Let’s break this down like Murray Chass would want it.  Felix Hernandez has the 2nd best ERA in the AL, fourth most Ks, and 14 wins.  When his team needed a win more than anything, so Grey (me) could possibly collect on a preseason bet he foolishly made for the Mariners to win the World Series, Felix choked up 8 ER in 4 2/3 IP, raising his ERA to 2.34.  Felix has the 2nd best xFIP, 3rd best WAR for a pitcher and 8th best K-rate, but since we’re doing this as Murray would’ve wanted it, “What the flip is xFIP and I fought in Dubya Dubya Two and F-Her doesn’t know anything about WAR!  Now stop with the Pollyanna chicken crap!”  Did F-Her just lose the Cy Young award?  He did if all the voters are subjected to a fifteen minute wait in a post office line with Mr. Chass.  “Mr. Chass, did you print out an email to snail mail it?”  “I don’t trust the internet!”  Did the Mariners just lose all hope at the playoffs?  F-Her, you effed me.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we get into the roundup, here’s our last baseball podcast of the season.  It was Nick and I going at it old school with just his lovely voice and my screeching.  No video this time because Nick’s growing out his mole hairs for the winter.  (Don’t ask; he’s Canadian.)  We discuss players for 2015 and what to expect, and, of course, I sing.  Like a baller!  Anyway II, here’s the roundup (and podcast):

Dalton Pompey – 1-for-3 and his 1st homer.  Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, Pompey’s burning and Munenori Kawasaki’s wheels have rust.

Jose Bautista – 2-for-3, 3 runs.  Gotta love when guys finish strong.  Or just finish a sentence with the word strong.

Edwin Encarnacion – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 34th homer.  Here’s hoping Domonic Brown goes to the Blue Jays this offseason and gets taught by Dwayne Murphy.

Marcus Stroman – Won’t make another start this year when he returns from his suspension.  The writing on the wall was there for this, only you couldn’t read it because it was a 15-year-old tagger writing it in bubble letters.  Stop with the bubble letters, graffiti artists, it’s impossible to read.

R.A. Dickey – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA down to 3.78.  Pretty forgettable year from Dickey.  Too bad, a guy named Dickey with a knuckleball has so much promise.

Jacob deGrom – Was shut down for the season.  Makes sense to shut him down at 178 2/3 IP this year, if the Mets want to line up both him and Wheeler needing Tommy John surgery next year.

Juan Lagares – Won’t return this season due to his elbow sprain.  Hopefully he can put his outstanding defense to good use this winter.  “Clean up in aisle 5–Forget it, Lagares made the grab!  And what a grab it was!”

Jenrry Mejia – Will have hernia surgery on October 2nd once the season ends.  If Dr. James Andrews performs the operation, he’ll put an elbow tendon in his testicles, so Mejia can throw with his penis like he’s a jai alai player.

Wilmer Flores – 2-for-4, 2 runs and hitting around .300 in the last week.  Not exactly turning on the ball with authority, but he could be a slight hot schmotato in the final days.

Denard Span – Left yesterday’s game after a diving catch.  I didn’t see it, but I like to think he robbed a hit and, it was so nice, he was carried out of the stadium by two doves with the announcer saying, “What a beautiful wing Span.”

Tanner Roark – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 1 K, ERA down to 2.85.  Put on your red vest, future boy, and think about next year’s draft.  Where’s Roark gonna go?  Before the top 200 overall?  Around 175?  Probably, I’d guess.  That’s a guy with a 2.85 ERA.  Sure, his peripherals aren’t sterling, but still.  Roark’s next start looks nice on the Stream-o-Nator, but I don’t trust any pitchers going on the last days of the season, especially not ones on playoff-bound teams.

Adam LaRoche – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 26th homer.  Last year he had a lousy year, year before a terrific year, year before that not good at all.  Can anyone say Saberhagenmetrics?  If you can’t, you might want to see a speech therapist.

Xander Bogaerts – Wasn’t able to start yesterday due to his sore neck, so I had Derek Jeter in my fantasy lineup.  Out of re2pect.  And because my other option was Adeiny Hechavarria.  No di2re2pect.

Kevin Kiermaier – Missed yesterday’s game with an illness.  If this news affected your fantasy team’s fortunes in any way, you have much bigger fish to fry.

Alex Cobb – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA down to 2.75.  He ended up not having quite as dominating a year as I would’ve hoped for him in the preseason, but that has less to do with his ratios, and more to do with the time he missed due to his injury.  His preseason projected ratios:  2.96/1.09.  His numbers now:  2.75/1.12.  He still has one more start to give up some runs and no hits.

Matt Joyce – 2-for-4 and his 9th homer.  The team with Joyce that was abandoned in April is kicking ass!

Mike Minor – Won’t make his final start.  If only he didn’t make his first 25 starts.

Alex Wood – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.78.  Of course, he lost.  The Braves don’t give him any support ever.  If the Braves were a chair, they’d be a bean bag.  Forced metaphor points!

Gerrit Cole – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA down to 3.78.  I’ll say only this, even Harang’s ERA is lower than that.

Tony Watson – 1 IP, 0 ER and his 2nd save because Melancon had gone too many days in row.  Speaking of Watson, anyone watch the Sherlock BBC show?  Why does everyone love this and I can’t get past the 3rd episode?  Am I stupid?  Don’t answer that.  Just can’t get past not liking Benedict Cumberland Farms.  Wawa, my loss, I guess.

Joe Mauer – Left yesterday’s game with a bruised elbow.  If anyone can get put on a 15-day DL with only five days left, Mauer’s the man!

Kyle Gibson – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA down to 4.50 as Gibson easily managed the Diamondbacks.  First time for everything!

Trevor Plouffe – 4-for-4, 1 run.  I just love when my batty calls do well the day after I drop them.  Plouffe goes my head through a wall!

Ender Inciarte – 4-for-5, 1 run, 1 RBI.  Okay, no idea where this was when he was in Coors this past weekend, but he now has multiple hits in two straight games with a steal, and any guy that has a four-hit night is a strong candidate for a hot schmotato.  No time to wait and I’d grab him now.

Nelson Cruz – 3-for-5 and his 40th homer.  The Cruz family were all watching from their living room, celebrating until his militant brother said Nelson better not get injured in the postseason and ruin his contract year.  Boras shushed him, sitting next to a single mother, whose poonanny he was shoplifting.

Kelly Johnson – 3-for-5 and his 7th homer, against his former team.  Though, in fairness to the entire league, Kelly Johnson can’t hit a homer against a team he hasn’t played for.

Nick Markakis – 4-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 13th homer.  Reggie Jackson is my Jesus, and I hate seeing guys tie him for most homers in a World Series game, but wouldn’t mind seeing Markakis do it, so some suckers overdraft him next year.

