Pirates rookie starting pitcher slash phenom slash heart throb thrash Livvy Dunne’s boyfriend Paul Skenes followed up his much anticipated debut last week with an even more impressive outing going six hitless innings, allowing just one walk and striking out 11 Cubs for his first career win, but definitely not his last. Skenes was absolutely dominant striking out the first seven batters he faced! Yes, watch here and try not to swoon too hard. Lord knows I’m trying. Painting corners like Picasso. Or some other painter that famously paints corners at 100mph. Any concerns about training wheels and never pitching more than four innings were put to rest as the Pittsburgh allowed Paul to throw 100 pitches (67 strikes). The six inning, no-hit outing with 10+ Ks is the first for in history for a pitcher within their first two starts. Sweet sassy molassy! There were rumblings that bro lost his perfect game on some bad umpiring calls. But I could understand the margin for error with pitches moving as fast as they do with so much movement. Still, for Paul Skenes, no means no-no! He was consistently touching the whole one-hun triple digits, including the last pitch he threw of the day. Dude is gas. Straight cheese-mo. Absolute filth. He’s keeping it one hundo! Along with Jared Jones, Pittsburgh looks to have an impressive one two punch that should leave the league very scurred. The Pirates are a wagon, ya’ll! Skenes gets a juicy match up with the Giants next week and I’d expect this dominance to continue. Friday’s outing is all the more impressive considering he just faced Chicago last week in his debut, to which Paul had to say, “Go ahead and adjust. Good luck.” You gotta love it! Speaking of good luck, good luck trying to pry him away from fantasy managers after this start, the sky is the limit for Pirate Paul at the moment. This kid’s gonna be a star! Ha-cha-cha!
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:
Jared Triolo – 2-for-4, HR (2), 3 RBI. Andrew McCutchen also homered (6). You only Triolo once! Unless Paul Skenes is on your team–then it’s every fifth day.
Zack Wheeler – 7.1 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, 3 BB, 6 K, 5th win, ERA at 2.52 ERA. Z-Dubs has looked like one of the most dominant Aces in the league to start the year. The 71/19 K/BB is real purdy but its the 0.97 WHIP that’s make me want to go all Philly Phanatic and sky hump the air. Jesus take the Wheeler! That’s good fantasy advice!
Nestor Cortes – 7.0 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, BB, 6 K, 2nd win. If being shifty and deceptive were categories in fantasy Nestor would be the first pitcher off the board.
Aaron Judge – 1-for-1, HR (12), 3 BBs. He’s batting .526 with three homers in the past week. He’s gotten out just once in the past three games. Remember when I cursed you for wasting my first round pick? Me neither!
Giancarlo Stanton – 2-for-4, HR (10), 2 RBI. Two homers in the past week and up to 10 on the year! Don’t Call Me Mike Stanton is quietly putting together his best season in years. Don’t mention it to him or he might get hurt again. Must be that bat speed!
Clay Holmes – 1.0 IP, 2 K, SV (13). He’s got a 29.5 K%! Mmhm. That is all.
Tommy Pham – 3-for-5, run, SB (2). You don’t want him in your fantasy league–but on your fantasy team? Well, that’s entirely different. I know the White Sox are abysmal but he’s hitting .409 in the past week with two steals, he’s got a .866 OPS and is leading off. Do I need a slap to pick him up?
Gunnar Henderson – 2-for-5, HR (13), 2 RBI, slashing .263/.339/.569. The 400 footer! Top Gunnar takes my breathe away! I haven’t really had the chance to really gush about Gunnar this year but he’s the only reason I’m not entirely miserable right now. I’m really not! Honest! I got Gunnar, ya’ll! Life is good!
Dylan Moore – 2-for-4, HR (4). I know adding Dylan Moore feelings like waving the white flag, but he’s making really hard contact, getting on base and contributes across all categories. What Moore do you want?
John Means – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 4 K, 2nd win. John Means Business! He’s rocking a 0.85 WHIP and 15/0 K/BB! That’s right no walks! Sorry doggos! Moore’s homer was the only damage against him, and he had a 32% CSW in this one. Yes, please and thank you. He gets the lowly Cardinals next week and he’s definitely worth an add if he’s still out there.
Bryce Miller – 5.1 IP, 6 hits, 4 ER, BB, K. The ratios are still impressive, and this was a gauntlet of a match up so we’ll give Miller the hall pass for this one. He does have a scary match up at Yankee stadium next week and home runs have been an issue. Hard to bench a guy like Bryce, but not that hard.
Davis Schneider – 1-for-3, HR (5). BUY. Haven’t really mentioned him yet this year because I’m afraid of spelling his name wrong. He’s got two homers and a steal in the past week and the 12.6 BB% is also very nice. Not the most exciting add but he’s better than Cavan Biggio!
