Please see our player page for Jeremy Hellickson to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Yesterday, Tyler Glasnow like an Afrikaan miner threw a gem — 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 0.53. Hey, I wrote a Tyler Glasnow sleeper this year, so I’m down with TG-AF — that’s Tyler Glasnow as f**k! Yes, I’d love to mock the Pirates for trading him away. However, I’m not sure how much we can’t discount how Ray Searage preaches contact and is a wet blanket on Ks-slash-some pitchers, i.e., Glasnow may never have been this pitcher on the Pirates. Then throw-in Meadows into the trade, though? I mean, what were the Pirates thinking? “Argh, we’re dumb.” Pirates should be cursing themselves, which would sound like, “Plankety plank plank!” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
What an absolute trip this offseason has been, huh? Emphasis on ‘has been,’ and hyphenated. And trip as in “catch one’s foot on something and stumble or fall or other Macy Gray lyrics.” And ‘trip’ might actually be a misspelling of ‘drip.’ To recap, what an absolute drip this offseason has-been, huh? Players have already reported and Manny Machado is only now signing and Bryce Harper still hasn’t, said the man who likes to point out the obvious. Obvious Man continued, “I need oxygen to breathe.” Shut up, Obvious Man! Yesterday, the Padres signed Manny Machado to a 10-year, $300 million contract. We should’ve seen this coming all along. After all, San Diego is the world’s most languid city. Also, remember all those people saying Machado would sign with the White Sox, due to Yonder Alonso signing there and being his brother-in-law? I mean, a guy doesn’t want to be with his in-laws? No kidding!
Now Machado will be in the cozy position of hitting between Ian Kinsler and Eric Hosmer. Does he just prefer to hit in garbage lineups? Was Balty-more (how I say it) not bad enough for him? What an absolute shizzshow this 1st round has become. In the top 10 for 2019 fantasy baseball, I’ve moved Machado down to another tier as the 2nd tier in the top 10 becomes increasingly barren. “Acuña or Trea Turner or die,” as my bumper sticker I’m manufacturing says. Petco isn’t the ‘terrible’ park everyone has made it out to be in past years, i.e. Petco isn’t for the birds and is not a dog of a park or–Fill in your own damn animal pun! It’s still makes me shudder hard at thinking of hitting in front of Hosmer, but, as previously mentioned on the aforementioned tip, hitting in the Orioles’ lineup wasn’t amazing either and Machado did fine for many years. I did lower his projections in the top 10, and I’m now way more tentative on him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw for fantasy baseball this offseason:
PSYCH! Before getting into the post, we have an announcement:
Razzball Introduces An Ad-Free Option
I know, I know, I know, but you love seeing ads for “Kate Hudson Beauty Secrets” that then lead you to a free Amazon gift card which is actually an Eastern European man living in Nigeria who managed to clone your DNA from your IP address and just slept with your wife using the Amazon Gift Card Clone, who goes by the name, Tommy. I love those ads too! They are terrific! However, and this is going to come as a shock to some of you, there’s people who don’t appreciate the IP clone illegal download software ads that sleep with your wife. I know, shocker! For those people, Razzball is introducing an ad-free option. As Rudy tells me, direct people to the Tools Subscription page and they can figure it out from there. I have my doubts, but what better way to prove me wrong? The ad-free subscription runs for 250 days — a Jewish calendar year! — and is only for one sport. There is now a Log In in the top menu for people too, so if you’re a subscriber, there’s no more need to email Rudy or I asking, “Hey, I bought the subscriptions and I can’t figure out where to log in? Is it at the log in page?” Wait until we introduce the “Grey comes to your house and just operates your computer for you” option. Anyway, here’s the roundup:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I don’t pay much attention to Spring Training Statistics. You never know who the statistics are coming against. Baseball-Reference did, however, have an amazing tool last year that attempted to quantify the quality of opposing pitchers or batters faced during spring training games on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being MLB talent and 1-3 being high A to low A level. This tool is great, but it averages all the Plate Appearances or batters faced. You would still need a deeper dive to see if your stud prospect smacked a donger off of Chris Sale or off of your kid’s future pony league baseball coach. So what should we watch for in March when we’re starved for the crack of the bat? Ignore “best shape of their life” stories and Spring Training statistical leaderboards. Pay attention to injuries and lineup construction and position battles! Also pay attention to where Bryce Harper and Manny Machado sign… Note that those two signings can instantly eliminate some of the position battles detailed herein.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jeremy Hellickson, SP, Wrist Sprain: After missing most of June with a DL stay, Hellickson finds himself back there again, this time with a more serious wrist injury. Hellickson has had an interesting season — he’s allowed more than 3 ERs just once in his 18 starts, but has also only pitched 6 innings twice. Stash or Trash: The Nationals are being optimistic in their hopes that Hellickson will only miss one start. A pitcher with a wrist injury to their throwing hand? I’d expect a longer stay. I’d still stash him though until we hear more. Fill In: Last week when I had to make a lot of starting pitcher recommendations, the guys I recommended with an ERA of 15.00. So this week with so many starting pitchers placed on the DL I’m going to make all my SP recommendations that I truly believe in at the bottom.Please, blog, may I have some more?