Brian McCann – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 23rd homer, and his 3rd homer in the last three games.  About as hot a hitting catcher right now.  Okay, enough about him, New York Media we need a new update on Tanaka or a fitting tribute to Captain Jetes!  Stat!

Angel Pagan – Will have season-ending back surgery on Thursday.  The pull of the two dichotomies of men, the Angel and the Pagan, on both his shoulders was too much for his back to handle.

Madison Bumgarner – 7 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks vs. Zack Greinke (8 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks).  Bumgarner pitchslapped Greinke in this game for his 4th homer of the year.  Joe Mauer also has 4 homers.  No judgments, just facts.

Justin Turner – 2-for-4 and two solo homers (6, 7).  The Dodgers are having one of those years where everyone contributes.  Even Justin Turner.  He’s not playing every day, so it’s hard to recommend Turner, and usually he’s only good for slap hits.   Right, Tina?

Carlos Gomez – 2-for-3 and a slam (22) and legs (34), hitting .283 on the year.  You can say what you want about the Brewers, and I will.  They seem as if they are only interested in individual stats.  Well, none of my fantasy leagues have a category for Team Wins for the Player, so whatevs.

Mike Fiers – 5 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Fiers strikes me– Are you a match?  Stop punny brain!  He strikes me as a guy that will be overdrafted next year by people who think they’re smarter than the average fantasy baseballer and it will come back to haunt them.

Johnny Cueto – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, moving his ERA to 2.29 and his record to 19-9.  He’s hoping to catch the bouquet from Kershaw at the Cy Young ceremony.

Todd Frazier – 2-for-4 and his 28th homer.  Frazier was one of many guys I went over in today’s podcast.  My shizz was so eloquent I sounded like a Brit asking Nick to pass a crumpet.  Or I sounded like, “Um, yeah, well, yeah, um, true.”  I’ll let you see which it is.

Devin Mesoraco – 1-for-3 and his 25th homer.  Wait until you see where he ended up in the end-of-the-season rankings for catchers that are coming next week.  I’ll give you a hint, you could just look at our Player Rater.

Jake Smolinski – 3-for-4, hitting .377.  If I would’ve drafted Smolinski instead of Rios and just played Jake all year, I would’ve been better off.  Smolinski has hits in nine of his past ten games and two homers in that time.  I gave you a Smolinski post last week, and nothing’s changed, he’s still hot schmolinskiing.

Ryan Rua – 2-for-3.  Yes, this is the best the Rangers have looked all year.  Sorry, Comatose Rangers Fan.

Jake Petricka – 0 IP, 1 ER and his 6th loss.  Ah, the ol’ Robin Ventura confidence booster!

Adam Eaton – 2-for-4, 1 run, hitting near-.350 in the last week, as he returned from his one-day absence for a family issue.  He must not be Italian or Jewish.  My family couldn’t decide where to go to dinner in one day.

David Price – 8 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.36, and the no decision because wins are stupid.  Know what’s stupider?  That players who are traded intra-league keep their stats, and the players’ stats traded between leagues don’t track.  Now that we have interleague games in September, can’t we just keep the stats the same?  For serious, it annoys me.  Possibly only me.  Okay, moving on.

Shelby Miller – 4 1/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA up to 3.74.  Well, there’s always the postseason for people to get unnecessarily jazzed over Miller.

Matt Szczur – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer.  Someone buy this guy a vowel.  Reading his last name has been known to cause epilepsy.

Welington Castillo – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 13th homer.  NL-Only’ers who own him rejoice, everyone else looks at their waivers for Welington saying, “Where’s the boeuf?”

Kyle Hendricks – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA up to 2.46.  Don’t think the Stream-o-Nator has liked any of his starts all year, and his last one of the year on Sunday is no different.  He won’t get you Ks, but I’d stream if I were desperate.

Sonny Gray – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA down to 3.21.  Leave it to my boy to throw a junky start last week for you right before he throws arguably his best start of the year.  A chip off the ol’ mustache.

Gordon Beckham – 1-for-3 and his 9th homer as he played 3rd because the Sciosciapath benched their hottest bat, David Freese, and played all of his regulars.  Make sense?  Of course not!

Wade LeBlanc – 5 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 1 K vs. the A’s.  Right now, the A’s can’t score if Joey Tribbiani was pitching.  As witnessed yesterday.

Danny Salazar – 4 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA up to 4.25.  While I go to the bathroom, I’m going to leave my drink with this nice man who is carrying a cooler that is dripping blood.  *five hours later*  Why am I in this tub full of ice?  Am I doing the Ice Bucket Challenge?  And why is my kidney being dropped into a Ziploc bag?  AH!!!  Roofie!!!

Yordano Ventura – 7 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA down to 3.07.  I guess I should’ve started him instead of Alex Wood.  Alas, I did too many drugs as a youth and my smarts went out the…what’s that thing you open to get air into your house?  The Stream-o-Nator is pretty meh on his last start of the year, and, even though it doesn’t take this into consideration, I would be careful of him only throwing a few innings as the Royals rev their engine for the playoffs.

Alex Gordon – 2-for-4, 2 runs and 2 RBIs, hitting .265.  It would be easier to say who didn’t have multiple hits yesterday in the Royals starting lineup, Aoki, Alcides, Infante and Mostsuckass.  Okay, so only five guys out of nine did have multiple hits.  I didn’t say it was a huge difference between the haves and have nots.  What do you think this is?  The American class system?

Henderson Alvarez – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA down to 2.70.  Mr. NyQuility Start puts you to sleep with his nighttime, no Ks, low baserunners, stuffyhead, fever, so-you-can-rest-easy starter.  The Stream-o-Nator doesn’t like his next start, but it also doesn’t realize he’s going to get a B-lineup by the Nats and I’d start Alavarez.

Jonathan Papelbon – Will take over the closer job again as he returned from his suspension for grabbing his crotch.  Might think twice before making another Papelboner.

