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Author: Grey

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Alex Bregman, 2020 Fantasy Schmohawk

February 20, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated | 248 Comments

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This isn’t about the Cheaty Cheaty Bang Bang scandal. I’m not here to talk about the Fiers Festival. We’re not going to rehash the Banghazi hashtag. You have a Big Bang Theory? Great, so do I. Wanna hear it after saying I’m not going to talk about it? Fine! Twist my arm! The Asterisks cheated; it’s well-documented. You can’t watch a home game of the Asterisks without it sounding like the PA speaker is accidentally on while someone nearby hammers together a piece of Ikea furniture without the proper instructions. “Where does this screw go? Hmm…eff it, I’m just gonna bang it together.” That’s what it sounded like. I made less racket drunk at 2 AM in college. There’s quieter trash cans in the dead of winter filled with a family of raccoons. There’s a ton of evidence. Irrefutable evidence, and they were convicted of cheating by Our Commissioner Manfred, who almost requested the return of a piece of metal. Their GM and manager fell on the swords. Were they the main ones to blame? Haha, my dude, the players are the ones that cheated. I’ve seen video evidence of Alex Bregman at the plate while Bang A Gong (Get It On) played in the background. So, he was right there in the middle of Bang-gate. Should he have apologized? I think so, but they were busted already, so it’s not like he’s saying something people don’t know. It’s the way of celebrities (athletes and otherwise) to not apologize unless it’s through a spokesperson. Never the hoo! None of this matters for fantasy or it all matters. We won’t know until the 2020 season concludes. We’d be guessing on that. The easy narrative for Bang-gate is:  Bregman was good on the road, so he’s fine. That’s dismissive of what it is actually going on here. I was saying you should avoid Alex Bregman before any ruling came down about cheating.  So, what makes Alex Bregman overrated for 2020 fantasy baseball?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Yahoo’s 2020 Fantasy Baseball Rankings Ranklings

February 19, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated | 232 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”512770″ player=”10951″ title=”Razzball 2020 Draft Kit Sleepers 012320″ duration=”161″ description=”” uploaddate=”2020-01-24 02:35:08″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/512770_t_1579833321.png” contentUrl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/512770.mp4″”]

Will get out of the way upfront the compliments. Yahoo isn’t nearly as bad as ESPN this year. (Likely any year.) Here’s my critique of the ESPN 2020 fantasy baseball rankings. ESPN appears to be phoning it in and they haven’t paid their phone bill in six months and they’re in talks with a bankruptcy attorney to get an extension on their bill because, “What defunct are they talking about?” While I don’t agree with all of Yahoo’s 2020 fantasy baseball rankings, I can at least understand what they’re talking about most of the time. For unstints, they have Fernando Tatis Jr. ranked 11th overall vs. my 10th, and ESPN has him at 43rd overall. That especially feels like a joke, much like, “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “An Astros player stealing signs.” So, before this becomes a 360-degree jerk with my new best friends at Yahoo, who I’m guessing not-so-secretly despise me, here’s a totally impartial look at Yahoo’s 2020 fantasy baseball rankings vs. my own 2020 fantasy baseball rankings:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

AL-Only, 12 Team Draft Recap or: How I Drafted The Ugliest Pitching Staff Man’s Ever Seen — Plus, Our NFBC Signups!

February 18, 2020 | Our Leagues | 217 Comments

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Last week I drafted against Scott White of CBS and like ten other Razzball guys. Pretty soon this league’s draft will be Scott White smashing a bottle of champagne on the front of the Razzball ship, then twelve Razzball guys will battle for the ‘ship with Donkey Teeth screaming, “You’ve sunk my battleship,” and me saying, “I’m standing next to you, stop screaming.” So, it was B_Don, The Prospect Itch, Donkey Teeth, me, Scott White and some other ‘perts. Maybe those other Razzball guys will give you a recap of their drafts (if you ask nicely), but we’re here for my ishkabibble and I came away with a team more imbalanced than your aunt after two cocktails. This league is deep so hold onto ye olde hat. (If you want a shallower league, play against me and hundreds of your closest buddies in the Razzball Commenter Leagues. Or closet buddies, if you’re reading fast and/or experimenting.) Anyway, here’s my 12-team AL-Only team and some thoughts:

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Grey

Best 2020 Fantasy Baseball Team

February 17, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Draft Strategy | 162 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”512770″ player=”10951″ title=”Razzball 2020 Draft Kit Sleepers 012320″ duration=”161″ description=”” uploaddate=”2020-01-24 02:35:08″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/512770_t_1579833321.png” contentUrl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/512770.mp4″”]

The best 2020 fantasy baseball team is a misnomer. Thankfully, none of us know what misnomer means. Sounds to me like someone tentatively wants to date the Travelocity Gnome’s daughter, “Miss Gnome, er, you wanna grab some boba and chill?” Miss Gnome brushes back her hair and bats her eyelashes that are almost as long as her two-and-half foot body, “I’d love to,” but her voice is high-pitched, which is a turn-off, so you cancel plans with her repeatedly until she gets the hint. Sorry, Miss Gnome, I like my women’s voices low like their stature. Any hoo!  So the title is a bit of a superlative. What was I gonna say, “The Mostly Kinda Good Fantasy Baseball Team?” You’ll get over your scoffing; I have faith in you. This is the best 2020 fantasy baseball team that I can put together when drafting from my top 100 for 2020 fantasy baseball and top 500 for 2020 fantasy baseball. Honestly, I could draft another 25 teams from those lists, and they’d all be different, but equally terrific… Well, one of the twenty-five would only be sorta terrific, but it would be really hard to tell which one that is. If I took Adalberto Mondesi in the 2nd round, everything after would change. If I took Trea Turner in the 1st round, everything after would change. I’ve previously gone over my 2020 fantasy baseball draft prep for the first few rounds and pitchers pairings.  For this exercise, I’m taking Fernando Tatis in the first, because, well, people complained previously I always did this post by taking the first pick, so I’m switching it up, like when you combover your hair right instead of left. Until pick 100, I’m taking one guy somewhere in every fifteen picks. It would be nice if I was in a league where someone drafted Gerrit Cole and deGrom in the first two rounds and I was able to take Trevor Story in the 2nd round (which is likely), but since Tatis and him are in my first 14 picks, according to the rules I’ve set up for myself, I can’t take them both. Then, as we all know, once you get into the 100s, there’s wide gaps between ADP and where players are actually taken. People tend to look at team need over value. So for this exercise, once I get to pick #101, I’m going to pick two players every twenty picks. Finally, because there is so much latitude in the last 300, I gave myself free rein to fill up my team after pick 200. Throughout the draft, I also gave myself the ability to reach to a lower draft pick, but not reach forward. Or reach around, if you’re feeling frisky. It should still be my ideal team…or not. Let’s see, shall we? Bee tee dubya, this team is a 12-team, 5×5, one catcher, 5 OFs, MI, CI, 1 UT, 9 P, 3 bench, just like the Razzball Commenter Leagues (go sign up).  Anyway, here’s the best 2020 fantasy baseball team:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Dodgers Wanted Mookie No Matter The Price

February 14, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 271 Comments

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Los Angeles is such an eco-friendly city that when a recent EPA report cited jet fuel as accounting for 17% of air pollution, the Dodgers went out and traded for Mookie Betts. See, this year’s All-Star Game is in Dodger Stadium, and now eleven of their players don’t have to fly anywhere for the All-Star Game festivities. Always giving, my great City of Angels, that’s not actually the city of the Angels, that’s Anaheim, but they call themselves Los Angeles and it’s nowhere near Los Angeles. Not confusing at all! Let’s just drool for a second at the Dodgers’ lineup:  Betts, Muncy, Turner, Bellinger, Pederson/Pollock, Seager, Will Smith and Gavin Lux. If they trade Austin Barnes to the Astros for a trash can, then their 2020 title hopes will be sealed! Before you laugh, the Astros could use a catcher. So, Betts’s best will be in the starry skies of Los Angeles, and Rihanna might just start liking baseball again. “You’re cute with that silliness.” “Nah, seriously, I want to go bowling.”  That’s Mookie and Rihanna on their first date. Betts is in the prime of his career, and I can’t see any chance a move to Los Angeles slows him down, however–Don’t do it, Grey! Don’t be negative here! Well, Fenway to Dodger Stadium isn’t the best move. Some of those doubles off the wall might go for deep outs to the left fielder. The Dodgers didn’t steal a lot in 2019 either, but that could be from a lack of threats. Justin Turner is running? Muncy? Bellinger did run, because he can. Betts should still be a lock for 15-20 steals, but I’m knocking his power down a tad with the park change. While his projections will change a bit, his ranking is staying the same in my top 10 for 2020 fantasy baseball. For what it’s Werth, Rudy’s auction rankings changed dramatically for Betts, knocking him way down, but Betts’s projections are even better than mine, as seen at the hitter projections. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2020 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

