments

by: Grey

Hey, Razzball Nation, you know it’s your favorite white boy, right? I owe you this one. I’ve been patiently waiting for Gregory Polanco to explode on. You can pfft if you want but his ankles were rolled on. It feels like Polanco has been hot for so long. If you thinking he’s gonna fall off, you’re so wrong. Take some Marte and Polanc and you mix them up in a pot, sprinkle a ‘little Hurdle not knowing who to bat where,’ and what you got? You got the realest and illest batters, juggernauts of this fantasy shizz like it or not! Seriously, I’ve been waiting all season to feature Polanco in a lede. Yesterday, he rained some of his own fireworks on the 4th of who-lie (that’s how I pronounce it), knocking out two home runs (2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 11th and 12th homers), and you might remember from my preseason rankings, this little beaut, “Two quick things: Yes, I’m aware that Polanco is ranked insanely high in my rankings vs. other people’s rankings. And, yes, I’m going to own Polanco on every team. Confession Alert! I had Polanco in the top 20 overall prior to seeing where others ranked him and moved him down a round. I could’ve moved him down six rounds and still had him higher than everyone. Polanco feels like an Arenado situation from last year. By that I mean, I will say something to another fantasy baseball ‘pert like, “Do you like Polanco?” They’ll reply, “Yeah, I love him.” I’ll follow up with, “Then why do you have him ranked 110 overall?” They’ll answer, “I don’t know.” Then my head will explode.” And that’s me mic dropping. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

LeBron Ends Cleveland Shutouts, Kluber Throws ‘Em

June 22, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 541 Comments

by: Grey

Evidently, Corey Kluber made some sort of promise to the city of Cleveland too, and not just to Kl-Uber Drew Carey home any time he sees him drunk-wandering in downtown Cleveland. Yesterday, Kluber went 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, lowering his ERA at 3.59. So, I’m going to get completely unscientific, then scientific, then mix the two, Grey says sounding like Don Herbert. (If you knew who Don Herbert was, you are old and a nerd.) Unscientifically, Kluber will have an ERA around 3.60 this year. He’ll throw a gem, get the ERA down to 3.40, then throw a stinker and the ERA will rise. It will go on like this all year, because that’s what he’s done so far. Then he will figure out if he drops his arm angle a little, due to the earth being flat, it will add more spin and he’ll have an ERA under zero in September. Again, that was unscientific. Scientifically, his peripherals looks as good as any previous year. His velocity is a notch off previous seasons, but his 9 K-rate, 1.9 BB/9 and 3.27 xFIP are excellent. So, he should be better than he has been, and could end up with a 3.20 ERA with 250 Ks. Now, to mix the two methods, Kluber will match his 3.27 xFIP, and on off days, picket Phil Collins’ house with Carl Everett, with a sign reading, “The Book of Genesis Doesn’t Have Liner Notes.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Devon Travis > Goins/Barney Travesty

May 26, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 725 Comments

by: Grey

Devon Travis was activated from the DL yesterday (1-for-4, 1 run). Be interesting to see what he can do in his return from shoulder surgery. Shoulder surgery never really stopped anyone from doing well before. “Yes, Michael Brantley? Ask your question. Okay, if you’re not going to ask your question, at least put your arm down. You can’t put down your arm? Oh.” The Blue Jays said that Travis could move up the order soon, and hit leadoff. No way, Azul Jays! You mean Jose Bautista isn’t a leadoff hitter? That’s downright shocking. I never would’ve guessed that. Shiver me Timberlands, and stockpile my hatch chiles before Trump kicks New Mexico out of the union. There’s been a lot of talk in the comments about how unenthused I am for Travis, and it’s not entirely true. I would take a flyer on him in all leagues, but it takes hitters a while to return from shoulder surgery, so I’d tempura my expectations. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?