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In 2021, Jesus Luzardo (7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 0.71) was traded for two months of Starling Marte. This is great, by the way:
Hmm, is it tough to judge? I don’t know, guys. I think that might be one of the easiest trades ever to judge. Especially in 2022. Is Starling Marte still on your Oakland Athletics? Did he help you win a World Series? Is Jesus Luzardo now an ace? Is he no longer on your team? Trying to figure out how hard it is to judge. I guess if you’re no longer paying attention to baseball and just judging Luzardo on what he did for those two months when Marte was on your team, then, maybe, I don’t know, interjection, but I tend to think it was pretty easy to judge then, as well. So, Jesus Luzardo was — you guessed it! — Jesus Luzardo sleeper and he should be on everyone’s team, so you’re welcome! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jazz Chisholm Jr. – Left yesterday’s game with a stinger in his shoulder, which, honestly, I have no idea what that means. The Fantasy Baseball Overlord doesn’t allow us to have anything nice, ever. I’ll tell ya that! On a side note, what hell is going on with Kyle Farmer’s shins? Does Kyle Farmer have Iron Mike Sharpe elbow pads as shin guards? No reaction to that slide is not a normal reaction. He walked away like he was Ivan Drago saying, “If he dies, he dies.”
Kinda insane how Farmer’s leg doesn’t budge at all. Do fewer squats, man! https://t.co/asqKnXdyI0
— Razzball (@Razzball) April 5, 2023
Jorge Soler – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 2nd and 3rd homer. Saw someone in March say this was going to be a big Soler year because it’s his last chance for a big contract year in his career, and I should listen to random strangers more often.
Pablo Lopez – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 0.73, as he took on his old team. This was the Arraez/Pab-Lo redemption series, billed in the media as, “The Fans Of Each Team Don’t Really Care So Do We Have To Come Up With A Billing Name?”
Aaron Nola – 6 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 7.45 vs. Gerrit Cole – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER. 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 0.73. Two aces, toeing the rubber, like two military pilots wearing shell-toed sneakers. Hmm, sounded better in my head!
Gleyber Torres – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th and 5th steal. Would absolutely love to see a 140-steal season from Gleyber Torres.
Kyle Schwarber – 1-for-4 and his 2nd homer. A hypnotist to Schwarber, “That’s right, Kyle. It’s the 315th of June.”
Carlos Santana – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. Smooth!
Oneil Cruz – Left yesterday’s game after taking a shin to his head. Luckily it wasn’t Kyle Farmer’s metal shin! Cruz is said to be fine.
Mitch Keller – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.86. Hol’ up, Keller actually looked good? And only 58 months after the first person said to keep an eye on him? Whoa.
Grayson Rodriguez – 5 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, as he debuted. My boy! Yeah, he’s not ready. Sure, Orioles. Whatever you say. Here, let me make my “yeah, sure” face. Can you see it? I’m making it.
Jacob deGrom – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 5.59. Was watchig this for Grayson, but left it on for deGrom, and thought we were getting a 20-K perfecto from deGrom through the first four innings.
Josh Jung – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Okay, he’s only on pace for 32 homers. Are you sure you have room for this on your team?
Jose Leclerc – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 0.00 and his 1st save. Will Smith who?! No, not that one. No, not that one either. Forget it, I know which one, I was just sayin’.
Justin Verlander – MRI showed reduced inflammation in his shoulder. Cool, he’s just got a little inflammation now. Lowercase yay.
Francisco Alvarez – Will be called up on Friday if the Mets need to send Omar Narvaez to the IL, so he’s coming up. Got all that? It’s like a Choose Your Own Adventure: The Mets’ Doctors Version. Francisco Alvarez is rosterable in all leagues, but maybe not by you. I’ll explain. He has a chance to be a top 10 catcher this year, but if you have a decent catcher, then let someone else take him, you can’t roster everyone. You can read all about him in my Francisco Alvarez fantasy.
Brett Baty – Day-to-day with thumb inflammation. Yeah, I’m sure he’s fine. Just the ol’ “hurting one’s self on a swing.” Not bad for a hitter at all.
Pete Alonso – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 2nd and 3rd homer. Albombso-so!
David Peterson – 4 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 6.00. Still like Peterson, but he was an iffy start yesterday, per the Streamonator, and I agreed.
Aaron Ashby – Likely out for the season as he’s having arthroscopic surgery on his shoulder. Nice that he was shut down in February and they waited until now for surgery. Teams play with the urgency of the old lady in front of you on the supermarket line.
Corbin Burnes – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 9.64. I take no joy in seeing great pitchers, who I would never draft, do poorly. Okay, a little!