Cole Hamels – 7 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.47, moving his record to 9-8.  Hamels seems like the first guy to don his flashiest purple suit for a bachelor’s auction with his wife at home thinking he went to watch The Notebook at a revival theater, so this bad win karma couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

Today, I’ll leave the last word to frequent commenter, Nick the Dick:

Razzball Razzball, wanna win a title?
Then follow all of Grey’s posts like he’s your f*ckin idol,
Up in the league, head to head, points or roto,
Got a question for G, Rudy or J-FOH,
Ask Smokey, Mike, Sky, or Ralph cuz they know,
Which moves to make and every hot schmotato,
You need a quick answer? Just ask,
“This trade sounds solid for me.”  Cool, word to Grey’s mustache,
Damn, my staff getting smashed and I have better guys than he has,
When the hell is Taijuan gonna finish rehab?!,
I can’t lie, losing Jose Fernandez hurts,
But Iwakuma is my new love jones slurp SLURP,
Oh, he gave up five runs today? Burp,
Yes!  It was a ticker shock, four of ’em unearned,
But I started a hodgepadre and got burned,
So I guess I’m starting Wheeler in Coors Field,
And if I bite the silver bullet it’s not really a big deal,
Cuz I got tied to the WHIPping post, my ERA is ruined,
God dammit, what is the Sciosciapath doing?
Leaving Weaver in for 120 pitches and he blew it,
Tough year for saves, the closepocalypse was born,
You bought a $12 salad while I’m riding a Donkeycorn,
So you better handcuff ya closers,
Ya took Cano first round and look at me with Brian Dozier,
You just a player hater cuz I have three guys tops on the player rater,
And I’m a chronic rosterbator-slash-master trader,
But my guys falling apart at the seams, like Corey Hart’s knees,
And I can’t take another visit to Dr. Freeze!  Please!  Please!
CarGo and Tulo are injured every time they sneeze,
In five leagues with four injury-plagued teams,
Ryan Zimmerman down, poof,
Who’s the better fill in, Cody Asche or Trevor Plouffe?
Is it finally time to drop Jay Bruce?
Devin Mesoraco or Oso Blanco?
And who’s the better stash, Taveras or Polanco?
But really the best ‘stache is Grey’s, Cust kayin’,
Stop asking if you should drop Gyorko, just play him,
I pull off slick trades, I’m diabolical,
I watch prospects like a cyclops with a monocle,
I’m sick of Billy Butler, Country Breakfast, Mr. Ham and Eggs,
Hoping Adam Jones can get me a slam and legs,
I need that sweet sweet SAGNOF, so gimme some sugar, um, Cain,
If Yu Darvish finished that no hitter I woulda came,
I’m just razzin ya, if you got power I’m grabbin ya,
For a batty call, that is all I need cuz i’m havin’ a,
Nice week, but this start against the Jays is giving me anxiety,
But I’m part of the Corey Kluber society,
So I’m throwing him and throwing caution to the wind,
If I throw Gausman you think he’ll get me a win?
Estrada gave up another bomb I can’t stand him,
How the hell you give up three in Crayola Canyon?
And if I have to look at Wade Miley’s smugshot for another second,
After I forgot to play Heyward and sonavabenched him,
Imma go off the deep end, but pitching is so deep and,
I hope you didn’t take a starter before round ten,
All you gotta do is get your Razzball on,
And if you didn’t and you lost your league you know where you went wrong,
Eff listening to Matty Berry or the ‘Get Him In Your Lineup’ guys,
Keep this site in your sight and keep your eyes on the prize.
Razzball beeyotch!!

  1. Aaron says:
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    HA… Madison Bumgarner with as many home runs as Joe Mauer. That’s outstanding! Bumgarner also had 424 less plate appearances.

    • Bill says:
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      @Aaron: Jeter has 4 too! In 586 ABs. Bumgarner’s 4 in 66 ABs is a better rate than Jorge Soler’s 5 in 73!

      • Eng says:
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        @Bill: I’m no math whizz but it should be obvious that 4 in 66 isn’t a better rate than 5 in 73. (pitcher vs hitter not withstanding!)

    • Steve Stevenson says:
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      @Aaron: Yeah, but I could’ve done without him getting trotted out there in the 8th after 100+ pitches to give up a HR and lose the QS. Thanks, BalloonHead!

      Wish there were a league out there that gave credit for pitchers’ counting stats with the bat, but not ratios–just a little bonus for your Bumgarners and Zambranos. Would be a tremendously fun way to win or lose a matchup.

      • JashFath

        JashFath says:
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        @Steve Stevenson: I was just saying this to my buddy a couple days ago! Don’t have their batting average or OPS count against you, but if your pitcher his a dinger, let me have it! It would make drafting the Bumgarners, Greinkes, and Travis Woods all the more enjoyable….. well the Bumgarners and Greinkes at least.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Aaron: Yup, and yup

  2. Dominican Power says:
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    King Felix caught what ever the fuck Paxton caught in Canada.

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @Dominican Power: i had both of them in one league finals, thank god opp had salazar and mccarthy, or ERA/WHIP might be non-competitive. as is it’s close. i also had gray/carrasco/cobb, whew!

    • Sam "CrimeDogs" says:
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      @Dominican Power: had him in BOTH of finals and was at the game rooting for him to right the ship against my real life team.

      ppl started looking at me sideways so i played the whole just rooting for a fellow cdn card

      paxton hand in your passport at the border and dont come back north

  3. Murf says:
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    Last few days of work to pull off a championship. Thanks for all the hard work fellas.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Murf: No problem, good luck!

  4. matt says:
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    Great stuff all year. I am 5 days away from championship. Up by 12 points in root 13 team mixed league. Thanks for all the help. Kluber and Brantley have been draft keys to my win. All from reading your preseason reviews. Also doing the 1st and 2nd pairing of mccucthchen and pujols from preseason article. Henderson Alvarez has been a key.

    Thank you again and can’t wait until 2015.

    • matt says:
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      @matt: forgot also picked up JD Martinez when he was hotscmotato.

      Love this site

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @matt: Thanks! Congrats!

  5. Tigres says:
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    Way to end the year with rhyme. That was like Sonny Boy’s 12 Ks, perfect timing.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Tigres: Yup, that was all Nick

  6. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    whiffed on not picking up gibson for that start. SON called it perfectly. i went streamless in that league and grabbed burton for yesterday. for dynasty purposes drop any of hutchison/kazmir for either of carmart/petit?
    2. drop cain for alcantara/marisnick/grichuk? not even sure if i’m keeping that roster slot, but may as well set myself up with best player for future in case.

  7. Gus Pike says:
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    Nick the Dick – that was beautiful…

    • nick the dick says:
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      @Gus Pike: Thank you kind sir

  8. goodfold2 says:
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    that stats thing should annoy absolutely everyone, since it’s stupid, but people and inertia….

  9. Justin Lipson says:
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    Grey, got Wood (ha!) and Fiers lined up for Sunday starts, Fiers rated $22 by SON and Wood is $15. Was last night a hiccup for Fiers, or should I be cautious with his last start on Sunday?

    Planning on pulling the load-my-lineup-with-all-staters-so-I-get-a-ton-of-stats-right-before-I-go-over-my-IP-limit trick.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Justin Lipson: I have Wood too (weird!)…. I’d be cautious of Fiers

  10. SportiveTricks says:
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    I feel more and more sad as this week goes on, Grey.

