You ever draft, like, twelve teams and have eleven teams that are all very similar and one team that is nothing like the other teams? This, here, is that other team. In theory, this team could be my one good team and the other eleven could be garbage, but I sure hope that’s not the case. I started this draft like every other league this offseason — by taking Pete Alonso in the 2nd round. At that point, this team veered into a different direction to never return. For those not in the know, it’s a weekly, 15-team, 5×5, two-catcher league that lasts for 50 rounds and there’s no waivers. NFBC has decided to cut off new slow draft leagues like this one, so I don’t think we’re doing another one this year. Sorry, I wanted to do one more league too. I will now put on The Knack and change the words in my head to My Corona. Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap:
C: Chance Sisco 24th
C: Austin Romine 25th
1B: Pete Alonso 2nd
2B: Michael Chavis 16th
SS: Trea Turner 1st round, 6th pick
3B: Vladimir Guerrero Jr. 5th
MI: Dansby Swanson 12th
CI: Evan White 19th
OF: George Springer 3rd
OF: Andrew Benintendi 7th
OF: Willie Calhoun 10th
OF: David Peralta 14th
OF: Austin Riley 18th
UTIL: Shogo Akiyama 21st
Bench: Jose Peraza (23), Evan Longoria (27), Adam Haseley (29), Albert Pujols (31), Eric Sogard (32), Asdrubal Cabrera (33), Raimel Tapia (34), David Bote (36), Monte Harrison (37), Aaron Hicks (42), Ryon Healy (43), Sandy Leon (44), Greg Allen (45), Rangel Ravelo (47), Austin Slater (49)
P: Luis Castillo 4th
P: Brandon Woodruff 6th
P: Max Fried 8th
P: Craig Kimbrel 9th
P: Alex Colome 11th
P: Marcus Stroman 13th
P: Joey Lucchesi 15th
P: Adrian Houser 17th
P: Kevin Gausman 20th
Bench: Freddy Peralta (22), Mackenzie Gore (26), Sean Newcomb (28), Ryan Pressly (30), Jose Urena (35), Joe Ross (38), Jordan Hicks (39), Drew Pomeranz (40), Shun Yamaguchi (41), Tyler Rogers (46), Devin Smeltzer (48), Touki Toussaint (50)
NOT TO GET ALL TOUCHY-FEELY, BUT HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES AND TOUCH THIS TEAM?
Like so many of us, I’ve drafted more than one fantasy baseball teams this preseason. With this addiction love comes a very real side effect, I don’t want to own the same guys in every league. I mean, you can’t avoid it sometimes — Hey, Pete Alonso! What’s up, Willie Calhoun? Imagine seeing you here, Craig Kimbrel. Marcus Stroman, nice to see you–Whoa, no Ketel Marte? — but when tasked with creating this new team, I leaned heavily on the new and less on the team. That mental burpee forced my brain to bend down and jump up over a team I love to a team that I’m…struggling to like. Lots of new faces that I just need to wear for a few weeks and see how happy I am. My category targets don’t jump off the page that I should love this team, either, so that might be adding to my anguish:
If you were to trust the War Room (free with subscriptions), and I do, then it’s hard to get super yippee-kay-mother about this team. What category am I excelling in? ERA? Lowercase yay with an uppercase WTF.
MAN, THIS IS TURNING INTO A SUPER BUMMER. PEOPLE OUT HERE READING THIS WHILE WAITING FOR A SHIPMENT OF HYUNDAI-BUILT VENTILATORS SO CAN YOU GET A LITTLE MORE CHEERY?
