Yesterday, Abraham Toro-Hernandez (0-for-4) was called up by the Astros. Funny, I thought Abraham Toro-Hernandez was one of those special sushi rolls. “It’s got lox for the Jews, toro because it’s sushi and it’s served in a giant tostada. You want?” That’s the sushi restaurant waitress who is always annoyed. For Toro-Hernandez, I did a google (which is similar to when a baby says ‘I did a doo-doo,’ because you don’t do nothing but sh*t for 20 minutes), and I’ve come to realize the most overused expression of the last five years is “The Most Interesting Man.” Saw one article talk about how Toro was “The Most Interesting Man” because he spoke multiple languages and grew up in Montreal. That doesn’t make him interesting, that makes him from Montreal. Why does this infuriate me? He looks like a batting average-forward guy (.306 in Double-A) with some power (16 HRs in 98 games), and more speed than he’s shown in the minors (4 SBs). Appears to be a bit raw and maybe just a bench guy, but major league pitching and Double-A might not be that different, so Shruggy the Emoji shrugs. With Correa needing a giant bubble to stay healthy, Toro could see everyday starts at 3rd, and I could see grabbing him for the flier and upside. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ryan Pressly – Hit the IL with a knee contusion. At least that’s the rumor, but no one would dare look below Pressly’s waist for fear of passing out from sight of his junk.
Gerrit Cole – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.75. Can’t believe I put $55,000 on the Tigers. They rolled over the Astros on Wednesday, damn!
John Hicks – 1-for-1, 2 RBIs and his 10th homer, and 2nd homer in two games and I couldn’t even squeeze him into the Buy column coming later today because there’s so many catchers that are hitting right now. I’m about to carry three catchers in one league. Pour some catchers on me, Def Leppard!
Niko Goodrum – 1-for-4 and his 12th homer, hitting .249. I might be the only one who actually owns Goodrum and didn’t have him in my lineup because he was out for the last few days. “Use the Goodrum” is the #1 rule of Coughlin’s Law.
Yoan Moncada – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 21st homer, hitting .303 (!), as he was activated from the IL. Kevin from ESPN’s “Get Him In Your Lineup” Department said, “Didn’t know I would offend Karen when I said, ‘You miss 100% of the shots if you don’t vaccinate.'”
James McCann – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 15th homer, hitting .289. *Tawny Kitaen on the hood of a Camaro as catchers pour all over her*
Ariel Jurado – 8 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.48, as he threw a complete game shitburger. Just had to mention it because you don’t see it often. That’s a serious throwback complete game from before bullpens were invented. From Wikipedia, “With the rise of labor unions in the 1880’s, baseball managers were under fire from throwing their pitchers the regulation 14-inning game, and devised a system with criminals from a local police station bull-pen.”
Leury Garcia – 1-for-2, 1 run and his 15th steal, hitting .283. Been meaning to mention this schmohawk for a while, but so many things to mention and so little room between my swollen knuckles from carpal tunnel. Everyone needs steals, and Garcia’s 15 steals actually rate. Plus, he’s hitting leadoff and not killing you in average.
Freddie Freeman – 1-for-4 and his 34th homer, hitting .304. Freeman is a good litmus test for how juiced balls are. He’s a 32-homer guy, so however many homers he goes over 32, that’s how juiced the balls are. This is very scientific.
Mike Soroka – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.41. With each great game, next year the Regression Fairies are going to turn Soroka into their own private Grindr.
Sandy Alcantara – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.15. Look at Alcantara neutralizing runners like Al Cowlings. Streamonator likes Alcantara’s next start just a bit, and I could see giving him a whirl.
Jeff Samardzija – 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.44. If I had Samardzija and/or Sonny Gray on all of my teams this year — i.e., guys I had everywhere last year — I’d be winning massively in pitching categories. This doesn’t mean I was wrong to draft them last year instead of this year, I was just unlucky, which is why it’s hilarious anyone considers themselves a full-caps, spelled-out Expert. It’s also why it’s so goofy people draft starters early. I will remind you of this next year when German Marquez is a top 10 starter.
Kyle Hendricks – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.20. Hendricks is like a poor man’s Ryu, though I believe they were drafted in reverse order so Ryu’s a poor man’s Hendricks? Man, I’ve painted myself into a logic corner here. What if they’re both fiscally responsible facsimiles?