Tyler Alexander – 7.1 IP, 2 hits, 3 ER, 4 K, 2nd win. For a pitcher they’re transitioning to a starter the leash sure is loose for Alexander who threw 105 pitches Friday night. Not sure Blake Snell ever threw seven innings as a starter for the Rays.
Alex Kiriloff – 1-for-2, HR (3). If we break his legs he’s much easier to cram into the wood chipper, so you take the left and I’ll–wait, Kiriloff just twitched! He’s alive!
David Fry – 3-for-3, HR (4). BUY. Good news everyone! Before this week, Fry’s claim to fame is not just being from the past, he has that coveted catcher eligibility! But now he’s got two homers in the past week!
Jose Ramirez – 1-for-4, go ahead 8th inning HR (10). JoRam’s got a four game hitting streak and has five homers and three steals over the past week despite a pedestrian OBP may below his career average. Is that a buy low endorsement?
Triston McKenzie – 6.2 IP, 2 hits, ER, 4 BB, 5 K. He’s been mostly meh, and what’s worse he looks like he’s been lucky to be meh so far. Fortunately for him he gets the Mehts next week.
Jhoan Duran – 1.0 IP, 2 hits, ER, K. Entered in a tie game and allowed the go-ahead home run. Does anyone know if they do his closer entrance video in the eighth too? They really should show it as much as possible.
Jesus Luzardo – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, 7 K, 1st win. Wait, I thought Jesus already took the Wheeler? Luzardo has been mostly lights out since returning from the IL, allowing just 2 ER in 11.2 IP, with a 15/1 K/BB. The velocity is down apparently and the team is bad so this might be your sell opportunity. He gets a much tough assignment versus the Brewers next week.
Christian Scott – 4.0 IP, 7 hits, 4 ER, BB, 3 K, 2nd L. Christian mostly impressed in his first two starts, but giving up four runs to the Marlins? I don’t know man. I trust you about as much as I trust the Bruins to win a home game.
Nick Fortes – 3-for-3, 3 runs, HR (2), 3 RBI. I’m still struggling to see how the Marlins scored eight runs? Nick Fortes I guess is the answer? That doesn’t mean add him.
Matt Waldron – 5.2 IP, 5 hits, ER, 2 BB, 10 K, 2nd win. The 10 Ks was a career high. And he lowered his ERA to 5.00 with this gem. The advanced stats suggest he’s actually been kind of lucky given his homer-prone-ness, and a date at the Great American Ballpark next week doesn’t exactly instill me with confidence.
Max Fried – 4.1 IP, 8 hits, 3 ER, 3 BB, 2 K, 2nd L. Gave up more hits in this one than he had in his previous four starts! Perma-Fried!
Xander Bogaerts – 2-for-4, 2 SB (4). Padres scored 3 runs with 13 hits. Awesome X! Feels like I haven’t mentioned him once this year. Probably because he’s been terrible. Well, if you’re going to be terrible at least steal bases. X is gonna give it to you like that.
Cole Ragans – 7.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 7 K, 3rd win. When he’s on dude does absolutely look like the Ace everyone think he can be. This was the Oakland A’ss though, and he did just give up 7 ER to a depleted Angels line up. So let’s temper them expectations.
Maikel Garcia – 1-for-5, 3-run HR (5). Manager Quatraro continues to still with Maikel in the lead off spot despite some struggles and he has been mostly proven to look like a big smarty pants. Garcia now has hits in five straight and he’s got two steals in the past week. If someone gave up on Garcia early, he’s worth the add because when he does get going it’s going to be Magic Maikel.
Shane Langeliers – 1-for-2, HR (10), 2 RBI. One, two, three, one, two, three, dinger! I love swing the swingggg of Shane Langeliers! Of Shane Langelierssssss!
Andrew Heaney – 3.2 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 5th L. StreamONator loved this start for Heaney. Luckily, I will never trust him again. Not the robot, but Heaney. The robot is usually right.
Tyler Anderson – 7.0 IP, 2 hits, ER, 2 BB, 4 K, ERA at 2.72. Not to be confused with Tyler Alexander. Both mid. Both guys you probably don’t want to be counting on in any fantasy league.
Jonah Heim – 1-for-4, HR (5). Heim licked this one! Saving lives, one fantasy team at a time.
Willie Calhoun – 4-for-5, 2 runs, RBI. Angels scored 8 runs on 14 hits in this one including home runs from Taylor Ward (9) and Zack Neto (5). We should send all the DOA prospects the Anaheim to revitalize their careers. Willie is slashing .365/.382/.577. I mean he has no power or no speed and hits in one of the saddest line ups in recent memory but I’m happy for him! Good for you, Willie!
