First off, big congrats to Albert Pujols (1-for-4 and his 6th homer), as he passed 2,000 RBIs. That is amazing. Now would some archaeologist find old man Pujols’s Holy Grail Goblet Room and let him retire in peace? Second off, David Fletcher went 2-for-5, 2 runs, hitting .310, as he finally seems to be settling in at leadoff. Can we just pause for one second and try to comprehend how stupid I am? Okay, you don’t have to rundown all my countless idiotic calls. I get it. Okay, with my stupidity in mind, it took a major league manager — Bad Assdunce, in this case — almost six weeks to realize Fletcher is the best guy to hit leadoff on the Angels. Assdunce hit Kole Calhoun (2-for-4, 3 runs, and his 9th homer, hitting .223) for 78 ABs at leadoff — a .240 hitter on a good day! Ya know, when they hire MLB managers, they’re not hiring their best and brightest. Oh, and I have it at 50/50 odds Fletcher doesn’t stay at leadoff, just so ya know. By the by, Fletcher is not in this afternoon’s Buy column, but if he’s available add him for average and hopefully counting stats. Finally, Tommy La Stella. What in the holy fudge? Only, I didn’t say fudge. I said the mother of all curse words. Yesterday, he went 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer. Did he even have nine homers in 1,000 at-bats prior to this in his career? Not to answer, because I don’t care, but WUT. At this point, Travis Shaw would need to have the best month of his career to even tie La Stella in fantasy value. I am laughing through tears. Sad clown tears! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Mike Montgomery to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Yesterday, Gary Sanchez went 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 17th homer, hitting .184. As I’ve mentioned, I’m busy on the backend of the site doing year-end recaps for every position, and, yes, even the catchers, which will be released after the season ends. With that said, did good ol’ Gary have the worst season ever for a consensus number one at a position? Was it consensual? “Why ya gotta put the word sensual in consensual?” every man in 2018. By the by, was there a grabby hands discount coupon at GropeOn that I missed? Sanchez’s year makes Cervelli look like a first ballot Hall of Famer. And, if there’s ever a wing for concussions, I hope Cervelli’s CTE is one day in there. Sanchez might be the first person to ever achieve exactly half of his preseason projections. Even his batting average is about half of what was expected. For 2019, I could see him recovering, but I won’t be the one to draft him to find out. In other words, I’ll be bringing out major hedges with Sanchez, while drafting Austin Hedges. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Been extremely hesitant about mentioning Luke Voit (2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer), because I really don’t think much of him. He had a few good games that were amplified to 11 because of New York. So crazy to me that a guy like Voit is amplified to 11, mean’s while, Miguel Andujar has a huge rookie year and it’s crickets. Racist crickets, prolly. Throwing shade like a lamp! Voit will be in this afternoon’s buy column, but it’s going to be begrudgingly. He feels like he’s a hot streak from Matt Adams-type that will disappear in a few games. What’s Voit’s body type? I’m trying to fit a once-round peg into a recently-skinny hole. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’ve got ourselves a pretty decent sized Thursday slate here on FanDuel tonight. Thursday always seems to be a bit hit or miss, but tonight is a hit. None of that four game slate stuff, that’s for the birds, we have a full nine games tonight and plenty of fun to be had. We have aces galore, GPP plays and the start of a four game Sawx vs. Yanks set. The only thing missing is a Coors field game. In lieu of that, let’s crack your favorite cold one and dive into some DFS picks. Thursday is the unofficial start of the weekend after all and what better way to get the weekend rolling then winning some cash?