Ken Giles – Out on paternity leave. Wow, he didn’t even look pregnant. But don’t bother with Derek Law (2/3 IP, 3 ER, blown save, ERA at 5.13) who unfortunately for the Jays didn’t knock up anyone nine months ago.
Jacob Waguespack – 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.63 as he went into Dodger Stadium like en bee dee. Dodgers hitters might’ve been off-balance all night because every time they went to bat, behind home plate, Larry King would give a fifteen-minute anecdote about his days at Camp Waguespack. “I’d take a kayak into the lake with Judith Burnstein. That was the last older woman I ever was with…She was a real strumpet.”
Griffin Canning – Done for the year. The Angels are on pace to become the 1st modern-era team to not have one pitcher reach 100 IP. That’s gonna be hard to blame on Trout, but I’m sure some people will try.
Francisco Cervelli – Released by the Pirates and it’s being reported he has “some sort of deal” with the Braves. Me too, man, they get me so mad! By the way, the Pirates releasing Cervelli: That fixed them! Definitely the move to turn around a whole franchise. Way to go, Pirates!
Max Scherzer – 4 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 2.41, as he was activated from the IL. He’s basically rehabbing in the majors. Cool for the Nats as they chase the playoffs, but not so cool for fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!).
Trea Turner – 2-for-5, 1 run. In the 1st inning, he turned a single into a hustle double, so he’s not hurt, but then Adam Eaton bunted, which I guess was a weak attempt for a hit, but why isn’t Trea just stealing third? I’d say it’s a team philosophy, but Robles stole his 20th bag yesterday. I don’t know what’s up with Trea, and it’s driving me nuts.
Anthony Rendon – 2-for-5, and his 28th homer, hitting .324. Someone’s trying to steal the NL MVP from Travis Shaw, amongst others.
Masahiro Tanaka – 6 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.68. The A’s aren’t exactly pushovers, but Tanaka should be pushed over to waivers.
Gleyber Torres – 4-for-4, 3 runs, and his 30th and 31st homer, hitting .288. Light bulb: Maybe Gleyber doesn’t hit the O’s well. Maybe he hits well against vowels. “Whoa,” Keanu.
Tanner Roark – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.95. Weird to say a guy with a barely under-4 ERA is underrated, but I do think Roark is. Streamonator is a little iffy on his next road start, but I could see streaming him.
Brandon Lowe – Out for the remainder of the season with a strained quad. “Shame we’re going to miss him tremendously…” Kevin Cash said as he pulled Lowe’s jersey off, over his head, and put it on over Nate Lowe’s head. (By the way, the Rays have a third Lowe in the minor league system. Some teams don’t sign big-name free agents, other teams save costs on jerseys by only signing guys with the same last name, some teams do both.)
Jeff McNeil – Will start a rehab assignment in Triple-A Syracuse. More like Squirr-acuse! *throws own computer out the window* Can’t beat that one!
Aaron Civale – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 1.82. No, he’s not that good. I don’t think he’s even as good as Pukie Houser, who I’m still feeling out on how much I like him. However, I’m in on Civale until he comes crashing down.
Paul DeJong – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 23rd homer. Also, in this game, Marcell Ozuna (1-for-3), 2 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 23rd homer too. Colonel Mustard with a fire-breathing OZUNA in a Japanese monster movie!
Dexter Fowler – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 15th homer, hitting .251. Fowler ended up being a good $1 bet by me in my Tout Wars draft (12-team NL-Only). It’s too bad Trea Turner decided to stop running, Greg Holland, Marquez, Wheeler and Matz ruptured my team’s ratio spleen and Porcelain Dahl can’t stay on the field. I’m in third, but I need a miracle to move up, and a gentle nudge to fall down.
German Marquez – 6 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.76. Looking for the Nuremberg rallies every time with German and getting trials.
Nolan Arenado – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 32nd homer. I thought the Pussycat Swallowtail butterfly was an invention of Gilligan’s Island, but I’ll be damned if that’s not one. It doesn’t seem like it wants to fly away, so let’s put it by this open window–NOOO!!! Torenado!
Kyle Freeland – Hit the IL with a groin strain. As a porn star would say, damn, tough blow.
