Can you imagine Marcus Stroman’s reaction?
“You’ve been traded.”
“Awesome! I’m going to a contender!”
“You might want to sit down.”
— Razzball (@Razzball) July 28, 2019
Oh, Marcus Stroman. You poor, poor soul. Can we take bets on how hard the Mets tried to include Mickey Callaway in the deal? It is so Mets to suddenly think of themselves as contenders. Blue Jays to Pirates, “Thank you for making the Mets believe again.” We’ll see how much Stroman enjoys throwing ground ball pitches with that defense behind him. Amed Rosario plays balls two feet to his left into a diving try. Honestly, I wouldn’t be shocked if this move leads to the Mets trading away Wheeler and Syndergaard, as they change their rotation vs. thinking Stroman is some catalyst. He has a 7.2 K/9, 2.5 BB/9 and 3.52 FIP, so he’s not bad. A bit yawnstipating, but in the NL out of the AL East makes me a buyer of Stroman vs. ignoring him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Bo Bichette – Being called up. The Jays know he’s not a pitcher, right? Oh, I see, it’s because Sogard was traded away (will get to that below). Bichette is the #4 prospect on Prospect Mike’s top 50 prospects for the 2nd half. He’s a worthwhile add across all leagues. Yes, even your league. In Triple-A, he was a 8/15/.277 hitter with a 20% strikeout rate and 8% walk rate. Feels lazy to just project around the same, but, if you look at his projections, and how hitters do essentially the same in the minors this year as the majors, it seems about right. Figure 5-7 homers, 10-12 steals and .265. Of course, in a small sample, anything can happen.
Eric Sogard – Traded to the Rays, so he just had to walk across the diamond to the opposing clubhouse. Too bad they didn’t wait until the middle of the game for The Joel Youngblood. If you get the reference, you’re old and have a good memory. Sogard on the Rays is almost too on brand. Kevin Cash must be salivating for a guy who can play everywhere, call him Cash-nip.
Tommy Pham – Left yesterday’s game with a sprained right hand. Wow, he’s committed to this 2018 script where he gets what sounds like a bad injury only to become the best hitter in baseball for a month. Phamomenal.
Steven Matz – 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.32. He was great last year so hopefully this is a start of s2j0dbsn9w–Sorry, was crossing my fingers.
Michael Conforto – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 20th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. I like Conforto, so don’t take this the wrong way, but he is boring eh eff. Hmm, that doesn’t sound as if I like him. Well, you know what I mean.
Chris Archer – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 5.58. I’ve said about fourteen-hundred times in the last month I don’t trust Archer or Pirates pitchers. So, before you ask, if I’d start Archer in his next start, I wouldn’t own Archer.
Nick Markakis – Hit the IL with a fractured wrist. Crackakis! Who plays now? That question is a bit of an open Ender. Also, Adam Duvall, who has been tearing up the minors like the Quad-A player he is, could see time. Additionally, Dansby Swanson hit the IL, so Austin Riley could see more at-bats too. Though, the Braves might grab someone on the trade market.
Ender Inciarte – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Ender is the type to get scalding hot, and, with Markakis out, I’m adding Ender everywhere. Also, Adam Duvall has started over Riley, and homered on Saturday.
Johan Camargo – 1-for-4 and his 4th homer, hitting .226. Was a fan of Camargo in the preseason. As much as Wade Boggs who calls him Camargoadams? Nah, no one is. If Camargo starts every day with Swanson out, then I’d look at him in deeper mixed leagues.
Kevin Gausman – 6 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.97. To make matters worse, Nick Pivetta filed a trademark infringement against Gausman, saying, “It’s his trademark move to rope fantasy owners in and then crap on their ratios.” Been saying I don’t trust Gausman, how ya think I feel about him now?
Rhys Hoskins – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 22nd homer, hitting .260. Also, in this game, J.T. Realmuto (1-for-4, 4 RBIs) hit his 14th homer. This is interesting because his full name is Jessica Tabbit, starring Hoskins.
Adam Haseley – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .259. Big-time cyclops with Haseley, but I’d be jumping the gun if I said he’s done anything yet for mixed leagues.
Matt Boyd – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.94. When he doesn’t allow a home run, Boyd is a top 20 starter. No foolsies.
Domingo Santana – 2-for-4 and his 20th homer, hitting .273. It seems Sunday Santana’s iCal reminders are working.
Marco Gonzales – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.21. Streamonator loved this start at home vs. the Tigers, and guess how it feels about his next start in Houston. Hint: It’s looking for a raccoon-run-over-by-a-tractor emoji.
Juan Soto – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer. Sexy Dr. Pepper with the pop! Or cola, depending on your regional colloquialisms.
Alex Wood – 4 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks, 80 pitches as he was activated from the IL. Here’s what I said about Wood recently, “I haven’t spoken much about Wood. With the #MeToo movement and–*intern whispers in my ear* Being told I can’t make jokes about that. Thought police — one, Grey — zero! I’m not very enthused about Wood — that’s what she said! Take that, Thought Police! — he had a 2.72 ERA and 3.68 ERA in his two most recent years, so I guess I should ease the brakes. If you’re dying for starters, I won’t stop you. I am not actively adding him to my teams.” And that’s me quoting #MeToo!
Trevor Bauer – 4 1/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 3.79. When Tito came out to remove him from the game, Bauer spun and launched the ball into the center field stands. It’s oddly comforting as a fantasy owner to feel exactly the same as the player. I too want to launch Trevor Bauer into orbit. There’s a chance Bauer just really liked the feel on that baseball and was sending it closer to his eventual San Diego destination.
