Rarely does a fantasy season derive itself from an actual fantasy. An honest-to-goodness, real-life, sleepwalking-in-your-pj’s fantasy. A I-walked-in-on-Marisa-Tomei-and-she-was-like-come-join-me fantasy. Ronald Acuña Jr. aka Tildaddy comes home with Brillo pads you have to use your favorite shirt to clean the dishes aka The Truth is having a fantasy fantasy season. Can’t even remember the last time someone was a top fantasy player and seemed to be trying to accumulate stats. That is an absolute treat. Yesterday, he hit his 40th homer, and now his likely sole goal is to get to 40/40. Who wants to get stats for us, fantasy baseballers? No one usually! They’re all bastards!  But Acuña does! He has 123 runs and 99 RBIs from predominantly the leadoff spot. I’m sorry, I’m going to kiss my computer screen where you reside. He’s averaging 418 feet per homer; Trout and Gallo ‘only’ averaged 419 feet. Speaking of Trout, Acuña or Trout for 2020? On the Player Rater, it’s clearly Tildaddy. At an ADP of 5 this year, he was a steal! If only I owned him in one league…*wavy lines starting a dream sequence* Hey, look, I have Acuña on all of my teams. *turns to mirror* Oh my God, I’m bald! Damn you, O. Henry! *wavy lines* I hate ironic dreams. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mike Soroka – 5 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.60. Mike Soroka rubs Old Spice on his neck, while talking about the WWE. That’s how he keeps the Regression Fairies away.

Austin Riley – 1-for-4 and his 18th homer. I made him a batty call yesterday because I’m lucky as shizz and there really was no process if I’m being honest. Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good, which is also what Lucky Lee always says about his brother, Good.

Aaron Nola – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.75. I mention in the Buy column coming this afternoon how Austin Nola’s been better than Aaron Nola, and I wrote that before this Nola start (okay, technically, I wrote it during this start). Nola is the Big Easy pitcher to face, and I wonder if this is a blip or where he’s headed for his career. My guess is blip, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried and about to start screaming that I ordered the Code Red.

Jean Segura – Left yesterday’s game with hamstring cramps. Solid way to end an already terrible season. Segura hurt himself hustling to 1st base, and hurt McCutchen earlier this year by not hustling. Maybe next year Segura can find a cruising speed and stick with it.

Madison Bumgarner – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.86. With all the Yastrzemski festivities in this series, Bumgarner decided to get in the fun and pitch like a grandfather.

Eduardo Rodriguez – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.53. Ed-Rod feels like he’s going to be difficult to pull the trigger on in 2020, but, when all the terrible pitching in the league is considered, Ed-Rod looks like a savior who’s not taking an L. This message was brought to you by the Church of Scientology. Have you had your personality checked recently?

Brandon Workman – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 1.98 and his 15th save. No joke, I had Workman in this afternoon’s Buy column, but I deleted him because I figure if we’re this late in the season, and you still haven’t picked up Workman, I’m not sure I can convince you now.

Lorenzo Cain – 1-for-3 and his 10th homer, and 2nd homer in three games, which is a hot schmotato sighting, but he also left the game early, due to his bad knee. By the way, now there’s 265 players in the MLB with 10 homers, an easy record.  118 players with 20 homers, another record.  And 52 players with 30 homers, yes, a record. “Grandpop, tell me again about 2019, the year of the home run.” “There was a lot of homers.” “That’s a terrible story.” “It was a terrible season.”

Eric Hosmer – 1-for-4 and his 21st homer, hitting .275. MLB should draw a line that separates Hosmer and everyone who hit fewer homers. If you can’t hit as many homers as Hosmer, you’re cut from the league. A) Because Hosmer and homers anagrams perfectly B) Because Hosmer sucks. C) There’s no C.  Call it the Moe Line, because that’s what you get when you take HRs out of Hosmer. “Sorry, Lorenzo Cain, but you’re a Moe.”