HOU has called up virtually every player from their AAA roster at some point this year except tucker. Reddick was hitting a robust .179 coming into last night with a .217 SLG and .226 OBP in the 2nd half. He has ZERO homers and 5 rbi in the entire 2nd half in the Astros lineup. Do you think Tucker comes up in Sept and displaces Reddick?
I expected tucker to be up already since he was on the 40 man roster but they’ve stuck with Reddick despite how $hitty he has been. I’ve had tucker stashed all year b/c I thought he’d be up by now and missed out on owning some other guys who could have helped. Thx
I think he’ll be up in Sept but guessing he doesn’t play everyday
which is more likely? 1. kyle tucker is not being called up because he slept with jeff lunhow’s daughter 2. kyle tucker does not actually exist and his supposed minor league career is a conspiracy 3. josh reddick and jake marisnick have compromising photos of lunhow (or his daughter)
My guess is a combination, Reddick and Marisnick hired a PI that followed around Lunhow’s daughter and her questionable lifestyle and it happened upon her at Jackie Treehorn’s Malibu estate pornstar party where she got incredibly drunk and did questionable things with Kyle Tucker who also happened to be there and drunk… and to the amazement of Josh and Jake they finally had the perfect blackmail the’ve been waiting for to secure their positions and coincidentally keep a top prospect a bay.
Yeah, I think Tucker’s on his way
Grey!!
Excellent report, top shelf!
a. You and I both know that Cervelli’s days were numbered when he said he was making a career change away from catching due to all the concussions. Trouble is he was useless as a batter in ALL other positions so he kind of played himself out of the organization. But then LaStella and maybe he can be reborn.
b. Abbott and Costello quote of the day for August 23
The Wistful Widow of Wagon Gap, 1947
Costello [Chester Wooley]: We stop the stage, the bandits are waiting for the stage, and then you show up instead of the stage.
Abbott [Duke Egan]: That’s pretty well-staged.
c. Have a nice weekend.
Cheers,
Ante
Thanks!
A. Yeah, he should be a coach, he’s been hit on the head perfect number of times
B. Nice
C. Thanks!
holding civale for his next start(tigers) then *buh-bye* – david spade..
Luery or Deshizz for sagnof? ..and is there anything to this Kevin Ginkel guy in Zona?..other than sounding like a serial killer
I think he gets CWS after DET as well
Deshizz is it’s pure sagnof.
Can’t speak to Ginkel, haven’t seen him throw yet. Numbers look legit though if you need an MR…
Ha, yup… DeShizz — haha, nah, or not yet at least, but MR
Start Paddack today (Bos)?
I am also curious about this
the robots say yes
my gut feeling is less optimistic
I would unless you have a tight innings limit remaining
I am
Rank ROS Castellanos, Meadows, Benintendi. Thanks
Castellanos, Meadows, Benintendi
Agree with DT
Morning Grey!
Fraley or Toro-Hernandez?
Fraley for me
Hmm…Prolly try Fraley 1st
Do you guys like Velazquez vs Mia or DeSclafani vs pit as a stream today? If so do you like one better than the other?
I prefer Velasquez
Agree with DT — I’m streaming both tho
16-team 5×5 league. Margot or Austin Nola ROS?
Really ROS? Margot
Hey Grey,
You starting Kelly @ MIL today? QS league.
Thanks!
Pretty much never
No way
Matz hasn’t underperformed really. He’s 8-7 with a 4.18 era and decent k’s. Plus he looks to be getting stronger here down the stretch. He’s been insane at home.
Entering his start on July 16, Mets LHP Steven Matz had a 4.87 ERA and was coming off a brief demotion to the bullpen.
And while Matz was in the bullpen, Mickey Callaway wouldn’t even commit to his eventual return to the rotation.
Since then, Matz has a 2.81 ERA (his overall ERA has dipped to 4.18) and has struck out 38 batters in 41.2 innings (seven starts) while walking eight and allowing just three home runs.
Yeah, but my league is a weekly league and very deep, so it’s hard to only start at home — so 4.18 is fine, but between bad benchings and tough matchups, my ERA on my team for him is prolly worse….I agree with you tho, he has been good at home
Trying ro dump Sale in a keeper league im done with this year. 3 offers. Gio U, and Kyle Hendricks. Hunter Dozier and Heaney or Yuli, Fiers. Categories are so close I’m just looking for the best combo. Thx.
