No one is playing baseball, which means there’s a lot of wives around the country telling their husbands to stop scratching themselves, and that’s just the wives of fantasy baseballers. Imagine those poor ballplayers’ wives. “Why do you keep spitting into my potted plants?” and “Stop with the complicated signs when you’re calling in our basset hound. He doesn’t understand.” We should be complaining about Bud Black not playing Sam Hilliard or Raimel Tapia while opting for Ian Desmond, but instead Bud Black is home deciding to go with mustard on his hamburger for the last 17 days and refusing to give ketchup a chance. Ketchup is good, Bud, give it a shot! New things don’t have to scare you! Vladimir Guerrero Jr. should be on the field, reminding everyone of his father, but instead he’s home reminding his father to wash his hands. After 1st hearing about the restrictions, Vlad Sr. replies, “Forget shaking hands, I wouldn’t even elbow bump with Moises Alou.” Since everyone has been home for the last two-plus weeks, we’ve culled all the important player news from around the league for your fantasy teams and bring it to you now:

Evan Longoria – In a bid to inspire people across the country, Longoria got some of his celebrity friends together to sing John Lennon’s Imagine. Ben Zobrist sang the part, “Juliana is Yoko!”

Shohei Ohtani – The pitcher, Shohei Ohtani, is struggling to social distance from the hitter, Shohei Ohtani. Michael Lorenzen is saying the same, but no one is taking him serious.

Miguel Sano – After showing up at camp in the best shape of his life, Sano put on 27 pounds in camp, and was no longer in the best shape of his life when he left, but, after 17 days of a quarantine, he’s now in best shape of life again.

Trevor Bauer – Spent afternoon playing an exhibition for all the kids he insulted on Twitter.

Shed LongMariners are treating Shed as a super-utility player. His main utility in April will be storing dry goods.

Bryce HarperPhillies are preparing for the consequences of hairdressers being closed until the delayed start of the regular season by designing a Rastafarian-inspired Phillies cap for Bryce Harper. When asked if he likes the idea, Harper replied, “That’s a clown question, mon.”

Seranthony Dominguez – Doctors recommend Tommy John surgery. His UCL is fine. That was Seranthony playing Chris Sale. Acting!

Jose Altuve – Feeling good. He could fall in any direction with absolutely no fear of hitting into anyone and no longer has to worry about his shirt being ripped off.

Alex Bregman – Woke up screaming in the middle of the night. Turned out it was just a raccoon banging a trash can.

Kevin Newman – Has been recalled into duty by the Post Office reserves. The Pirates tried to send Kevin Kramer in his place, but the ruse was discovered when a colleague found only saltines in his briefcase.

Ke’Bryan Hayes – While staying home and trying to remain safe, he’s been struggling because his sister, Ko’rona, and his father, Pa’Ndemic, are everywhere.

Cavan Biggio – Has been spending time with his dad as Craig takes cheese balls off his padded forearm.

Joc Pederson & A.J. Pollock – Pitching a reality show to MLB Network called Lock and Joc, where the two play MLB The Show against each other with Pederson on the left side of the couch and A.J. on the right side.

Alex Verdugo – Annoying everyone in his house after making the, “Get off my back. I’m stressed,” joke for the umpteenth time.

Yadier Molina – Has been on edge as he is in the most vulnerable age group and seems to catch everything. He’s been muttering under his breath that less susceptibility is wasted on DeJong.

Fernando Rodney – Has been taking a bullpen cart from the bedroom to the living room every day. The good news is he wears a mask whenever he leaves the house. The bad news is it’s tilted so that it covers his left cheek and side of the neck.

Juan Soto – Still only 21 years old, but, after March, feels 60.

Rick Porcello – Has been telling anyone that will listen how he’s been flattening his curve for years.

Wander Franco – Changed his name to Shelter-in-Place Franco.

Lewis Brinson – Having an easy go of it as not making contact comes natural.

