Last night I was thinking about how Trea Turner was singlehandedly winning people fantasy leagues.  Today I’m thinking, can he singlehandedly play?  He was top six for fantasy value already this year on our Player Rater, and he might’ve been a 2nd half player!  He could’ve ended up in the top three overall for fantasy value.  Yeah, I said it!  Top three!  Now, a broken wrist.  Why can’t we have anything nice?  I’m addressing you, Fantasy Baseball Overlord!  I’m screaming at the heavens, standing in rain, hoo-ha’ing like I’m an out-of-work Al Pacino impersonator!  Why can we not have nice things?!  I want answers!  Alas, FBO’s out to lunch, or so says his answering machine.  This sounds like an injury where he could be out for six to eight weeks, but more will be known in the coming days.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Kevin Jepsen – Signed with the Nats.  *looking at a jigsaw puzzle of a World Series trophy with one piece missing, picks up piece that is Kevin Jepsen’s face, jams that piece into jigsaw, hammering piece until it fits*

Anthony Rendon – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs with his 16th homer, hitting .298.  Someone mentioned in the comments yesterday how valuable Rendon has been.  Well, yeah!

Blake Treinen – 1 IP, 3 ER and the blown save in the ninth, after being up by two runs.  There’s a chance here that Dusty simply forgot Treinen is no longer his closer.  Or he spun his toothpick on the ground and it stopped facing Treinen, so he had to let him f*ck him.

Kris Bryant – Still could hit the DL.  That brings us to 99.9% of MLB players that are on the DL or expecting to hit the DL.  The .1% is Bronson Arroyo, who is technically in the MLB but, I mean, c’mon, a 83 MPH fastball?

Jon Lester – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.69 vs. Joe Ross 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 5.12 – When I saw this matchup was Jo-Le vs. Jo-Ro, I started singing Jolene by Dolly Parton, “Jo-Le, Jo-Le,” and then I started scratching the imaginary record and started singing Ahmad’s Back in the Day, “Jo-Ro, Jo-Ro, put on that Bobby Womack.”  My brain pinballs, and I think it was the excitement of Friday.  Lester’s obviously a solid starter, you know him.  Ross is a’ight for matchups in shallower leagues.

Jeimer Candelario – 1-for-3 and his 1st homer.  Since John Candelaria was “The Candy Man,” I’m gonna call Jeimer “The Candy Lad.”

Carlos Correa – 2-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 15th and 16th homers, hitting .309.  Guess how many steals he has on the year?  I’ll do you one better, it’s the same number as steal attempts.  Okay, give up?  He has not been caught one time this year.  Unfortch, he also hasn’t attempted one steal.  There’s a 42-year-old, twice-divorced guy in your softball league, who has two kegs for legs, who has attempted more steals simply because he was on first base and his 1st base coach said, “Swipe right,” when he was Tinder’ing during a game, and Keg Legs thought he meant for him to steal.  Correa was the 51st fastest player in the majors last year.  Not greenies and Red Bull fast, but zero attempts?!  How is this even possible?

Brad Peacock – 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners (6 BBs), 7 Ks, ERA at 2.72.  For you old heads, I have a comparison for you:  Peacock is Jonathan Sanchez.

Andrew Cashner – 5 IP, 5 ER as he was activated from the DL.  If that doesn’t excite you, you have no heartbeat like a stone.  You stone?  I think you stone.  You stone?  Maybe I’m stone.  I stone?  Damn, maybe stone.  I stone?  (This is my new schtick, how’s it playing?)  Damn, I stone?  Maybe stone.

Rougned Odor – 1-for-3 and two steals (8, 9).  I’m not hearing the anger about Odor.  Yes, he’s hitting a paltry .207, but he’s on pace for 25 HRs and 20 SBs.  Average is fickle.  His strikeouts are up, but they’re not skyrocketing compared to last season.  He is only a .255 hitter in his career, so if he gets unlucky with BABIP, you might have a .235 season.  That sucks, I get it, but ZiPS, Steamer and everyone else is calling for him to hit .260 the rest of the way.  I’m not on an island of misfit toys saying Odor’s the greatest thing to happen this year, but a 25/20/.235 season is not a fantasy season killer.  Miggy hitting 10 homers with a .260 average vs. a guy like Smoak or Yonder or LogMo being an All-Star is hurting your teams a lot more.  I’m in first with Odor, don’t tell me a 25/20 pace 2nd baseman is killing you.

Nomar Mazara – 1-for-4 and his 11th homer, hitting .262.  Been about as yawnstipating as a guy can be.  By the by, who’s thumbing down the Urban Dictionary definition of Yawnstipating?  Yawnstipating people are, that’s who!

