As the old expression goes, you can count on three things in life, death, taxes, and Mets pitchers ruining your week/month/season with an injury of some sort. This is a slight update on the late 80’s iteration of this expression, death, taxes, and Mets pitchers at a snowstorm. If you’re a Noah Syndergaard owner you might want to hit up Doc’s medicine man, because the mighty righty was skipped in the rotation due to a sore bicep. Apparently curls are for the girls, and the DL too. Seriously how does Bartolo stay healthy eating like Kristie Alley on a bender, while Thor spends his free time living like Schwarzenegger in the beginning of Twins? Nothing makes sense, I’m writing the Notes! Riddle me this, Does that mean Colon was birthed from his poop? Or is it the other way around. Yes, I was an odd child. As for Thor, and his right arm, he’s headed for an MRI today. After first experiencing pain between bullpen sessions, and playing catch. He said he “felt great” playing catch, two things, “who doesn’t feel great playing catch?” and as far as I know “felt great” doesn’t mean I couldn’t lift my arm above my shoulder. But Syndergaard is from Texas and a Viking, so he may speak a different language. Oh, yeah, that’s not a joke. He actually said I “felt great playing catch”, but his bicep “stiffens up when it gets cold”. Funny, mine does the opposite when it gets cold. The worst part, is that gem of a comment was followed with “I couldn’t really lift my arm above my shoulder at that point”. However, the Mets and Terry Collins assure us that Thor isn’t hurt. In fact, he showed up to the park ready to pitch! But old cautious Terry pulled the plug, because as he so eloquently put it, “when you are talking about anything that runs into the shoulder to where he changes his delivery and other things happen.” Damn, the man has the vocabulary of Sling Blade! Not going to lie, I’m intrigued about these “other things” happening in Syndergaard’s bicep. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

 

Matt Harvey – 4.1 IP, 6 ER, 5 BB, 5 H, 1K.  Stepped in and started for Thor, congratulations if you were busy at work yesterday and didn’t put Harvey into your lineup. Sometimes being a bad manager works in your favor. I wish I wrote a Schmohawk post about this guy. Sorry, was looking at my What Would Grey Say bracelet he sent when I said I’d cover the post today. Seriously though, the fastball velocity is down 2 MPH this year, and he struggled to hit 93 much of this game, after hitting 95-96 in the first.

Neil Walker – 3-for -4, 2 runs, 1 RBI, hitting .227. Nice of Neil to show up on a short schedule day, maybe he’ll become my middle infidel Colby Rasmus? Then again Walker, doesn’t look like a demonic Amish serial killer.

Yoenis Cespedes – 1-for-2, Pulled up lame running the bases, and exited the game in the bottom of the fourth, a DL stint is expeced. The injury might have happened during BP yesterday, really ugly grimace after the swing if you can find the video. What you thought he wouldn’t miss 20-30 games this year?

Kurt Suzuki – 1-for-3, 2 runs, HR, 3 RBIs. You see the Braves score 7 runs, go to check what Freddie Freeman ( 1 for 4, 1 RBI, 1 run), Matt Kemp ( 0 for 4), and Ender Inciarte (1 for 5, 1 run, 2 steals) did, and see Kurt Suzuki was the star of the game. Not quite a ticker tease, but it’s close.

Daniel Murphy – 3-for-6, 3 runs, HR, 3 RBIs. Quick, Murphy get hurt, so Grey can beat his chest about how you’re a schmohawk for the next 10 months.

Adam Eaton – 2-for-4, 3 runs, HR, 2 RBIs, hitting .291, and hitting leadoff. I know I’m certainly not the first to say this, but I think we’re in the midst of what’s sure to be Eaton’s finest season. Maybe we’ll finally forget about that pitcher from the Phillies. Which one? Exactly…

Trea Turner – 3-for-6, 2 runs, 2 RBIs. Treat Urner in Coors is like needles to the vein, burners to the brain, suicide chess, playing suicide king. We call that a say goodnight.

Bryce Harper – 1-for-5, 2 runs, HR, 3 RBIs, hitting .418. Every other year the “Harper is better than Trout” people have their day. Enjoy your year Harper Truthers.

Jayson Werth – 2-for-3, 3 runs, 1 steal, hitting .283. You think he’s ever tried to trick one of the Duck Dynasty guys’ hot wives into bed?

