Gallen Vs Miles Aka The Imperial March…In May

It was an Imperial March last night at Busch Stadium as the Mighty Men of Measurement took the mound. 

Ok. Maybe that’s laying it on too thick. But more than a few of us were keen to see if Zac Gallen (5.2 IP, 4 ER, 3 H, 3 BB, 4 Ks. ERA at 5.25), was going to get force choked yet again, this time by Miles Mikolas, (6 IP, 1 ER, 4 H, 1 BB, 4 Ks. ERA at 3.51), and the St. Louis Cardinals. Well, if you showed up expecting the Redbirds to give Gallen an inch, you left disappointed.

The D-Backs pitcher didn’t exactly get pounded into the ground, but he did get roughed up for his third straight start. Over that span, Gallen has allowed 14 ER in 16.1 innings with 21 H, 8 BB, and 14 Ks. I don’t think many desert snakes bark, but that’s a big WOOF from me, dawg.

As for Mikolas, there was some chatter in the Writers’ Discord last night about whether or not Mikolas is for real. He’s not on my Top 100 Starting Pitchers list, so that should tell you what I think. But for anyone wondering why, I give you this snipped-out gem from our very own bullpen writer, JKJ…

There’s more than a couple of pint-sized bars here. And as far as Star Wars references are concerned…you’d find fewer blue containers in a dairy farm on Tatooine.

(Apologies for the deeper dive there.)

More on Gallen in Monday’s Top 100 Starting Pitchers list. But for now…

…Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night…

Cade Povich – 5 IP, 1 ER, 4 H, 3 BB, 6 Ks. Someone needs to ask the Top 100 Starting Pitchers guy why this dude with the 4.86 ERA isn’t on the list!

(But before you do that, have a peek at this)

For the record, I had the Povich graphic ready before seeing the Mikolas one. Yeesh x2.

Ryan O’Hearn – 3-for-5, batting .317. Colton Cowser is starting a rehab assignment next week (eligible to return May 30th), and Ryan O’Hearn is hitting north of .300. Heston Kjerstad had better hope his bus ticket from AAA was a two-way one.

Brayan Bello – 4 IP, 2 ER, 6 H, 1 BB, 7 Ks. His ERA (4.08) and WHIP (1.70) are nothing to write home about yet, and he has pitched into the 7th just once in 8 starts. 

Rafael Devers – 4-for-6, 3 R, 8 RBI (!), 2 home runs (10, 11), and a 19-5 blowout in Game 1 of the doubleheader. It was so bad that they cancelled Game 2 (ok, maybe that was weather-related). At least Raffy’s grand slam was off a position player. It’s a good thing they didn’t tell Devers to put his bat away with his glove. Oddly enough, that wasn’t even the best part of last night’s homer-barrage…

“Hey, Alexa, show me what a happy DH looks like.”

Rob Refsnyder – 3-for-5, 4 RBI, and his 4th homer. Best Cleanup hitter in New England! (At least for this game).

Matt Boyd – 4 IP, 4 ER, 8 H, 2 BB, 3 Ks. Boyd was gone before the Reds’ bullpen turned this into an easy vulture win for Chris Flexen (2-0).

Pete Crow-Armstrong – 3-for-5, 6 RBI, and his 12th and 13th homers. Batting .287. To borrow a line from Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys…”My name is PCA, and I still do as I please…” Yes, Peter. Yes, you do.

Seiya Suzuki – 3-for-5, 3 R, 3 RBI, and his 13th HR. Batting .262. The fact that PCA is on fire and had to homer twice last night to keep up with Seiya should say, uh, something about how good Suzuki has been this year.

Hunter Greene – 4 IP, 2 ER, 3 H, 2 BB, 2 Ks. Both starters had a tough time keeping the pitch count down last night. It took Greene 83 pitches to get through 4 innings. Boyd’s total was 10 higher in the same number of frames.

Spencer Steer – 3-for-5, his 9th 2B as he hit 5th behind Austin Hays (2-for-5, 3B). Steer is on cruise control right now with an 11-game hit streak.

Paul Skenes – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 H, 2 BB, 8 Ks and the no decision. That’s the third consecutive game Skenes has given up one earned run, and he’s 0-1 with two no decisions over that span. I mentioned this in my Top 100 Starting Pitchers article last week, but it’s nice to hear the TV broadcast say the same: “Wouldn’t it be nice to see the Pirates give Skenes a couple runs?” The good news is PIT scored 3 for Skenes, but he left a 3-3 game after 6 innings. The better news is the Pirates won it in extras.

Oneil Cruz – 2-for-5, and his 8th and 9th homers. Cruz missiles!

William Contreras – 1-for-5 and his 5th homer. Special thanks to David Bednar for coming back from AAA to make this all possible.

Landen Roupp – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 H, 2 BB, 2 Ks. I joked last Monday that “Landen go Roupp. Landen go down.” But this game looked like Landen stay Roupp for at least a little while longer.