Corey Kluber – 8 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.02.  If I win any money in my NFBC league by finishing in the top three, and I highly doubt it’s going to happen, but, if I do, Kluber will be receiving a check of gratitude from me.  One personal check with the memo: Gratitude, no signature, no date, Void in the Amount line, but Gratitude all over that Memo line.

Randal Grichuk – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 5 RBIs and his 7th homer, and, like, his 89th homer this week.  You know Grichuk is gonna be in this afternoon’s Buy column, because of course he is.

Lance Lynn – 6 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.90.  Apizzarently, I was suppose to start Lynn over Lackey this week.  What’s more puzzling is on Monday morning I thought starting Lackey instead of Lynn was a smart move.  Maybe I confused smart with stupid.  Well, I won’t make that mistake again (I am totally going to make this mistake again and again).  Glad I smartened up (I am still super dopey).

A.J. PollockDiamondbacks said he won’t return this week.  There’s a fisherman in Alaska that hits off a tee with a pollock as a bat, and that pollock has played more baseball in the last two years.

Paul Goldschmidt – 1-for-3 and his 19th homer, hitting .323.  Au Shizz!

Jake Lamb – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer, hitting .286.  He ain’t no Lamby-pamby!

Jake Junis – 6 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.66.  A carpenter by the name of Jesus should’ve bought our fantasy baseball streaming tools, instead he ended up screaming, “You Junis!!!”

Michael Fulmer – 8 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners (0 walks), 7 Ks, ERA at 3.19.  His peripherals — 6.9 K/9, 2.1 BB/9, 3.96 xFIP, do so little for me.  Fulmer?  Nah, kid, feel kinda emptier, tbh.  FTLOG, with the acronyms!  Fulmer’s fastball is 96 on the reg, but only has three pitches, and doesn’t use any of them for Ks.  Totally usable, serviceable, fine, adjective, adjective, adverb!  But, do I love him?  Meh, he’s okay.

Ian Kinsler – 2-for-3, 3 runs and his 9th homer, hitting .248.  What happens in real baseball doesn’t matter much for fantasy.  Matters a bit if a team is going to trade for a guy and someone you have might lose their job.  Those types of things.  With that in mind, I looked at the MLB standings yesterday for the first time in about a month.  A) The Tigers are bad, and not bad as in good.  B) The Twins and Royals are in playoff contention, and they are also gizzarbage.  Damn, the AL Central is sad.  C) There’s no C.

Justin Upton – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 15th homer, hitting .267.  This is least manic year ever for Upton with no crazy hot and cold swings.  He’s downright normal.  He’s the only normal thing about 2017.

J.A. Happ – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.71.  Happ has been terrific for the last few weeks, four starts, 6 ER in just over 25 IP, near a 9+ K/9.  I mean, everything, just great, and I dropped him yesterday.  Yeah, he goes to the Yankees next and you have to be that brutal in shallow leagues.

Jonathan Villar – 2-for-5 and two homers (7, 8).  But what about Eric Sogard?!  I don’t own Villar anywhere, but I can still appreciate the anger at Sogard — Eric Soangered? — when Soangered is only playing because he’s hitting, and he’s only hitting because his BABIP is insane.  He’s a .240 hitter disguised as a replacement for Villar.  That is infuriating.  I’ll give you that.  Hopefully this is the spark Villar needs going forward.

Jesus Aguilar – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 7th homer.  Buh-buh-buh-buh-BUT this was against the Reds?!  This was supposed to be Thames’ chance!

Manny Pina – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer, and 2nd homer this week.  Catcher questions in 3, 2, 1…

Ryan Braun – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 9th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games.  And still healthy!  Though, I haven’t checked in almost three minutes.  His status might’ve changed.

Jimmy Nelson – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.43.  His ownership numbers should be at 100%.  Pitching is such a shizz show this year, there’s no reason why he’s not owned everywhere.

Joey Votto – 2-for-2 and his 22nd and 23rd homers, hitting .308.  It’ll prolly end at some point, but doesn’t he feel like a guy that could wake up at the age of 40 and hit .300 with 20 homers?

Dustin Fowler – Was called up for the previous call-up that was called up on the call up.  Unfortunately, on a play yesterday, he ran into a right field wall, and ruptured his patella tendon.  Yeah, that’s as bad as it sounds.  No, I don’t want to see video of it, Fox Sports, thanks.

Chris Carter – Called up from the minors as Tyler Austin was DL’d.  I’ll have to ask Prospector Ralph about this new minors call-up.  Oh, wait, that’s right, it’s last year’s NL Home Run Champ.