Gleyber Torres – The Yankees’ 2020 shortstop is living up to the standard of Yankee legend Derek Jeter by giving out gift baskets with such treats as Purell, 2% milk, and beef jerky.

Yasiel Puig – The Puig family have demoted Yasiel to AAA. He is currently towing cars.

Garrett Hampson – Worked with a chemist to isolate the 0.56% of Ivory Soap that is impure, bottled it, and sent it to Ryan McMahon.

Wade Davis – Was asked by his wife to come in and finish a crossword. The puzzle asked for a ten-letter word for “end of times,” and instead of ARMAGEDDON, Davis wrote, “COORSFIELD.”

 
  1. KrazyIvan says:
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    Grand write Grey,

    Unfortunately I think the season is cancelled. I just looked up the roster of the Kansas City Royals and there is no way they are planning on playing professional baseball this year.

    • toolshed says:
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      Confirmed. I just checked the pirates projected lineup amd roster.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Haha, good point, fellas!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha

  2. galica says:
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    Grey!!!

    Great April Fool’s report, almost had me on a few of the blurbs!!

    a. The sky is falling, your car’s on fire and oh! no! your roof is collapsing! J/k, none of that is happening.

    b. MLB quote of the day for May 19, 1978

    ‘When the leaves turn brown, I’ll be wearing the batting crown.’

    ‘David Gene Parker, aka ‘The Cobra’. Parker won the batting title in 1977 and 1978 and threw out 26 runners in the 1977 season.

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks!

      A. Yikes…Oh! You got me!

      B. So awesome!

  3. Sweatpants Nation says:
    (link)

    Some real gems here. IMO if I was drafting from this list it would be a toss up between Porcello or Davis as my number one pick. Although the Harper one is a very strong case, too. Tough choices. Excellent work. Thanks for the laugh.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Shed Long, so useful right now

      • Wake Up says:
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        Shed Long is the name of my neighbor’s Golden Retriever…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I have a Golden Doodle named Fernando Tatis Sr.

          • My brother has a 3 1/2 legged Chihuahua named Vlad Sr…

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              HAHA, with no knees — that poor bugger

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks! Rudy helped with these too

  4. Pine Tar Incident says:
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    Lol, thanks for that Grey. Nice to laugh a little right now.

    Just finished by 12 team-mixed league OPS/QS instead of AVG/Wins draft (can keep four in the same round as the previous year, after two years they go to the top of the draft, got Huira in the 19th for example). A pretty Grey power/speed offense, normally wouldn’t have drafted Strasburg but fairly large rosters make it harder to stream-o-nator anyone decent.

    C – Alfaro
    1- Olson
    2 – Huira
    3 – Chapman
    SS – Mondesi
    OF – Acuna
    OF – Franmill
    OF – Schwarber
    Util – Mercado
    Util – Happ

    S – Strasburg
    S – Giolito
    RP – Iglesias
    RP – Kennedy
    S – Lamet
    S- Ryu
    S – Lynn

    B- Robbie Ray
    B- Boyd
    B- Urquidy
    B- Jo Adell

    Seems like I need to convert pitching into an upgrade at OF/Util. Probably speed to burn with Mondesi/Acuna/Happ/Mercado… so possible I could use that to shore up r/rbi/OPS deficiencies.

    Sounds about right? Hope you and Cougs are doing as well as can be expected.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Actually think I might sit tight with that roster. You should be able to find a hot bat to cycle in for Happ once the season starts. Nice team.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      No problem! Yeah, sounds about right — you don’t need Strasburg, and you’re a bit low on RBIs/OPS

  5. Skip Mcgillicuddy says:
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    The lewis brinson blurb: thats gold grey, GOLD!!!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      That one was Rudy, it is good!

  6. Dave D says:
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    Funny shizznit, Grey! Thanks I needed the laugh. I’m still trying to wrap my head around how a bioweapon or whatever from the Wuhan Institute of Virology has caused us to lose our sports, our cherished pastime! Thank God I’m working still but praying for lots of people who aren’t.