Joey Lucchesi – 4 IP, 3 ER, 4.28.  Streamonator does like his next (last?) start, and I’d roll him out there, unless the Padres say Lucchesi is already sleeping with the fishes.

Anthony Rizzo – 1-for-3 and his 27th homer, as he hit leadoff. HR to the Izzo!  I’m sorry, but didn’t he have a walking boot, like, four days ago? Did he just need to pay his past parking fines? Oh, I know this trick! He wants to pull a Kirk Gibson in the playoffs and hit a dramatic homer and use crutches around the bases.

Craig Kimbrel – 2/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 5.95, as he was activated from the IL. Be interesting to see if the Cubs continue to use him, because, with how he’s throwing this year, I wouldn’t use him in the 4th inning of a blowout.

Cole Hamels – Won’t start Sunday due to shoulder fatigue.  It’s Italian, pronounced fah-tee-gay!

Kolten Wong – Left yesterday’s game with a hamstring injury. Wong’s had a lot of hammy problems. Maybe Wong needs to stop trying to pork everything.

Jack Flaherty – 8 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.96. So excited to draft him next year and have him be terrible in the 1st half again. That can’t happen, though, right? There’s no reason it would. Right? Okay, of course, it will.

Matt Carpenter – 1-for-2 and his 13th homer, hitting .227. Listen, I’m glad Carpenter is able to go out on his own terms in his last year–*intern whispers in my ear* He has a guaranteed-money contract until 2021?!

Domingo German – Accused of domestic abuse and hit the AL list — Administrative Leave? Yes. A Loser? Sure. Asswipe Lamer? That works. Abject Loathsomeness? You’re onto something!

Dellin Betances – Expects to be ready for spring training. Check out the ego on Betances, thinking he can recover from a torn Achilles like he’s a Greek God.

DJ LeMahieu – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 25th homer, and now is hitting a bazillion with RISP, and has 97 RBIs with 510 ABs coming from the leadoff position. This is the biggest career year from a DJ since Darude put out Sandstorm.

Cameron Maybin – 1-for-3 and his 9th homer, hitting .285. Maybin received 221 ABs this year, and did better than most. Whether the Yankees should’ve gave him that many at-bats and not more to Clint Frazier is a question for gingers everywhere to ponder. Clint Frazier (1-for-4, 2 RBIs) homered yesterday, his 12th, which he did in only 216 at-bats. Too bad he will never play full-time in New York. They should just trade him for a middle reliever this offseason and be done with it. Or maybe him, Bradley Zimmer and Domingo Santana can go start their own team, so they can get playing time.

Masahiro Tanaka – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.47, as the Yankees clinched the AL East title, pulling it from the jaws of Angels, which sounds like a dope EDM album. Why are the Angels in New York with eight games to go? Yeah, that’s a good pregunta. Nice schedule this year, MLB!

Andrew Heaney – 5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.10. That’s gonna hurt deep into the offseason. Y tho? — I’m now regressing to a 14-year-old texting. — Y tho? Y tho? Y…*falls to the ground in tears* tho?!

Cavan Biggio – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 15th homer, 2nd homer in three games, and about the fifth mention of him in the last week. He’ll definitely be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but, outside of goofy ESPN leagues, I’m not sure I fully believe he’s available.

Austin Hays – 1-for-2 and his 1st homer, hitting .345. Nice to see the Orioles give Hays some at-bats in September. He’s only five years older than Acuña and the Orioles haven’t been playing for anything for three years, so it sure is awesome Hays is getting at-bats. Maybe next September we can get Mountcastle at-bats.

Kyle Gibson – 1 2/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 4.88. This Opener guy is something! Does he have any history I should know about? First I’m hearing of him. Sounding it out, “Kuy-la Gibbs-on.” Hmm, interesting name.