I don’t follow what the offers are, because this seems like two offers and you’re saying three
Oh, last deal is Yuli/Fiers?
I’d take that potentially, but is Sale a keeper? What’s the price, what’s the league?
Martin Perez vs Det
Velasquez @mia
Cease vs Texas
Pick 2. Looking for quality starts only.
That rain really screwed me in one league. H2h playoffs down by one QS and civale is one out away from a QS and the game gets delayed
Add Ivan Nova vs Texas to that group
VV, Perez
This time of year comments section turns into Phoenix in July.
I traded Shaw pre-season for Peraza. That trade made both teams worse and both players were dropped on the exact same day a few months later.
Haha, yeah… At least it was even!
Which is why August is also a good time to talk about experimental phases in college, panty thieves (what’s with them anyway??), 80’s soap operas, Soviet cyber hacking…or ask Grey about strange celebrity interactions….
Are Luke and Laura back together? They were always my favorite 80s soap opera couple, I don’t think I was alone, amiright?
Luke and Laura…hmmm…I’m putting our office research analysts on it. It’s Friday right? Should fly….I mean it’s at least a step up from having them find the cheapest dress socks online with the lobsters on them.
Sounds like you have a few Kevins from ESPN working under you!
I worked at a local news station in Pittsburgh. One guy briefly left for his dream job at ESPN. He hated it. Said it was a meat grinder and his bosses were dicks. Eventually came back. And Karl Ravech apparently wears a toupee.
Incredibly, Karl Ravech wears Chris Berman’s back hair as a toupee
I think ESPN prolly became soulless when acquired by Disney
An expiring Chris Sale was just dropped in a keeper pts league. Anything about his health that you can tell me to stop me from waking up early on a Sunday to pick him after he (hopefully) clears waivers so I can get him for $1×3?
He’s easily worth $1 — he’s at worst a top 25 SP
That’s what I was thinking. Didn’t know if there was some long term injury effect I wasn’t aware of.
Looks like I’m up at 3am est on Sunday!
Wakey wakey!
I’m sure my wife will appreciate me heading to bed at 9 on a Saturday night all so she can hear an alarm at 3 am to pick up a player for a fantasy baseball team.
Oh the sacrifices we make.
Haha, if she loves you, she’ll understand… tell her Grey says so
Any guess who is pitching for the Astros Sunday? Uriquidy & Valdez seem to be the most likely options, start either?
One of these seems right, but I wouldn’t touch them
Rank These 1B ROS?
Canha
C. Walker
Kendrick
Kendrick has been great this year but is on short side of platoon and maybe even less than that when Zimmerman returns. I picked him up for this weekend though (vs 3 lefties in Chicago).
That leaves the other two and I’d take Walker over Canha. More power, better offensive team.
Agree with Rafi
Grey, my over the internet acquaintance friend! Really interested to see where you fall with Moncada for next year’s rankings. Football can take a hike. Give me that winter fantasy baseball content!
Anyway…H2H playoffs start next week and my match up this week is nearly meaningless and looking to make an acquisition focused on next week to preserve the acquisitions allotted for that week. Dave Roberts says May will get a start on the Dodger’s upcoming road trip.
May @ SD seems like a worthy stream?
Thanks!
Ha, nice, Jose! I’d guess Moncada is around a top 40-50 pick, prolly underrated
I’m streaming May @SD but my league is deep, is yours?
It’s only a 10 team (ponts league (forgot that minor detail)) league, but each team carries 9 SPs, so guys on waivers are generally in the 90+ SP range for streams. Other options form Monday/Tuesday would be Vargas vs. Pit, D Rod vs AZ, Keller vs OAK, Alcantra vs CIN, Smyl vs Pit.
May seems like the best option.
Dropping EdRod @ COL because there’s no explantion needed for that.
Haha, of course
Yeah, those other SPs are far from interesting
That was my thought as well. Will be leaning on SON heavy next week for the most interesting of the far from interesting match ups that will be available to me. Fingers crossed, prayer hexagons, and reverse jinxes for all next week!
Thanks Grey!
Yeah, I need all that witchcraft too! No problem
Marquez is so frustrating
Who should sit next week, need era and k’s in that order
Hendricks @ NYM
Odorizzi @ CHW
Marquez at home v BOS & PIT
leaning towards sitting German (for the rest of the year!)
thank you!