Avisail Garcia – Underwent an MRI on his knee.  Sigh.  We had a good three months from him.  Next year, we’re gonna get six, I swear!  Why am I now singing All-4-One’s I Swear?

Jameson Taillon – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.97.  Without looking it up, I’m gonna guess his ERA is leading the majors.  Or maybe it’s that Ervin or Vargas guy.  Well, Taillon is a stallion (totally the first person to ever say that).

John Jaso – 2-for-4 and his 6th homer.  If you Google John Jaso, the first suggestion is “Is John Jaso married?”  The answer is no, he is a white guy with dreads and smells.

Gregory Polanco –  1-for-4 and his 6th homer.  Two weeks ago, when Polanco homered, I thought there was fog on the mirror under his nose.  Now, I think the mirror might just be frosted.

Yasiel Puig – 2-for-4 and his 15th homer.  When Puig lets one fly!

Joc Pederson – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 8th homer, and 2nd homer in three games.  I gave you a hard affirmative to pick him up the other day, and he will be in this afternoon’s Buy column.  Me likey.

Clayton Kershaw – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.32.  Every time I look at Kershaw’s box score, I have a small moment before the numbers come up where I expect no hits.  Just this small pause where I wait and expect to see nothing.  Why do I sound like Ben Affleck telling Matt Damon’s character in Good Will Hunting to get out of town?

Dustin Pedroia – Out with a knee injury.  At least the Red Sox think it’s his knee, but his thigh, ankle, shin and knee are all within centimeters of each other so it’s hard to tell.

Mookie Betts – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 13th homer.  Mookie Ballgame!

Hanley Ramirez – 1-for-3, 2 runs and his 11th homer, hitting .242.  I bet at holiday gatherings with his family there’s a lot of, “Oh, look at this, Hanley decided to grace us with his presence.  What’s the matter, Hanley?  Your hamstring doesn’t hurt too much for some turkey?”

Jose Urena – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.42.  Whew, usually when I go back to the streaming well one too many times, it burns me bad.  Thank you, Urena!  Now I can drop you with little regrets.

Giancarlo Stanton – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 21st homer, hitting .274.  Funnily enough, as Giancarlo was homering, I was doing a strip tease to Giancarlo’s Fathead wall mount in my room.

Seth Lugo – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.55.  Sonavabench!  Okay, let’s read between the lines.  I own Lugo in a very deep league, and even I didn’t start him because I don’t trust him.  That sonavabench is packed with more hidden meaning than a Lewis Carroll acid dream novel.

Manuel Margot – 3-for-4, 1 run, 2 RBIs, hitting .269.  He won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but he could if you need speed.  Hey, I’m a poet and aware of it!

Wil Myers – 1-for-2, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer.  Also, in this game, Hunter Renfroe went 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer too.  Know what else these guys have in common?  They are both Padres.  Yeah, I’m a bit of a trivia buff.

Dinelson Lamet – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 5.35.  He knows what every Padres pitcher knows, when you’re at home, Dinelson, you shake whack off, and you don’t let hitters get whacks on.

Matt Adams – Left yesterday’s game with a foot contusion.  His foot was seen putting on a mitten and–Wait, that’s foot confusion.

Bartolo Colon – Was designated for assignment, and it might be the last we ever see of Bartolo in the majors.  I doubt it’s the last we ever see of him though.  He strikes me as a guy that will take on retirement like George Foreman.  Will surround himself with a bunch of kids who he calls Mini Bartolos, will try to unretire at 55 years old and then will make a billion dollars on a kitchen appliance.

 
  1. Shin-Soo Choo Choo says:
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    I would’ve thought Rudy would go with,

    Cubs Staff Goes H.A.M.murabi’s Code On Turner For Stealing

    • Manley Ramirez says:
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      @Shin-Soo Choo Choo: That’s a good edit but Rudy’s wins based on being first with extra points for latent islamaphobia.

    • Duda Want to Build a Snowman? says:
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      @Shin-Soo Choo Choo: Or Turner Steals, Gets Caught, Goes Broke. (He had a CS before the HBP).

      • Cram It says:
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        @Rudy Gamble: Hard As a Motherf*cker

          • Shin-Soo Choo Choo says:
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            @Rudy Gamble: Maybe if Grey hadn’t used “Michael A. Taylor went H.A.M!” a few times. (Taylor Ham, y’see.)