Nelson Cruz – 2-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 38th and 39th homer. I own him in one league, but it’s for non-selfish reasons I want him to hit 40 homers. I just want Cruz to hit 40 homers from now until the ocean swallows Miami and California and we’re all murdering each other for shelter. So, until 2021.

Miguel Sano – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 31st homer. The Twins moved one home run in front of the Yankees with 289. I’ll be watching this race closely so we can see what number to scream at Manfred when we see him on the street.

Mitch Garver – 2-for-3, 3 runs and his 31st homer. How much would you have bet that Garver would not hit 31 homers this year? $1,000? $5,000? All of your Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons?

Franmil Reyes – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 35th homer. Random Prediction Alert! Franmil’s going to hit 50 homers next year.

Mike Clevinger – 6 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.54. Now that I’m officially over the back issue of Men’s Health regarding Clavinger’s back issue I’m excited that he only threw 120-ish innings this year. Next year he can ramp up to the heavens of 200 IP again!

Yusei Kikuchi – 4 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 5.55. To misquote Lisa Loeb, “Yusei…I only hear what I want to…Well, I want to hear you’re a better pitcher but Yusei ain’t.”

Shed Long – 3-for-5, 1 run, 2 RBIs, hitting .282, and leadoff. Yes, he’s in Witness Protection and his real name is Broadside Barn. No, he won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy column, because:  Shed Long. But he has been crazy hot, hitting near-.400 in the last week.

Joe Musgrove – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.49. I can’t wait until Joe Musgrove is traded off the Pirates and becomes one of the greatest pitchers of the last century.

Starling Marte – Hasn’t played in a week, and neither has Josh Bell, and they don’t seem like they’re on their way back. Why don’t the Pirates just announce they’re done for the year. Have you seen the Pirates organization recently? “We’re going to trade away Gerrit Cole, Charlie Morton, Austin Meadows and Tyler Glasnow, allow a pitcher to assault another pitcher then find out that pitcher sexually assaults children. Argh.” #TalkLikeAPirateDay

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Harley Earl
Harley Earl
3 years ago

Man, you must own Segura on a team or two. Because you clearly share the same frustration with him that I share and I have him on a team.

Something that has bothered me about Segura is that he’s been traded like 8 times. Since 2012, Segura has played for the Angles, Brewers, Diamondbacks, Mariners and Phillies. That’s five teams in eight years.

I’m thinking that management/ownership gets Segura on their team and it doesn’t take all that long to figure out there’s a personality flaw or something here. Nobody wants to hold onto this guy. Wonder why? I don’t think he’s fully committed to anyone but himself, so teams pass him on.

This year I thought Segura was in his best position to succeed since Arizona. And yet, he’s been a major disappointment, especially in that lineup. The only time I used him all season was when Trevor Story was on the DL for three weeks. Segura is basically a backup now. And his trade value is shit.

Fungazi 2.0
Fungazi 2.0
3 years ago

Pro tip: if you drop Kolten for Shed, on the transaction list it will read beside your team “Long Wong”

Fungazi 2.0
Fungazi 2.0
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

Or something else if you’re Felipe Vasquez and picked up Alex Young instead.

Coolwhip
3 years ago

The last 7 days Mancini is .469/.472/.969 4 HR 16 RBIs… and… only 5 runs scored. He literally is the entire O’s offense.

Coolwhip
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

picked him up when Muncy was diagnosed with fracture, started meh but smart move now (good matchups)!

I desperately need Kyle Tucker to play this weekend vs Angels i.e. feast on some bad pitching. plus hopefully yankees sit Gardner some since they locked up division.

Coolwhip
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

yeah how long is Reddick and Marisnick contact, were they each 1-years?

Coolwhip
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

looks like Marisnick signed through this year, then arb. and Reddick has 1 more year left.

