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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”718505″ player=”10951″ title=”Razzball%202021%20Draft%20Kit%20%20TOP%205%20Busts” duration=”158″ description=”” uploaddate=”2021-02-11 17:58:52″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/718505_t_1613066342.png” contentUrl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/718505.mp4″]

The best 2021 fantasy baseball team is a misnomer. Thankfully, none of us know what misnomer means. Sounds to me like someone tentatively wants to date the Travelocity Gnome’s daughter, “Miss Gnome, er, you wanna grab some boba and chill?” Miss Gnome brushes back her hair and bats her eyelashes that are almost as long as her two-and-half foot body, “I’d love to,” but her voice is high-pitched, which is a turn-off, so you cancel plans with her repeatedly until she gets the hint. Sorry, Miss Gnome, I like my women’s voices low like their stature. Any hoo! So the title is a bit of a superlative. What was I gonna say, “The Mostly Kinda Good Fantasy Baseball Team?” You’ll get over your scoffing; I have faith in you. This is the best 2021 fantasy baseball team that I can put together when drafting from my top 100 for 2021 fantasy baseball and top 500 for 2021 fantasy baseball. Honestly, I could draft another 25 teams from those lists, and they’d all be different, but equally terrific… Well, one of the twenty-five would only be sorta terrific, but it would be really hard to tell which one that is. If I took Adalberto Mondesi in the 2nd round, everything after would change. If I took Trea Turner in the 1st round, everything after would change. I’ve previously gone over my 2021 fantasy baseball draft prep for the first few rounds and pitchers pairings.  For this exercise, I’m taking Cody Bellinger in the first, because, well, people complained previously I always did this post by taking the first pick, so I’m switching it up, like when you combover your hair right instead of left. Last year in my “Best Fantasy Baseball Team” post, I took Tatis with my 1st pick, when ESPN was telling you to draft him 43rd overall. Cust kayin’. Until pick 100, I’m taking one guy somewhere in every fifteen picks. It would be nice if I was in a league where someone drafted Gerrit Cole and deGrom in the first round and I was able to take Trevor Story in the 2nd round (which is likely in some leagues), but since Bellinger and him are in my first 12 picks, according to the rules I’ve set up for myself, I can’t take them both. Then, as we all know, once you get into the 100s, there’s wide gaps between ADP and where players are actually taken. People tend to look at team need over value. So for this exercise, once I get to pick #101, I’m going to pick two players every twenty picks. Finally, because there is so much latitude in the latter rounds, I gave myself free rein to fill up my team after pick 200. Throughout the draft, I also gave myself the ability to reach to a lower draft pick, but not reach forward. Or reach around, if you’re feeling frisky. It should still be my ideal team…or not. Let’s see, shall we? Bee tee dubya, this team is a 12-team, 5×5, one catcher, 5 OFs, MI, CI, 1 UT, 9 P, 3 bench, just like the Razzball Commenter Leagues (go sign up, you Big Chungus).  Anyway, here’s the best 2021 fantasy baseball team:

C: Austin Nola (22)
1B: Cody Bellinger (1)
2B: Ketel Marte (4)
SS: Adalberto Mondesi (2)
3B: Austin Riley (12)
MI: Scott Kingery (20)
CI: Jared Walsh (11)
OF: Marcell Ozuna (3)
OF: Lourdes Gurriel Jr. (6)
OF: Wil Myers (8)
OF: J.D. Davis (13)
OF: Garrett Hampson (17)
UTIL: Jarred Kelenic (21)

P: Blake Snell (5)
P: Framber Valdez (7)
P: Kevin Gausman (9)
P: Nick Anderson (10)
P: Rafael Montero (14)
P: Zach Eflin (15)
P: Marcus Stroman (16)
P: Amir Garrett (18)
P: Nate Pearson (19)
Bench: Anthony Bass (23), Taylor Rogers (24), Diego Castillo (25)

I DID A HORNY WITH MY COMPUTER SCREEN WHILE HAVING THAT DRAFTED TEAM OPEN IN FRONT OF ME. PLEASE TELL ME IT’S A POSSIBILITY!

No.

COME AGAIN?

*grimaces*

SORRY, LET ME REPHRASE. I’M SAYING…WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! YOU TOLD ME THIS WAS GOING TO BE THE BEST 2021 FANTASY BASEBALL TEAM THEN TELL ME THERE’S NO WAY I CAN DRAFT THIS TEAM?

As I said in the opening, this is an exercise to give you an idea of a team I wouldn’t kick out of bed. With this exercise, I don’t look at ADP, so it’s nice that I think I can draft all of these guys where I have them ranked, but invariably some buster enters the draft room, takes, say, Snell before I can and this team is impossible to replicate. Out of 1,000 drafts, maybe you could draft this team once, and, if you’re drafting 1,000 times, make sure to take some Vitamin D, because you’re severely lacking in exposure to the sun. For every pick that might not be there for me to take, there’s other guys like Kevin Gausman, who you could wait on a little longer than the 9th pick. So, Grey’s rankings Gwyneth and they taketh away her acting career after the age of 40. Because I just have to share with you this little tidbit — a tiddiebittie? — my “best” team post last year was insane. Here’s my team I wrote up in this post last year:

C: Mitch Garver (20)
1B: Christian Walker (10)
2B: Scott Kingery (11)
SS: Fernando Tatis Jr. (1)
3B: Rafael Devers (2)
MI: Paul DeJong (16)
CI: Michael Chavis (15)
OF: George Springer (3)
OF: Ramon Laureano (5)
OF: Oscar Mercado (6)
OF: Lourdes Gurriel Jr. (13)
OF: Bryan Reynolds (17)
UTIL: Austin Hays (21)