Gio Gonzalez – 6.2 IP, 2 ER, 5 K, 3 BB, 7 H, ERA at 1.62. Sometimes you own Matt Harvey, and you wish you had a time machine so you could trade him. Other times you wish you had a time machine so you could stream Gio Gonzalez at Coors. Yes, all of my time machine plans involve fantasy baseball.

Antonio Senzatela – 6 IP, 4 ER, 3 BB, 1 K, ERA up to 2.81. The Regression Fairies have seen every Madonna tour, eat Ethiopian food every Thursday, and will rip your guts out. Remember W.W.G.S!

Trevor Story – 0-for-3, 1 run, 1 BB. If I needed walks I would have drafted Jackie Bradley Jr. in the 2nd round.

Charlie Blackmon – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs, hitting .304. Am I the only one who feels like Blackmon’s trade value is always lower than his draft day value, and there’s no reason why? I’d say it’s my leagues, but I’m literally in every league. All of them.

Nolan Arenado – 1-for-5, HR. Thank god I finished raking these leaves, my hands were starting to blister. OHHHHH NOOOO Torenado!!!!!

Jeremy Hellickson – 6 IP, 1 ER, 0 BB, 1 K, 7 H, ERA at 1.80. He’s really nothing more than a streamer in RCL type formats, but if you’re in a deep league, or a head to head league, then Hellickson has been an absolute steal for his owner. He’s such a bore though, right?

Kyle Seager – 2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI. As he returned from a few games off. Not a ton of offense to speak about in this game as the World’s Second Greatest Player Taylor Motter went (o for 3), Robinson Cano (0 for 4), and Jean Segura, and Nelson Cruz went (1 for 4).

Tyler Collins – 3-for-3, 1 run. Not anything more than a batty call in 12 teamers, but as our deep league expert Laura Holt told you Collins caught a body bout a week agooooooo!

Justin Verlander – 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 BB, 8 K’s, 5 H, ERA down to 4.60. Wow this guy gets f’ed out of more W’s than anybody.

Hisashi Iwakuma – 5.2 IP, 0 ER, 1 BB, 3 K, 3 H. Hey, he’s got a lower ERA than Verlander right now. I’m still not trusting him outside 16+ team leagues, and AL only.

Masahiro Tanaka – CG, 3 H, 0 BB, 3 K’s, and the win. Is there anyone in baseball that hits their target more than Tanaka? I’m not sure Austin Romaine reached for a single pitch last night, Tanaka was spotting dimes, and eating onions as he went the distance. One of the more economical performances you’ll see, as he finished off the Sawx in 97 pitches. Writing Sox like that gives me douche chills.

Chris Sale – 8 IP, 2 ER, 0 BB, 10 K’s, 8 H, ERA at 1.19. Neither starter walked a batter in this game, which is the most amazing thing to happen to the Red Sox vs. Yankees rivalry since Babe Ruth. Let me say this one thing on Sale, as an extremely biased observer of Red Sox games. He’s the truth! Not that you didn’t already know this, but he’s duuuurty. Let me finish this up, I gotta run to the packie. Sale stayed in an inning too long, coming out for the ninth, and giving up a couple of runs (1 ER).

Matt Holliday – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs. Holliday hit the ball hard, pulling a couple of balls to left field. Was thrown out by the World’s Greatest Player, Andrew Benintendi (0 for 4, hitting .329), as he tried to stretch a single into a double.

Corey Seager – 1-for-3, HR, 2 walks, hitting .318. Homered in back to back games against the Giants. Serious question, in any format would you rather have Correa? I don’t think I would, but maybe you like torturing yourself.

Matt Moore – 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 BB, 8 K’s 2 H, ERA at 4.80. Moore is going to have these mirage games all season, You’ll buy into his next start and he’ll give up 5 ernies. Though this was a home start, and there’s no park kinder to lefties, so maybe you stream him in his home starts. Are mediocre lefties in AT&T the new Hodgepadre?

Julio Urias – 5.2 IP, 1 ER, 4 BB, 4 K, 4 H, threw 90 pitches in his first MLB start of the season. I like Urias in 5×5, but he could be infuriating in quality start leagues. 4 walks isn’t great, but one was intentional, and he’s 20 years old making his first start of the season.

Matt Carpenter – (doubleheader) 2-for-8, Grand slam, 6 RBIs, 1 Run, hitting .238. What a great day to own Cardinals hitters. Short schedule day, double header, and you score 8 in the first game and 6 in the second. Carpenter hit a walk off grand slam in the first game. He went o for 3 in the night game. Here’s the catch, he’s been so bad he doubled his RBI total yesterday.