Jung-Hoo Lee – 2-for-3, 2 R, BB, .282 AVG. He’s been like an anti-Adell in some of my leagues. (Aka I can use the average balance).

Mackenzie Gore – 6 IP, 1 ER, 2 H, 3 BB, 9 Ks. His 5th loss of the year (2-5). Come on. This guy is leading MLB in strikeouts (93), and he’s three games below .500? With this kind of run support, he’s starting to look like a Pirates ace. I guess we can call him MacSkenesie Gore. No? Ya, you’re probably right.

Luis Garcia – 2-for-3 and 1 BB. So it’s a combined 0-16 from CJ Abrams, James Wood, Nathaniel Lowe, and Robert Hassell? Sure. Because that makes sense.

Drew Rasmussen – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 H, 2 BB, 3 Ks. This was almost a carbon copy of his start in Miami last week (6 IP, 0 ER, 4 H, 0 BB, 5 Ks). I mentioned a couple of Mondays ago that he must’ve heard me complaining that he wasn’t going deep enough to qualify for a quality start. After zero in his first 8 GS, he has back-to-back QS.

Brandon Lowe – 1-for-4, and his 9th homer. Batting .224. He might not hit much higher than his weight, but another 30 HR, 90 RBI season like 2021 isn’t unthinkable (if he stays healthy).

Slade Cecconi – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 H, 2 BB, 6 Ks. More like Slay-ed. Hashtag nailed it.

Steven Kwan – 3-for-5, R, RBI, 2B, batting a thousand. Well, at least it feels like he is. His .322 BA is good for 6th overall.

Emmanuel Clase – 1 IP, 0 ER, 0 H, 0 BB, 1 K, and his 10th save. ERA at 4.29. It’s baby steps for Clase while he tries to trim down those ratios, but last night’s scoreless inning was his 8th appearance in a row without allowing an earned run.

Spencer Torkelson – 1-for-4, and his 13th homer. Let’s not pay attention to those three strikeouts.

Nick Pivetta – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 H, 3 BB, 7 Ks. He was great, other than the HR allowed to…

Ronald Acuna Jr. – 2-for-4, and his 1st homer! La Bestia is back!

Chris Sale – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 H, 1 BB, 6 Ks. That’s back-to-back 7-inning starts of just one earned run (in each). He’s had 5 QS in his last six starts, too. Sale is up to 78 Ks in 61.1 IP, so now he’s looking to polish up those ratios.

Josh Jung – 1-for-1, 3 BB. OBP leaguers, rejoice!

Sean Burke – 6 IP, 1 ER, 3 H, 3 BB, 6 Ks. This kid is going to have to post a lot of these kinds of games to (A) overcome the usual lack of run support from his team, (B) not make me think of the former NHL goalie every time I see his name, and (C) There is no C.

Luis Robert – 1-for-4, R, RBI, and his 18th SB. Sure, he’s only hitting .180, but the steals play if you can offset that AVG elsewhere.

Noah Cameron – 6.2 IP, 1 ER, 4 H, 1 BB, 8 Ks. KC lost this one, but it sure wasn’t because of Cameron’s production. That’s three starts on the year, all of which the big lefty has allowed one or fewer earned runs.

Pablo Lopez – 5.1 IP, 1 ER, 7 H, 0 BB, 5 Ks. Lopez went head-to-head with Cameron and kept his cool. 55 Ks in 51 IP with sparkling ratios? Pabl-Oh my goodness.

Ty France – 1-for-4, R, 2 RBI, and his 4th homer of the year to walk off KC at home. This is the only solace I can get for activating him as my corner infielder last week instead of Nick Kurtz (more on that later).

Emerson Hancock – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 H, 0 BB, 3 Ks. The only problem with this cool cat is that there might not be any space left in the Quintet once Bryce Miller or Logan Gilbert returns from the IL. But until then…*Jazz hands*

Leody Taveras – 3-for-4, R, RBI, and his 3rd homer. He’s got his average up to .230. Just enough to rope someone back in again.

Cal Raleigh – 2-for-4, R, 2 RBI, and his 17th home run. Gentlemen and five ladies, I give you the 8th-ranked player OVERALL on the 2025 Player Rater! (7th if we remove pitchers).

Ryan Gusto – 4.1 IP, 2 ER, 4 H, 3 BB, 6 Ks. You never want to wish ill will on someone, but every second (or third) opinion that Ronel Blanco gets on his arm injury means the door to the rotation inches open just a bit more so that Gusto can stay (for now).

Isaac Paredes – 2-for-5, 2 R, 2 RBI, and his 11th homer. No victory Paredes in this one for the Astros.

Ketel Marte – 1-for-4, and his 8th homer. Ketel is riding a nice little 6-game hit streak with homers in back-to-back games. Now, if we could just get a few guys on base in front of him, maybe he could boost his RBI total past a dozen.

