The Reds put on a hit parade Friday night scoring 15 runs on 20 hits lead by Jose Peraza who went 4-for-6 with two home runs, and two runs batted in. It was only a matter of time before this offense woke up. And by this offense, of course I mean Joey Votto who was 3-for-3, with his fourth homer. Eduardo Suarez was also 4-for-6 with two runs and an RBI, Scooter Gennett had three hits, and Scott Schebler and Adam Duvall added two hits a piece. Votto has now homered in in his fourth straight game, and I bet you’re thinking to yourself, “Self, I thought this lede was about Peraza, not the Reds bats and Votto.” Silence, knave! It all starts with Votto, whom Peraza hits in front of, and I can’t very well tell you to buy Votto now, unless his owner’s been in a coma for the past four days and is ready to trade immediately after waking up. That seems unlikely. But with Jose’s ownership at just 20%, it seems more likely he’s still available in your league. He’s hit safely in five straight games hitting .387 with the two dingers, nine runs and a steal in the past week and has quietly raised his average to .286. After hitting .259 last year with 23 steals he was a popular sleeper pick because of his speed. However, the .719 OPS is a whole lot of meh and I’d like to see him stealing a lot more bases before I fully endorse him as a buy, but I’m watching him closer than the darkest moments of Avengers Infinity War. You don’t need Tony Stark’s super intelligence or the Vision’s, uh, err, vision to see that Jose Peraza could be worth a look.
Here’s what else I saw Friday in fantasy baseball:
Luis Castillo – 1.0 IP, 6 hits, 5 ER, 2 BB. Still a buy low or nah? H*ck yeah, I’m still buying! I’m CRAZY like that! We’ve now seen Luis’ floor, just imagine what his ceiling must be like!? Wowowow! Sistine chapel as f!
Yu Darvish – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 8 K. “I shall banish you to Chicago where you’ll never win again! Mwahahaha!” — Evil Fantasy Overlord, probably
Francisco Lindor – 3-for-5, HR (4). Lindo is batting .320 with five runs, two homers and a steal in the past week. He also reached out to the Chippewas Indian tribe about joining them in their prayer circle and smoke-om their peace pipe so the Indians can win 20 games in a row again.
Corey Kluber – 8.2 IP, 4 hits, 3 ER, 3 BB, 10 K, 4th win. Rocking a 2.18 ERA and 47/9 K/BB, Corey knows what I’m talking about. Be nice to the Chippewas! Time for a pow wow, I’ll bring the corn chips.
Mitch Haniger – 2-for-3, HR (9). Now starring in The Hanigers Infinity WAR–that was honestly my best/laziest attempt to shove this movie reference into the blog this week TWICE. Need them juicy clicks, bb! His 1.4 WAR isn’t even that impressive. However, the .307/.382/.682 slash and the nine homers and 26 RBI is impressive. No spoilers but Mitch could hit 35 homers this year. Also, Black Panther dies.
Michael Brantley – 3-for-3, HR (2), 2 RBI. Sorry to psyche out any of you here to read all about Brantley, but this blurb is more about talking down Erasmo Ramirez who gave up five homers Friday in the first inning with Edwin Encarnacion, Yonder Alonso and Yan Gomes also going deep. Welp. Don’t jump Erasmo. The good news is the M’s don’t really have anyone else to replace you. The bad news is, the Black Panther dies!
Justin Smoak – 4-for-4, RBI. Smoak Monster! Remember the real Smoke Monster–like, from LOST? Yeah, me neither.
Marcus Stroman – 5.1 IP, 8 hits, 6 ER, BB, 4 K. More like Infinity WHIP. Lol, right? Two years ago Stroman was my ace, now I don’t know if I’d even softly touch him in a best-friend-I’ve-always-secretly-loved sort of way. Buy low? Well, I guess you can probably get him real cheap. I will give you my best catcher and my worst closer.