2020 Fantasy Baseball Draft Prep, Pairings

February 13, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Draft Strategy | 251 Comments

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Here’s a post that’s gonna make you wanna slap ya mama and tell her Don Magic Juan sends his best. The other day I told you how to draft your pitchers for 2020 fantasy baseball.  I laid it out to you nice and simple (if you have a degree in “What The Hell Is Grey Talking About?” Not a PhD, mind you.  Just a BS.)  Today, we forget all that jabberwocky on the who-ha and get down to business old school-style (which means if you don’t comprehend, I will hit you over the head with a baseball bat signed by Joe Clark.)  What I’m hoping to lay out to you is who do you draft 2nd if you’ve drafted so and so first. I think it might be helpful to go through pairings for your 5 outfielders, all your middle and corner infielders too. I’m not sure I’ll have the time or patience to do them. We’ll see! Or not. Your choice. (Actually, my choice.) For easy reference, the royal we will be using the top 10 for 2020 fantasy baseball and the top 20 for 2020 fantasy baseball and the beginning of the top 100 for 2020 fantasy baseball. I’m going to assume you’re in a 12 team, 5×5, MI, CI, 5 OF, 1 Utility, 1 Catcher league, similar to our Razzball Commenter Leagues. (Sign up for multiple leagues, and beat the heck out of your frenemies or make new frenemies!)  Anyway, here’s some pairings for the first two rounds of 2020 fantasy baseball drafts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

ESPN’s 2020 Fantasy Rankings Are Major Dumb

February 12, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated | 207 Comments

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Our 2020 Razzball leagues are in signup mode. Robot in Signup Mode, “I am entering contest to win Razzball t-shirt even though I’ve never seen a robot wear a shirt. Starting….” The Robot begins to peter out, “…New…Fad.” Oh no, the Razzball Robot has died! *screaming to heavens* What hath you forsaken me?! Heavens, “Focus on the ESPN rankings, you moron.” Wow, the heavens do not take well to histrionics. So, this year’s ESPN rankings are a tad goofier than I remember them, but maybe I just got smarter — Smarterened? Smartered? Became the smarts? Meh, I don’t know. What I do know is ESPN has Tim Anderson ranked 143rd overall and that made me cackle like a hyena for so long a group of white-jacketed asylum workers showed up at my house and tried to cart me away. Me singing to the tune of Pharcyde, “Can’t keep gettin’ carted awaaaaaaaaaay…Can’t keep gettin’ carted awaaaaaaaaaay…Can’t keep gettin’ carted awaaaaaaaaaay…” Any hoo! I’m clutchin’ my pearls like a Barbara Bush hologram and about to take out some ‘perts! *slowly, menacingly sharpens index finger for more incisive typing* I’m about to cut up somebody with words! Now let’s open a window and defenestrate ESPN’s 2020 fantasy baseball rankings. To the tune of Major Tom, I call this Major Dumb:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Fantasy Baseball War Room, 2020 Edition

February 11, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Draft Strategy | 167 Comments

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The Fantasy Baseball War Room is back!  I’m not saying the Fantasy Baseball War Room is back, as in, is a butt.  So, if Sir Mix-A-Lot is reading, I’m truly sorry for the confusion.  Our Fantasy Baseball War Room is one part draft tool, one part fantasy team evaluator, one part fantasy junkie’s s’s and g’s tool, one part holy, two parts smokes, three parts… How many parts is that so far?  Cause it’s only really seven parts total.  I think there’s one part kill-your-day-with-this-war-room-thing-a-maboob-as-a-pinwheel-spins in there too.  Essentially, this helps you practice building a fantasy baseball team. Rudy also has a War Room that comes with Razzball subscriptions. His War Room is better and offsite, i.e., he’ll give you a link to download everything. I repeat, his War Room is better, but is not free. Ask anyone in the comments if Rudy’s War Room is better, they will say 100% it is better. This one is free, and janky at times. You’ve been warned, so you cannot complain.