Kevin Pillar – 1-for-4, run, 2 SB (6). BUY the Pillar of consistency! Adding Kevin Pillar seems like the bargaining stage of grief, but he’s got four steals in the past week so I couldn’t blame you for grieving.
Jeremy Pena – 1-for-4, HR (5), 3 RBI slashing .326/.364/.469. Jake Myers also homered (4). Hey, speaking of no power and no speed, Jeremy Pena ladies and gentlemen. Still better than Carlos Correa I guess.
Jake Bauers – 1-for-2, HR (5), SB (5). He was a BUY! He’s playing every day, he’s got two homers and two steals in the past week batting .364 in that stretch. He’s available everywhere and you have 24 hours to add him. Your move Jack, err, Bauers! Oh, no a ticking clock!
Joey Ortiz – 3-for-4, HR (5), slashing .296/.397/.561. Hitting .450 with two homers in the past week. That’s back to back games with ding dongs for Joey Jo! That’s like Kendrick dropping back to back diss tracks before Drake has a chance to explain his friendship with Eleven (ELEVEN).
Brayan Bello – 4.2 IP, 7 hits, 5 ER, 4 K, 3 HR. Against the Cardinals, too!? Who just like, don’t hit home runs, but don’t worry, Bello can make it happen. I’m over you.
Connor Wong – 4-for-5, RBI. He leads the Red Sox in batting average, which says way more about the team than it does about Connor Wong.
Rafael Devers – 1-for-5, HR (7), 2 RBI. This was a shot, too. Just like Papi used to do. Raffy’s had a very slow start, and after colliding with Tyler O’Neill looked like he may have doomed both their seasons but he’s now homered in three straight so everything’s coming up Milhouse!
Alec Burleson – 2-for-5, HR (5), 2 RBI. Lars Nootbar (4), Nolan Gorman (6) and Masyn Winn (1) also homered and before you ask I like them in this order. Alec’s got two homers hitting close to .400 in the past week, so don’t be surprised if Oli Marmol bats him ninth for the next week.
Tarik Skubal – 6.0 IP, 1 hit, 0 ER, 6 K, ERA at 1.80, 6-0. He’s looking like an early contender for Cy Young for sure, and the Tigers offense seems to score their most runs when he’s on the mound. That’s called confidence in your starter, ya’ll! It’s a very good thing, and if my starter had a 66/8 K/BB I’d be confident, too.
Ryne Nelson – 4.0 IP, 11 hits, 8 ER, BB, 4 K, ERA at 7.06. He’s given up 31 baserunners and 15 ER over his past three starts. Why are you still here? This was almost as bad as a nobody kicker giving a commencement speech. How are you even qualified to do this!?
Colt Keith – 4-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBI. Tigers scored 13 runs on 17 hits in this one but Colt was a standout. Have a day, rook! Aren’t you glad you drafted him so high? Maybe this is the start of something? Maybe Sydney Sweeney’s secret crush has been me this whole time? Maybe I can still play professional basketball? Lebron can do it, and he’s almost 40.
Javier Baez – 3-for-5, run, 5 RBI. Let’s chalk this one up to Manager Hinch gushing about Baez this week. I’m paraphrasing but he basically said, “We’ve got no one else to play and we’re paying him millions of dollars.” Ahh, the vote of confidence is always refreshing. Baez has the same bat speed as Ohtani so this is not completely out of nowhere. He has also had a tendency to get crazy hot for stretches, but I take a look at that .185/.216/.254 slash and I don’t think that’s what’s happening here.
Jason Heyward – 1-for-3, HR (1), 2 RBI. Hey, look who’s still playing baseball! My 2011 fantasy team says hello!
Alexis Diaz – 1.0 IP, 2 hits, 2 ER. Why bring a struggling closer into a non-save situation against the best line up in baseball? Are they setting you up to fail? Are they setting me up!?
Luis Matos – 3-for-5, 5 RBI. BUY. He’s got 10 RBI in the last week batting .412! Jung Hoo Lee is out for the year which leaves plenty of ABs for Matos. Pick him up if you hate yourself.
James Paxton – 6.0 IP, 7 hits, 3 ER, 2 K. I almost fell asleep streaming him. And that’s hard to do when my two best friends forever are mashing dingers.
Mookie Betts – 1-for-4, 2 runs, HR (8) and Shohei Ohtani 1-for-4, 2 runs, HR (13), 2 RBI. I’m smitten ya’ll! You can watch both here and here. Over and over on repeat like I am! Or just once. Either way! These are two of my favorite people in the world. Sorry mom and dad! Do you think if I made them Taylor Swift friendship bracelets they’d wear them? No chance these two go a fortnight without homering. I love them and it’s ruining my life.
Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!