    Anyway, thoughts on Arrieta tonight? It’s confusing the fecal matter out of me. SoN kinda likes him at $8.6, but it likes Lackey way better and the Cards should still be playing for the division, right?

    Love yas! Muah!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @SportiveTricks: I’m here, we’re here, don’t be sad! I’d go with Arrieta tonight….

  11. Lville Jim says:
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    Mejia pitching with his shlong could singlehandedly revive the spitter.

  12. henry rowengartner says:
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    Hey Grey, I have two moves left and I’m chasing K’s and W’s. Here are my stream options for tomorrow: Kevin Gausman @ NYY, David Buchanan @ MIA, David Hale vs. SEA, Jeremy Hellickson @ BOS, David Homberg vs. MIL, Allen Webster vs. TB, Trevor May vs. ARI, and Colby Lewis vs HOU. Once again not the prettiest but I’m looking to pick 1 person up. How do you feel about Hellickson @ BOS?

  13. GG says:
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    New glossary term suggestion. “Chicksit” — when you don’t start a quality pitcher because you have a slight lead in ERA or WHIP and you’re afraid he will cause you to lose the lead. Ex. “My buddy Bob chickensat Bumgarner, Roark and Fiers in our NL-only league last night because he had a 0.02 lead in WHIP, but they combined for 18 2/3 IPs and a 0.857 WHIP. I had Grienke and Hendricks for 15 1/3 IPs and a 0.917 ERA and have passed him in WHIP and, consequently, first place!”

    • GG says:
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      “Chickensit” not “Chicksit.” Doh!

    • Justin Lipson says:
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      @GG: Or when you start Fiers over Wood because you know Wood wont get any support and Fiers goes and loses as well, but only goes 5 and doesnt give you a QS.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @GG: I kinda love that, gonna add it to the glossary

  14. Basement Artie says:
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    Can we give the Clockwork Orange award to the Texas Rangers this year? As in, “I can Smolinski that Rua from way over here. Rougned Odor!”

  15. Phil of the Future says:
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    I am allowed 15 minutes a day of internet from the Chinese prison I’m in and I used half of it for Razzball. The other half was split between “me time” and skyping with my family. Not at the same time obviously, perverts….

    Not looking great for me, old buddy. I need to turn things around fast in my matchup. On the bright side, my WHIP(not ERA) went from 4.88 down to 2.31 last night. So that’s good, right? Right?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Phil of the Future: You should just let your family Skype with you while you’re at Razzball, two birds, one stone… Still early! (Hopefully)

      • Phil of the Future says:
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        @Grey: Grey any chance you can change the logo to a Chinese flag? I could get loads more Razzball time if I can show that to the guards….

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          You should have a Chinese flag paper cut out that you slide on top of your screen so it looks like every site is the Chinese government site…

          • Phil of the Future says:
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            @Grey: A genius idea! But guards say paper is for “western capitalist pigs” and so we aren’t allowed any. C’est la vie, I suppose.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Fashion a piece of cloth into a computer hoodie with the flag…

              • Phil of the Future says:
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                @Grey: *gets caught defacing prison-issue clothing*

                *sentenced to an additional 20 years and losing bamboo privileges*

                Dammit, Grey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  I’m going to get my army of mustaches to march in Tienanmen Square for you

                  • Phil of the Future says:
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                    @Grey: The Million Mustache March. I love it!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Then we’ll break into a well-choreographed Thriller dance routine

  16. VidalSassuno says:
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    Nuno, today?
    Gotta bad feeling, but need the start.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @VidalSassuno: I wouldn’t mess with him if I didn’t need the start, but if you need it, what are you going to do?

  17. JeF With 1 F says:
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    FACT OF THE DAY:
    The official color of California’s Golden Gate Bridge is International Orange.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @JeF With 1 F: And pigeon crap white in most places

  18. JAL says:
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    Sorry to hear about Sherlock. Have you given Luther a shot? If not, give ‘er a go. So down to wire, if I was chasing wins but don’t want to destroy rates, would I throw any of these guys out there? Buchanan @ Mia, Gausman @ NYY, Koehler v. Phi? I know, so so bleak, but tomorrow I will eclipse on innings…really need wins…thanks!

    • james says:
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      @JAL:

      I like koehler the most of the bunch, he is a true average pitcher going against a bad lineup. I would also be willing to trot gausman out too.

      • JAL says:
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        @james: Honestly, that’s what I am thinking. Could bite me but i THINK i need wins more than i need to worry about era/whip. Have Petit going tomorrow too.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @JAL: Yeah, I love Luther, finished a while ago… Idriselba Despaigne is the man… I’d start Buchanan if I really needed wins

      • JAL says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Damn – over both Koehler and Gausman? You wouldn’t start either of those? Many thanks, as always.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I’d start all three if I were desperate… Koehler would be my 2nd choice

  19. The JoGarza says:
    (link)

    1- Nick the Dick killed it. That was incredible. I’d love for someone to put that onto a tape and upload it here.

    2- I usually play more H2H leagues than roto leagues I year, but that’s because have a big group of friends, so it’s all about the bragging rights. You don’t really get that satisfaction from roto.

    • Teddy Heater says:
      (link)

      @The JoGarza: Agreed Nick The Dick crushed it, Great Job Mang!

      • nick the dick says:
        (link)

        @The JoGarza: @Teddy Heater: Thanks fellas! There was actually some more to it but I cut it down a bit cuz it got kinda long for the comment section. My intention was to record something and post it and just didnt have a chance to, but i’ll have a dope Razzball track in time for next season

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @The JoGarza: 1. Agreed 2. I think you can get more satisfaction from roto, but that’s me

  20. Clint says:
    (link)

    So who will be higher on the Greydar for 2015: Sonny Gray or Danny Salazar?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Clint: Gray, Salazar is still too flaky

      • JeF With 1 F says:
        (link)

        @Grey: and Sonnys last name has a nice ring to it even though its spelled wrong

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, result of bad custody battle

          • JeF With 1 F says:
            (link)

            @Grey: It all makes sense now

  21. Dan says:
    (link)

    Just wanted to get a shoutout to all the razzball writers for all their hard work this year! Also to anyone still playing for a championship or has one wrapped up! I might actually win after finshing 2nd or 3rd the last four years haha. Hope this H2H lead stands up….

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Dan: No problem, good luck!

  22. Randy BoBandy says:
    (link)

    That was a terrific soliloquy!

    Jays bats returning thankfully at the right time.

    Waiver pick-ups are getting slim – thinking about Jerome Williams vs Atlanta K-Braves and Blake Treinen vs NY Mess, I know they both scream meh…

    And here’s to hoping a nice going away present from Arrieta!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Randy BoBandy: Williams would be my choice, but neither are good…

  23. Corey says:
    (link)

    Open question: Do any of you guys know where I can find a team’s total RISP for the season?