    Thanks for bringing the welcome humor and relief from the reality of Chicken Little being given the podium. I agree with you on Newman. And now it all makes sense why AAA took so long to respond. That tow truck driver clearly had ADHD.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Scary to think if a country *really* wanted to take us off the grid, it’s not that hard…

  7. Malicious Phenoms says:
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    The master fantasy baseball story teller, does it again. Brilliant, Bravo!

    • Snacks Zillion says:
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      Yes, this!!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks! Rudy helped with some too

  8. You Get Murdered First For Once says:
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    18th round of this AL only h2h 10 team slow draft, with OBP over AVG, QS over wins, net steals over steals and holds/total bases added.
    C kraken (4, yes the OPS rater is in play greatly here)
    1B y.gurriel (3B, 6)
    2B arraez 3B/OF (i hate drafting guys like this, BUT having said that he’s a sick OBP bring me back from the floor guys like kraken and to lesser extent gallo, 11)
    SS simmons (similar to arraez, but here it’s more about nearly every other SS left had at bat loss fears and/or just str up awful floors (goodrum) 13)
    3B vlad (K, 3)
    MI long (2B/OF 15)
    CI swiggy (16)
    OF (4)
    – gallo (K, 5)
    – mercado (K, 25)
    – lou bob (2)
    – choo (another sick OBP value with runs + at bats guaranteed, 12)
    util (1) otani (hitter only, 9)
    BN (generally want one)
    NA (1, generally want one, could be mountcastle or say kirilloff/s.brown or a pitcher)
    SP (7-8): bieber (1)
    heaney (8)
    otani (SP, 10)
    gibson (14)
    RP (4): giles (7)
    d.castillo (17)

    i’m right on pace for my hitting/SP/RP budget goals here (and that assumed the projected values of my 3 hitting keepers as part of overall draft capital). last RP in the 24th round, 2nd to last either in the 19th or 20th. SP 3 or 4 times (3 if i intend on drafting a stash prospect, then stream that 8th SP slot) in pick 20-24.

    i know what your rankings and rudy’s say here (it’s interesting the sometimes large differences between his OPS and AL only rankings on some guys though, like alberto jumps up crazy in the AL only ones), but with this build which of these to target (assuming they are all around in like 6 picks)
    CI guys: (i already have 2 1B and 2 3B guys with no at bat fears) choi, shaw, franco, moreland, tellez, ford
    MI guys: h.alberto (good god this guy is the much worse version of arraez (far worse OBP), BUT he qualifies at 2B/3B, something very useful to me with my lineup), n.lopez, peraza (at bat fears), l.garcia (rater doesn’t think madrigal is down long clearly), jp crawford (rater hates this guy more than n.lopez, even though he’s hitting 2nd), mountcastle (stash only guy though)
    OF (i got 4 OF with little platoon issues, and s.long could move to OF if i had a backup MI guy): teoscar, kiermaier, goodwin, bradley, maybin, fraley, piscotty, backups: frazier, pillar, margot, s.brown (stash guy).

    pretty sure the rater says JBJ here. obviously with as many days as otani will have off i need somebody that plays as my BN guy. but if that player covers MI or CI that gives more move around. plus i guess the highest risk i have is if s.long were to start losing playing time (d.gordon or somebody else). so i’m drafting one of these and probably one stash guy (mountcastle/kirilloff/s.brown or a pitcher, but this year seems worse than even normal to stash prospect pitchers with 1 stash slot over hitters) then 3-4 more SP and 2 more RP. war room set for 16 teamer (closest i could find to 10 team AL only, so i’m probably more setting for a 20 teamer really) says i’m good in AVG/OBP, good and equal in runs/rbi’s, strong in HR’s. weakest in steals, but i do not know if that is accounting for my roster spots or not.

    you see new ozark yet, came out saturday. good stuff.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Frazier for me (assuming its Adam). He’s slotted to bat at the top of the Pirates lineup, actually in the 3-spot per roster resource.