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Was thinking about this the other day. Bear with me, it’s not fully formed (like the rest of this shizz). Is there a higher upside move than becoming a magician? David Blaine scored, Penn & Teller seemed to have done all right for themselves, Siegfried & Roy did fine until that white cat went ape…But how about all of the 18-year-old’s who are like, “Mom, Dad, I’m declining the full ride to Brown. I want to do this…” *pulls sheet off table to reveal their daughter sawed in half* “Oh, crap. Marci?” The world is littered with failed magicians! You want upside? There’s no greater upside call than deciding you want to be a magician for the rest of your life. The Indians team? They’re all freakin’ magicians! Hey, Jose Ramirez (2-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 26th and 27th homer), you’re David Blaine! Francisco Lindor (1-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 25th homer)? You’re David Blaine! Michael Brantley (2-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs)? You’re David Blaine! You’re all David Blaine! We even have some David Blaine magic for Jason Kipnis (2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer, and 2nd homer in the last three games). If you went Francisco Lindor and Jose Ramirez with your 1st two picks, you’re also a magician, according to the Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. (The other way to look at this theory is only a handful of knuckleheads are actually stupid enough to want to be a magician, and the world is not littered with failed magicians and no one is turning down a free ride to an Ivy League school to become a magician, but we don’t talk about this part of the Upside Magician Theory.) Thank you, Jose Ramirez and Francisco Lindor and all the Indians, I believe your magic is real. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Mets started Jerry “Mathers As The” Blevins yesterday (as a starter; not because the Mets are ‘bullpenning’ but because they are bullsh*tting), taking advantage of the Mets waving the white (person sitcom star) flag was everyone on the Dodgers. First up, Enrique Hernandez (3-for-6, 3 runs, hitting .232) as he hit his 11th and 12th homer in Metco. Or as Jesse Jackson would say, “Kike homered in Jaime town.” By the by, players who Hernandez has more homers than (this is gonna make you cry): Jose Abreu, Bregman, Dozier, Ozuna, Matt Chapman and Smoak, to name but a few. I’ve been rocking Enrique — sounds Enrisqué! — for the whole year in an NL-Only league, but he doesn’t play every day (unlike all those schmohawks he’s besting on power). Next up, Cody Bellinger (2-for-5, hitting .239) as he hit his 14th and 15th homer. I get the sense that people think Cody’s absolutely bombing out his sophomore year. Not close. He’s not repeating his great rookie year (yet), but he is top 75-ish on the Player Rater and could easily be top 30 on the year with one extended hot streak. Lastly, Max Muncy (2-for-5) hit his 15th homer, or as I like to call him, This Year’s Chris Taylor. Muncy is having a legitimate breakout, or the Dodgers are slowly poisoning Taylor to make Muncy look great for a case of Muncyhausen By Proxy. I think it’s the former, but a teamster smoking may not be the only one leaning on the latter. To buy Muncy’s breakout, you have to buy a near-30% HR/FB, but he is top 35 for exit velocity, top 10-ish for hard contact percentage, and 2nd for Barrels. What does all this mean? The breakout looks real and beautiful. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
After blowing a save Monday night, Hunter Strickland broke his hand, punching a door. Apparently, he doesn’t know how to close a door either. He also doesn’t know what punch outs are. He can’t figure out pitching from punching. He confused saves with staves. I can go on. He puts the loser in closer. A fit for all rages. Okay, you get it. He’s going to miss 6-8 weeks, needing surgery on his hand. What kind of idiot punches a door with their pitching hand?! This was his season to finally prove he could close in the majors, and he threw that away. He’ll likely get replaced by Sam Dyson (who got the 2/3 IP, 0 ER save last night) or Tony Watson, and Dyson, Watson or Mark Melancon will take the job, run with it, and Strickland’s literally ruined his career. “To be continued” for Strickland should always read, Moron. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