            Uh oh, have I just revealed that Rudy doesn’t read Grey’s posts?!?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              You thought he did?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              BTW, saying HAM is too inside joke is like saying Ninjas in Paris is too inside

            • ha. i skim a lot. often, just lurking to see if my name is mentioned or if my joke got in. H.A.M. does not reflect the acronymatic views of rudy or his warped mind :)

  2. Ante Galic says:
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    Grey!

    Excellent write-up (wow, broke out the old Roget’s Thesaurus on that one, huh?)

    a. Out the door with my son. He’s recovered, thanks for all your prayers. One-day virus, done.

    b. John Rambo Quote of the day for June 30-July 2

    Murdock: ‘Colonel. Are you sure he’s still not unbalanced from the war? We can’t have somebody who might crack under pressure in that hell.’

    Colonel Trautman: ‘Pressure? Rambo is the best combat vet I’ve ever seen, a pure fighting machine who only desires to win a war that someone else lost. And if winning means he has to die, he’ll die – no fear, no regrets. And one more thing. What you choose to call hell, he calls home.’

    Random AirOps guy: ‘Stand by to start APU. T minus 20. Switching now. Analyze. T minus 5.’

    Colonel Trautman: ‘You’ve got 36 hours to get the hell in and out. – So don’t stop and smell the roses, OK?’

    Rambo: ‘- Yeah.’

    Colonel Trautman: ‘Run into trouble, try to get to the hilltop extraction site marked on your map.’

    Ericson: ‘Ready to roll, Colonel.’

    Colonel Trautman: ‘- Good luck, son.’

    Rambo: ‘- Thanks.’

    MP: ‘Let’s go.’

    [Just before entering the plane, Rambo all decked up in his combat uniform turns to Colonel Trautman and says…]

    Rambo: ‘Murdock said he was with 2nd battalion 3rd Marines at Kon Tum in ’66.’

    Colonel Trautman: ‘Yeah.’

    Rambo: ‘The 2nd Battalion was at Kud Sank. You’re the only one I trust.’

    [Plane takes off]

    Colonel Trautman: ‘- Think he’ll find someone?’

    Murdock: – POWs? Doubtful. But there’s people to satisfy, questions that have to be answered.’

    Colonel Trautman: ‘- You don’t sound too emotional about it.’

    Murdock: ‘- Wasn’t my war, Colonel. I’m just here to clean up the mess.’

    [Poor Rambo, looks like he’ll be just another casualty! Tune in next week to find out.]

    c. Have a nice weekend.

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Ante Galic: A. I feel like I had a hand in this B. Nice!

      • Ante Galic says:
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        @Grey: Grey!

        a. Thanks, man. You had a hand and a foot in this!

        b. Goodwin or Tapia ROS 5×5 12-team RCL?

        c. Rank in ROS 5×5 12-team RCL Taylor, Goodwin, Tapia.

        Cheers,
        Ante

  3. Big league choo says:
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    Better dynasty league dl stash

    Bird, Wong, Devon travis, kiermaier, familia, solarte

  4. bossmanjunior333 says:
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    I’m guessing Bartolo really let’s himself go and stars in a reimagining of the movie “Mr. 3,000”

  5. Scott says:
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    Who do you like better ROS: Bregman (3b/mi) or drury (2b/3b/mi). Both of them would be reserve 3b and MI for me. Drury has some added positional flexibility for too. I’ve been waiting for Bregman to get hot, it hasn’t happened. Maybe this is who he is this year.

    Also: grichuck or mancini?

    Stats for both are r,tb,hr,rbi,sb,pop. Thanks

    • Scott says:
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      That was supposed to say (2b/3b/OF) for drury

      • Scott says:
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        And obp

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Scott: Drury… Mancini

  6. Mike says:
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    10 team, 4 player keeper h2h league. I’m in first place but NEED to boost my power numbers to keep my lead. Hopefully trout is back within a week to help.

    My question is my 3 locked in keepers are trout, Harper and Thor. This leaves me with manny and posey. Of these 2, which do you feel is the better option to use as a trade chip? I read everyone’s comments on not giving up on manny and don’t sell low. If I move posey, I could pick up Avila on waivers to fill that hole.

    Suggestions?

    • EnglishMetsfan says:
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      @Mike:
      Posey, hands down.

      • Mike says:
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        @EnglishMetsfan: that was my first thought. But I was thinking I could get more of a return from manny. I’m probably overreacting and watch my team heat up over the next week.

  7. Trevor says:
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    Turner a top five fantasy guy?! This is the exact reason I hate roto leagues. He is pretty much a one dimentional player….he’s fast. A .270 hitter with a .300 on base and .400 slugging should NEVER be considered a top fantasy asset.