      If that’s Todd Frazier then I’d go with Alberto.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, finished new season of Ozark already…It was great, one of the few shows that gets better with each season…I use his rankings for AL-Only, so I’d say we’re same on him…I don’t hate Hanser, I mean, he’s not anything that special but for cheap AVG late, it could be worse, but yeah for OBP that’s a pass… I’m stashing Mountcastle

      • You Get Murdered First For Once says:
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        donkey it’s AL only. i forgot, yeah toddfather is available here too though and legal. it was c.frazier (he was in OF list and backup), ok, stash mount, if passing on alberto go the MI worried about s.long losing at bats (or that depth chart being wrong about him starting like it shows) and go one of the MI’s or somebody else

        • You Get Murdered First For Once says:
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          shaw and alberto just got taken right after i typed this, so they’re out anyway. also teoscar is gone.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Then bye to them

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah

          • You Get Murdered First For Once says:
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            i guess nicky lopez both to protect myself if s.long loses playing time to dee gordon (currently gordon is a str up bench guy at RR) and some steals. or JBJ but then i’d have a roster whole at MI if/when s.long loses playing time.

  9. KrazyIvan says:
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    Yoenis Cepedis will be seen in a future episode of Tiger King working to free a warthog from the exotic zoo. He mistakenly called PETA thinking it was a organization called Performing Enhancement for Training Athletes.

    • lennydykstraisjustkmisunderstood says:
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      Disturbing how similar the looks and mannerisms of carol baskin and hillary……they both have those Manson Lamps

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha, nice! Yoenis – While digging a ditch for his dead horse, he accidentally buried his entire career.

  10. lennydykstraisjustkmisunderstood says:
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    Nothing much going on but a couple things the local sports radio has been broadcasting old phillies opener they stop between innings and bring on players etc ………it thought it was going to be stupid but the sound of baseball in the radio in the backgorund does bring back good memories

    Watched the Tiger King on netflix last night it was ……..WTF!!!!! How can people that messed up exist? I you have not watched it check it out ………. Here Kitty Kitty

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Here Kitty Kitty is one of the greatest diss tracks in the history of music

  11. MattTruss

    MattTruss says:
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    HAHA, Lewis Brinson just doing what he does best, love it!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha, that was a Rudy addition, it is very good

      • haha I knew it he hates him and just cant seem to quit him love you Lewis!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Haha

    • That was definitely Rudy!

      Tyler O’neill says hold my 200lb dumbbells…

    • Licketty Splits says:
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      I’m in …need one more to fill it

      • MattTruss

        MattTruss says:
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        Done! Thanks Splits!

  12. 183414 says:
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    Good morning Grey. Before I’m off to the senior’s hour at the market (Gelson’s), thought I’d get some feedback and suggestions of what to do in the next couple of rounds.
    My current Best Ball 10 teamer went 6 rounds in less than a day yesterday (same pace as last one)…should be up to 8 rounds today.
    Arenado
    Turner
    Ketel
    Alonso
    Hiura
    Eloy

    Was planning to go hitter/s.p. at the 69/72 turn. When do you suggest doubling up on pitchers ? @89/92, 109/112 ? Planning on o.f./s.p., unless better hitting options elsewhere. Any favorites in this format @the 69/72 and 89/92 turns.
    Off to the market. Hope all is well.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Seems like about the right area to grab an arm and then probably another one at 89/92. I’d also be targeting Luis Robert at 89/92. Must have Robert on all teams.

      • Al KOHOLIC says:
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        Funny post today, was wandering what u could come up with today. Great job keeping us all entertained during this crazy time. Thanks again to everyone even the commenters associated with Razzball .Can’t believe we can’t get more razzslam long draft leagues going. Ones we won’t have to manage if and when things fire up. Won’t mind having twenty teams if half are that format

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Thanks, AL! Be safe out there!