Dexter Fowler – (doubleheader) 5-for-9, 4 runs, 1 RBI, HR, average up to .224. Outside of the two homer game this was the second time you were happy you drafted Dexter Fowler.

Greg Garcia – 3-for-3 1 run, 1 BB, starting the second game. I own him in an NL only, as my bench bat, and the only way he’d ever play is on a short schedule day, or a doubleheader. Yah me!

Randal Grichuk – (doubleheader) 3-for-6, 3 runs, 3 RBIs, HR. Be honest, this was the first time you were glad you owned Grichuk?

Marwin Gonzalez – 2-for-3, HR, 1 run, 1 RBI. Pretty much everyone else in the Astros lineup went 1 for 4 (Carlos Correa, Nori Aoki, Alex Bregman, Brian McCann, Evan Gattis) last night.

Corey Kluber – 7 IP, 3 ER, 4 BB, 10 K, 8 H, ERA at 4.19. I’d like to tell you that Kluber is just getting unlucky with his ERA, but he’s not. Going into last night’s game his LOB was 70.8%, and his BABIP against was a lucky .261. Ratio murder aside, the K’s were tasty yesterday, and against a team that rarely strikes out vs RHP (19.2% as a team).

Francisco Lindor – 1-for-4, HR, 2 RBIs, 1 run. All of the Indians runs in this game came via the long ball as Edwin Encarnacion ( 1 for 3, 1 RBI, 1 run), and Abraham Almonte (1 for 3) went deep. Another question, Lindor or Correa, no matter the format, who you got?

Kendall Graveman – 6 IP, 2 ER, 0 BB, 4 K’s, 6 H, ERA at 2.25. He continues to throw almost exclusively sinkers, but it’s working. Somewhere there’s a guy who drafted all hitters in the first 18 rounds, and he has the best pitching staff in the world.

Bud Norris – 1 IP, 0 ER, 1 BB, 1 K, Save. Okay, so it’s Bud Norris, until it isn’t. If you grabbed Norris after Blake Parker was picked up last weekend, you lucked out. You’re probably the same guy who forgot to put Harvey in today. Lucky bastard!!

Yasmany Tomas – 2-for-4, HR, 2 RBIs, 1 run, hitting .308. Salami Tom!!!!

Taijuan Walker – 8 IP, 2 ER, 0 BB, 11 K’s, 4 H, ERA down to 3.94. This was the third time in his career he had double digit K’s, and one short of his single game best. Walker’s tweak to his setup, and delivery still have me guardedly optimistic, I don’t own him in any non-head to head 12 teamers though.

J.J. Hoover – 1 IP, 0 ER, 0 H, 0 BB, 0 K. Wasn’t a save situation, but it was clean inning, and after Fernando Rodney’s blowup, Hoover needs to be owned all over. BTW I have no idea if he’ll get the closer’s gig or be in Grey’s buy column this afternoon, but he should be in both.

Grey will be back this afternoon with his normal buy column!

 

 

 
  1. Mike in Busan says:
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    Thanks, Ralph.

    Anybody see how JV “looked” today?
    He seemed like he couldn’t find the zone in his previous start after looking like everyone knew exactly what he was gonna throw in the start before that.
    His numbers today looked good, but did he?

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @Mike in Busan: The few innings I saw he did.

    • Cram It says:
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      @Mike in Busan: No, but I don’t care. Just give me that final line. He’s not a youngster who needs scouting to see what’s really under the hood of the line. He’s Justin Motherfuckin’ Verlander and he better keep this up.

      • Mike in Busan says:
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        @Cram It: hahaha, I feel you, Cram, but he really looked rough and didn’t give any fine lines for those last two. He looked good, though. Thanks, guys.

        • Cram It says:
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          @Mike in Busan: There was some risk as to whether we were getting 2014 vs 2016 JV when we drafted him. The jury is still out on that unfortunately, but hopefully he’s now trending in the right direction.

        • Ralph Lifshitz

          Ralph Lifshitz says:
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          @Mike in Busan: Yeah first 4 were good, didn’t see after.

          • Mike in Busan says:
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            @Ralph Lifshitz: feeling good after watching some. locating better. he just seemed baffled last time out. Hopeful. Yeah, he was (is) a risk, but damm was he sweet again last year.