“Lower the koozie a little bit. No, a little bit more. Okay, now spray some mist on the outside of the can to make it look like it’s sweating. Now rub your finger from the D in Dr. to the R in Pepper. This is romance! For me!” That’s me explaining to Cougs how I want her to seduce me with a visual metaphor of Juan Soto. Or as I like to call him, Sexy Dr. Pepper. Last night he hit two more homers (2-for-3, 4 RBIs) and now has five homers on the year, hitting .344 since his call-up and he’s only 19 years old. *puts handkerchief to head, faints* He was the first 19-year-old to homer at a Yankee Stadium since Ken Griffey Jr. in 1989. He is the fifth youngest major leaguer with a two-homer game (Mel Ott, Danny Murphy (not that one), Griffey, Andruw Jones). He is the third youngest major leaguer to show up at Yankee Stadium and say, “A concession guy offered his wife to me for sex.” (Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich) Not to put the hype too much to eleven, but he is blowing away what Bryce and Trout did when they were both 19 years old. 19-year-olds who hit a home run in the last 40 years: Soto, Bryce, Trout, Justin Upton, Andruw, Griffey and Juan Gonzalez. Betting on a 19-year-old to fail who is already up in the majors succeeding is betting the Don’t Pass line, and no one likes that guy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
And another one! After hitting two home runs on Thursday, Joc Pederson homered in his second straight game Friday night going 1-for-4, with his seventh bomb. That’s six homers in the past week while hitting .450 with nine runs, and driving in eight. Whoa, get off my Joc! Seriously, he’s mine! But he could be yours too, he was a BUY and Grey just gave you his Joc Pederson fantasy. To be fair, my Pederson fantasy involves a lot more heavy breathing, Mookie Betts and scented oils. I usually don’t like to cover a player who was just, just featured in another post, but the amount of times you see a player featured in posts in a single week directly reflects the urgency in which you need to pick him up. Joc is available in over three quarters of fantasy leagues (that’s more than half, folks!) right now and could be a 30+ home run hitter. That’s 20 home runs for your fantasy team from now until you ultimately win your league in September. Joc has historically been a good power source but typically streaky and a huge drain on batting average (career .227 hitter). Not the case this year as he’s slashing .272/.345/.523. According to Grey, “Some of my hotter buys…while wearing a thong… Joc is pretty sexy…” And that’s me completely misquoting portions of Grey out of context! You get the idea! Joc is hitting all the home runs. This is Rock’n Joc baseball at it’s finest! Somebody call Dan Cortese!
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
From Fozzie Bear’s Big Book Of Side-Splitting Jokes (Please Laugh), “Why couldn’t you hear the guy who didn’t draft Michael Wacha? He was Mike-less. Wacha Wacha Wacha.” “Did you see him pitch yesterday? He was reWachable, knocking down Pirates like he was playing Wacha-Mole. Wacha Wacha Wacha.” “What do you get when you don’t listen to Grey’s preseason advice to draft Michael Wacha? An unbearable fantasy baseball ‘pert giving I told you so’s. Wacha Wacha Wacha.” Yesterday, Michael Wacha took a no-hitter into the 8th inning, ending up with the line 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 8 Ks, lowering his ERA to 2.41. At one point in the 8th inning, he hit 97 MPH on the radar gun, which was the point when I licked my finger and touched the screen to listen for a sizzle. Since I didn’t hear the sizzle, I tried the same with an electrical socket to make sure I was alive and not a ghost. Turns out I’m alive, but with smoke coming out my ears. Speaking of smoke coming out of one’s ears (taking that segue right off a cliff!), Blake Snell threw about as gemmy of a gem as you’re gonna find for someone gemming up the works — 6 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners (0 walks), 12 Ks, ERA at 2.36. Of course, Snell was yet another one of my preseason sleepers, but if only we had one more of my preseason sleepers that did well on Sunday to satisfy my Rule of Three craving. Someone who was on no one’s radar for a reason I couldn’t quite understand. Someone who hit three homers yesterday and has 13 homers on the year. Wait, that did happen! Eddie Rosario (3-for-5, 4 RBIs) went Bazooka Jack times three yesterday to seal one of the greatest days in the history of my life. Sorry, wedding day, you’re moving down the list! If you wanna bask in my glory: here’s the Michael Wacha sleeper you ignored, the Blake Snell sleeper you missed and the Eddie Rosario sleeper you didn’t believe. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?