Keone Kela – 1.0 IP, K, SV (5). Speaking of worst closers!–Kela needs to be owned everywhere!
Joey Gallo – 2-for-4, HR (8). Batting almost .440 with multiple homers and a steal in the past week!? As far as Joey ownership goes, this is peak of the Gallo! Mmm, spicy!
Nomar Mazara – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBI. As a New Englander, I am required to have blind unrequited love for all players and persons named Nomar.
Julio Teheran – 3.0 IP, 2 hits, 3 ER, 2 BB, 2 K. Left the game, after possibly Teheran something, likely heading for the DL. I’m sorry this happened to you.
Freddie Freeman – 2-for-4, run, RBI, SB (2). One week ago I thought he broke his wrist. This is way better.
Ronald Acuna – 2-for-4, RBI. When u meet ur soul mate 4 the first time n somethin jus clicks. And u jus know. Oh goodness. I’m all flustered. Watching his muscles bulging as he lifts my team on his back and carries us. Carry me, Ronald! Glad I held onto this guy for three weeks. Now time for him to hold me. Let’s hold each other. #neverletgo
Odubel Herrera – 2-for-4, 2 HR (3), 4 RBI. The .348/.392/.528 slash is mighty nice, and two homers in the past week for Odie. Hope he stays hot before Garfield ships him off the Abu Dhabi.
Aaron Nola – 7.0 IP, 7 hits, 3 ER, BB, 4 K, 3rd win. “Who dat? Who dat? Who dat say they gonna beat Aaron Nola?” Get it? Because NOLA. Sho’ nuff, reckon Philly a lot like N’awlins on account of the booze smell and the excessive riff raff. Aaron gets the Marlins next week which is about as dawlin’ as a king cake.
Tyler Anderson – 1.1 IP, hit, BB, K. I came so close to streaming him but I truly believe there was some divine intervention. Thank you, Xenu! Thank you, Bhagwan! Thank you, Friday early first pitches!
Jose Urena – 7.0 IP, 6 hits, ER, BB, 5 K, 4th loss. Pitched his best start of the year and still managed to lose, Marlins Baseball, ya’ll! It’s SAD! Let ’em hear it Logic: We just want to lose. We just want to loooooose. I don’t want to win anymore. We just want to play baaaad.
Mookie Betts – 2-for-3, 2 runs, RBI, SB (3). Mmmookie. Me and MB were partying about town last night (like we are wont to do), bar-hopping, reeking havoc, and mack-ing fly honeys, etc. etc. When he stole that base we cheered so loud and hugged so hard, the bartender thought we were brothers. That’s when I realized the man I had been hugging and buying drinks for all night was not the man on TV stealing second at all but some stranger in a Sawx hat. Sigh. I have to stop assuming everyone in a baseball hat is a professional athlete. Rain check, Mookie!
Xander Bogaerts – 3-for-4. Awesome X! Back from the DL without missing a beat! While he was recovering me and Xander played a lot of Fortnite together. We’d get down to the final two then I’d sacrific myself so X can win. Xander said it’s more fun to play this way and who am I to question him!
Drew Pomeranz – 5.0 IP, 6 hits, 4 ER, 2 BB, 4 K. Big Not-So-Smooth. Let one hang to Wilson Ramos for a homer and basically ruined his night. I’d definitely give him another shot versus Kansas City next week if he’s available.
Blake Snell – 7.1 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, BB, 9 K, 4th win. All’s well that ends Snell as Blake dominates the Sawx potent offense. He’s got a 24/1 K/BB over his past three starts. Sweet sassy molassy! Snell is my ace basically, and somehow I’m OK with that.
C.J. Cron – 2-for-3, run. Cron Air was a BUY! Something about distance from Mike Scioscia over time equals profit.