If you’re unfamiliar with our Fantasy Baseball War Room, it’s a draft tool to help you track where you are at any moment in a draft. It shows you if you have too many steals, homers… Or if your ERA or WHIP are too low. Or too high. Or if your lamb is still rare or should be turned (results vary on lamb). If you’ve already drafted a team, go into the War Room, enter your team and it shows you exactly how stacked/dreadful the team is. If you want to practice mocking for your Razzball Commenter League, do that too.  (Fantrax waived $80 fees for us, so go join some Razzball Commenter Leagues!)  If you’re in the middle of a draft, you can filter which guys are left that have the most home runs according to my projections. Or the most steals, or the most runs or the most whatever (only applicable if “Whatever” is a category in your league). If you’re in a bind, go into a Warm Room and take a shvitz.  Ah…That’s better! There might be some bugs in our Fantasy Baseball War Room, just comment here and we’ll look into fixes. The default projections are mine from the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings. Also, Rudy’s projections are now up! They can be found at my ranking page that I just linked to or here:  hitter projections and pitcher projections. There, you’ll see rankings for every conceivable league (OBP, OPS, Holds, etc).  Anyway, here’s the step by step instructions on how to use the Fantasy Baseball War Room:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

2020 Razzball Commenter Leagues

February 10, 2020 | Our Leagues, Razzball Commenter Leagues | 225 Comments

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If you’re like me most days, you’re sitting in your car beneath an underpass and writing ALF fan fiction, but today we have a different type of fantasy for you to engage in. No, not your fantasy where it’s you and that girl from high school in a tub of Alphabet Soup and you write her a love letter on her back in noodles! This is a fantasy baseball fantasy!  Because you know what would be really cool? If you could join a fantasy baseball league that was against, like, 1000 other fantasy baseball teams.  But not a 1000-person league, where people are trying to figure out who the back-up third baseman is on the Single-A Astros affiliate, the Corpus Christi Amscrayers.  No, this is a 12-person league designed so you compete against eleven other people in your league, then 75 other leagues of twelve. That would be cool. Oh, wait, we’ve done that. It’s called the Razzball Commenter Leagues, and they’re back, and you don’t even have to be a commenter to join it!  For a limited time only, get your loved one a fantasy baseball league! That’s right, your hearts go pitter-patter or you’re dead on the inside (my condolences). Since back in June when you abandoned your fantasy baseball team because it was totally sucking and you returned to your cubbyhole of leftover Chinese food and Teddy Grahams, you’ve longed for this day. As Bob Marley sang, this is your redemption song, mon. Or womon, for our five girl readers. It’s time again to join some fantasy baseball leagues!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

2020 Fantasy Baseball Draft Prep, Pitchers’ Pairings

February 7, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Draft Strategy | 204 Comments

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From this post, life emerges. *toadstool morphs into frog, frog morphs into person, person types up this post* See! Darwinism at its most basic, and ‘basic’ like your girl who just wants a pumpkin spice latte and to play Candy Crush. It’s how basic is defined, yo. For these pitcher pairings, I’m going to be using our (my) 2020 fantasy baseball rankings. Notably, the top 20 starters for 2020 fantasy baseball, top 40 starters for 2020, top 60 starters for 2020, the top 80 starters for 2020 and top 100 starters. You can also just get Rudy’s downloadable War Room by signing up for the Razzball Subscriptions. Okay, formalities out of the way.  *rolls up sleeves, makes farting noise with hand under armpit, rolls down sleeve* Let’s get busy! Now, what is a pitcher pairing? It’s your plan for putting together a fantasy staff. A course of action, of course — of acoursion, naturally. If you have A pitcher, which B, C, D, E and F pitcher goes with him?  Which is different than ‘F this pitcher,’ that’s what you say by end of April about at least one of your starters. You should have six starters. The sixth starter is Pablo Lopez or take whoever you want. I suggest an upside pick. Mitch Keller comes to mind. Or Dustin May. Kevin Gausman also comes to mind. Chris Bassitt anyone? I’m going to assume you’re in a 12 team, 5×5 and some variation of 9 pitcher leagues like the Razzball Commenter Leagues, which begin signups on Monday. Put on your pants and look presentable! (NOTE: What you are about to read is massively confusing.  If it were found scribbled in a notebook, the FBI would be watching me. If Ed Kemper stood up and read this at the next prison Meet N’ Greet, no one would blink an eye.)  Anyway, here’s pitcher pairings for pitching staffs for 2020 fantasy baseball drafts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 500 for 2020 Fantasy Baseball