Coolwhip
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

if they were smart they’d trade reddick immediately following mini schmotato run with few HRs and let marisnick walk. Then slide in Tucker and Straw

Coolwhip
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

he was super cold in July(.200ish), and mild in August(.240ish) but was flaming hot in April and now in September

Coolwhip
Reply to  Coolwhip
3 years ago

reminds me a lot of J-Up

Coolwhip
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

haha i mean prime J-Up

here comes the pizza
here comes the pizza
3 years ago

What’s up Grey

Trying to preserve my lead and take home the title. I’m up in ERA 3.35 to 3.85. He’s got about 8 starters still to go, 5 of them on Saturday. I like Anibals matchup tonight but obviously worried about my ERA. You cool with sitting him there? Worst case I still have Lynn to go Sunday and 1 move left.

Big Dog
Big Dog
3 years ago

What do you think about starting Minor tonight at Oakland? He has been very good for most of the year but has been up and down lately. Plus, he just got pummeled by Oakland last weekend and has terrible numbers against them for the year.

Final weekend for the championship so I know I am overthinking everything…

By the way prayer circle that Trea Turner steals a few bases this weekend. You’d think he would be running wild now that they are in a 3 way dogfight for a wild card spot. I haven’t seen the games but is Eaton swing at the first pitch all the time? Just doesn’t make sense.

Schoolboy P
Schoolboy P
3 years ago

#TalkLikeAPirateDay! That rant made my Friday.

In first place in my roto league by 5 points and up 11-1 in my H2H in the championship.

Wish me luck these last 10 days!

chicitysox23
chicitysox23
3 years ago

Looking like a 3rd place finish in my dynasty h2h league. Injuries hurt me in the playoffs, and Eugenio Suarez went off against me. Felt like I had the roster to win it all. Here is where the roster finished up

C James McCann
1B Pete Alonso (Keeper)
2B Yoan Moncada (Keeper)
3B Manny Machado
SS Franciso Lindor(Keeper)
OF Bryce Harper
OF Franmil Reyes
OF Christian Yellich
UTIL Matt Olson(Keeper)
UTIL Anthony Rendon
UTIL Jonathan Villar(Keeper)
SP Scherzer
SP Darvish
SP Paxton(Keeper)
SP Wheeler
SP Giolito (Keeper)
SP Syndergaard
SP Hendricks

Feel good about the guys I can bring back next year. Thanks for the advice through this season.

chicitysox23
chicitysox23
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

Keeper rules are a little complex. Have to be drafted after the first 6 rounds, or come up through our minor league system. Once you keep them, they can be kept for 4 seasons. Scherzer, Wheeler, Thor are all out of options for me.

chicitysox23
chicitysox23
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

Have to fill a keeper slot. If I had better I would sub in for him. Of the guys that can be kept its him or McCann and I’m not rolling over a catcher. Ive followed your strategy on catchers and its worked out well.

chicitysox23
chicitysox23
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

My Minor league system is
Vlad Jr
Mackenzie Gore
Bibby Witt Jr
Carter Kieboom
Oneil Cruz
Travis Swaggerty
Josiah Gray

Need better from Vlad Jr next year

Steve
Steve
3 years ago

Can you please rank in order or preference replacements for Segura:

Hampson
K Tucker
Beni
Edman
Mercado
Gardner

Thanks

lwomack58
lwomack58
3 years ago

In need of streamer who do you like best?

Plesac vs Phil
Woodruff vs Pit
Dobnak vs KC
Smyly @CLe
M. Perez vs K

Slim pickings.
Thanks

waffles
waffles
3 years ago

haha the LeMahieu blurb. good work all year!

for sunday who do you like from the below. QS league and ratio’s are super close. pick a #1 and #2?
Mikolas (@CHC)
Means (SEA)
Eovaldi (@TB)
M Perez (KC)
Plutko (PHI)
R Lopez (@DET)
Voth (@MIA)

Chebe
Chebe
3 years ago

Got yelich at 8 in my draft what a steal i think acuna went after that lol

Better stream for the weekend ray at sanding or plutko at home vs phillies?