    I’m looking to compare a team’s total number of runs scored to the number of runners they had in scoring position (specifically, the Red Sox). I.e. I’m looking to see how many RISP the team has left stranded. I must be handicapable, because it seems like this is definitely a thing B-R would have and I can’t find it. What am I doing wrong? Explain it to me like I’m 5!

  24. 740 says:
    (link)

    sup Grey, cut Bogaerts for Smolinski or Valbuena? h2h

    Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @740: Smolinski

  25. Eddie says:
    (link)

    I drop Mauer……right?

      • Eddie says:
        (link)

        @Grey: I dropped him before you even replied. I don’t feel like dealing with his bullshit.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Prolly for the best

  26. Long Bawls says:
    (link)

    Re: Sherlock, we haters are the silent majority (not to be mistaken for the Guilty Remnant). It’s not very good! There’s already one show where the protag’s power is dickishness, and its name was Hung.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Long Bawls: Agreed… I don’t get it… If you have Hulu, Life on Mars is solid…

      • Long Bawls says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Yeah, Life on Mars is good. Very different, but I also recommend the Brit series Fresh Meat; you probably need a VPN to see it here (you probably already know Peep Show, on Netflix).

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          VPN? I don’t know what that is… Don’t know Peep Show either, good?

          • Long Bawls says:
            (link)

            @Grey: VPN is an internet workaround, like Hola; some shows on Toutube, BBC, etc. are country-coded. That exhausts my technical knowledge! Fresh Meat and Peep Show are both (very funny) comedies. If it’s your kind of thing, they are outstanding examples of doing what the British do best: failure, self-loathing, and terrible behavior.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Ah, nice… I’ll have to check them out… Never heard of Hola before, other than greeting my favorite taco truck driver…

              • Long Bawls says:
                (link)

                @Grey: Rita on Netflix is very good too, if you can abide by subtitles…it’s also certified cougariffic.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  So, I downloaded Hola… Can I watch Netflix as if I’m in the UK? Don’t I need to have an account there? Slightly confused… Is this more for if I’m in the UK and I have a US account already?

                  • Long Bawls says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: Last time I used it (early this year) I was able to set location/unblock using Hola so that I could watch UK Netflix in US and Youtube country-restricted stuff…I hope they haven’t eliminated that workaround. Would suck if they have. There are plenty of other VPNs out there which might not be blocked, but some of them do nasty things to your computer.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Yup, it worked… Just needed to sign in… Thanks for the heads up! Cougar nearly had sex with me just because we can now watch Erin Brockovich from Netflix Uruguay!

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  I’m a moron, I figured it out… You just sign in as if you’re with your computer in another country…

                  • Long Bawls says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: Pretty much my experience every time I have to do anything other than turn my computer on. Baseball and television…we’re in the golden age. For a little while, anyway.

                    • Mantis Toboggan MD says:
                      (link)

                      @Long Bawls: can also (if need be go to a location outside your home to load it) just pirate these shows/movies. Somebody i’ve heard of even fills up whole hard drives with these things.

  27. Brade says:
    (link)

    TLDR, Nick the Dick. Learn how to do haiku or something!

    • nick the dick says:
      (link)

      @Brade: 1. Thanks for making me google what TLDR is. 2. No sweat to me if you don’t wanna read it. 3. You try encapsulating a whole seasons worth of highs, lows while showing the awesomeness of this site with glossary terms to boot in just a haiku. It’s a miracle it wasn’t longer.

      • JeF With 1 F says:
        (link)

        @nick the dick: I think Haiku was just Brade sneezing. God Bless You Brade….and lose the E on the end of your name.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Haha

      • JeF With 1 F says:
        (link)

        @nick the dick: My bad i forgot to leave this here..*Drops Mic*

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          *picks up mic* Hey, you dropped this

          • JeF With 1 F says:
            (link)

            @Grey: Its not mine i borrowed it from Nick

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Give it back!

              • JeF With 1 F says:
                (link)

                @Grey: You picked it up last, how can i give it back?

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Oh, shoot, I left it in my car and Cougs took the car to the psychic and, dah, my bad!

        • nick the dick says:
          (link)

          @JeF With 1 F: ha nice, ill hold onto it with care for you…

          • JeF With 1 F says:
            (link)

            @nick the dick: Thats what she said

    • And Now The Jon Lovitz Dancers! says:
      (link)

      @Brade: are you serious? that was awesome, and he left some out (wish he wouldn’t have), you don’t have to read it at all.

  28. Jason says:
    (link)

    Of course Sonny gives a magnificent start…sonovabench for me there.

    I needed a spot start last night and i had MArisnick on my bench since he was sitting but had to drop him to get the starter. and being that i can’t pick him back up until he clears waivers now and i need a bat which one you taking:
    Garcia
    Cain…sugar!
    Joyce
    Markakis
    Smolinski

    need to keep 4, pick em:
    Freeman, Arenado, Beltre, Stanton (no brainer), J-Upton, Puig
    Need to keep one:
    Sale, scherzer.

    Normally i would keep the five best bats, but i don;t pick until the 11th rd in my draft as it stands right now so i want to hold onto one of the two pitchers. Agrered on that or think pitching is deep enough? thanks doode for all the help throughout the season. not only is this blog the best thing in FBB and above all enjoyable to read, but the knowledge and tools you guys share are priceless (or equal to the amount of money won by heeding the advice on the site). Loved the last podcast.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Jason: Cain…. Stanton, Upton, Puig, Arenado…. Scherzer… Thanks!

  29. Pager24 says:
    (link)

    don’t know much about Joe Wieland

    would you start him @SD vs Col today?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I would if I were desperate

  30. OldMilwaukeePounders says:
    (link)

    Grey,

    Jarrod Dyson or Antoan Richardson for steals today? I have a league title in my sights and steals are going to make or break me.

    Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Dyson

      • OldMilwaukeePounders says:
        (link)

        @Grey:

        Thanks, I thought Richardson getting a start might warrant usage today. I wish KC would just play Dyson for godsakes. Maybe he can run wild on Bauer today.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Wait, is Richardson starting today? Then play him, sorry, I didn’t know…

          • OldMilwaukeePounders says:
            (link)

            @Grey:

            Yes, Richardson is starting today. I ditched a pitcher and am gonna roll both Dyson and Richardson out to rock the bells today.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Cool, good luck!

  31. Big League Wood says:
    (link)

    Tied at 1.17 WHIP with 2 teams.

    Would you run out Sale and Lohse today? I am leaning towards both.

