It’s Day 186 of the quarantine and I’ve washed my hands so many times under hot water they’re braised to perfection so I will eat them. A few hours later: I don’t have any toilet paper so watch me as I poop out my hands I will also use to wipe. What’s that, you’re only on Day 18? Oh, I started social distancing last November. At the time, I called it “being anti-social.” So, I’ve already given you updated 100-games-played projections in my 2020 fantasy baseball rankings, but this, here, this thing you’re reading here, this is some thoughts on specific 2nd basemen whose value could change based on a shortened season. I’ve already done Corona timeline updates for the 1st basemen and catchers. We had some laughs and then one of you turned that into a whooping cough and we asked you to quarantine in your closet. We’ll give him 72 hours, then check on him. The top 20 2nd basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball were updated with new projections for a 100-game season. Anyway, here’s thoughts on the top 20 2nd basemen for 2020 fantasy baseball with the new Corona timeline:
2. Jose Altuve – It feels like three offseasons ago that the Astros got busted for putting Press Your Luck buzzers on their nipples like they were in a Stanford University experiment. Any hoo! Dudes and five dudettes, if I wasn’t so chicken, I’d move Altuve down about fifty spots in my top 500 and, if I build up the courage, I might still. If they play 100 games, as I’m assuming, Altuve is going to be useless. Like LeMahieu useless; like Kendrick useless — two guys I went over in the 1st basemen on the Corona post. To recap that shizz super quick but with a focus on Altuve, his Steamer projections are a .296 average, which is giving $7.7 worth of value on our auction values. If he just gets a little unlucky, and hits .262 he will get 0.7 in value. $7 less dollars in value brings him to around 70th best overall, and that’s assuming his runs and RBIs stay same hitting .262. You might be thinking to yourself, “Grey, you are handsome eh-eff, but where’s this .262 coming from?” That’s what Altuve hit last year in the 1st half, which is about 100 games. I haven’t moved Altuve down, because he’s in a tier in the top 20 2nd basemen that I say I’m not drafting, but that’s gonna be a 2nd no from me, dawg.
11. Whit Merrifield – I’m not too chicken to lower Whit Merrifield’s ranking. Sorry, Whit truthers — Whitruthers? — but I dinged him. These guys getting by on good vibes and bad farts need to stop. He’s now got an ADP of 55 overall and I’ve moved him to 97 in my top 100 overall (from only 91, but it’s something). His projections from me are 57/9/44/.305/9 in 377 ABs, but since y’all think I’m an absolute fruitcake, his Steamer Projections are 9/14/.282. Sure, there’s runs and RBIs in there too, but no one knows with those, and average is fickle, and I’m social distancing from Merrifield even further. Six feet isn’t enough. Speaking of which…HELLO SHARKS! My product is a six-foot hula hoop. Wear it around your body so you can never get too close!
22. Gavin Lux – Sigh, this one sucks. Not that I loved him coming into this year, but I did draft him already, so it’s with some regret that I say I moved him from 18 to 22 in the top 20 2nd basemen. He’s just not great on the corona timeline. His Steamer projections are 11/6/.266 and I have to admit I yawned partially through the first and 2nd slash. Hey, Lux, your name says posh, but your stats say snooze. Lux, what am I going to do with you? I left him in a favorable tier, but only ahead of Wong and Newman, whose partial season statlines are a heavy dose of snooze too.
29. Tommy La Stella – Since I feel the need to end this on a happy note, and I can’t find a happy note to end on, I will end on La Stella instead. So, Launch Angle Stella, formal name, looks good on a corona timeline. Still pretty borderline in a mixed league — borderline is also where I push my love — and I haven’t moved him up in the rankings, because, well, I just said, borderline in mixed leagues, but his new projected statline by me: 38/10/41/.291/1 in 289 ABs doesn’t look remarkably different than about fifteen 2nd basemen above him. (For completists out there, Steamer has him for 37/8/32/.275/1). My largest takeaway so far through these Corona rankings redux re-imaginings (say that fast 117 times!) is that your hitters after 150th overall get very clumped together with hitters you find around 250-300 overall. Think of it like this: If it were August of a normal season and you were in a 12-team mixed league, would you be worried about dropping a guy you drafted around 150th overall? No, you wouldn’t and shouldn’t. So, where you were extending a rope on some hitters in April and May, that rope has tightened already if the season opens in July. Now speaking of ropes, I have to go lasso delivered food off my porch and drag it into my house to avoid touching anything.