Are we starting ryu at home vs colorado?

Chebe
Chebe
Reply to  Chebe
3 years ago

Ray at san Diego *

Russ
Russ
3 years ago

What’s up Grey,
Alright here we go, final weekend for the championship.
12 Team H2H Categories Ws & QS
I have 3 wins and 3 Qs currently and he has 1 win and 2 Qs, we both have 2 Ls and I am ahead in ratios but down 25-41 in Ks.
Both my opponent and I have 1 move left for the week. He currently has 3 starts left for the week (Kelly, Berriois, Cueto) and I currently have 5 starts left (Folty, Anibal, Paxton, Plutko, Means)
The hitting stats are pretty even at the moment. I was wondering if I should hold off on using my last move and see how the weekend plays out and use it Saturday or Sunday for a hitter with good match-ups or just roll with my current hitters and use the move now to pick up the best available SP (Desclafani) to ensure my opponent doesn’t get him?

Thanks!

Russ
Russ
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

Alright sounds good, I’ll come back around after tonight and see what you think

YC
YC
3 years ago

Hey Grey- curious to know your thoughts on the annual end of year debate of “given what just happened, is pitching/hitting more valuable next year”. Like 5 years ago when the lowest ERA team was sub 3.0 the argument was “batting is more valuable now as there’s a scarcity of power bats”. Now the reverse is happening and I hear in my keeper league “pitchers are more valuable as the lowest ERA team is 3.6”. I’ve always felt that the area of scarcity gets devalued….and I know the counter-argument is “yea but now there’s a 100 guys that can hit 40 homers so you should put your limited resources into pitching.” I see the opposite. I think next year you need all the hitting you can get to keep up and worry about pitching on the waiver wire if need be.

CMUTIMMAH
CMUTIMMAH
Reply to  YC
3 years ago

Depends what your draft philosophy is going in for sure.. and draft position also.

The difference with bats and pitching tho is a hitter isn’t likely to stray too far from his regression line just due to the larger sample size he creates. Where a pitcher’s velocity can change year to year, sometimes drastically, changing his outcome. So while bats are usually the safer option, I could see someone focus on pitching categories, and then focus on being middle of the pack hitting. This strategy would have worked this year if you jumped on the rookie wave and caught a Yordan/hiura/late round Ketel Marte, kind of bandwagon.

The other way to look at it is – Everyone is going to have bad pitching, and everyone is probably going to have good hitting, so being a better hitting team seems tougher than being a middle of the road pitching team.

I will always live and die by loading up my lineup and then focusing on my rotation with guys that have upside on the mound.

Sean
Sean
3 years ago

With Marco Gonzales’ start pushed back to Monday, I’m in need of a potential streamer or 2. Can you rank the top 3 streamers from this list?

Eric Lauer vs ARI $11.8
Chase Anderson vs PIT $4.9
Tyler Alexander vs CWS $1.8
Garret Richards vs ARI $15.0
Austin Voth @MIA $8.5
Martin Perez vs KC $5.5

Also who’s a better steals candidate this weekend Hampson, Bader, or Berti?

Sean
Sean
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

thanks, voth got snagged as I was planning out my weekend. Would you start Chase Anderson today, based on my current situation of:

Stat – Me – Opp
Wins – 2 – 3
Ks – 48 – 38
ERA – 1.17 – 2.01
WHIP – 0.91 – 0.92
QS – 5 – 3
S+H – 2 – 8

He has Kershaw going today, with 3 potential streamers adds this weekend and 6 relievers each day.

I have Gallen, Yarbrough, and Woodruff all lined up to start this weekend. I have 3 adds left and 3 relievers going each day.

All hitting cats are close and feel like i have more control over pitching, sorry for the longness of the question. I’m assuming i should let him play catchup, instead of taking the chance of a blowup from chase before i need to, right?