Marquez
It’s been a good ride with ya Grey – but I think my YOLO train has finally come to an end.
Here’s Marquez’s matchups for the next 4 weeks:
Week 21: home vs BOS, home vs PIT
Week 22: @ SD
Week 23: home vs SD
Week 24: home vs NYM
Next week is the last week of week of the regular season – currently in 1st and trying to get that 1st place reg season payout – then playoffs. Outside of that matchup in Petco – is it even called Petco still? – he’s basically unrosterable for the rest of the year. Kristallnacht no more.
I was thinking the same things as well
Yeah, YOLO train burst into flames from too much YOLO’ing, which we all should’ve seen coming
It was the best of the times, but mostly the worst of times
And as you alluded to above, it will only get worst next year when we have no shares of this Heinrich Himmler only to have him put together a top 10 year.
Yeah, and then we’re going to own the ubermensch in 2021 when he’s awful again
Tauchman is on the WW in my league. WOuld you drop Santander for him for ROS?
Nah
Trade cole hamels for Oscar Mercado? 20 teams thanks
Sure
Making a run at 2nd/3rd in my 15 team roto and need QS in the worst way – hitting is very solid – do you pull the trigger on this:
I give Blackmon/Greene/DL Archer
I get Soroka/Keuchel/A.Meadows or Calhoun
If you like the Soroka side, do you prefer Meadows or Calhoun?
Thanks
Seems good, take Meadows
Thank you
No problem
Lux or Robert for the biggest ROS impact (if any)? Thx.
Lux
Looking for a batter for the weekend who could provide Runs, Avg.
L. Garcia vs Tex
Fowler vs Colo
Pollack vs NYY
DeJong vs Colo
Canha vs SF
Thank you and have a nice cool weekend-
Leury
Thank you again. I was leaning that way but wanted your input before making the move.
No problem
Cut Melancin for SAGNOF, right?: CMart; Jimenez; Melancin.
Cut? He’s been great… Better than Jimenez
Start or Sit Jake Flaherty tonight for his first career start at Coors?
No way
Flaherty is at home
Yes, but I still have dreams how his blow-ups cost me ERA 2 weeks in a row.
Aug-10. 4 runs/4 on-base in 0.1 innings
Aug-14. 2 Runs/2-on base in 0.2 innings.
Thanks for the reality check.
No problem
Jimenez,Lugo or Bradley?
Started out blowing off saves in a league that counts holds separately.Reached for Hader,then Knebel got hurt and Hader got the 9th,forcing me to try for saves.Managed to scrounge up Hendricks and Rogers,now I’m in that crappy zone where you’re putting resources into a cat and still coming up short.
Lugo
Thanks.Forgot to mention it’s K/9, K/BB Leage.Still Lugo?
Lugo’s been great outside of one game
Grabbed,thanks.
No problem
@Grey: 12 team weekly roto. are you yolo’ing with marquez next week with two home starts (vs bos, vs pit) or looking for other options….
Nah, he’s not worth it
Happy Friday Razzballers!! Hope everybody has a great weekend.
You too, Snacks!
Got to drop one since Mondcada came off DL.
10 team keeper league OBP
Bench players
McMahon
Siemen
Moncada
Castellanos
Puig
Gurriel Astros
Albies
McMahon
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Awwww man!!! You left out Ozuna’s HR!!!
I always enjoy how you write up Ozuna!! Ozuna see ball. Ozuna hit ball far. Ozuna smile big smile. Hahaha!!
I combo’d him in DeJong
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Tawny Kitty? I thought you were a rappin’ arts guy?
She was nice back then. Looks like she’s from an alien planet now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPq2wDUFH_U
Same doc who did Melanie Griffith??
TGIF Tarzan
She beat up Chuck Finley, who can forget? I’m convinced no one looks good years after their plastic surgery
Last time I benched Mercado he had a career week, so hesitant to sit him. However with his sporadic playing time recently (w/G.Allen) I plan on inserting DeShields in his place. Delino (4 vs SEA / 2 @LAA) looks to have a better slate than Mercado (3 @ DET / 3 @ TB). What’s your crystal ball say? In this spot I’m primarily looking for SB’s, 5X5 standard weekly format.
BTW – pulled an oblique reading the “Rendon trying to steal the MVP from Shaw” quote. Got to be able to laugh at yourself once in a while….
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