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Imma put together a time capsule. Get in there discontinued foods we love — the Pudding Pops, the Viennetta ice cream cake, the beef tallow-fried McDonald’s fries. Get in there stash of Ernest Scared Stupid laserdiscs. We’ve even gonna stash celebrities who we didn’t know everything about like pre-2000’s Hulk Hogan. Finally, in this time capsule, we’re putting Itch’s first mention of Curtis Mead, “Grab a tankard. Time to get tipsy. Mead is a little like Jackie Chan in The Legend of Drunken Master in that he’s slightly unconventional in his fluidity. He can hit just about any pitch and employs a variety of swings to do so, which can be an extremely rare and valuable skill so long as you don’t lose your best base mechanics along the way. You don’t compare people to Vladimir Guerrero Sr. because he was an omicron—sorry, a unicorn—but that’s the kind of skill I’m referencing. CJ Abrams and Julio Rodriguez have some of this in them too. They, like the 6’2” 171 lb Mead, can collect hits on cuts that look less than picturesque. These contact-making skills allowed Mead to play at four different levels this year, beginning in Low-A and ending in the Arizona Fall League with the AAA playoffs in between. It’s been a wild ride for Mead, and I’d like to ride my El Dorado over Grey.” Okay, not cool! That was from 2021! He was a top prospect five years ago! This year, he’s hitting third for a solid lineup, his HardHit% is way up, his exit velo up, his barrels up, his Ks down, his walks up, his power up, and he has some speed. Not everyone takes the same amount of time to break out, but Mead legitimately seems like he’s found it at age 25. Now if I can only find Pizza Hut stained glass lamps to put in this time capsule. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

PSYCHE! This post was released a week early for Patreon members. It will be released all year early for Patreons, so if people are getting a jump on you, it’s because they paid the $10. Anyway, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell:

BUY

Jhonny Pereda – It’s going on two weeks now with a very weak crop of hot catchers. What do we need to get a catcher hot around here? “A dark parking lot and some hand lotion.” I wasn’t asking you, Reese McGuire.

Joc Pederson – The UTIL-Only thing is brutal, so I kinda just ignored him, figuring no one would pick him up, but I just looked at his stats for the first time all season and he looks like he’s legitimately Zombino’ing.

Kyle Manzardo – “Come get your Manz!” said not like a guest on The Maury Povich Show but as someone pointing to a fantasy baseball waiver wire.

Endy Rodriguez – I saw he was hitting .300 the other day, so I looked up at his BABIP. I was expecting absurdly high, and I was not disappointed.

Spencer Horwitz – He has the rare combo of a higher walk rate than strikeout rate. It’s so rare we should have a name for players who have a higher BB% than K%. Please suggest in the comments.

Vaughn Grissom – Hot on the 7-day Player Rater, that goes without saying, but, as I say, I also look at each player’s season-long stats and Vaughn Grissom’s are–Well, have I mentioned he’s been hot for the last week?

Paul Goldschmidt – Don’t worry about losing Judge, Yankees fans, you have Goldschmidt. Why are they walking into the ocean?

Luis Garcia Jr. – You know I love me some Lu-Ga-Ju. Check out this card around my neck — [hanging a Lu-Ga-Ju collector’s card around my neck from a gold chain like it’s the Pikachu Illustrator card] — but you could make a case Garcia shouldn’t be a starter for real baseball with his awful defense and terrible OBP.

Isiah Kiner-Falefa – Rigging a ceiling trap so I can pull a string and falafel balls fall to celebrate Israeli Diner Falafel and telling people it’s raining chickpea.

Jorge Mateo – He’s having a very minor Zombino season. Solid speed, some homers, easily career high OBP and average. Still small sample size — that’s what she said!

Brooks Lee – In Wikipedia, they list us as being the ones who coined Jon Jay as The Federalist. Photo evidence, provided by screenshot:

And I think we need to start a petition to get Brooks Lee to use my nickname for him, Be Water. It’s so perfect. Non-humblebrag.

Marcus Semien – Actually, Semien has turned to be an okay trade for the Mets. Psyche! It’s as awful as everyone thought it was when they acquired Semien like a surrogate.