This is the 1st team ever where I’ve owned Vlad Jr. So, that’s good…*scrunches nose like Larry David*…I guess. I think Glad Vuerrero Jr. really screwed up my team, if I’m being honest. He’s not good for runs, RBIs, HRs and awful for SBs. He does give good average, but since when is the Fantasy Master Lothario (don’t abbreviate it) paying for average? Average buys become average buys…Whoa, that sounds like something you’d find under my name at Wikiquote. What good is average when it’s the largest variance category for hitters? Then throw in Chavis and Evan White on this team, and what are they doing exactly? 20/2/.250 combined? Woe is me vs. my usual ‘whoa is my team stacked.’ My dread about my team really started to sprout its head in the 31st round. Usually in these leagues I alternate between hitter and pitcher each round, but in the 31st round I realized how awful my hitting was and tried to correct it by drafting four straight hitters, and seven of eight rounds with hitters. Then, after 120 picks of that, I realized I wasn’t helping my hitting as much as hurting my pitching, so I autocorrected again and took four straight pitchers. Realizing again, that was not a good move, I started drafting hitters again and autocorrected duck to *uck. Then, I ended up alternating at the end, but it was too late by then and the die had been cast. Maybe we should lay to rest the saying “die has been cast” with the way the world is right now. Hmm…maybe “lay to rest” isn’t good either.
THIS IS THE KIND OF UPLIFTING DRAFT RECAPS I COME HERE FOR, THANK YOU. *MIMES FALLING OUT A WINDOW LIKE TOMMEN* DO I DARE ASK YOU ABOUT HOW YOUR PITCHING IS SCORING WELL FOR ERA, BUT AWFUL FOR WHIP AND NOT GREAT FOR STRIKEOUTS?
Okay, I’m going to defend my pitching a little here. Steamer pitcher projections show it doesn’t like Houser at all, and is way more meh on Woodruff and Castillo than I am. For unstints, our Steamer 15-team rankings have Houser as the 134th pitcher, below guys like Luke Jackson (huh?), Andrew Miller (um, what?) and about equal with Danny Duffy (are you effin’ with me?). My rankings have Houser way higher. I like him for around a 3rd to 4th starter. Steamer’s saying he’s more like a 6th or 7th starter. That’s fine, if he’s that bad, I can switch him out with one of my many bench starters. Furthermore–
–DAMN, BUSTING OUT THE FURTHERMORE AND WE HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED MUCH ABOUT YOUR HITTING YET–
Steamer likes guys like Clayton Kershaw and Trevor Bauer way more than my Luis Castillo, which is not how I feel about him. Steamer also likes Andrew Heaney and Carlos Carrasco more than Brandon Woodruff; I don’t. So, if Steamer is wrong — say it’s never so! — and I’m right, my pitching will be even better than it’s showing in the War Room values. I tend to think that’s the case, and my pitching isn’t bad at all.
FINE, I’LL ADDRESS THE CALAMITY THAT IS THIS TEAM. YOU’RE LOW ON SPEED AND POWER. (WHEN YOU’RE ALREADY CAPPED AND BOLDED, IT’S HARD TO EMPHASIZE, SO I WENT WITH ITALICS.) HOW’D YOU PULL OFF THAT TRASH?
Can I blame Vlad again? As I was saying with my defense of my pitching, similar shituation with my hitting. I like guys more that I drafted than the War Room values them. I like Albombso, Springer, Vlad Jr. (a little), Chavis, White– Well, just about everyone more than the Steamer values. This is a dangerous place to be, because our projections are about the best in business and to disobey them is not usually smart. Hopefully, with the shortened season, I can squeeze out enough power and speed in 100 games vs. them becoming anchors over 162 games. Was this my goal? Nope, nuh-huh, not at all. I drafted most of this team before the National Guard was at my doorstep testing my dog’s saliva. Listen (or read as the case may be), all of our 2020 fantasy baseball rankings are updated to 100 games played, and what, say, Eric Sogard might do over 100 games may not be different from what, say, Dansby Swanson might do. I’m so excited for this season to start at some point, while fully admitting it may be an absolute crackers season, due to small sample sizes. Maybe Albombso and Vlad will both hit 40 homers in 100 games, thinking it’s one long Home Run Derby vs. one short season.
