I’m still spent from Friday’s trade deadline. It. Dot dot dot. Was. Dot dot dot. Awesome. MLB should have a trade deadline every month. Like musical chairs with walk-up music. “Okay, we have 450 chairs, and when Whomp There It Is stops, you have to be in a chair, ready?” Whomp, and the music stops and everyone sits down, except Trevor Story, who simply just walks off into the sunset. In the distance, we hear Trevor Story cursing out the Rockies. Bud Black smiles, “He loves this organization so much,” Bud calling off, “You’re our forever Rockie!” So, the Cubs sent everyone away, except Rafael Ortega. Smart move or the Ricketts getting lucky while being cheap SOBs? Like a teamster, I’m gonna lean on the latter. Coincidence that Ricketts sounds like a disease you get from a lack of nutrition or no? Any hoo! Rafael Ortega (4-for-4, 5 RBIs) hit three ding-dongs (4, 5, 6), after homering on Saturday. Ortega is 30 years old and has bounced around the minors since 2008, while stealing nearly 40 bags some years, so he has speed too. I’m inclined to say unlikely to continue, but grab while hot. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
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The Trade Deadline Spectacular! Lot’s to unpack here, where do I begin? First, the Chicago Cubs continued to clean house Friday night sending their remaining superstars to opposite coasts. Kris Bryant is headed to San Francisco in exchange for Alexander Canario and Caleb Killian, and Javier Baez was sent to Queens to play shortstop for the Mets. The Mets will send outfielder Pete Crow-Armstrong back to Chicago. Look, I’m not going to pretend to know who any of these prospects are, I will leave it to The Itch’s Top 100 Prospects for 2021 Fantasy Baseball to tell you which of these kids are worthy of your 2021 consideration, but I will confirm that Pete Crow-Armstrong is an awesome name, so he must be very good. Anyway, Bryant should gel nicely with this Giants team and they get a “true star” to keep up with the big boys in the NL West. Javier Baez will keep doing the Javier Baez thing he does, now in NYC City, and it should be fun to watch a Javy/Lindo infield combo when Lindor returns in a few weeks. Meanwhile down South, the Braves were so distraught about Acuña (same, Braves, same), they traded for an entirely new outfield. Retail therapy! I get it! Altana acquired Eddie Rosario, Jorge Soler and Adam Duvall all from different teams, all within about an hour of each other, and all of whom are basically the same player. But for real though, how insane was this deadline? Quality and quantity. Twitter Friday afternoon was probably more exciting than most of the MLB games I’ve watched this season. Blockbuster deals! Twists and turns! 10 all-stars traded! Headlines that would make Suni Lee say, “oh, wow that’s a pretty intriguing story.” And she’s not even talking about Trevor Story! For me, it was an exciting, drama-filled 48 hours in sports and I’d love to go on about how fun it is to watch athletes displaced from their homes but there is too much to cover today so will get right to it.