P: Lucas Giolito (4)
P: Lance Lynn (7)
P: Brandon Woodruff (8)
P: Craig Kimbrel (9)
P: Kenta Maeda (12)
P: Edwin Diaz (14)
P: Ryan Yarbrough (18)
P: Mitch Keller (19)
P: Seth Lugo (22)
Bench: Freddy Peralta (23), Yoshihisa Hirano (24), Brandon Kintzler (25)

Giggle if you like at some of those picks, but that pitching staff would’ve been more than enough in an 8-team league, forget a 12-team league! Giolito, Lynn, Woodruff, Maeda? Yo, those are four aces! Also, fine, the hitting would’ve had some struggles, but in a 12-teamer you can make up for misses, and who told you their “best fantasy baseball team” was one where they draft Tatis in the 1st round? His name rhymes with Schrey Schalbright. Finally, tell me you need to draft a top starter every year, then every year I tell you exactly how to draft a starting staff without a so-called ace. Finally finally FINALLY, because I can’t get over how people out there are still thinking they need to draft a starter in the top 15 overall (Trevor Bauer?! HAHAHAHA), my pitching is better than my hitting in that “best fantasy baseball team,” and I drafted hitters early and often. Not sure what I have to do for people to stop overrating aces, but I’m over trying. Shizz is so obvious.

MAKE IT MORE OBVIOUS FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM AND THOSE WHO CAP AND BOLD EVERYTHING

Blake Snell! Blake Snell! Blake Snell! What are people doing? He’s so obvious this year as huge value. I know I mentioned him above as a guy who might be drafted earlier than I can take him, but he’s also been available to me in multiple early drafts. He has top five stuff in the game, has already won a Cy Young, is young and is headed to Petco. You really want Trevor Bauer two to three rounds before him? Is this a joke? Have you all lost your minds?

GREY, YOUR MUSTACHE IS YOGA PANTS ON THAT HOT MOM PICKING UP MY FRIEND FROM DETENTION, BUT WHAT GIVES WITH THE BENCH? NO BENCH BATS?

First off, welcome to the site. Get comfortable. That doesn’t mean put your feet on the furniture. What’s wrong with you? I’m saying welcome because I’ve been saying for years I don’t draft bench bats. If you didn’t know that, you’re new. It’s okay. We were all new once. Shoot, I love that new person smell. Don’t draft bench bats in 12 team and shallower leagues. They’re useless. You’re not going to hold them for longer than a few days after your draft. Now, if you draft a few middle relievers with your last few picks, maybe — just maybe — you’ll luck into a closer getting injured during the preseason, and, if that doesn’t work out, then you can drop the middle relievers without any hesitance. It’s more of a hindrance to have someone like, say, Andres Gimenez on your bench because, then this happens, “It looks like Edwin Diaz might be hurt, who should I grab in the Mets’ bullpen for saves? Hmm…Actually, who should I drop? Should I drop Gimenez? He seems like he could breakout– Forget it, it’s too late, someone else grabbed Trevor May and Betances and Familia and, damn, the Mets have a lot of bullpen depth.” And then Trevor May goes on to save 40 games and win the Rollie Rolaids award, and you end up dropping the bench bat a week into the season anyway. Oh, and in deeper leagues, bench bats are okay (within reason). This does not mean I wouldn’t own a bench bat all year, just no reason to draft one.

I SEE YOU DRAFTED JARRED KELENIC. ARE YOU NOT CONCERNED THE MARINERS WILL PRETEND HE NEEDS TO WORK ON HIS DEFENSE FOR FIVE MONTHS OF THE SEASON UNTIL HE SIGNS A CLUB-FRIENDLY DEAL FOR UNDER TWENTY GRAND?

I slipped a mickey to the conductor and I’m now driving the Jarred Kelenic train to Hype Town, population: Grey Albright, Fantasy Master Lothario. Yes, I’m driving the train to a town where I’m also a resident. I’m headed home! In a rare move, without any major news, I’ve moved Kelenic up in my rankings — find his new ranking and projections in the top 60 outfielders for 2021 fantasy baseball. I’ll be damned if I’m ranking a sexy prospect lower than ESPN. Oh, hecks no. I also drafted my first share of Kelenic the other day. *motions to hostess* “Table for two, please,” looks at Kelenic, fans self, “Why hello there, Jarred…It’s not pronounced like what I do with my apricot preserves? …I see…Are you sure?” Also, from a strategic POV, in a 12-team mixed league, it’s fine to draft a rookie who might not break camp, because waivers are so filled with guys. Here’s what you do: Mariners hint that they’ll promote Kelenic mid-April, so for two weeks you drop one of your middle relievers, pick up a UTIL bat off waivers, and stash Kelenic. Easy and/or peasy.

CAN I TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR TEAM AND SEND IT TO MYSELF OVER ELECTRONIC MAIL AND PUT A RED FLAG ON THE EMAIL INDICATING IMPORTANT?

Yes, be my guest. The only thing is you don’t want to get too caught up in trying to replicate my draft because if someone else takes a guy you want, you’re gonna start scrambling and then sweating and then sharting your sweatpants. Just build the best team you can and use my example as a guide. For s’s and g’s, go to my top 500 and put your best fantasy baseball team into the comments below.