    • Big League Wood says:
      (link)

      @Big League Wood:

      Sale at Detroit
      Lohse at Cincy

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yup, both

      • Big League Wood says:
        (link)

        @Grey:

        Thanks Grey

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          No problem

  32. JeF With 1 F says:
    (link)

    Im starting to get concerned about Malicious Phenom and his whereabouts, he went from giving full in depth updates on his match up to disappearing. Maybe “Orioles Magic” (If i remember right that was the Wonky team he was playing) Magically made him disappear. CRAM we need you to find out how this match up ended its like a cliff hanger and we cant take it!!!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I wouldn’t put anything over on Orioles Magic, they’re a student of the dark arts

  33. JeF With 1 F says:
    (link)

    And on a happy side note, looks like Jeters last home game will be rained out. Now everybody cant say goodbye to him for the 1,000th time. LEAVE ALREADY!!!

    • nick the dick says:
      (link)

      @JeF With 1 F: easy tiger….

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Wait, is it going to rain out today? Or tomorrow, cause I have Yanks in my lineup…

      • nick the dick says:
        (link)

        @Grey: gotta be tomorrrow, theyre about to play now

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Okay, whew

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Cause I have Captain Jetes with the batty call, hoping for some last days magic…

          • nick the dick says:
            (link)

            @Grey: I could use a little Jete magic to soothe my Yankee soul

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Yeah, hoping all of this fanfare equates to a big day for him

              • nick the dick says:
                (link)

                @Grey: he was hitting well the last week up until the last couple days. Lotta solid contact and a 3 rbi day

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Yeah, he’s terrible on the year, but maybe he’ll pull something out of his hat or a pitcher will groove him one for old times sake

                  • nick the dick says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: Like how Price let him hit that homer for his 3000th

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Exactly!

                  • nick the dick says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: And Wainwright grooving him one in the ASG

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Yup!

          • JeF With 1 F says:
            (link)

            @Grey: My opponent has jeter…you don’t own a team named Ken Phelps do you, Jeter is only 1% owned and you have him….Hmmmm

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Ken Phelps Is Magic, actually

              • JeF With 1 F says:
                (link)

                @Grey: Close

  34. nick the dick says:
    (link)

    G thanks for the shout man. Awesome write up and nice podcast, I like how you coyly gave away no sleeper hitters when asked ha! I coulda sworn I heard a bit of Brit amidst the Eric Young Jr fiasco talk. Maybe it was just the umms..great season all around though, this place is the best and I can’t wait til next season. And yo, I understand that you had to take out the dan pants part as to not slight another writer, but I assure you it was all in good fun cuz I remember him saying that about Davis when he was traded. Love the Pants Man, he does a great job on the weekend round ups. Big ups to the whole Razz team!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, Pants does a great job, I had to lean on the side of caution by removing it… He prolly would’ve been amused, but I didn’t want to chance it… You did a great job with the verse, shout out was nothing…

      • nick the dick says:
        (link)

        @Grey: yup I hear ya. Man you shoulda heard the J Foh/Mac Dre and the Tehol/Dom Brown disses. Too raw and uncut for the web. Haha, I keed I keed

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Which disses?

          • nick the dick says:
            (link)

            @Grey: I was saying I left them out. They’re pretend. I was joking.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Yeah, gotcha… My bad, missed it at first

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Oh, brain fart, you mean with the rhyme… Ha, gotcha…

          • seph meier says:
            (link)

            @Grey:

            No mom jeans references in the yearly summary?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              I guess not, it was Nick’s rhyme…

  35. zombie says:
    (link)

    Sobering up from the glory of a Championship wrapped up last weekend, I just wanted to thank Grey, Rudy and all Razzballers for another entertaining and informative season. Additional post-season daiquiris forthcoming. Requesting additional specific Keeper advice involving too many players (Kluber, Brantley, Soler, etc) that without your recomendation I may have overlooked, feels sort of greedy. So I’ll reserve that for the message board at a later date. However, another long time disciple success story. I thank you.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      No problem, congrats!

    • And Now The Jon Lovitz Dancers! says:
      (link)

      @zombie: good work, and apparently a very good drinking (or whatever it was) session if it took over 2 days to come off of it.

  36. MarvPesos

    Josh says:
    (link)

    Grey,
    thanks in advance, sleezing my way to the title this year, and this site to thank!
    10-tm H2H cat (I’ve got 4 moves left for the last week, opponent has none)
    I have this locked up I think, but to be sure, once my 1-start pitchers have pitched, ie Teheran tonight, I will drop them and pick up some extra bench hitters/pitcher/relievers)
    please pick 3, and the order in which you’d pick them up
    Available on the wire:
    RP – Papelbon, Mujica, Casialla
    Bat – Cuddyer, Laroche, Bogaerts, Crawford, G. Blanco

    Pit – Carrasco, Matzek

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha, nice, no problem… Casilla, Blanco, Papelbon

  37. Teddy Heater says:
    (link)

    Grey,
    Gotta drop Degrom or Shoemaker, who’s the better keeper?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      deGrom is better

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Toss up though

      • Teddy Heater says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Yeah, that’s why I asked you!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Haha… I know! I’m just saying it’s not clear cut

  38. papasmurf says:
    (link)

    Man that King Felix blowup and ugly Price 9th coulda hurt a lot of folks in close races. I figured that was a great outing for David P. Then I came back to my smurfputer and I saw it was 3-3.

    Luckily the smurfs this year have a good-sized cushion where that turn of events probably won’t hurt, but jeez in a normal year that woulda been so typical smurf.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Good to hear you’ve shaken a little of the typical Smurf misfortune this year

  39. nick the dick says:
    (link)

    Krispie Young just fouled a ball into the seats behind homeplate and Willie Randolph reaches up to make the grab. Now that’s old times sake

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Damn, if only Scooter could’ve announced it…

  40. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    It feels weird to drop Clayton Kershaw…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Then softly place him down

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Too late…I just closed my eyes and let go…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Uribe will break his fall

          • Wake Up says:
            (link)

            @Grey: “only love can break her fall”

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Juan Love Uribe

        • And Now The Jon Lovitz Dancers! says:
          (link)

          @Wake Up: wouldn’t you want to wait till after his today start?

  41. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    Nice work The Dick!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Nick work the dick?– I see I misread…

  42. SMLV1 says:
    (link)

    We starting Arrieta tonight?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I would

  43. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    btw…that is

    Nice work, The Dick!

    not

    Nice, work The Dick!

    • nick the dick says:
      (link)

      @Wake Up: HA! Thanks Wake. Nope, prob can’t work a dick very well, not that there’s anything wrong with that! I barely know how to use my own.

  44. claw dog says:
    (link)

    Hey grey its been a while.

