Please see our player page for Masahiro Tanaka to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

*visoring your eyes with your hand, squinting at the light as you emerge from your mother’s basement*  “Hey, mom, it’s the All-Star break and I thought I’d come up to say hello.”  Where the house once stood, it’s now a Whole Foods, and you’re standing in the cheese aisle.  Confused, you approach a man in Birkenstocks, “Excuse me, is this 450 Palm Terrace Road?”  “It is.”  “Wasn’t there a row of houses here?”  “Back in March, they bulldozed this area when the yuppies won a city ordinance that says there needs to be a Whole Foods within at least three-quarters of a mile of another Whole Foods.”  You reel back, overwhelmed with how your family is gone and how you’ve been living in a Whole Foods basement.  You turn to an employee, “I need to sit down, and can I get a free sample of any cheese?”  You smile, revealing Cheetos-dusted teeth, and thus begins your All-Star break.  Tomorrow, I’ll drop the top 100 for the 2nd half, then there will be a Buy/Sell again Friday morning.  One guy who will have extra time this All-Star break will be Mike Matheny.  Last week it was revealed, Mike McNulty set up a sting operation in the Cards’ bullpen to see if everyone was doing their best with Bud “Bubbles” Norris as his informant.  Then when the Cards fired Donnie Brasco Matheny, he might’ve took his informant with him, because Jordan Hicks (1 IP, 1 ER) got Sunday’s save and Norris came down with mysterious arm concerns.  I’d absolutely grab Hicks.  You know what’s the difference between Hicks and Norris?  One makes you say, “Ooh MPH…”  The other makes you say, “Oompha.”  Also, usually I ignore trade rumors, but at this time of the year, you should be extra vigilant about backing up closers because at any point in the next two weeks a closer could get traded and you don’t want to leave it up to getting to the waiver wire before everyone else.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Trevor Bauer continued to keep the drool moist on his owners’ chins — 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.30.  The other day some ‘perts listed their biggest surprises of the 2nd half, and one (maybe more) talked about how surprised they were about Bauer.  Yeah, shocker.  *insanely long pause, staring straight ahead*  Really, really surprised.  *just a dead-eyed stare, slowly picks up Capri Sun, sips real slow on tiny straw, lets out long burp*  Yup, no one saw that coming.  Yesterday, it was too bad, Cody Allen had an epic Kazaam — 2/3 IP, 6 ER, moving his ERA up to 4.66.  I’m just going to sit down for a second.  Aw geez, it hurts to sit.  I’m going to lie on my stomach.  Make the pain go away.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

No joy comes from benching your ace and having him do a shot of Visine right as he’s going to bed.  “I’m just going to tuck myself in with a glass of warm milk and a Visine back.”  Nope, that brings me zero enjoyment.  It’s like calling your mechanic and telling him that your brakes don’t work, which you found out after the valet drove your Peugeot into a Chipotle.  (Even Chipotles have valets in LA.)  Car’s ruined, at least I wasn’t in the damn car, but no joy.  That’s what I’m getting right now from Carlos Martinez.  Yesterday, he went 4 IP, 5 ER, ERA up to 3.24, and it’s his 4th straight lackluster start in a row since returning from injury.  He was on my bench, because I don’t trust him at all, but my car’s still being used as a salsa bar, and I don’t want pico de gallo on my hood!  I want the ace pitcher I drafted!  I have to assume C-Mart is still hurt, because it hasn’t only been the series of bleh starts, but the control in his last four games has been atrocious 20 BBs in 16 2/3 IP.  Yesterday’s command was technically better, unless you consider being wild in the zone as big a problem.  Sadly, he needs to stay on your bench until he either rights the ship or hits the Disgraceful List.  Effin’ pico de gallo hood ornament!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This one just came across my desk in the Razzball news room. Apparently Walker Buehler suffered this injury (rib microfracture) three starts ago (!) but he’s a hockey player who fought his way through it. Conflicting reports about whether he’ll just miss one start or more in case they want to manage his innings. Stash or Trash: Stash. Kid’s looked great and a worthy heir to the Clayton Kershaw crown. Fill In: With another six starting pitchers going on the DL, I’m going to make my starting pitcher replacements at the bottom of this article.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Was this the worst week of fantasy baseball in history? When was the last time we dealt with so many catastrophic injuries to big names? Pitchers going down left and right, literally. Hitter/Pitchers getting injured! Top prospects shutdown for weeks at a time? I spent the weekend drowning myself in cigarettes and booze. Do I feel better now? No! But that’s why I turned to Grey, his cackle, and nose for a good replacement in a 12 team mixed league. He’s not too shabby with the NL only leagues, if you know what I’m getting at… Regardless, we talk injuries this week, and some of the in-house replacements (i.e. Seth Lugo and Ross Stripling breaking ball love). Finally, please make sure to support our sponsor by heading over to RotoWear.com and entering promo code “SAGNOF” for 20% off the highest quality t-shirts in the fantasy sports game. It’s the latest edition of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Podcast:

BTW: Get your Prospect Jesus and Grey Albright Tout Wars Champ shirts here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