      • 183414 says:
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        Thanks Donkey, if he’s there. It is best ball, so if any of Suarez, Stanton, Rosario, Soler, Cruz, Machado, Abreu, Conforto, Mondesi still there , what say you ? Don’t see Robert topping any of these hitters in best ball. Can probably throw in Moncada, Torres, Chapman, Moustakas, and T.Anderson into that group. Maybe in roto, but best ball loves power, and in Mondesi’s case 30 + s.b.’s.

        • 183414 says:
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          Just realized you said 89/92 for Robert. Got you.
          When would you start doubling up on pitchers ?
          Thanks.

          • Donkey Teeth

            Donkey Teeth says:
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            I’d consider doubling up on arms at 109/112. You’re going to need a bunch of em since you waited…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Ah, I see the players list now…Hmm…so many good players…I think OF/SP, so Soler or Rosario and an SP

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Gelson’s is my favorite! Ha, anyway…I’d start grabbing arms…Depends who’s there tho

      • 183414 says:
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        Would you grab 2 @69/72, or an s.p. and best bat ? At what point would you double up ? 89/92 ? 109/112….where I’d probably be inclined.

        Thanks.

        3 in front of me, so off to Juice Stop for double shot of wheat grass & kale/spinach smoothie; then to Pet Smart for my French Bulldog Charlie.

        Appreciate your advice.

        I listed players above in reply to D.T. who, if available, I’d be interested in. Your suggestions are appreciated.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Answered above, I don’t see any SPs tho — you have a Frenchie? That’s awesome, I love those dogs (any dogs really)…

          • 183414 says:
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            Love my Frenchie !!!

          • 183414 says:
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            Thinking grab a S.P. @69/72; 1 @ 89/92; double up @109/112.
            I believe Donkey agreed with this.
            What do you think ?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              What SPs?

              • 183414 says:
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                I’m now up: 69/72

                S.P.’s:
                Paddack
                Darvish
                Morton
                Glasnow
                Bauer
                Berrios
                Woodruff

                Hitters: (In order of adp)
                Cruz
                Soler
                Rosario
                Ozuna
                Robert
                Chapman

                I’m up now @69, and then after the next guy goes twice, I’m up again.

                My thought is either Paddack or Darvish now, and then a hitter. 2 questions: do I double up with s.p.’s or take a s.p. now and come back with a hitter. Please rank the hitters.

                Thanks.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Paddack or Yu, Rosario or Soler

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    I’d go 1 SP

                    • 183414 says:
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                      Thank you Mr. Albright !!!

                      Leaning to Darvish here.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Works for me

    • This is one badass list Andrew

  13. Wake Up says:
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    Oh no. I guess Youk broke his wrist and is out for the year.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Seriously? I hadn’t heard…The Greek God of Can’t Write With Chalk now! Huh?!

      • Wake Up says:
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        12 year call back

        rim shot

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Only the best!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Hands emoji across my computer screen

  14. -Sano Yo Ma-

    the new diet craze

    you can eat as often and as much as you like

    the catch is that you also have to be playing the cello while you eat

    and the cello is encased in jello

    and the fellow eating the jello off of the cello is also practicing on his yo-yo

    it’s a whole thing

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Sano’s Spanish for yo-yo diet

  15. Kevin Kramer is delivering Chevy Chase’s mail upstate…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Chevy Chase is opening a city in Michigan

  16. anyway I’m drunk already/still…

    Have a great day!

    Can’t wait for the year of May!!!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha, you too!

  17. LOLmets says:
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    Pretty sure I was watching live Korean baseball streaming on YouTube last night. These guys have baseball in March. Stay positive even tho the news keeps getting worse here, that’s expected. Got to stay positive.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, we need just to get thru April safe

      • LOLmets says:
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        If we all delete our social media accounts we would be cured. Can we go back to newspapers for the next month?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I didn’t know reading a poll in the USA Today would cure us all, but I’m willing to give it a chance

          • LOLmets says:
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            It’s all about the crossword puzzle. Lol.