February 6, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 225 Comments

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Four score and seventeen-hundred rankings posts ago, my Fordfathers said, “Stop calling us Fordfathers, you idiot, it’s forefathers.” In order to form a more perfect fantasy baseball ranking system, we stopped ranking for fantasy baseball and simply said, “Eff it, let’s just let Grey rank 500 or so Mr. So-and-So’s.” Or, more succinctly, the top 500 for 2020 fantasy baseball. A few years ago, the top 500 was only a top 300 for fantasy baseball. Before that, it was 16 AD and I was drafting in one-person leagues because no one knew fantasy baseball or baseball. In a few years from now, this is going to be a top 10,000 and I’m going to be ranking Ronald Acuña Jr. Jr. Jr. Today, in this year, twenty after twenty, comes the top 500 for 2020 fantasy baseball. Or as I like to call it, “Did he really rank Mr. So-and-So before Mr. So-and-So Jr.?” If Mr. So-and-So Jr. would stop chasing pitches in the dirt, I might’ve ranked him in front of Mr. So-and-So. This post isn’t meant to send shockwaves through your system. The pipe cleaner that the doctor uses to get the clogged wax from your ears is meant for that. This is simply to give you an idea of where guys are ranked in relation to other positions, i.e., you know I like Ketel Marte better than Keston Hiura, according to the top 20 2nd basemen, but do I like Ketel Marte better than Starling Marte or anyone else in the Marte family? Okay, it’s not that simple. You should read the blurbs for all players, but this top 500 should give you an idea. You’ll notice after the top 200, positions start to get clumped together. I might be the only fantasy baseball ‘pert to tell you this, but it doesn’t matter where, say, Jurickson Profar is ranked vs. Sean Doolittle. If you need saves, Profar isn’t going to help you. He can be ranked 50 spots in front of Doolittle and it doesn’t matter. That’s why I have the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings broken down by positions. If you need a 1st baseman, where Evan White vs. Garrett Cooper matters, but where Evan White is ranked vs. Kevin Kiermaier really doesn’t matter. Also, there’s no comments about players, which you really should know prior to drafting. In other words, Alex Bregman might be in the 20’s overall, but am I drafting him? Well, you’d know if you read my top 20 for 2020 fantasy baseball.  There’s also a top 100 for 2020 fantasy baseball to help you. Also, there’s Rudy’s War Room, which is downloadable, and it comes with Razzball Subscriptions. Anyway, here’s the top 500 for 2020 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 100 for 2020 Fantasy Baseball

February 5, 2020 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 222 Comments

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One word about this top 100 for 2020 fantasy baseball, before I give you another 5,000 words. I’m going to avoid repeating myself from the position rankings in the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings. If you want to know my in-depth feelings about a player, then you need to go to his positional page, i.e., the top 20 1st basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball, the top 20 outfielders for 2020 fantasy baseball, the top 20 Patterns In Queso That Look Like Messages From Another Planet for 2020– Okay, but I almost got you. This post is meant to give you an idea where guys from different positions are in relation to each other. Since this post is only the top 100, there’s more players where this came from. 467 more, to be very exact. Next up, there will be a top 500 that will go to 567. Then, after that, there will be a top 7,500 that will go to 8,602, then a top 25,000 that will go to 28,765, then a top 600,000 that will go to 892,121, until we end up with a top kajillion in April that will go to a kajillion and one. Or maybe I’ll stop at the top 500. Yeah, that makes sense. Not to get all biblical on you, but this is the gospel. Print it out and take it to Mt. Sinai and it will say, “Win your 2020 fantasy baseball league, young prematurely balding man.” Projections were done by me and a crack team of 100 monkeys fighting amongst themselves because there were only 99 typewriters. Somebody please buy Ling-Ling his own typewriter! Razzball Subscriptions are also now open. Early subscribers get Rudy’s War Room, and you can go ad-free for a $9.99. Anyway, here’s the top 100 for 2020 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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