Nick Gonzales – We don’t give the Pirates enough credit, but their role players and acquisitions worked out so far: Horwitz, O’Hearn, Gonzales, Mangum, and Lowe. Well, except Ozuna, which was obviously a terrible call when it happened.

Michael Massey – Where the 1st basemen and catchers were lacking this week for hot bats, there’s a shizzton of 2nd basemen.

David Hamilton – Not to summon Mr. Prorater and his Dumb Math, but if he were here, he’d tell you Hamilton might go 4/40.

Noelvi Marte – Was called up by the Reds to make sure the Gatorade bucket at the far end of the bench is never lonely.

Jacob Gonzalez – Gave you my Jacob Gonzalez fantasy. It had the trappings of summer.

Tristan Gray – He is doing very well on the 7-Day Player Rater, but his season-long stats are some of the worst I’ve seen. Approval polls say trust in Gray at all-time low.

Cole Young – Was decent-ish in April, and had a May so bad that he’s lucky he has a solid glove. He’s picked it up recently, which is good as I don’t have all day to wait for Cole Young to become a diamond.

J.P. Crawford – It’s with great regret I say Just Peachy is still hot, and it comes with regret because I want Colt to gallop his ass to the leadoff spot.

Edwin Arroyo – Already gave you an Edwin Arroyo fantasy. It was written while wearing a paper placemat shaped into a hat.

Ezequiel Tovar – Been hot recently (mostly due to one big game), so don’t take this the wrong way, but I had no idea how awful Tovar was hitting. He’s had a generational falloff in the last two years. He went from a neutral .270 hitter to .230. He fell off so quickly projections systems still think he’s a .270 hitter.

Anthony Volpe – It’s way too early to make any proclamations about Volpe, but his walk rate is trending in the right direction. Maybe in six weeks or so we can make a definitive Volpe’s-the-mancipation Proclamation.

Kyle Karros – Thinking about nepo babies with Karros, and I watched Euphoria, and the finale was so awful. It was, “We spliced together all the worst scenes from Tarantino’s movies and sat a toddler in front of it for four decades. That toddler is now Sam Levinson and here’s the Euphoria finale, please enjoy.” Sam Levinson is the showrunner of Euphoria, and I hadn’t put it together he’s Barry Levinson’s son. Remind me to come back in my next life as a nepo baby. Any hoo! Karros has been hot. Not as hot as his dad was from ’95 to 2000.

Jake McCarthy – Actually, like McCarthy a lot, in general. Have for a while. He makes great contact and has speed. Not going to add much power but a 10/25/.280 season is not out of the question.

Jung Hoo Lee – Looking back at his last full KBO year of 23/5/.349, and it’s why it’s hard to take KBO transplants 100% serious. He’s barely a eight-homer, .270 hitter.

Jake Mangum – Interesting that a couple of the Pirates’ new additions who worked are from the Rays. Student becoming the teacher in the class of Getting Value From Nowhere.

Leody Taveras – This guy’s had so many surprisingly solid and surprisingly awful seasons already in his career I forgot he’s only 27. He might be the only person who was benefited by the 2020 season. I imagine he was promoted because they wanted him to play and he wasn’t ready but got service time.

Colton Cowser – It’s truly remarkable how terribly the O’s have developed Cowser. He somehow seems to get progressively worse each year in every way. Any hoo! He’s hot.

Dominic Canzone – One of my most ludicrous preseason sleepers was Canzone, and I once wrote a Josh Rutledge sleeper. Hey, Canzone does hit the ball hard!

Wade Meckler – Also, his platoon partner, Jose Siri, has been hot for the unfortunately named platoon of The Smeckler, which sounds like a Jewish porn star.

Aaron Nola – This is a Streamonator call like the call it makes to a toy store.

Jameson Taillon – This is also a Streamonator call. “Was by your store the other day talking with the most lovely robot. I was wondering if you could put on the phone Tracy? I believe you call her, Speak ‘n Spell.”