            My point is it’s impossible to stay positive if you live on social media at the moment. Mindset is big imo. We’re constantly peppered with doom and gloom headlines. True or not we don’t need to read about it every second that def ain’t helping.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              I hear ya

            • 183414 says:
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              100% correct !!!

            • Biff Malibu says:
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              “Better wear” Wade(rs) Davis knows about that crossword. He would be a glass half empty sort but you’d be too if u had to pitch in that plateau

    • Coolwhip

      Coolwhip says:
      (link)

      yep, Korea is back to baseball. Japan still delayed a bit i think… there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

  18. Roy says:
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    Thanks for this Grey. Made my day.

    Any chance we could get Hitterton and Streamonator together and play a virtual season to generate stats? Getting desperate here.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha, I don’t know if that’s in cards

  19. 183414 says:
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    Rosario/Soler is that a coin flip ? Over Cruz because he’s locked into util. ?
    Forgot to add Snell. I assume he’s not on your wish list, anyway….not @69/72, anyway.

    • Coolwhip

      Coolwhip says:
      (link)

      i like Soler over Rosario, but its close. Rosario probably with more avg runs, soler with more hr rbis

      • 183414 says:
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        Totally a coin flip. But love Twins’ lineup, and really, really like Rosario. Such a stud. I believe Grey compares him with Rizzo. For consistent, safe numbers. Both in their prime. Both in the a.l. central. Rosario says he played hurt 2nd half last year, which might have kept him from running. Wouldn’t have been too sad if the guy with the 2 picks ahead of my 72 pick, had taken Rosario over either of his Grandal and Bauer.
        Thanks Cool.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          UTIL only in Best Ball is a killer tho

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, forget Cruz…You don’t want to lock up UTIL — I’d skip Snell too

      • 183414 says:
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        Loud and clear !

    • 183414 says:
      (link)

      Went Rosario, though Paddack was still there.
      @89/92 turn, I’ve been looking at points generated under best ball rules, and Chapman and Sano jump out. Based on your projections, if available , that’s where I’m leaning for a bat. Agree/disagree ?
      15 picks ahead of me, and who knows who’ll be there, but if I’m doing 1 s.p. and 1 hitter there, wouldn’t mind either.
      Think I’ll have to double up at 109/112, for probably a s.p. and a r.p.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Take an SP, man — bats will be there

        • 183414 says:
          (link)

          But you’re not suggesting 2 pitchers at 89/92, correct. Guess I wasn’t clear. Plan on taking 1 s.p. and 1 bat at 89/92.
          Plan on taking 1 s.p./1 r.p. @ 109/112.
          That work ?

          • Grey

            Grey says:
            (link)

            Take 1 SP and 1 bat at 89/92 then I guess reevaluate for next two, but prolly RP and SP or bat

            • 183414 says:
              (link)

              Thanks bro.
              Just came back from a power walk along Encinitas Ranch Golf Course . Heard Garcetti shut down trails, power walks all over L.A. I’d be in jail if I lived there. Need my exercise. All my doctors encourage walking as much as possible. Everyone stays in their own lane. Also need Vitamin D and ultraviolet rays. Garcetti just another little dictator. Feel sorry for the good people of La La Land, like you.
              In Japan everyone back at work. Wearing masks, but working.
              Our country will not recover from a total economic shutdown. Will do more damage than any virus. Wear masks, wear gloves, clean stuff down. I get it. But can’t just pull the plug on a 22 trillion+ economy. Up to 40% of work force out of work.

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                I walk my dog twice a day and we just zig zag around the streets avoiding teenagers

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Wow, that makes me sound old

                  • Coolwhip

                    Coolwhip says:
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                    LOL… get off my lawn!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Haha, teenagers are gonna be the death of us all!