Sean
Sean
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

thanks again

Clubber
Clubber
3 years ago

Okay Greystroke,Lord of the OPS- In my year long league, I’m trying to hold on to a 40 point lead, down from 400 three weeks ago (40 points is basically two grand slams). What a helpless feeling it is, sorta like hoping your penny stock with get bought out by Facebook before Christmas!. Anyway, my one question is: should I grab C Biggio (6 games next week) OR stick with A Albies (5 games next week?) Looking forward to your Buy Sell today!

Clubber
Clubber
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

Okay Greyson- Biggio…THANK YOU! Your pitching got me here! Bieber,E Rod, Wheeler, Glasnow, German, Bailey…You can tell that my pitching was painted with Grey strokes!

CMUTIMMAH
CMUTIMMAH
3 years ago

I turn the Razzball on I turn the Razzball up
And Grey Albright is singing the Yusei song
Homers at home and even more when away
Doesn’t matter if it’s a night game or even in the day

….

and Yusei made me be naive
or maybe I hit the bong
I thought “Hey, I could believe, I could believe”
Oh but now I know that I was wrong
cuz I miss cued
yeahhhh I miss cued

Great, now every time I see this guy’s name in the probably starters list I’ll get a librarian crush hard on and a song that never leaves my head.

whitt23
whitt23
3 years ago

Anyone have an particular advice on how to handle pitching next week for 12 team roto? Positions 2-6 are all within 2 points one one another and fluctuating by the minute each night. I am nervous about pitchers just getting shut down without notice once I set my lineup Monday. Next week is going to be awful….

Ben
Ben
3 years ago

Already thinking about keepers for next year. I can keep 7 players in my 5×5, 10-team OBP league. 4 OF slots, 1 IF, 1 C, 10 P.

Good news: embarassment of riches–
– Will Smith $1 (2 more years of team control)
– Ozzie Albies $2 (1 more year of team control)
– Rafael Devers $1 (2 more years of team control)
– Bo Bichette $6 (2 more years of team control)
– Keston Hiura $1 (2 more years of team control)
– Juan Soto $4 (1 more year of team control)
– Matt Chapman $1 (1 more year of team control)
– Ketel Marte $1 (2 more years of team control)
– Jose Ramirez $11 (2 more years of team control)
– Jack Flaherty $4 (1 more year of team control)

Bad news, embarrassment of riches leads to decision paralysis.

Devers, Soto, Marte are the easiest no-brainers, but I’m genuinely torn on the others. Right now, I’m thinking Albies, Ramirez, Chapman, and Flaherty, but it’s hard to pass up some high-ceiling MIs with two years left.

Coolwhip
Reply to  Ben
3 years ago

Devers, Soto, Hiura, Chapman, Marte, Flaherty, JoRam for me.

Zeus
Zeus
3 years ago

Wouldn’t the regression faeries like a sport where oiled up muscle men in their underwear rub each other?

Mitch Garver has 31 HRs in basically half a season. How the F did this happen. He sounds like the name I would give if I had to live a life on the run for a crime I didn’t commit while helping out sexy ladies every week in a new dusty town.

Do we have a term for the nervous feeling you get when you check the standings this late in the year? When you are in a close race it is really rough.

Or the term when two of your valuable pitchers get suspended down the stretch for being a pedo and a beater?

CMUTIMMAH
CMUTIMMAH
Reply to  Zeus
3 years ago

I think the second one is definitely “Pitchers with too much touch”

And Mitch Garver is definitely the name of a fictitious politician on the show Scandal, they just haven’t introduced the character yet.

LennyDykstraIsJustMisunderstood
LennyDykstraIsJustMisunderstood
3 years ago

nola had 2.42 ERA in his 11 starts before switching to starts every fifth day. He has a 4.84 ERA in six starts since and a 6.14 ERA . he llooks tired leaving ball up in the zone

kaplar has to go pitching to freddy freeman with 1b open in tie game. he should have loaded them up. they pitched around him the entire series then go after him when nola is struggling and the phillie s just tied the game. kaplar is mind boggling.