Daniel Robertson – 2-for-3, HR (3). Remember the Devil Rays, you guys? The team everyone wrote off for losing 8 of their first 10 games, going with a crazy four man rotation, and trading all their best players away. Yeah, they’ve won seven games in a row. Probably because of D-Rob. No, not that D-Rob, Dan-Rob. He’s slashing .364/.507/.636 with four straight multi-hit games including homers in two of those. He’s also batting .579 in the past week and is available in about 90% of leagues. Even with Duffy’s return, Dan-Rob is forcing Skip’s hand and should continue to see time until he cools down.
Sean Manaea – 7.0 IP, 0 ER, 4 hits, BB, 7 K, 4th win. Manaea didn’t give up a hit until the 4th inning, which was some kind of record for longest consecutive no-hit innings for an Oakland pitcher named Sean. I don’t remember. Regardless, dude is a stud and the best Sean pitching right now. Opponents are hitting just .134 off him and his 1.03 ERA and 0.62 WHIP are what fantasy dreams are made of.
Dallas Keuchel – 7.0 IP, 7 hits, 6 ER, 3 K. Gave up homers to Matt Chapman, Pinder and Mark Canha. One of these players was a BUY, I won’t tell you which one (not Keuchel) you’ll have to click on the link (that’s the blue underlined text) to find out!
Chad Pinder – 2-for-4, HR (2), 2 RBI. Pinder has now hit safely in four straight. Pinder? I hardly know her!
Marcus Semien – 2-for-4, 2 runs. Oh hey! Another BUY. It’s for Marcus Semien. That one I’ll give you.
Howie Kendrick – 3-for-5, HR (3), 2 RBI. Howie’s hotter than a KDot album! DAMN. That bat stroke just went viraaaaaaaal! AYYY. No one AYYYs like Kendrick, folks. Know this. Also, I need more Kendrick music. I know we got the album a year ago and the Collector’s Edition 6 months ago and the Black Panther soundtrack 3 months ago, but–don’t kill my vibe, I need more Kendrick, people! AYYYYY!
A.J. Pollock – 3-for-4, HR (6), 2 RBI. I was at a cocktail hour at the MFA a few nights ago (which is a thing white people do to meet other people) and I bragged to a fine as h*ck shawty that I owned a Pollock. Needless to say, she was impressed, fast forward, I played Fortnite all night.
Miles Mikolas – 7.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 7 K. The 3.27 ERA is nice, but the 27/2 K/BB is what got me all Vanessa Carlton on Mikolas! W o a h! 1000 Miles! Can you imagine the K-to-walk!? *swoons*
Greg Holland – 0.0 IP, 3 hits, 3 ER, BS. Don’t drop your Bud Norris’ just yet! They have them with orange flavoring now!
Jedd Gyorko – 1-for-3, HR (2). I’d be a Gyorko to tell you to buy after all the times he’s burned me and you, but I’d be an even bigger Gyorko if I didn’t tell you he has two homers in his past three games.
Gregory Polanco – 2-for-6, HR (6). One fantasy site that’s not razzball (I know, there are others, gasp!) suggested the buy low window is closing on Polanco. I’m not so sure I’d go as far as to buy Polanco? I might prop the buy window open a little longer with a book to make sure it doesn’t fall though. It others words, I’m happy I own him where I do, but I’m not clamoring to own him everywhere else.
Danny Duffy – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 4 ER, BB 3 K. I dropped him! And you know what? It felt good, you guys. It felt real good.
Matt Davidson – 3-for-5, 2 HR (9), 3 RBI. His second straight multi-homer game. That’s four in two days if you cannot math good. The best statz I can share is that seven of his nine ding dongs have come against the Royals. El. Oh. El. AL Central may be his happy place, but I wish Matt Davidson were on the A’s if only to make that lineup even more confusing. All the Matts!
Joakim Soria – 1.0 IP, hit, SV (4). Saves in back-to-back games. Sounds like he’s the closer to me. Chainsmokers featuring Halsey? That sounds like “Closer” to me.
Mike Moustakas – 2-for-6, 2 runs, HR (8). Tell me why the Yankees weren’t interested in signing Moose again?