                    • 183414 says:
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                      Find myself going back and forth brteeen walking path and bike lane to keep my social distancing intact. Lots of runners and bicyclists. I’ll run with my frenchie, but power walk when by myself.

                • 183414 says:
                  (link)

                  Love our dogs. I just keep my distance from everyone else.

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
                    (link)

                    Ha, yup!

  20. bigbear says:
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    What’s Sano ‘s secret? I keep raiding the emergency stash of chocolate! #therona19

    • Coolwhip

      Coolwhip says:
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      waiting for the Weird Al parody… My Corona

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha

  21. Coolwhip

    Coolwhip says:
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    This is what separates the Razz from the Rest. Thanks to you and Rudy, lol.

    Smile, though your heart is achin’
    Smile even though it’s breakin’
    When there are clouds, in the sky
    You’ll get by

    If you smile through your fear and sorrow
    Smile and maybe tomorrow
    You’ll see the sun come shinin’ through
    For you

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha, appreciate you!

  22. 2 Pint says:
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    Just wanted to thank Grey and the rest of the Razzball crew for your prospect suggestions. I’m involved in two auction leagues, one for AL and NL. Both leagues have minor league draft.

    After religiously following Razzball throughout the offseason I was able to draft the following minor leaguers:

    AL: Noelvi Marte, Aaron Bracho, Gilberto Jimenez and Tarik Skubal

    NL: Luis Matos

    Thanks for the info on the above prospects and I’m looking forward to reaping the rewards on these stud players. Keep up the good work!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Awesome! No problem!

  23. Gotime says:
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    Finished Ozark season 3 last night … I think it just keeps getting better!
    Any quick Netflix recommendations for a TV series?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, it was awesome… I’m watching Kingdom on Netflix now, it’s a zombie show recommended by Grimey, and I’m not sure what to make of it yet

      • Rudy Gamble

        Rudy Gamble says:
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        Train to Busan!!!

  24. toolshed says:
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    Who do you like better as a potential save source: treinen or knebel? Holds are ok too.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Treinen

  25. Jaysfordays says:
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    Cole and laureano or Bellinger and Giolito

    12 man 5×5 obp keeper league

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Cody

      • Jaysfordays says:
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        Thanks pal

        Do you like gio or Clevinger more?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Gio

  26. William Hung says:
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    These Mets sims on MLB The Show 20 are so realistic – they lost their first 5 games and got off to 5-0 lead in the final game of the series against the Phillies. Top of the 7th, DeGrom gives up a 2 run bomb for a 5-2 lead then Lugo can’t get out of the 8th after giving up another 2 run bomb to make the score 5-4. They manage to win 5-4 with Diaz actually nailing down a 1-2-3 9th, but even in a video game the Mets can give you a heart attack!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha, how’s Alonso doing? I have him in all leagues

  27. Nightpandas says:
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    Grey ya bored yet?

    Still trying to tweak my teams

    15 team keep 11 obp slg k/9 qs

    C WSmith
    1B Olson
    2b Albies
    3b Suarez
    Ss Mondesi
    Lf Soto
    Cf Gallo
    Rf Merrifield
    Util Cruz
    bn Carlson
    Sp Buehler EdRod Ryu Houser Maeda Odorizzi JJames Whitley
    Rp NAnderson, Workman, Givens

    Got offered Springer and Alcantara for my Gallo and EdRod

    Am I hurting my pitching too much?