    Question: I have kept pearce in my lineup due to the fact that I only have 3 moves a week and its championship week. Of course I have stanton and arenado on my bench but I’m planning on keeping them. Since pearce is supposedly supposed to come back tomorrow do you think I should hold him in hopes he picks up where he left off early next week? Or drop him for somebody else? I’ve been holding my moves cuz I want to save them for saturday and sunday just in case I need to catch up in Ks or Ws so thats why I’ve been hesitant on using a move on a batter. In retrospect I should have used a move monday so I wouldn’t have lost half the week with a player being out in my lineup. I expected him to come back today at latest and turns out I was wrong.

    Thanks for a great year! You’re the reason I’m here in the final in the first place!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Nice, no problem…. I’d hold Pearce at this point…

      • claw dog says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Yea I figure if I drop him today even though he’s coming back tomorrow for somebody thats hit well the past couple days, Pearce will end up hitting 3 homers in the last couple days of the season and I’ll lose cuz of that. Thats just the way fantasy works!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Ha, exactly

        • And Now The Jon Lovitz Dancers! says:
          (link)

          @claw dog: he was originally reported to come back today, then it was moved to tomorrow, maybe by tomorrow it’s moved to friday, but he did get an at bat today, so that’s not bad news.

  45. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    Speaking of working the dick…man, did I feel old on Sat. night.
    These two attractive young ladies came up to me during the first set break…they said that they had seen me at this place previously and really liked me…I said that’s cool, when? They said about ten years ago…I remembered because I happened to be playing with John Lennon’s old drummer that night…they remembered because they were there with their Mom, and had just come from shopping for clothes for high school…which they hadn’t started yet…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I hope you slept with them to show them you still got it…

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @Grey: You know I did! Timed it too, on their smartphones…not too brag but, I was able to get it done in 3 min and 42 seconds…gave them both a high five and walked home…I should say I strutted home, like a boss!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Kids prefer the fist bump after bumping uglies, I believe… I would’ve walked home like a baller, but to each his own… Sorry, I’m being too critical, you did good!

          • Wake Up says:
            (link)

            @Grey: “Sorry, I’m being too critical, you did good!”
            This is exactly what I said to the younger one…

            I thought about baller for an urban dictionary minute…but, not even ballers can strut like ballers for 7 miles…

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              …In the rain with no pants

              • Wake Up says:
                (link)

                @Grey: , up hill, wearing an Alicia Keys mask, screaming, this girl is on fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeee

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  …while being chased by a gang of thugs wearing Chris Brown masks

                  • Wake Up says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: , and a barbershop quartet wearing NFL jerseys, singing four part harmony while punching at the air…

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      …and jumping in a passing El Dorado that’s being driven by Willie Nelson with a loose bandana that keeps falling into his eyes.

  46. TadeuszKosciuszko says:
    (link)

    Just FYI: szczur in polish means rat. Maybe you can find a joke over here. I know you can

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha, nice… Enjoy the pirogis!

  47. Andrew's Favorite Name says:
    (link)

    Dear Grey,

    After hearing your voice for the first time, I’ve never felt so close to you. I used to read your posts, imagining a fairly manly narrator – suave and quick with wit, not to mention a fully grown, pornstar mustache; now I know better to hear the prepubescent-dummy-joke-teenager-man that you are! It helps me cope with my unwitty self, so thank you for that encouragement, but also for the sound advice that your pipsqueak self offers me every day except Sunday that has helped me win this year.

    Here’s to your voice finally changing and a successful 2015 for Razzball!

    Sincerely,
    Andrew

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha, thanks!

  48. JJ says:
    (link)

    Hey Grey,

    First off just wanted to thank you and the rest of the razzball team for your helpful advice and all year. Very much appreciated

    In the finals in my H2H league this week and am looking to make a couple of tweaks to my team for the last couple of days.

    I was thinking of dropping Calhoun since he doesn’t play tomorrow and faces Iwakuma, Paxton and F.Hernandez to finish the season. The other option is to drop K.Giles. I don’t know if he is going to finish up as closer or if it is going back to papelbon to finish the season.

    Possible pickups include
    N.AOKI
    E.INCIARTE
    A.GORDON
    L.CAIN
    C.GRANDERSON
    M.ADAMS
    O.ARCIA
    K.VARGAS

    I was also wondering which of these streaming options you like
    Friday
    Archer @Cle
    Hutchison vs Bal
    Garza vs Cubs

    Sorry about the long winded question.
    Thanks again

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Drop Giles for Ender… Garza

  49. Schmohawks Bob says:
    (link)

    In an AL only league, I’m tied for first and it’s going to come down to wins and saves.

    I can pick up for streaming two of the following. Could you give me who you think are the top 3, including whether they will even pitch again this regular season. Thanks in advance.

    CJ Wilson
    JA Happ
    Jeremy Guthrie
    John Danks
    Nick Martinez and Nick Tepesch
    Chris Bassitt
    Alex Colome

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’d look at SON… I have no idea of any of these guys matchups…

      • Schmohawks Bob says:
        (link)

        @Grey: SON thinks they all suck other than Happ, which it actually half likes.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Happ, Guthrie, Danks, still don’t know their matchups though

  50. MattTruss

    MattTruss223 says:
    (link)

    Nick killed it, bravo!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yup, Nick’s got crazy flow

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Nick the Dick, that is…

      • Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
        (link)

        @Grey: no need to qualify, nick does too. hehe.

  51. Johnny Podres says:
    (link)

    Advisable to pick up Gattis at this point? They announced he’ll play about 5 inn Thurs.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, if you need a catcher, go for it…

      • Johnny Podres says:
        (link)

        @Grey: I need a hitter, specifically HR—he’s eligible at OF as well.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Depends who your choices are

          • Johnny Podres says:
            (link)

            @Grey: ok thans

  52. Halkster says:
    (link)

    Championship week in a league I’m in
    Deciding whether to use adds in pitchers
    Trying to math out the starts left
    Any place to show most current starting pitchers?
    My opponent has
    Wainwright
    Gray
    Ventura
    Will they be pitching Sunday?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I doubt Gray and Ventura will or go more than a few innings just as a throw day, Wainwright won’t…

  53. Shoop Da Whoop says:
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    Chris Sale,

    Y u blow up your season long sub-2.0 BB/9 by intentionally walking Victor Martinez?