Jose Ramirez – 1-for-4 and his 14th homer. *putting smelling salts under a fantasy team that hasn’t been opened since June that owns Jo-Ram*
Jorge Soler – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 28th homer. George Getsome! No? Yeah, you’re prolly right.
CC Sabathia – Hit the IL with knee inflammation. His knee said, “Have you seen what I’ve been hauling around for the last 39 years? Cut me some slack!”
Domingo German – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.08. If you started Domingo in Fenway, you have steel balls to match the rocks in your head.
Didi Gregorius – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer. Also, in this game, Andrew Benintendi (3-for-5, 4 RBIs) hit his 10th homer. In 60 less games, Didi is one Derek Dietrich game away from Benintendi in homers.
Kyle Schwarber – 3-for-3, 4 runs, 7 RBIs and his 23rd and 24th homer, a 473-foot, grand slam, the longest home run of the year for the Cubs. In related news, Joe Buck called his shot in his mother’s bathroom, screaming, “OH GOD YES!” By the way, for the chuckles, Schwarber was batting 8th. WUT.
Jose Quintana – 4 2/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 4.47. I knew I wasn’t going to get a great game in Miller, but, for him to have a 7-0 lead, and not get the final out for the win is legit the worse thing that’s every happened to me.
Jose Altuve – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 16th homer, hitting .289. Altuve has turned around his season in the 2nd half. Turning around for Altuve involves actual tea cups.
Yordan Alvarez – 2-for-2 and his 12th homer. Sonavabench! But he wasn’t supposed to play in a non-DH stadium! C’mon, you’re killing me, Smalls. Not you, Altuve, this is a new blurb.
Eloy Jimenez – 0-for-3 as he was activated from the IL. Wow, that was much faster than I expected, or as I’m colloquially known, the “All-knowing I that hangs out in Spencer’s Gifts and laughs at whoopee cushions.” Sorry, if you dropped Eloy because you (I) thought he’d be out a while, I’d grab him again if he’s out there.
Kyle Gibson – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.10. Maybe because I’m like a dog that’s been beaten too many times, but, after the Twins opened up the 1st with five quick runs, I was expecting Gibson to gift them right back, so, since my expectations were so low, I was so happy by this start.
Jorge Polanco – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer, hitting .305. Twins, seriously, better go out and trade for a starter.
Sergio Romo – Traded to the Twins, which I think is sucky for my Romo shares, but the Twins are one of those places where I’m not even sure if they ever named Rogers their closer. Did they? I know he acted as the closer, but did they officially say ‘Rogers is our closer?’ Those exact words. I want a formal declaration! With calligraphy! Okay, so I don’t know who the Twins’ closer is now, I’d guess Romo, but it might continue to be Rogers. Please don’t let it be a committee. Nothing was ever better by committee, except jerk seasoning. Finally, the Marlins’ 9th inning hopes & dreams become Nick Anderson, but it’s definitely not set in stone since Anderson pitched the 8th yesterday. Behind Anderson is…Um…Jose Quijada or Jarlin Garcia. I know what you’re thinking, but, no, I didn’t make up those names. The Marlins might’ve though, trying to sneak through a Marlin Jarlin.
Alex Young – 6 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 2.51. Not sure what the Streamonator said on this start, but if he was facing the Marlins every time out, I’d be humming Rod Stewart’s Forever Young. Yes, Rod Stewart, none of that Bob Dylan crap.
Robbie Ray – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.91. This might’ve been Ray’s last start with the Diamondbacks, which is hilarious in a non-hilarious way, because the D-Backs had the same record as the “buying” Giants entering yesterday.
Greg Holland – Was removed from the closer role. It was a health and safety maneuver. The Diamondbacks feared their old fans would have a heart attack if Holland was brought in again. I own Yoan Lopez in multiple leagues, but it could also be Yoshihisa Hirano. My guess is it might even be both.
Albert Pujols – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 17th homer, and 650th of all-time. I read that he’s spent a total of 42 minutes running around the bases on homers in his career. Oh, misread that, that’s just the time of his last five home run trots combined.
Matt Thaiss – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 3rd and 4th homer, and three homers in three games. Hot schmotato alert!
Danny Santana – 3-for-4, 2 runs and his 15th homer, hitting .324. Over the last month, Dannys Antana has been better than Javier Baez (and just about everyone, except maybe ten hitters). The Dannys Antana winds are always blowing out!
Nomar Mazara – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 15th homer, and 3rd homer in the last week since he was threatened with a demotion. Even Neil Strauss would be impressed by that neg.
Jose Leclerc – 1/3 IP, 2 ER, and the blown save, ERA at 4.34. Wow, no Chris Martin, with the Rangers skipping Coldplay for Ball-in-play. Leclerc looked really good the last two months (when he wasn’t closing games). Ignore that parenthetical at your own risk. Dude seems like he might have the closer yips and be a Cuddle Boy.
Mike Fiers – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.54. Pre-no hitter: 6.81 ERA, .297 BAA; post-no-hitter: 2.26 ERA, .199 BAA (entering yesterday). You couldn’t get Michael Fiers if you were f**kin’ Michael Fiers!
Marcus Semien – 2-for-3, 2 runs and his 17th homer, and 2nd homer in a row. Semien got hot after the Diekman news? Hmm…