Manny Machado – 2-for-3, HR (9), 2 RBI. Oh right…
Pedro Alvarez – 2-for-3, 2 HR (4), 3 RBI. Is it sad that I remember every moment Pedro Alvarez has homered this year? It is? Yeah, I thought so.
Chris Tillman – 7.0 IP, 1 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 1st win. W for the Tillman. If you understood that Cat Stevens reference, you’re probably way too old to be reading this blog.
Jace Peterson – 2-for-4, run, RBI, SB (2). Filling in for the injured Jonathan Schoop in this STACKED O’s lineup, Jace has stolen a base in back-to-back games. Baltimore is a pretty good place to start if you need a source for cheap speed. Jace could be a much safer source than some others on the corners until Schoop returns.
Logan Morrison – 2-for-5, HR (2), 3 RBI. I wrote about his first homer two weeks ago. Or was it last week? He’s hitting .134 so I guess it doesn’t really matter.
Eddie Rosario – 2-for-5, HR (3), 2 RBI. Whatever LoMo’s got, Eddie’s caught it, too.
Jacob deGrom – 7.1 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, 3 BB, 8 K, 3rd win. If you study the Letters of Telios deGrom, and compare it to your reread of the Waste Land by T.S. Eliot, there are minor clues in the subtext that Jacob would notch his third win of the 27 of Abril, the cruellest month. Breeding. Out in the dead land. Mixing. Or did you not catch that on your third read through?
Franchy Cordero – 2-for-4, HR (5). Sacre bleu!
Hyun-Jin Ryu – 5.2 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, 7 K. Shoryuken! Take out that first start of the season and he’s been practically unhittable. Ryu’s been so hot Nicki Minaj is ready to drop a new single about him.
Luis Severino – 7.0 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER, BB, 8 K. Luis, Luis, Luis, Luiiiiiiiiis…I remember when I owned you everywhere last year but you’ve outgrown me. Don’t you understand? You’re too good for me to own now. Severino holds a 2.61 ERA, a 0.89 WHIP with a 42/11 K/BB. Yousa bonafide ace. Yup. You’re too good for me, boo!
Didi Gregorius – 3-for-5, 2 runs, HR (10). Five homers in the past week! Doode is the hottest little NYC City slice right now. I always think Sanchez doesn’t get enough credit within this monster line up, but maybe it’s been Didi all along who’s underrated. When you’re overshadowing Judge, Stanton, AND Gary, you’re probably gonna have a good time. And the best part is not a single Yankee fan misses Derek Jeter right now.
Andrew Heaney – 5.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, BB, 9 K. I wanted to tell you to buy Heaney a few weeks ago, but he sort blew up in the 6th. Then again last week but he couldn’t make it five innings. What does this tell us? Heaney has been pitching on Friday a lot and not very consistently. That 22/4 K/B tho!
Kenyan Middleton – 1.0 IP, 1 hit, ER, 2 BB, K. BS. Is he still closer!? Tbh (which is a really hot acronym rn) no job is safe as long as Trump is president! Yeah, I don’t usually like to get all political, but if Kanye’s doing its probably time for me to do it too. Are we really surprised that Kanye likes Trump, they are basically the same person–only one of them is President. Admittedly, the ego thing works a whole lot better for rappers.
Shohei Ohtani – 1-for-2, HR (4). Left the game with an ankle injury but should be fine for his next start. You don’t need ankles when you’re constantly floating six inches above the ground like the divine power hitting/pitching Angel that he is. My therapist says I have to stop obsessing over Ohtani because despite his multiple position eligibility on both sides of the ball he’s going to have his growing pains and I’m setting myself up for an epic face palm, and that palm is calloused and covered in blisters. Ouch. However, my therapist is also in my fantasy league so I’m trying to figure out what angle they’re playing. I have to tread carefully or they’ll stop selling me Adderall.
Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!