And another one! After hitting two home runs on Thursday, Joc Pederson homered in his second straight game Friday night going 1-for-4, with his seventh bomb. That’s six homers in the past week while hitting .450 with nine runs, and driving in eight. Whoa, get off my Joc! Seriously, he’s mine! But he could be yours too, he was a BUY and Grey just gave you his Joc Pederson fantasy. To be fair, my Pederson fantasy involves a lot more heavy breathing, Mookie Betts and scented oils. I usually don’t like to cover a player who was just, just featured in another post, but the amount of times you see a player featured in posts in a single week directly reflects the urgency in which you need to pick him up. Joc is available in over three quarters of fantasy leagues (that’s more than half, folks!) right now and could be a 30+ home run hitter. That’s 20 home runs for your fantasy team from now until you ultimately win your league in September. Joc has historically been a good power source but typically streaky and a huge drain on batting average (career .227 hitter). Not the case this year as he’s slashing .272/.345/.523. According to Grey, “Some of my hotter buys…while wearing a thong… Joc is pretty sexy…” And that’s me completely misquoting portions of Grey out of context! You get the idea! Joc is hitting all the home runs. This is Rock’n Joc baseball at it’s finest! Somebody call Dan Cortese!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

From Fozzie Bear’s Big Book Of Side-Splitting Jokes (Please Laugh), “Why couldn’t you hear the guy who didn’t draft Michael Wacha?  He was Mike-less.  Wacha Wacha Wacha.”  “Did you see him pitch yesterday?  He was reWachable, knocking down Pirates like he was playing Wacha-Mole.  Wacha Wacha Wacha.”  “What do you get when you don’t listen to Grey’s preseason advice to draft Michael Wacha?  An unbearable fantasy baseball ‘pert giving I told you so’s.  Wacha Wacha Wacha.”  Yesterday, Michael Wacha took a no-hitter into the 8th inning, ending up with the line 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 8 Ks, lowering his ERA to 2.41.  At one point in the 8th inning, he hit 97 MPH on the radar gun, which was the point when I licked my finger and touched the screen to listen for a sizzle.  Since I didn’t hear the sizzle, I tried the same with an electrical socket to make sure I was alive and not a ghost.  Turns out I’m alive, but with smoke coming out my ears.  Speaking of smoke coming out of one’s ears (taking that segue right off a cliff!), Blake Snell threw about as gemmy of a gem as you’re gonna find for someone gemming up the works — 6 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners (0 walks), 12 Ks, ERA at 2.36.  Of course, Snell was yet another one of my preseason sleepers, but if only we had one more of my preseason sleepers that did well on Sunday to satisfy my Rule of Three craving.  Someone who was on no one’s radar for a reason I couldn’t quite understand.  Someone who hit three homers yesterday and has 13 homers on the year.  Wait, that did happen!  Eddie Rosario (3-for-5, 4 RBIs) went Bazooka Jack times three yesterday to seal one of the greatest days in the history of my life.  Sorry, wedding day, you’re moving down the list!  If you wanna bask in my glory:  here’s the Michael Wacha sleeper you ignored, the Blake Snell sleeper you missed and the Eddie Rosario sleeper you didn’t believe.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I went into the Mike Foltynewicz vs. Red Sox in Fenway matchup a spry, jovial young rascal.  The mischievous imp of Chinese food, the rapscallion.  Then Mike Faultywirewitz went 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners (3 BBs), 7 Ks, ERA at 2.55, and I aged forty years.  “I was told just the painting of me is supposed to age.”  That’s me trying to get a refund for my Dorian Grey Albright portrait.  The time Finkynewhitch was on the mound was like the three-year span when I lost my fortune investing in Beanie Babies compressed into two hours.  He just loses all semblance of the strike zone out of completely nowhere.  It’s like, “We’re cruising….so cruising…And now I’m throwing five feet outside the strike zone.”  With that said, it’s hard not to be encouraged — his velocity is up to 96 MPH; his K/9 is up to 10.4; he’s got the best xFIP of his career, and his team should provide run support.  He’s also in his third full year when I like to look for starter breakouts.  The only drawback is his command is a mess.  As long as you watch him pitch with cucumbers on your eyes to combat the wrinkles, you’ll be fine.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Let’s see, if Tyler O’Neill is Kelly Leak, then Coach Walter Matheny is curmudgeonly happy.  “Lean into the pitch, Whomever is the Cards catcher while Molina and Kelly are out!”  If in this reboot T. O’Neill is playing Kelly, who’s playing the girl’s role on the Cards?  Hmm, only one it could be is Tommy Herr.  Come out of retirement!  By the by, this movie?  Doesn’t hold up at all.  Don’t ever watch it again.  Remember what you can and move on.  Any hoo!  Tyler O’Neill (2-for-4, 4 RBIs, hitting .368) hit yet another homer — his third in three games — and he’s capable of hitting 30 homers.  Not over the whole year, like if we’re backtracking, I mean from today forward.  Not sure if the Cards play him, sometimes Walter Matheny appears drunk, but I would grab O’Neill for power.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

…Unless Miles Mikolas is quick to put the Royals to bed. I’m optimistic he just might. (Actually, it’s Victoria Day here in Canada, the day everyone must do my bidding, so he’s obliged to.) As of Monday morning, the Royals are last in MLB. Mikolas hasn’t earned more than 2 runs in a game since early April, and other than his last start, when he was yanked after 85 pitches, he tends to go nice and deep into games. He’s got my vote for pitcher on Draft today. [Sidebar: Also for 70s throwback/Paul Rudd’s gloriously mustached father.] But in case all your competitors decide to try drafting him as well, let’s look at some other pitching options, after the jump. Spoiler: there’s not a lot of depth, so I’d look to draft your pitcher early today.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?