*visoring your eyes with your hand, squinting at the light as you emerge from your mother’s basement* “Hey, mom, it’s the All-Star break and I thought I’d come up to say hello.” Where the house once stood, it’s now a Whole Foods, and you’re standing in the cheese aisle. Confused, you approach a man in Birkenstocks, “Excuse me, is this 450 Palm Terrace Road?” “It is.” “Wasn’t there a row of houses here?” “Back in March, they bulldozed this area when the yuppies won a city ordinance that says there needs to be a Whole Foods within at least three-quarters of a mile of another Whole Foods.” You reel back, overwhelmed with how your family is gone and how you’ve been living in a Whole Foods basement. You turn to an employee, “I need to sit down, and can I get a free sample of any cheese?” You smile, revealing Cheetos-dusted teeth, and thus begins your All-Star break. Tomorrow, I’ll drop the top 100 for the 2nd half, then there will be a Buy/Sell again Friday morning. One guy who will have extra time this All-Star break will be Mike Matheny. Last week it was revealed, Mike McNulty set up a sting operation in the Cards’ bullpen to see if everyone was doing their best with Bud “Bubbles” Norris as his informant. Then when the Cards fired Donnie Brasco Matheny, he might’ve took his informant with him, because Jordan Hicks (1 IP, 1 ER) got Sunday’s save and Norris came down with mysterious arm concerns. I’d absolutely grab Hicks. You know what’s the difference between Hicks and Norris? One makes you say, “Ooh MPH…” The other makes you say, “Oompha.” Also, usually I ignore trade rumors, but at this time of the year, you should be extra vigilant about backing up closers because at any point in the next two weeks a closer could get traded and you don’t want to leave it up to getting to the waiver wire before everyone else. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Trevor Bauer continued to keep the drool moist on his owners’ chins — 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.30. The other day some ‘perts listed their biggest surprises of the 2nd half, and one (maybe more) talked about how surprised they were about Bauer. Yeah, shocker. *insanely long pause, staring straight ahead* Really, really surprised. *just a dead-eyed stare, slowly picks up Capri Sun, sips real slow on tiny straw, lets out long burp* Yup, no one saw that coming. Yesterday, it was too bad, Cody Allen had an epic Kazaam — 2/3 IP, 6 ER, moving his ERA up to 4.66. I’m just going to sit down for a second. Aw geez, it hurts to sit. I’m going to lie on my stomach. Make the pain go away. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Trea Turner hit his 10th and 11th homer, contributing 8 RBIs, touching home plate three times for those jimmies (what they call runs on the east coast) and hitting .280 on the year. Feels like people are not excited about Turner so much this year. I get it, he’s only on pace for 20 […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
This one just came across my desk in the Razzball news room. Apparently Walker Buehler suffered this injury (rib microfracture) three starts ago (!) but he’s a hockey player who fought his way through it. Conflicting reports about whether he’ll just miss one start or more in case they want to manage his innings. Stash or Trash: Stash. Kid’s looked great and a worthy heir to the Clayton Kershaw crown. Fill In: With another six starting pitchers going on the DL, I’m going to make my starting pitcher replacements at the bottom of this article.Please, blog, may I have some more?
From Fozzie Bear’s Big Book Of Side-Splitting Jokes (Please Laugh), “Why couldn’t you hear the guy who didn’t draft Michael Wacha? He was Mike-less. Wacha Wacha Wacha.” “Did you see him pitch yesterday? He was reWachable, knocking down Pirates like he was playing Wacha-Mole. Wacha Wacha Wacha.” “What do you get when you don’t listen to Grey’s preseason advice to draft Michael Wacha? An unbearable fantasy baseball ‘pert giving I told you so’s. Wacha Wacha Wacha.” Yesterday, Michael Wacha took a no-hitter into the 8th inning, ending up with the line 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 8 Ks, lowering his ERA to 2.41. At one point in the 8th inning, he hit 97 MPH on the radar gun, which was the point when I licked my finger and touched the screen to listen for a sizzle. Since I didn’t hear the sizzle, I tried the same with an electrical socket to make sure I was alive and not a ghost. Turns out I’m alive, but with smoke coming out my ears. Speaking of smoke coming out of one’s ears (taking that segue right off a cliff!), Blake Snell threw about as gemmy of a gem as you’re gonna find for someone gemming up the works — 6 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners (0 walks), 12 Ks, ERA at 2.36. Of course, Snell was yet another one of my preseason sleepers, but if only we had one more of my preseason sleepers that did well on Sunday to satisfy my Rule of Three craving. Someone who was on no one’s radar for a reason I couldn’t quite understand. Someone who hit three homers yesterday and has 13 homers on the year. Wait, that did happen! Eddie Rosario (3-for-5, 4 RBIs) went Bazooka Jack times three yesterday to seal one of the greatest days in the history of my life. Sorry, wedding day, you’re moving down the list! If you wanna bask in my glory: here’s the Michael Wacha sleeper you ignored, the Blake Snell sleeper you missed and the Eddie Rosario sleeper you didn’t believe. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?