    Stay safe my friend

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Not even close! Okay, a little — I’d take Gallo bc of the SPs

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        And I don’t like Gallo, as you know

  28. Trader says:
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    Just completed drafting my second team that has 19 cats, h2h, 12 teamer. Not as excited about this one. Lack of speed noted. Advice welcomed. 19 cats are:

    Hit: Runs. RBI, SB,BB, Ks, Ave, 1B,2B, 3B, HR
    Pitch: HRs, Ks, Wins, Losses, ERA, WHIP, Holds, Saves, Runs

    Ramos
    Au Shizz, Sano, Cron
    Altuve, Moose, Rosario
    Trout, Blackmon, Dahl, JD Davis, Verdugo
    Util: Urshela or Akiyama
    Glasnow, Castillo, Giolito, Ryu, Stroman
    Anderson, Colome, Pressley, Lugo, Britton

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Hmm…you’re missing speed, I don’t love a lot of your hitting, bunch of guys I wouldn’t draft… pitching seems okay

  29. 183414 says:
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    Damn, s.p.’s flew off the board. Sano as well. Going to take Matt Chapman @89, and starters available are: Gray/Soroka/Lynn/Montas/Wheeler/Gallen/Lamet/Kluber/Chapman/Osuna.

    I actually would take Montas, if the next guy doesn’t take his 4th starter next. How would you rank them ?

    • JC says:
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      Wheeler, Lamet…let’s see what the man says! Hope your walks and drafts are going well.

      • 183414 says:
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        Thanks JC. All good. Crazy best ball draft now, though. At least my hitting is pretty awesome through 9 rounds. Covered every slot but catcher and util. I can focus on pitching for the next 8 rounds.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Osuna, Aroldis, Gray, Lynn,

  30. 183414 says:
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    Would you take Gray @89 and hope that Chapman’s there @92 ?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’d take Osuna or Aroldis

  31. 183414 says:
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    Gray or Montas, if available ? Sticking w/ Chapman here.

  32. 183414 says:
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    Unfortch, he took Gray. Montas, Lynn, Wheeler, or Kluber ?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Go with a top RP

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Aroldis 1st

      • 183414 says:
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        I’m at pick 92. Only have Darvish. You prefer Aroldis over Lynn ?

        • 183414 says:
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          Held off on Lynn. Aroldis ?

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Aroldis

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah

      • 183414 says:
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        Going with Aroldis. Will definitely double up on starters @109/112.

      • 183414 says:
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        Glad I waited for you, Grey Man.

  33. SwaggerJackers says:
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    @Grey: My pessimistic personality is concerned this whole season is going to be cancelled. In an OBP keeper league, who’s the best speculative pickup as a potential keeper to start 2021 as an impact everyday player:

    Adell, Madrigal, Carlson, Wander, Kieboom, Solak, Brandon Belt, Hays, Mountcastle, Hilliard

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Wander

      • SwaggerJackers says:
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        Thanks! April Fools with the Brandon Belt inclusion. :)

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Haha

  34. 183414 says:
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    Took Lynn.

  35. Wake Up says:
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    dOinn dfraft nnow woud you iab keneddy or joe mustgrive or daul pejongf?

    • Swaggerjackers says:
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      Gotta go David Dahl. I think that was one of your options?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Mustgrieve

  36. Crazy J says:
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    This sucks… but hope remains

    May I present the 2021 Los Angeles Dodgers managed by yours truly in OOTP21

    SP – Buehler, Giolito, Graterol, Kershaw, Verlander
    RP – C.Ferguson, R.Iglesias, K.Jansen, J.Karinchak, F.Kilome, S.Lugo, R.Osuna,D.Williams
    CL – Kimbrel
    C – W.Smith, T.Barrera
    1B – Muncy, E.White
    2B – Lux
    3B – Arenado, J.Turner
    SS – Lindor
    LF – Yelich
    CF – Bellinger
    RF – Mazara, Aquino

    Tried to keep Betts but he wanted too much… and I fear that’s the case IRL, but the real Dodgers didn’t do the “Crazy” moves I did, so they can probably retain him… fingers crossed.

    Anyhow, stay safe and thanks for something baseball related to read during these unpleasant times. Haha on Bregman… I actually went to do a search last night and typed Asstros… oops!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha, nice! You stay safe too! The 2021 Dodgers look awesome! Can’t wait for the road games to Colts for Arenado

  37. “Why do you keep spitting into my potted plants?” f’ing funny!! done that

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