            • Ralph Lifshitz

              Ralph Lifshitz says:
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              @Mike in Busan: He has his lowlights, even last year. He’s no model of consistency like Rick Porcello…:)

  2. TTRA1N says:
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    Surprised nothing about Chris Owings. .. 2Bombz anD a steal. Xtra combo!

    • Jay says:
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      amen. I love my Chris Owings pick up a few weeks ago. Have him with A.J. as well.

      • Ralph Lifshitz

        Ralph Lifshitz says:
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        @Jay: nice!

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @TTRA1N: Talk about burying the lede huh? Yeah it was late and I totally spaced. He was going to be the final add.

  3. Ante GALIC says:
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    Ralph!!!!!!

    Great work, man! Loved it.

    a. How ’bout ‘dem ManU Red Devils this year, huh? I hate Mourinho but it seems his work at the club has been effective.

    b. Please stop jinxing Murphy! I autobot drafted him (as a Grey disciple didn’t like it because it was a 3rd or 4th round pick). Now I have to live with the shame.

    c. Adam Eaton pitched for the Padres too, didn’t he? Just kidding, he was awful and me knowing about him at all just shows how shallow I am as a human being.

    d. John Rambo Quote of the day for April 28-30

    Sheriff: ‘- He’s outta ammo…’

    Mitch: ‘- How do you know that?’

    Sheriff: ‘Because whatever killed Orville’s dog was no bullet, that’s how! Hurry up! Orville, listen to me, now listen! You have to stay awake, all right? You have to release that tourniquet every 15 minutes. We’ll be right back! We go get him now, he’s outta ammo.’

    Orville: ‘Get him! He had no right to shoot my babies. Get the son of a bitch!’

    Sheriff: ‘- Let’s go!’

    Orville: ‘- Go get him!’

    [The plot thickens. With every hurdle Rambo throws at them, the Sheriff is more and more determined to finish the job. Will he succeed? Tune in next week to find out more.]

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @Ante GALIC: A. I’ll take it, but Zlatan is dead. B. I told him Murphy was no schmohawk! C. Who? See what I mean :) D. Rambo!!!!

  4. Andrew Edenbaum says:
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    Need to inject some pizazz onto my team. Trumbo killing me. Grandy and Joyce mired on bench. Beckham, Davidson, Plouffe, Bird, Valbuena, Heredia, and Arryo available on the waiver wire in my 15 team Ultimate. Can you please rank them based on ROS projections and other than Joyce, is there another drop ? Thanks. Bids in FAAB. $868 left($1,000 to start).
    Have Rodney, Casilla, Iglesias as my closers (if you call them closers), and Rosenthal. Hoover is available, along with Miranda, Feldman, and Zimmerman. Have them listed Hoover,Miranda, Feldman, and Zimmerman as buys for Rosenthal. My other pitchers are Sale, Archer, Duffy, Nola, Odorizzi, Bauer, Corbin, and Hammel. Buys ? Drops ? $$ to bid ? Thanks.

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @Andrew Edenbaum: I could see dumping Joyce and Grandy for Davidson and taking a shot on Arroyo, or Bird rebounding. The rest are all about the same rest of season.

      I’d want to add Hoover but you can’t drop Rodney yet. As for ranking

  5. Alcibiades Escobar says:
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    Hot post, Ralph. Yesterday’s was fire. The Crab Army is all over the globe and constantly monitoring this shizz with smooth gooches and bearded faces. Playing fantasy baseball in our spare time.

    • Alcibiades Escobar says:
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      And I love you, CC

      • Old School Brother says:
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        @Ralph Lifshitz: Put your Claws in the sky if you’re feelin the vibe

  6. dubjay says:
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    So I have held onto both Buxton and Broxton in my keeper league hoping there would be some clarity soon and have a clear decision on which to keep/drop. Broxton has the better numbers overall but Buxton has the pedigree. Tough call.
    What do you guys think?

    These are the best available FAs
    J.PEDERSON
    H.PEREZ
    B.DRURY
    D.PERALTA
    R.GRICHUK
    T.MOTTER
    Y.SOLARTE
    C.GOMEZ

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @dubjay: I’d drop both for Peralta and Grichuk. If you gotta hold one, hold Buxton.

  7. Another Dan says:
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    Is this Karma ?

    In the same week Cody Bellinger gets called up, Half of Halph gets a promotion.

