Tigers Call Up MC Skat Kat

Max Clark was called up by the Tigers and the chain discourse is about to get crazier than what was Nancy Reagan doing on Mr. T’s lap. You look at Max Clark’s sprint speed and I look at Max Clark’s sprint speed with and without chains. We. Are. Not. The. Same. You look at Max Clark’s eyeblack? I look at Max Clark’s chain glimmer. We. Are. Not. The. Same. You look at the Max Clark Five. I tell you that’s a jazz band, I think. We. Are. Not. The. Same. In Triple-A, Max Clark went 10/21/.277 with a 15.3 K%. Oh, Mr. T’s little white son is ready. Wait, it gets better, he’s only 21! Leeeeeeeeeet’s [prepare yourself for the next one] goooooooooooooo! You weren’t prepared. In the last top prospect rankings, Itch had him at 27. Feels low, but Itch knows more than I. Here’s what he said this offseason to give you background, “The third overall pick out of high school in 2023, Clark’s a six-foot, 205-pound lefty who slashed .271/.403/.432 with 14 homers and 19 steals in 111 games between High-A and Double-A. The numbers don’t leap off the page, and he hit .251 in those 43 Double-A games, but he’s always been above league average against older competition, frequently flashing the power-speed topside that makes the rotisserie world go round. Speaking of rotisserie, Grey’s a chicken I’d like to spitfire cook.” What? Clark was behind Kevin McGonigle in the Tigers’ prospects for Itch, and that makes sense, but I do think for fantasy Clark can surpass Kevin Mc, due to his speed. If Clark steals 40+ bags and hits .260 (next year), all he needs to do is chuck in 10-ish homers and be crazy valuable. For this year, I could see grabbing him anywhere you need speed. I’m a fan. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Cedric Mullins – 1-for-4 and his 13th homer. He will be in this afternoon’s Buy column, because he’s been in every one this year, I think.

Jonny DeLuca – 2-for-4 and a slam (7) and legs (11). That gives him 7/11? Damn, DeLuca’s got both high and low end snack food covered.

Shane McClanahan – Left the game with lower back tightness. Back tightness is kinda like oblique tightness in that it could be fine in three days or three months. No one knows.

Ryan Weathers – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.99. Sonavabench! (Wait! It gets better! I also benched Noah Cameron yesterday. Hashtag nailed it.) Sorry, but like a storm chaser who has a metal plate they can’t be removed from their skull, I still can’t trust Weathers.

Jazz Chisholm Jr. – Limped off the field with cramps. Oh no, not during his quest for 50/50.

Sean Burke – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.04. He has a 10.1 K/9, 2.7 BB/9. He’s going to be drafted later than he should next year, and I’m gonna be like, “Seems like a good draft pick at 140 overall since he literally already broke out,” and people are gonna be like, “Do you like Bubba Chandler or Sean Burke?”

JJ Wetherholt – 2-for-5 and a slam (16) and legs (12). July wasn’t super kind to him, and June was kinda meh. Dot dot dot. May too. So, he had a great April! No, no, he’s been fine, outside of the last 30 days. Though, this might’ve woke him. Please, JJ, have the woke mind virus.

Quinn Mathews – Being called up to start on Saturday. Itch just included him in his last Stash List (with Max Clark) saying, “The mighty Quinn’s season-long odyssey to find the strike zone has come to a resting point in Memphis as he awaits that final call home to St. Louis. Over his last seven starts, Mathews has a tidy 0.79 WHIP and 1.83 ERA with 45 strikeouts in 39.1 innings. This guy should be in the majors. Also, someone poke Grey in the eye with a fork.” C’mon! The stuff looks ridonk, the command looks horrendous. He has a 5.1 BB/9 in Triple-A. That’s stupid, and not good stupid. He’s 25! I might be crazy, but that sounds like a bullpen arm. I wouldn’t touch him in a mixed league.

Daylen Lile – 2-for-4 and his 12th and 13th homer. Nats are leading MLB in homers, steals and runs. No team has done that since 1955.

Luis Garcia Jr. – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 23rd homer. Asking for Bohemian Rhapsody at karaoke and instead just screaming into the mic,”LuGaJu! LuGaJu! LuGaJu!”

Jake Irvin – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 5.56 as he was activated from the IL. He has decent-enough underlying stats for NL-Only. Like, surprisingly decent for NL-Only, but no way, no-how mixed leagues.

Grant Holmes – 4 2/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 3.88. Might have the best hair in baseball, and I tried to search for a picture of that, and was reminded he struck out 15 guys last year in 6 1/3 IP. Where’s that guy?