Nolan Arenado – 1-for-3, 3 RBI. “Nope, we don’t need you to do much today. Just drop your basket of feathers by this industrial-strength exhaust fan. I’m sure all will be fine.” That’s the NO, TORENADO from Nolan’s TRIPLE!

Tanner Gordon – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 H, 2 BB, 5 Ks. I saw T. Gordon and hoped this was a reincarnation of the Flash. Alas, it was just a replacement for Chase Dollander (sent to the IL for right forearm tightness). Wait. You’re telling me the Yankee juggernaut rolled into Colorado and was stymied by an unknown rookie that held them to two runs and served up just ONE home run to these behemoths? Baseball is weird.

Ezequiel Tovar – 2-for-4 with his 6th 2B out of the two-hole. Not much to point out here other than he pushed his average up to .298 last night.

Clarke Schmidt – 4.2 IP, 3 ER, 6 H, 2 BB, 8 Ks. He needed 97 pitches to almost complete 5 innings. Meh. At least the strikeout total was nice. Sometimes Schmidt happens.

Aaron Judge – 2-for-4, 2 R, RBI, and his 17th homer. Is it a surprise that this is the guy who commissioned Gordon for the HR?

Sandy Alcantara – 5.1 IP, 5 ER, 5 H, 2 BB, 6 Ks. ERA at 8.04. How appropriate. Mr. Sandy Bottom continues to be cheeks.

Eric Wagaman – 3-for-5, 3 RBI, and his 4th homer. Hitting .253. No! It’s spelled WAGA. The M is upside down, man!

Kyle Stowers – 3-for-4, RBI, SB. Batting .319. So, Orioles, how about that Trevor Richards trade…

Yusei Kikuchi – 5.2 IP, 0 ER, 7 H, 4 BB, 4 Ks. Don’t look now, but that’s the 5th consecutive start that the West Coast Kuch has allowed two or fewer earned runs. I said DON’T look now!

Taylor Ward – 1-for-2, 2 R, 2 RBI, 15th homer. And his 500th homer over the past 10 days. Ok, maybe my math is off there. What? I assume it’s not just me who feels like Ward is channeling Barry Bonds. Well, the .228 average and .276 OBP aren’t quite “Barry-esque”, but as long as Taylor keeps turning on inside fastballs, Angels fans don’t care.

Zack Wheeler – 6.2 IP, 0 ER, 3 H, 2 BB, 8 Ks. ERA at 2.42. Won his 6th of the year. If it’s a question of wheels vs springs, give me the spinners every time. These knees are too old to bounce anymore.

Trea Turner – 3-for-5, 2 RBI, SB (13), and his 4th homer. Batting .313. Whoa! Speaking of wheels, we get ourselves a dinger AND legs? That’s a lot of treats earned from this multi-position eligible gem. Best Phillies leadoff guy since Shane Victorino! (Prays that Kyle Schwarber doesn’t see this)

Jordan Romano – 0.2 IP, 3 ER, 3 H, BB, 2 Ks. NOT the save. ERA at 8.05. Which, coincidentally, may also be how far the homer that he allowed travelled. In feet. Not metres. (I’m not a monster…but you know who is?)

Nick Kurtz – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs, and his 5th homer. Batting .231. Sure, it would look a lot better with another 40+ points on his average, but that’s 4 HR in his last 4 GP. Kurtz right in the heart of darkness at Bing Bing stadium.

Teoscar Hernandez – 2-for-5, 2 R, 3 RBI, 2B (11). Batting .310. I know it’s more than a couple of years removed, but every time I see Teoscar’s name, I think back to how Blue Jays’ GM Ross Atkins said the driving force behind the trade to SEA was that they could “replace Teoscar’s production from within the organization”. Checks notes…oh yes. Nathan Lukes and Jonatan Clase played the corner OF spots last night for Toronto. Good thing they got Clase in that trade with…who was it again? Oh, it was Seattle. Smh.

Will Smith – 1-for-4, 2 R, RBI. Batting .336. Big Willy Style gettin jiggy wit it while Dalton Rushing is slapping dominoes in the clubhouse waiting for an at-bat.

Griffin Canning – 2.2 IP, 3 ER, 1 H, 4 BB, 1 K. ERA at 2.88. Neither starter got through 3 innings last night, but Kershaw’s early exit was more to do with easing him back into games. I’m not sure the Mets planned on a bullpen game for this one, too. It took Canning 54 pitches to get 8 outs and allow 4 walks, so the early bullpen call likely wasn’t part of the plan.

Brett Baty – 2-for-4, solo homer (6). Is it time to go batty for Baty again? Uh…probably not until he improves on that .265 OBP.

That’s all for this week! I hope you enjoyed it! If you have any comments or questions about last night’s performances, drop them in the chat. 

 

And be sure to come see me on Monday when the newest Top 100 Starting Pitchers list drops, all polished up with revisions and rankings changes!

Follow me @marmosdad on Twitter/X and Bluesky @marmosdad.bsky.social