    Loved the notes,

    Dan

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @Another Dan: Dan! We’re back tomorrow, and there’s Halph coming!

  8. Rosscoe says:
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    It thucks so bad Ralph…

    Your first four points make me sad, while your 6th point makes me mad…

    Fuck this shit, I say we follow the west coast lead and bring up Smithy and Rosario!

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @Rosscoe: Here! Here! Too bad Nimmo is hurt, he might actually get some playing time. Yo might be out awhile.

  9. Mike says:
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    Adam Conley, who’s facing the bucs, worth s stream today? I’m chasing K’s, wins and WHIP.

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @Mike: I wouldn’t start him, my streamer today is Morton.

  10. Count de Monetball says:
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    Ralph! You are killing it on this site bro, Just being a 48’er beating everyone to the rookie “gold” with the tremendous stalking minor coverage is one amazing thing (amazing!!!), then Razz30 coverage and now daily notes? Kudos man, kudos! Timbuk3’s shades aren’t enough to see your writing future! Happy 233rd post on RB day!

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @Count de Monetball: Thanks Count! I’m wearing cataract glasses!

  11. Malicious Phenoms says:
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    Nice pinch hit write-up Mr Prospector man!

    Yesterday I was telling anybody who asked that I was starting Tanaka @ Fenway V the Swax, I DID, did anybody else?

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @Malicious Phenoms: In my points league I did. He looked phenomenal.

  12. Sean Smith says:
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    Great post Ralph! Not sure if my team is trying to get their injuries out of the way early or going for the record.

    Injuries so far:
    Rodon (DL)
    Dahl (DL)
    Hill (DL, Blister 1)
    T. Turner (DL, activated)
    JBJ (DL, activated)
    G. Sanchez (DL)
    J. Gray (DL)
    Hill (DL, Blister 2)
    Cespedes (missed series)
    S. Miller (DL, dropped)
    Haniger (DL)
    Cespedes (DL most likely)

    Not really sure how I’m still competitive with having to use bench spots on DL’d guys, at least this possible bullpen situation or inevitable blister 3 on Hill might free me up a spot.

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @Sean Smith: Yeah seems like you must be making solid pickups.

  13. mcmi11ions says:
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    “I’m glad I got that extension in for my taxes because I just finished sorting these Whole Foods receipts. OH NO TORENADO!”

    That’s Grey the next time Arenado homers.

    Also, I was one of those busy at work Harvey owners yesterday haha. Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good.

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @mcmi11ions: Ha! Nice! Go buy a lotto ticket.

  14. Jeff With a EFF is H2H category league sufficient if not thwn would you please elaborate and share the correct mission statement for the gawd damn leagues that you compete against another team in your league and who ever gains the most mofo N cATS wins

    • JeF WiTh 1 F says:
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      @Dnut Eastwood:Ha Ha… I was just busting your balls yesterday.

  15. RicoSuave says:
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    Well done Ralph!

    Thank you…

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @RicoSuave: Thanks!

  16. Tigres says:
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    nice work Ralph. SALAMI TOM!

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @Tigres: Salami Tom!

      • El Famous Burrito says:
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        @Ralph Lifshitz: It’s Salami Tom all the way down

        • Ralph Lifshitz

          Ralph Lifshitz says:
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          @El Famous Burrito: Salami Tom! I was excited when he hit that homer, cause it meant a Salami Tom drop.

          • El Famous Burrito says:
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            @Ralph Lifshitz: I live for the day he hits a grand slam

  17. William Hung says:
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    @Grey: Once Ces goes on the DL, my UTIL spot opens up – debating between Owings, Gallo, or Conforto. Your sage advice is needed.

    • JeF WiTh 1 F says:
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      @William Hung: Conforto for me, he’s the best hitter of the three and should play everyday now.

      • William Hung says:
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        @JeF WiTh 1 F: What’s ridiculous is that I just asked if I should pick up another set of players with Rendon struggling (you recommended Gyorko), but before I could pull the trigger Ces goes down… now I need that roster spot for Ces’ replacement.

        I’m leaning Conforto cause Mets or maybe I should be leaning Owings cause Mets… hahaha

        • Ralph Lifshitz

          Ralph Lifshitz says:
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          @William Hung: Yeah the Mets lineup is worrisome with no Cespedes. Maybe you catch lightening in a bottle with Conforto, but I’m riding the hot bat in the hot lineup. That reads back funny…