Garrett Mitchell – 1-for-2 and his 3rd homer, but it was a pinch-hit situation, because Craig Counsell swears he’s managing by platooning all 17 of his outfielders. That Mitchell came in to homer would seem like a good thing, but that means Counsell thinks he knows what he’s doing and will platoon him more. Either way, Mitchell will be in tomorrow’s Buy column, that is already out on Patreon.
Joey Wiemer – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer. Did you already abandon him? After three games? Damn. Prolly smart. Can’t wait a full week or anything.
Hunter Gaddis – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.72. He sounds like if the least-creative FBI agent renamed Evan Gattis for Witness Protection. Would never underestimate the Cleveland Guardians Old Starting Pitcher Factory, and it’s ability to produce solid starters. Gaddis’s change is his best pitch, and he might be worth grabbing in deeper mixed leagues, but this was vs. the A’s and is still a Streamonator call in most leagues.
Ryan Noda – 1-for-3 and his 1st homer. Noda ain’t got nada no more.
Jesus Aguilar – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer. Jesus, it’s Passover. Get some lift on Easter.
Chas McCormick – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. *dons monocle, puts hand on chin* Intriguing.
Kyle Tucker – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Hey, slow up there, Mr. H2H, it’s still the first week of my matchup.
Eloy Jimenez – Hit the IL with a hamstring strain. As our frequent commenter, Duda Want to Build a Snowman?, said perfectly, “So this is what it feels like to see Eloy injury news and not own him. Interesting.” Don’t want to put it out on Main, but LouBob will be hurt soon too, and that won’t feel bad either.
Liam Hendriks – Announced he is cancer-free. He made quick-work of that cancer. Can they give the Comeback Player of the Year award for someone who only misses one month? Asking for Liam Hendriks. He’s gonna be back by May 1st, and I did not see that coming. Liam Hendriks treats cancer like Liam Neeson treats kidnappers.
Dylan Cease – 5 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners (5 BBs), 8 Ks, ERA at 1.59 vs. Logan Webb – 5 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 6.55. My Spidey sense says Webb was unlucky. My Spidey sense only works on Webb.
J.D. Davis – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer. Have talked about how I want to see Casey Schmitt called up to play 3rd for the Giants, but Jonathan Davis Davis is likely their best 3rd baseman, even if they keep going to Villar.
Logan O’Hoppe – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. O’Hoppe about to out-catcher J.T. Realmuto on the Player Rater, then next year people are gonna be like, “Why wouldn’t I draft Will Smith in the top 30 overall?” Learning literally nothing ever.
Jose Quijada – 1 IP, 0 ER, and his 1st save. Phil Nevin, the head moron on the Cruise Ship to an iceberg that is the Angels, says Carlos Estevez was getting an extra day of rest and he is the closer.
Shohei Ohtani – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 0.75. So, this is what it feels like when you have him as a hitter on the day he pitches? Not great, Bob!
Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – 3-for-4, 2 runs and his 1st homer. Cake Batter backing that thing up and outta here!
Alek Manoah – 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 4 walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.35. Oh thank God! I was pretty concerned after his velocity was down and his first start. Four walks vs. five Ks isn’t all the way back, but I do need him to be at least a hang-wit-em number two at worse.
Wander Franco – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Wanglorious. Should’ve went back in on Wander this year in a much bigger way. Alas, your boy does dumb things in his head sometimes.
Matt Olson – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Don’t forget my very random preseason prediction that I said I’d only mention again if it looked good: Olson for NL MVP.
Bryce Elder – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks. Wait, but Dylan Dodd is this year’s Touki-Wright-Ian. You can’t have two of them.
Miles Mikolas – 6 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 9.64. So, I’m pretty concerned. With the shift ending, and the bouncy balls maybe back, Mikolas does not equate to a good safe starter anymore. Guys without Ks might go back to struggling. Well, everyone but Alcantara. For what it’s Cronenworth, Streamonator did hate Mikolas’s start yesterday.
Jordan Walker – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. Standing in a bar, watching Walker’s home run, whispering to no one, “That’s my father.”
Tyler O’Neill – 0-for-1 as a pinch-hitter, as he was benched yesterday for supposedly not hustling on Tuesday, but that’s even debatable from the angles I’ve seen. But, even if you think, O’Neill was dogging it, now the Cardinals are screwing the pooch, and O’Neill’s in the doghouse. You can already see O’Neill being traded in July for a middle reliever, then becoming an All-Star outfielder for another team next year. Not like that’s never happened before for the Cards.
“Now your American League All-Stars in the outfield!
…Randy Arozarena!…
…Adolis Garcia!
…and…
…. Aaron Judge! But coming off the bench is Tyler O’Neill.”