    He tipped his cap to the Tigers dugout after whiffing Miggy and V-Mart with runners on 2nd and 3rd. I kind of love Chris Sale.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      That’s pretty cool, I had missed that…

  54. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    same dynasty, finals only time, i got 5th place. keep addison reed over any of carmart/shaw/neshek/putnam/hererra/n.ramirez/farquar/walden/familia? holds and saves, i already have perkins/k-rod/j.smith/rodney/cecil, and 5 slots to play RP each day. of course carmart could go in SP slot.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’d go with Car-Mart if playing for next year

  55. Mr. Tibbs says:
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    Better batty call on the morrow, Reddick @ Texas (Lewis) or Headley vs. Bal (Gausman)?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Headley

      • Hondo says:
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        @Grey: Watch the weather

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yup

  56. Shoe Gum Reynolds says:
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    Thanks Razzball staff for all the great reads this season! Your “pick this guy up you idiot” alerts helped me stay in the race all year while still keeping my wounded ducks Au Shizz, Tulo, and Votto for next year.

    Looking forward to reading all your 2015 rankings next week. (HA!).

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha, no problem…

  57. Joel says:
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    Thanks for help all year… Trailing in finals against my arch enemy. Kipnis is killing me… On the wire Is odor,valbuena gyorko semien miller infante solarte lowrie…..I need help

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      No problem… Valbuena

  58. john says:
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    About mid week and I have my 1 move left…I have pretty flexible lineup have 1 bench bat. He is pitching out of his ass this week so I’m thinking I need a start for ks and wins. He has 9 starts left ahhh shizzz, I have 6 that be 7 if I add one he’s up by 2 wins and and has fair lead era whip w Julio going right now. At this point thinking w luck catch wins but possible get whip and fair shot ks and already won saves. 3 options

    1. Pick up sp to sneak out wins maybe ks
    Volquez v Atl. Gallardo v Cin gausman v NYY

    2. Pick up a betances hope he gets 6ks rest of week lowers whip maybe a win, meh

    3. Pick up inciarte and go for steals. I have one bench bat already tho and own Frazier betts cano Desmond Crawford puig to get random steals. He has pollock leonys Alexei for sb he’s up 3-1

    Note I have 4 closers he has none. Should be able to get 7-8 ks rest if week with them maybe a win.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Go with Edinson

  59. Mark says:
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    Thinking out loud for next year – I can keep 5 of the following at the corresponding round:
    Definite: Goldy (8th Rd), Chapman (Rd 18)
    Probable: C Kershaw (Rd 2), B Hamilton (Rd 17), G Cole (Rd 20)
    Possible: B Dozier (Rd22), K Vargas (Rd22), K Bryant (Rd 22), J Pederson (Rd22), C McHugh (Rd22)
    Which 5 would you keep? Who would the 6th be if I could keep 6?

    Thanks, Grey!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Hamilton, Dozier, Goldy, Aroldis, Kershaw and Pederson

  60. Mello Yello says:
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    The real Xander Bogaerts is standing up

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Love that!

  61. J-FOH says:
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    Anyone else having problems with ESPN, I got booted out and can’t get back in

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      They found out you write for Razzball

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: I’ve been outed!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Was those weekend jaunts to see Sky

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: I think Steve sent them a memo. That’s some dirty kiwi pool.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              He probably asked them to turn off the power for five days since he didn’t have internet

              • J-FOH says:
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                @Grey: he’s so nice they probably did it

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Right? I wanna move to New Zealand!

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @Grey: If I went I would be called Jack Overflowing With Kindness

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      That would be your ring name after you turned into a good guy and you’d throw flowers in the ring before each match… And dye your hair pink…

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @Grey: on second thought Jack Overflowing With Tolerance.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Yes, exactly!

  62. Joeg414 says:
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    Yes, the same thing with ESPN.

  63. Joeg414 says:
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    I sent an EMAIL and been on hold with their help line. But no one is picking up!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      FWIW, I’m in

  64. Joeg414 says:
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    me too just now

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Cool

  65. Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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    yesterday the referent for comic book guys was Kevin Smith’s main characters from the movies Clerks/Mallrats/Chasing Amy/Clerks 2 and with tie ins to Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back/Dogma. These characters were based on the real life versions of those guys from that comic book men show. This was Smith’s Jersey Series, and with your age, and being from Jersey, i would’ve thought you’d have been quite familar with these.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I know the movies, I don’t know the comic books

      • Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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        @Grey: i don’t watch that show either (i’ve had years and years of hanging out at friend’s houses that sound exactly like those guys, about most everything, except mine are younger and less fat). the Clerks comics are actually quite good. I’m pretty sure they just talk about normal superhero comics on that show though.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Oh… I stopped liking Kevin Smith about 15 years ago… He’s done a bunch of crap

          • Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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            @Grey: i completely agree, but those early movies were great. many awful movies that i’ve seen 5-15 minutes of before discovering that was his movie.

  66. Steve Stevenson says:
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    6×6 (OPS & QS), in a tight match, 2 moves left. Up 7-4 overall, including down 1W, up 1QS and 4K. My opponent has an advantage of 3 starts, as well as 2 moves he’ll use to stream, so chances are I’ll need to stream at some point, unless I pull off another hitting cat or two and/or his ratios blow up. The only two $10+ starters on SON available are Kuroda v Bal tomorrow (11.2) and Montero v Hou Saturday (16.0). Grab either of them now, or wait till the weekend?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’d grab Montero now, I wouldn’t mess with Kuroda, O’s scare me

  67. SwaggerJackers says:
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    @Grey: I got 2nd in my H2H league and seem headed for 1st in my roto league. Thanks for all the help yet again!

    Keeper question time.

    OBP instead of AVG, QS instead of W

    Keepers increase in price by $3 each year. Please pick 5:

    Rizzo ($23)
    Altuve ($21)
    Abreu ($14)
    Carlos Gomez ($14)
    Bautista ($13)
    C-Dick ($4)
    Arietta ($4) 10 more K’s today!
    Mesoracco ($4)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      No problem…. Abreu ($14)
      Carlos Gomez ($14)
      Bautista ($13)
      C-Dick ($4)
      Rizzo

      Good options, tough choices… Could go other ways…

  68. Halkster says:
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    Best bet for saves this week
    Mujica
    Uehara
    Quakenbush
    Burton?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Burton

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @Halkster: uehera hasn’t been closer for weeks, quack just lost his job tonight. so it would only come down to which team you think gets more save opps, BOS or MIN.

  69. royce! says:
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    Just returned from the Padres last home game, where I discovered that they set a record for most home wins this season. Which means that they were an astounding 28-49 on the road this season. Colorado was the only team that was worse on the road- only 21 wins. Which is weird, considering that they are on the complete opposite ends of the park factor spectrum. I have no additional data to support this, but it appears that having a home field that is extreme in one way or the other is bad for a team, or at least harder to manage. Here’s some more info – away, no team has scored less runs than the Rockies. Second to last is the Padres. And the Rockies have the worst away ERA. Could just be static but seems like neither team can overcome their respective park.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @royce!: both playing in the pitchers park division doesn’t help. Especially for Colorado.

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