LennyDykstraIsJustMisunderstood
LennyDykstraIsJustMisunderstood
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

You don’t think the dead arm coincides with switching to 4 days rest?

LennyDykstraIsJustMisunderstood
LennyDykstraIsJustMisunderstood
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

Agreed Nola should be able to handle an Ace needs to step up.

Huffin Gas
Huffin Gas
Reply to  LennyDykstraIsJustMisunderstood
3 years ago

I guess Kaplar’s daily back-to-back-to-back-to-back arm wrestling tournaments before every game are finally catching up to Nola. Kap’s routine doesn’t seem healthy….

LennyDykstraIsJustMisunderstood
LennyDykstraIsJustMisunderstood
Reply to  Huffin Gas
3 years ago

I will miss Coach Moonbeam ‘s news conferences when he goes. I heard they are going to bring in Madden

Coolwhip
Reply to  LennyDykstraIsJustMisunderstood
3 years ago

yep, sounds a lot like arm fatigue (or… yikes… something more)

Donkey Teeth
Admin
3 years ago

I did an industry mock draft last December with Scott White and the CBS crew. I took Acuna at pick 5 overall. They really tore into me on their podcast…Acuna’s not going to steal they said. How could you take him over Arenado they said. What kind of name is Donkey Teeth they said.

Coolwhip
Reply to  Donkey Teeth
3 years ago

who’s laughing now, muwahahaha. you should send them a postcard :)

Russ
Russ
Reply to  Donkey Teeth
3 years ago

Just went back and listened to it. Man they were flaming you hard DT. They sound so dumb now, love it lol

Huffin Gas
Huffin Gas
Reply to  Donkey Teeth
3 years ago

And I’m sure they’ll have you back on in the coming days to tell you how right you were, huh?

LennyDykstraIsJustMisunderstood
LennyDykstraIsJustMisunderstood
Reply to  Donkey Teeth
3 years ago

Scott White sux……..what does donkey teeth mean anyway?

Doc Samson
Doc Samson
3 years ago

Whoever is making executive decisions for The Pirates would eat a pre-made, frozen prime rib dinner purchased at a gas station.

Russ
Russ
Reply to  Doc Samson
3 years ago

You already used this joke on Wednesday

Ty Inez
Ty Inez
3 years ago

Darude! Who knew that eventually Sandstorm would end up being played in every college football stadium from here to Miami. Thanks to all the X I took when the song came out I can’t remember my own name anymore

Donkey Teeth
Admin
Reply to  Ty Inez
3 years ago

Take some more, it’ll probably come back to you

CMUTIMMAH
CMUTIMMAH
Reply to  Donkey Teeth
3 years ago

Darude was being played in college stadiums while you were taking X in the club back in 2001…

I was in college then, can confirm.

Chebe
Chebe
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

Dinner with Darude and the Miz?

Ty Inez
Ty Inez
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

Whaaaat noway?!! thats rad!!

Norman Ginsberg
Norman Ginsberg
3 years ago

With only 3 days (or at most 10 days) left in season, I’ll need to replace Wong or Bichette in every league.
– League-1) Lux or Shed Long?
– (League-2,3,4) Gardner, Lux, or Shed Long

Thanks.

Donkey Teeth
Admin
Reply to  Norman Ginsberg
3 years ago

I’d go with Shed across the board. Lux hasn’t light the world on fire, Gardner should get some extra rest and Shed is hot.

Norman Ginsberg
Norman Ginsberg
Reply to  Donkey Teeth
3 years ago

Thanks. That was my guess but I wanted another input before acting.

Donkey Teeth
Admin
Reply to  Norman Ginsberg
3 years ago

No problem, good luck

galica
galica
3 years ago

Grey!!!