Ronald Acuña Jr. – 1-for-3, 2 runs and his 8th homer. Eighth! It’s August tomorrow! It’s been a brutal year for early picks. Guess the good news is he’ll hit seven homers this week. Bad news is, well, you know.

Brandon Lowe – 1-for-4 and his 23rd homer. Gonna draft him next year and he’s going to hit two homers total. Don’t know how I know, I just do.

Eury Perez – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.44. I wanna say he’s having his star mitzvah this year, but the underlying stats aren’t saying that. They’re saying he’s having a solid number two to three fantasy starter year. That’s about it. I do think he has another level still.

Kyle Stowers – 1-for-3 and his 15th homer, 2nd homer in three games, third homer this week. He’s not in this afternoon’s Buy column, because I don’t think he’s available in enough leagues, but he’s clearly hot.

Jakob Marsee – 1-for-4 and his 6th homer, hitting .197. The other day I saw Marsee listed in the bottom ten hitters (by negative offensive WAR), and I thought ouch. Yeouch, even. Some of the others in the bottom ten were super sad too, compared to their preseason perceptions — Austin Riley, Salvador Perez, Ezequiel Tovar, all in the bottom ten. Perez is the most clearcut, due to age, but Riley and Tovar are incredibly disappointing. Both in the primes of their careers and thought to have a decent hit tool. I know Riley and Tovar have not been great recently, but they’re down there with Marcus Semien and Bo Bichette.

Nolan McLean – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.29. On another team, McLean already won the Cy Young. On another team, he was so good they gave him the NL Cy in July. On another team, he also cured cancer. Thank you, Parallel Universe McLean!

Daniel Susac – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer, and 3rd homer this week. He won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy column, because, well, dur, but he’s clearly hot.

Robbie Ray – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.08. More like Thighs Rubby Ray! Got his ass! Not as much as his pants! I try to keep track of all blunders, but I’m pretty sure Robbie Ray was one that I forgot about. Think I gave up on him about two months ago when he was a 4.60 ERA pitcher. Any hoo! He had a 1.36 ERA in June and a 2.08 ERA in July. Oopsie!

Bryan Woo – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.56. Wryan Boo.

Roki Sasaki – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.64. He’s another Dodgers’ starter who’s magically going to become, “Here comes Roki, in the 6th inning of this tied playoff game.” Better than Sheehan at least, who’s going to be left off the playoffs roster. They have some many arms, and they’re about to get Skubal, aren’t they?

Dalton Rushing – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 12th homer. It’s gonna be hilarious (not hilarious) if the Dodgers trade Rushing for someone and Will Smith is suddenly healthy.

Teoscar Hernandez – 2-for-3, 2 runs and his 9th homer. He’s not inside the top 300 on the Player Rater. As of yesterday, he was as valuable as Bernardino, the player who I didn’t think played this year, not the county.

Willson Contreras – 2-for-3 and his 23rd homer, hitting .289. Meh, you know him so let me just say Anthony Seigler (1-for-5, 1 run) was back to playing 2nd. Ya know, he was briefly out of a job for two at-bats because of Mead. So, naturally, Seigler’s not good enough to hit leadoff if he barely had a job, right? You’d think!

Sonny Gray – 7 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.93. Must’ve been cool for him to return to face the A’s, where his career started. He could visit all his old favorite places in an Oakland brochure they keep in the SacTown clubhouse.

Noah Cameron – 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.59. That’s why I made him a preseason sleeper! [dodges tomato] What? So, he hasn’t lived completely up to expectations. [dodges another tomato, but now they’re coming rapid-fire and it’s too much, I’m pelted] Sorry! Cameron gets these Twins again, according to Streamonator, but I will say this as we head into the final weekend prior to the trade deadline, rotations could change with players moving.

Jac Caglianone – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 17th homer. Ooh, maybe we get another Italian Stallianone run. That would be welcome.

Bailey Ober – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.45. Just looked up Ober’s stats and I couldn’t turn my nose up any further. Bailey Ober’s BO is not just his initials.

Kody Clemens – 1-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 19th homer, a walk-off grand slam. The “walk-off” thing doesn’t matter for fantasy. I get slightly annoyed when fantasy sites even mention it because who cares? How does that affect me? Does it? No! Here I mention it because of how hilariously awful the Royals’ pen is. Only thing stopping the Royals’ pen from being an all-time terrible pen is how bad the A’s pen is. Royals’ pen ERA: 5.22. A’s: 5.52. Just randomly opened 2015’s stats and Rockies were worst at 4.70. (Royals were actually 2nd best that year with 2.72. Wonder what the Royals did that year. Don’t tell me, I have the 2015 MLB season on DVR.)