  8. Bosox says:
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    Michael Taylor or joc

  9. Crime Dog says:
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    I had the number one waiver claim in April. Todd Frazier and Rendon were both dropped and I chose to pick up Frazier. I also drafted Healy and dropped him. Now I have Papa seager and bregman :( still in second place but oh what could’ve been.

    • mthom42 says:
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      @Crime Dog: I dropped Rendon for Bregman :/

      • golfnut says:
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        @mthom42: I’ll do ya one better….I had picked up judge and bellinger, dropped them when they weren’t hitting early……

        • mthom42 says:
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          @golfnut: ouch, I also dropped Bellinger but just got him back for Wood

          • Crime Dog says:
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            @mthom42: 2017 horror stories. I luckily hung onto bellinger, he’s been my saving grace

            • Swfcdan says:
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              @Grey: And @Crime Dog: Last year I traded Judge for Mateo part way through the year when their stocks had swapped (then they later swapped back drastically). More room in the tear club if anyones interested.

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                Ouch

  10. mthom42 says:
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    Order for ROS (pts league)
    Paxton, the Stallion, Maeda, Nola

    • EnglishMetsfan says:
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      @mthom42:
      That order

    • bossmanjunior333 says:
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      @mthom42:

      I prefer Nola over Maeda

  11. Willlie Mickey and the Duke says:
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    Moonlight Fowler carted off field. I assume he’ll become a writer.
    Are there any pitchers that are not injured and will be in the buy sell today? Lynn or R Hill ROS….desperation hits my staff

  12. Sean says:
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    Villar, you sonovabench!! It really hurts to lose T. Turner for that long especially after he single-handedly (pun intended?) wins me steals practically every week. Silver lining, I don’t have to drop anyone to activate Villar now (was holding out until i had to make a roster move). Would you drop scooter for a guy to help make up the steals difference or just roll with Villar and hope for the best. Top available of interest over the past 14 days are A. Simmons and Pham,

    • Sean says:
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      @Sean:Just saw that Cozart was coming back from DL so I’m dropping scooter regardless, plus I have others coming off DL soon. So a better question would be would you drop Haniger for either Simmons or Pham?

  13. Pazz says:
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    Gausman , volquez , sabathia, wheeler, Salazar

    Available in my league… which guys should I add to my team? Any of them with the add

  14. Tony C says:
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    Hey Grey real entertaining stuff today and you are absolutely and completely right about Odor and Miggy this year. Unfortunately I have Miggy.
    Do you prefer in a 12 team 10×10 for ROS Hanley, Grichuk, Joc, Haniger, Moreland or Thames? I picked up Haniger and Thames early this season and they were awesome as I rode them to fantasy blissfulness. Neither has done much for me in June. Time to move on?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Tony C: Thanks! I’d hold, or Haniger for Joc, kinda coin flips

  15. Uno Mas Cerveza says:
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    Lindor, Odor and Correa. Something about that adjacent O and R in the last name. None of these 3 guys is who we thought they were. I would take Andrus over all of them.

  16. Kas says:
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    Good morning Grey,

    Would you please help me out and pick some of my OF for tonight? Please pick three:

    Grichuk vs. Roark
    Piscotty vs. Roark
    Ozuna vs. Garza
    Dickerson vs. Tillman
    Puig vs. Richard
    Benintendi vs. Estrada

    Much appreciated!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Kas: Dickerson, Ozuna, Grichuk

      • Kas says:
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        @Grey: awesome, cause that’s who I had going anyway. Thanks brother!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          No problem

  17. The Biz says:
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    Happy Friday Grey!

    Was offered Devenski for JBJ or Odor. I need ratio help and pitching help in general. 12 team 5×5 roto. If I do it I’m going JBJ as you said about 25/20 for Odor. JBJ has been hot but has to be due for one of his cold stretches soon. Main question is, is this worth it when waiver options are Harris, Givens, or Barraclough who for 35 IP of a RP won’t be too different? Have Trout and Freeman back soon and JBJ may be a bench piece then.

    Thanks again!

    • Cram It says:
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      @The Biz: Why would 35 IP not make a difference but Devenski’s 48 will? Don’t trade for a middle reliever.

      • The Biz says:
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        @Cram It: I see that, trying to look at both ways, he, or other MR off waivers may push me over as I’m tight in W, SV, and ratios. That type player will help me catch up in K’s too. I love JBJ as he went to my school but if/when he goes cold again he’s unplayable during that time, like early this year.

        • Cram It says:
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          @The Biz: MR’s certainly help. I just don’t understand trading for one when you have capable options for free.