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
On a treadmill, Billy Beane screaming at Jonah Hill, “Get me Starling Marte!” as he presses the speed faster and faster. Now, he’s at a brisk pace that could be described as, “Miguel Sano rolling downhill.” Jonah Hill, knowing he has to do as his boss says, or risk being fired, trades Jesus Luzardo for Starling Marte and that’s when…The music rises. All we see is a bandana tied around the back of a head. Tight close-up and we see a finger wave. Another close-up and we see someone putting their hand to ear to hear crowd noise. A little kid stands on a chair, and points, “Mah gawd, that’s Kim Ng’s music!” It is her, and she just fleeced Billy Beane. Yo, yo, YO YO YO, how do you trade a Starling Marte rental for Jesus Luzardo? The Marlins will show you how. Jesus Luzardo can be an ace as soon as next year and Marte? Well, who knows where he’ll be next year. Crazy value there for the Marlins. That’s how you do rebuilding and why I was giving such crap to the Pirates the other day over Adam Frazier. Though, giving crap to the Pirates is fun. They like it too, right? Pirates like anything to do with booty. As for Marte in his new home, welp, that park sucks, but it’s not like Crayola Canyon is a great park, and Marte’s more of a five-category performer than reliant on power. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
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J.D. Martinez was first to the Just Dong nickname, even though recently Jeff Bezos tried to co-op it himself:
Well, put aside your Dongs, Just and Jeff! There’s a new Just Dong in the picture. It’s J.D. Davis aka Jonathan Davis Davis aka Jefferson Davis Davis aka Just Dong Davis. Was surprised to see him only rostered in 35% of ESPN leagues, so ding-ding Just Dong, you’re eligible for the Buy column! Back in 2019, Jonathan Davis Davis had his star mitzvah, which had us all scratching our heads, “Did the Astros really lose a trade to the…Mets?” Appizzarently, they did. The only thing stopping J.D. Davis from taking that next step was. Dot dot dot. His health. But he’s good now, and he has himself a rocket ship to the rotating planet of Third Outfielder With Rising Fantasy Value. It’s an outlying planet, but it’s worth making space on your team. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Week 16 is here and upon us, and it is stacked with some intriguing inter-league play, as well as a couple teams fitting 8 games into 7 days. With Inter-League, if you happen to have Giancarlo Stanton, Nelson Cruz, or Yordan Alvarez, pay attention to their lineups. While I plan on laying out a couple special players this week to give you that competitive edge, there are also a few players returning the IL that could pay dividends down the stretch. Most likely he has been stashed on IL, but Chris Sale is inching closer to returning, and looking good! The White Sox are about to be whole again as both Luis Robert and Eloy are playing in rehab games. Cookie Carrasco is eyeing a return this upcoming week, as is Aaron Sanchez if you can need to stash some arms. If you have hung around this long, it’s a labor of love…We have made it 16 weeks, and if your league is the traditional 24 weeks….2 months left. Let’s go!!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Bam! Enrique Hernandez had two hits including his 11th home run of the season Friday night and has been hotter than twin Black Widows since returning to the lead off spot. You heard that correctly, friends, there is another Black Widow and she’s just as hot, and smart and badass as the first. As for Enrique, the home run was Kiké’s fifth out of the lead off spot and his fourth lead off home run in the past two weeks! Time to Kiké it into high gear! Hernandez struggled at the top of the order in May and early June but has found his groove since return to the #1 spot responding big with a .288 batting average, 9 runs, 11 RBI, and five dingers in the past two weeks! I know what you’re thinking–Enrique Hernandez? Is this guy for real? We all know what Kiké Hernandez is at this point, a career .240 hitter with very little speed who’s never hit more than 21 bombs in a season. He’s a clubhouse guy, a utility player, a swiss army knife for sure, but not a fantasy stud, right? Yeah you right, and Dodgers fans are rolling their eyes at me so hard right now, but hear me out! He’s leading off for possibly a top three offense in baseball and was basically headhunted by Sawx Manager Alex Cora. Cora loves himself a good swiss army knife, and Kiké is the guy he’s wanted leading off since day 1, despite his struggles and despite much more desirable, and likeable and handsome (*cough Verdugo*) options available. The impending arrival of top prospect Jarren Duran also puts Hernandez’s future as the lead off man even more in doubt, but he’s currently one of the hottest hitters in the league and scoring runs for one of the best teams in baseball. I’m not saying he won’t come back down to Earth, but I am saying he could be worth adding while he’s at least pretending to be the leadoff hitter Alex Cora always dreamed of. And as long as he has studs like JD Martinez (2-for-3, HR (18), 4 RBI) and Rafael Devers (1-for-3, HR(22)) driving him in he doesn’t have to do much but get on base and could help Kiké start your offense in the second half!
Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)
You ever think there’s forces larger than ourselves at work? For instance, Taco Bell removes the Mexican Pizza from its menu, but then you’re sitting in traffic, eating nachos off the passenger seat. *screech* You slam on the brakes, and, suddenly, the nachos slide off and crash onto the ground. You frantically pull onto the shoulder, and, as you’re eating the nachos off the floormat, you realize the fall to the ground makes those nachos look like that badly-missed Mexican Pizza. Life gives you what you need. A baseball example: The White Sox were supposed to be good this year, then they lose everyone from their lineup. One tragedy after another, and Tony La Russa, drunk, just filled in the lineup like, “I’m not going to drive my Mercedes…But I could go for a Burger,” suddenly standing and grabbing his ass, “First I need to take a Sheets.” Yet, they’d still win! Another circumstance that has managed to sort itself out is Rowdy Tellez. He was supposed to be great, but the Jays added player after player this past offseason, and Rowdy was squeezed, which had his Jewish mother say, “Why don’t you get married?” Then, he was traded and now The He’Brewer should get playing time again, and it’s a great park in Milwaukee. There’s a chance Rowdy could be again what we hoped he would be. “A doctor?” No, Rowdy’s Jewish mother. A top 10 1st baseman, if the Brewers, ya know, play him. Why exactly did they trade for him and are not starting him? Oh, that’s right, the Brewers are stupid. Well, if they smarten up, I like Tellez a lot. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Shohei Ohtani (2-for-4, 2 runs) hit his 32nd homer, passing Hideki Matsui as the top Japanese-born home run hitter in a season, and it’s not even the All-Star Break! Such a cheat code, and I’m such a giant dummy to not have him on any team. Boy, I Mr. Bungled this one so bad it’s hard for me to see through my tears of anguish. The absolute ball dropping I did by not grabbing him. Or Jared Walsh (2-for-4, 3 RBIs) who hit his 21st and 22nd homer! I wrote a gee-dee sleeper post for him! Yet, all my fantasy teams are like a milk carton with that missing Walsh kid. This is brutally difficult for me. I should’ve known better for Ohtani, and I did know better for Walsh! Someone shoot me into the sky, where I can do something for humanity by flipping off Bezos’s orbiting rocket ship, and away from the misery of watching Ohtani and Walsh carry fantasy teams to the proverbial promised land. I was promised that land! I have my deed right here…*searches pockets for deed, pull back to reveal I’m wearing pants with millions of pockets* This is my nightmare! We’re in it! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Allow myself to reintroduce myself: I’m Roto-Wan. Long-time saves chaser, non-pricey pick payer, part-time closer ranker. You may remember from such columns as this one, last season. Grey kidnapped my dog and is forcing me to write about saves with masks or something. Contact the authorities if you’re reading this. All kidding aside, I enjoyed my hiatus and look forward to helping valued readers like you navigate the treacherous waters of saves in the MLB. I’ve dusted off Grey’s original tiers, as I like to do in the early going. It’s important to remind us of the jerks we’ve been to help us know the jerks we can become.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here I go again sounding the trouble alarm. The way relief pitching is going this season I expect this will be a recurring segment every two weeks in SAGNOF. I’m taking a look at closers who have been struggling since the last time I wrote about closers two weeks ago. The concern level scale goes from:
- Green: “That ain’t no problem, that ain’t no problem.” Shannon Sharpe
- Yellow: “Oh, I’m stressed!” Jerry Seinfeld
- Orange: “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” Han Solo
- Red: “Molly. You in danger girl.” Oda Mae Brown
Well, here we go again. More injuries to mull over. Let’s rip this Band-Aid off.
Note: The writers cover injuries throughout the week, so if you’re looking for an update on a player not mentioned here, slap their name into the ol’ search bar and give it a look-see. I’m just here to give you the latest injury buzz for the week, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll be mentioning everyone you care about each time.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Another doozy of a week. I don’t know what it is about this year, but hamstrings and shoulders are DOOMED. Feels like 90% of the injuries I keep getting updates about are “hamstring tightness” or “pulled up lame” or “sore shoulder” or “shoulder inflammation.” Ugh.
If by some stroke of insane luck you’ve managed to avoid injury to this point, no doubt this week the fantasy baseball gods deemed you unworthy after all. I told you in the title that I had bad news. Well, let’s get to it:Please, blog, may I have some more?