Will Vest – Said this the other day, but I am now going to M-Q-M, ” Think what we can surmise from most reliever usage this year is once the de facto closer goes down, there’s no real “This guy has to get saves now.” It’s more of a grab bag.” And that’s me quoting me! There’s also Drew Anderson and Kyle Finnegan.

Yoendrys Gomez – 0.87 ERA in May with a 11.3 K/9, so, yes, maybe Twins saves, but who knows on those because Derek Shelton is doing galaxy brain stuff with his bullpen. “What if I made a closer out of 12 guys?” Derek Shelton asks thoughtfully as he stands in a pile of dog crap.

Clayton Beeter – Maybe he gets saves, but his ratios are atrocious. “Why do you insult me?” That’s the word atrocious hearing itself being used to describe Beeter’s numbers.

Trevor Megill – Uribe crotch-chopped, and Igill for saves.

Alex Lange – It’s actually interesting experiment to see how long a manager takes to understand Erceg is one of the worst closers who have ever attempted to close games. You’d think someone wouldn’t need more than two months of Erceg, but that was the case. This could be Matt Strahm or Daniel Lynch IV too. If you’re having a text-to-speech read this post to you, that’s not Daniel Lynch 42. But I think it’s Lange, due to usage the last two games.

Jose A. Ferrer – Mariners found a special one with Jose A. Ferrer. Whether it’s his stirring rendition of the Doors’ Light My Fire or putting together a chocolate-hazelnut confection with his partner, Rocher, or relieving games. Ferrer has found the right mix this year with his 97 MPH sinker and 87 MPH slider and change. A lefty Holds monster. Jose A. Ferrer sing me, Feliz NaviSAGNOF!

SELL

Bryan Woo – Telling you to sell guys like Spencer Arrighetti doesn’t interest me. I’m not moved by saying to sell Bryce Elder. I won’t sit here and say to sell Foster Griffin, and not just because I’m at a standing desk. I’m saying these guys are too obvious. I try to keep my sells to guys who were either drafted in the top 50 or find themselves somewhere in the top 50 now. So, that brings us to Bryan Woo. I’m not saying boo, I’m saying B. Woo is not pitching as well as he did at any other point in the last two years. He’s settled into this guy who gives bleh strikeouts and excellent command, but not exemplary command like he had in 2024. I can’t stress enough that I’m not saying Woo is terrible and get him off my team immediately. He might even pitch well tonight. He’s just less than who he’s been or who I think people think he is. I would not trade Bryan Woo for a ride in an Uber where the driver is a black bear wearing a cap, but I would go to the Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options.

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65 Comments
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Oddball Herrera
Oddball Herrera
Reply to  Grey
1 hour ago

I hear there is also a pill for that condition

Last edited 1 hour ago by Oddball Herrera
Kneel Before Zod
1 minute ago

Anyone have on their Bingo cards that the Giants would put up 16+ runs twice in a week [crickets sounding].

FireRobManfred
FireRobManfred
33 minutes ago

Apparently the surgeons that worked on Skubal used something called the NanoNeedle which is also what women down at the bar whisper to each other when I walk in.

Norman Ginsberg
Norman Ginsberg
35 minutes ago

12 team FAAB league (no keepers). I own Kumar Rocker. Bid $1for Teng?

Norman Ginsberg
Norman Ginsberg
Reply to  Norman Ginsberg
13 minutes ago

Budget $50. I have $21 remaining. Teng (Houston)

Last edited 6 minutes ago by Norman Ginsberg
Tonygv
Tonygv
39 minutes ago

Woo for Harrison is it fair, also it is a dynasty league.

Kneel Before Zod
42 minutes ago

For the recently departed Chuck Norris…High BB% = Texas Ranger (Walker)

Kneel Before Zod
Reply to  Grey
11 minutes ago

A B.B. King concert

Scoboticus
Scoboticus
Reply to  Kneel Before Zod
2 minutes ago

That’s it. BB King

McClaniac
McClaniac
45 minutes ago

Whattup Grey. Top 2 of : mangum,massey, i.valdez, arroyo, meckler ??? Thanks and happy weekend

Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
1 hour ago

Wade Meckler sounds like a guy Raylan Givens has to find in Justified…

Fred Garvin MP
Reply to  Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
54 minutes ago

I just wish I could upvote this Wade Messer reference twice.

Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Reply to  Fred Garvin MP
51 minutes ago

Hahaha – best show

SteveNZ
1 hour ago

BB Gun.

Also – Ed-Cab *sob*

Last edited 1 hour ago by SteveNZ
Schlittscreek
Schlittscreek
1 hour ago

a guy who would walk 500 miles and who would walk 500 more just to be the man who walked a thousand miles without striking out? it’s gotta be The Proclaimer!

Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Reply to  Grey
1 hour ago

Love that – also that song is called “I’m Gonna Be” . .. I’m Gonna BB?

Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Duda Want to Build a Snowman?
Reply to  Grey
50 minutes ago

The I would walk 500 miles song is called I’m gonna be

Sweatpants Nation
Sweatpants Nation
1 hour ago

Who do you prefer, Goldy or Mead for CI

Sweatpants Nation
Sweatpants Nation
Reply to  Grey
1 hour ago

Thanks

Scoboticus
Scoboticus
1 hour ago

He’s a Dewey Cox (Walk Hard)

Scoboticus
Scoboticus
1 hour ago

He’s a real Buzzkill for the pitchers, refusing to strikeout.

Oddball Herrera
Oddball Herrera
1 hour ago

Almost the entire Twins lineup is constructed like the fantasy manager who picked up a bunch of guys who had an ok week or two in April, then went awol, and returned at the end of the season to find himself in last place

Razzboi
Razzboi
1 hour ago

Walkaholik?
BbgoneK?

John Smokey
John Smokey
2 hours ago

Replacing judge. Jung hoo, goldy, marte or lile?

Scoboticus
Scoboticus
2 hours ago

OK, how about Stroll Model.

TJ81
TJ81
2 hours ago

Drop Rafaela or Bazzana for Cags, Stowers, or Adell? Hold?
Looking for potential power on the wire after losing Judge.

Scoboticus
Scoboticus
2 hours ago

Would you drop Carter Jensen for Keibert Ruiz in an OPS league that penalizes Ks?

Clinton Scates
Clinton Scates
2 hours ago

For the high walk guys – Something like the “Tony Award” or “Mr. Padre” named after one of the best pure contact guys ever – Tony Gwynn.

Don't be a Hader
Don't be a Hader
2 hours ago

Best guess for SBs ROS…McCarthy, Hamilton, or Mangum (feels kinda dirty just typing that name)

Clyde
Clyde
2 hours ago

Read “Jhonny Pareda” as “Jhonny Peralta” like 3 times before I got it right. Briefly panicked that I’d accidentally time-traveled to 2005.

Warren Loegering
Warren Loegering
2 hours ago

More Bees than Ks? Beekeeper?

Scoboticus
Scoboticus
2 hours ago

Spencer Horwitz is a Scab, because he refuses to strike. Or, he could be a Pacifist, for the same reason.

Los locos
Los locos
2 hours ago

Let’s try it again. Should i drop adley or Jackson holiday for christian scott? Also, thoughts of Leiter or Baz ROS?

PugLife
3 hours ago

For NL-Only, Karros could be a nice week+ batty call with 6 in Coors followed by 3 in Bing Bong.

Name for players who have a higher BB% than K%

Kknut-BBuster. of course it’s pronounced, “Nut-Buster” because the Ks are silenced by the walks. Could also go with Bbuster of KknutsK-BusterBaseBurglarWalking Warrior

Last edited 3 hours ago by PugLife
PugLife
Reply to  Grey
3 hours ago

Feel like I’m being trolled(hehe) here, but will explain just in case.

Using the risqué catchphrase because innuendo gets used a lot on the site. I just figured it might work because of this and that both K and BB are used.

Bbuster of Kknuts seems to work better because of the player’s ability to walk more than strikeout.

PugLife
Reply to  Grey
2 hours ago

I here ya. Tried to get too cute and it’s a lot easier to see as the bustin’ balls verses Bustin’ a nut, which is a good thing.

Last edited 2 hours ago by PugLife