Really great report!

a. Sorry, late to the party. I had to:

1. Take the dog out for a walk (numbers 1 and 2) plus exercise. Our daughter only takes him out to pee and poop. Try to tell her it’s wrong but she just tells me that I read that on the Internet and she won’t believe it until she sees it by herself first hand. Nothing I read or know matters, only what she’s been able to do or see on her Instagram account. Please shoot me.
2. Make food for the dog ’cause he doesn’t like the canned dog food my wife bought.
3. Went to the fish market and bought fresh fish. Went to the supermarket to buy a mango and a pomegranate – both fruit I know our daughter likes – got home and found our daughter doesn’t have bread for breakfast so had to go and buy that too.
4. Scaled and cleaned the fish and laid it out nicely in tupperware with 10 sardines in each row between a paper towel sheet.
5. Had breakfast.
6. My wife came home from work and asks why are you just now eating breakfast and I explained 1-4 above.

b. Stupid Rizzo was on my bench that’s the bad news. The good news is I almost dropped him when I heard the news of the ankle sprain!!! WTF!! He went from wearing a boot to playing! No one who wore a boot EVER progressed from boot to cleat that fast. Three days? My UPS 1-paged parcel travelled from Khartoum to San Francisco in 7 days (I only paid 80$ to send it) though any parcel that goes Khartoum – London – Cairo – Chicago is gonna get a thorough goosing from NSA and company the minute it arrives stateside and that’s in 2008, when we weren’t so clandestine.

c. Abbott and Costello quote of the day for September 20

Lost in a Harem, 1944

Duke York (Jailer and clerk): What’s your name?

Costello (Harvey Garvey): Harvey D. Garvey.

Duke York (Jailer and clerk): Where born?

Costello (Harvey Garvey): Under a sink.

Duke York (Jailer and clerk): How do you know?

Costello (Harvey Garvey): I heard the water runnin’.

d. Have a nice weekend.

Cheers,
Ante

LennyDykstraIsJustMisunderstood
LennyDykstraIsJustMisunderstood
Reply to  galica
3 years ago

lol kids will drive you crazy……..my dog willl eat anything whether you wnat her too or not squirrel and a sigde of gopher cracass are her favorite

j-money
j-money
3 years ago

Whatup Grey & DT,

Looking for all ratios and QS’ in this K/9 championship, who is the odd man out?

Sanchez @MIA
Cease @ DET
Kelly @ SD
Manea vs TEX

Thanks!

Donkey Teeth
Admin
Reply to  j-money
3 years ago

Yo J-Money,

It’s between Cease and Kelly for me. I think I’d bench Cease.

Good luck!

CMUTIMMAH
CMUTIMMAH
Reply to  Donkey Teeth
3 years ago

Cease is the clear odd man out. I’ve tried to play the “good matchup” game with Cease, it doesn’t work. He’s just not that good… YET. I think he’s still a good pitcher in a couple years.

j-money
j-money
Reply to  Grey
3 years ago

Thank you fellas!

TarmanGotHim
TarmanGotHim
3 years ago

Pick 2 for Sunday

Roark Vs TEX
Voth Va MIA
Sheffield Vs BAL
Means Vs SEA

Donkey Teeth
Admin
Reply to  TarmanGotHim
3 years ago

Roark and Voth (@MIA) for me

muskysmell
muskysmell
3 years ago

I’m already thinking of keepers for next year… :)

Who would you rather keep next yr:

Kyle Hendricks ($6)
or
Eduardo Rodriguez ($9)

Wallpaper Paterson
Wallpaper Paterson
Reply to  muskysmell
3 years ago

Hendricks

Donkey Teeth
Admin
Reply to  muskysmell
3 years ago

Agree with MP but don’t love either

Donkey Teeth
Admin
Reply to  Donkey Teeth
3 years ago

*WP

CMUTIMMAH
CMUTIMMAH
Reply to  Donkey Teeth
3 years ago

When you have two player rocking fringe leather jackets that will lead you to Middletown, ERA, you go with the cheaper option.