Cody Anderson took a perfect game into the 7th inning yesterday and ended up with a line of 8 IP, 1 ER, 2 baserunners, 2 Ks, and his ERA is at 0.57 thru two starts. The Indians staff just keeps getting sexier. Now their rotation is Cody, Corey, Danny, Trevor and Carlos. Sounds like a boy band, K-Nudo. Only Cody doesn’t strike out as many — he’s the sensitive one. Anderson has an interesting backstory. He’s from Idaho, and he signed with the Tribe out of a junior college for $250,000. Imagine that. One day, Anderson’s asking ma if they have to eat potatoes yet again for dinner and saying a lot of “Aw, geez,” then he signs for a quarter of a million dollars, which is more than the state economy of Idaho. Suddenly, he was able to purchase the state of Idaho and all its trout. (I have no idea if they have trout there, but Guy Fieri seems to stop at a Diner and/or Drive-In and/or Dive at least once a week in Idaho for trout.) “Aw, geez, ma, I have to pay to pave highways now? Money is evil!” As for fantasy, Anderson’s not quite as big city-ish. He has very few Ks thru two games, but he does throw hard-ish (93 MPH fastball) with a decent slider, and he also has decent control. His minor league numbers portend a mid-rotation guy at best and he’s not at his best yet, so there’s still room to grow, but I’d let him grow on someone else’s team in mixed leagues. If you wanna check the Stream-o-Nator on him, go for it, but outside of AL-Only leagues, I wouldn’t own him yet. Just as I wouldn’t eat trout from Idaho. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Yan Gomes – 3-for-5, 2 runs and his 3rd homer, just a triple short of the cycle. In a parallel universe, there’s a Jon Gomes that ate a triple cheeseburger while cycling. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.
Michael Brantley – 3-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 9th steal. I like to call 2015 Michael Brantley by his other name, 2016 A.J. Pollock.
Jason Kipnis – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 1 RBI, hitting .348. Well, la di freakin’ da!
Grady Sizemore – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer, as he steals Joey Butler’s spot in the order. Is it a spot he’s stealing from Butler? Maybe it’s his dinner bell. Since Grady’s taking control of his destiny, perhaps we should call him Carpediem-more. That’s not clunky at all! Oh, and no I wouldn’t pick up Sizemore outside of AL-Only leagues.
Jake Odorizzi – Set to start rehab on Wednesday. Oh, my God, stop updating us, Odorizzi! We get it, you’re going on rehab! What are you, OCDorizzi with the updates?
Nate Karns – 6 IP, 2 ER, 11 baserunners, 7 Ks. I’m not sure if Karns will ever get past being a streamer for me. Just call him the Stream-o-Karnator.
Matt Moore – Will return to the rotation on Thursday. Well, of course, Thursday’s national Return To Baseball Day.
Dustin Pedroia – Could ramp up baseball activities this week. Hopes to spit sunflower seeds by Thursday and scratch himself by Saturday.
Clay Buchholz – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA down to 3.48. It’s now time for absolutely no one’s favorite game! What is Buchholz’s ERA since I told you to buy him? 2.32 ERA in 69 2/3 IP. Not too shabby.
Hanley Ramirez – Shooting to return on Thursday. For some reason, I’m reminded of Don Knotts in The Shakiest Gun in the West.
Alejandro De Aza – 3-for-4. Since Hanley’s three cards short of a full hand and no one else is really doing much of anything recently in BoSoxLand — I’m looking at you, Brock Holt (1-for-3, 1 RBI) — I grabbed De Aza in two leagues, assuming since he’s hitting, he will be playing. That’s a scientific theorem discovered by Billy Martin over a fifth of moonshine in Mantle’s basement as Scooter went on a run for smokes. Fun fact! Scooter always had a spot in the lineup on those Yankees teams because he was the designated driver to the game.
Devon Travis – 2-for-3, 1 run as he bats eighth. You might remember the salad days of owning Devon when he was batting at the top of the order and he was voted into Cooperstown by fantasy owners on the merits of his April. Don’t think we see Travis batting at the top of the order again without an injury.
Eric Hosmer – Out until at least Thursday with a sprained ring finger. He suffered the sprain when he pointed to where he wanted the barber to start his faux-hawk.
Joe Blanton – 2 2/3 IP, 5 ER. Now that that has happened, I want you to listen to this week’s podcast wearing your Hindsight Glasses.
Salvador Perez – 1-for-4 and his 13th homer, and 2nd in as many games. I swear to you, when I saw he homered in back-to-back games I Googled to see if it was Grandmother’s Day.
Chris Carter – 1-for-4 and his 14th homer. When the Astros brought up Jon Singleton (1-for-2, 2 runs), I worried the Astros’ ABs just got tighter than a Chippendales show, and, speaking of working for dollars, Gattis didn’t play yesterday.
Jose Altuve – 1-for-3 and his 7th homer, and 2nd homer in three games. Way to step it up, Altuve, and I don’t mean reaching for the cereal.
Lance McCullers – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA down to 2.19. Could I put McCullers in my top 20 starters overall next year? Doesn’t sound as crazy to me as you might think.
Josh Hamilton – When he’s activated today, he could play center field, because the Rangers, as an organization, hate Leonys. I predict Leonys will be moved by the end of this coming winter (actual winter, not Game of Thrones winter) and Leonys will break out on his new club next year.
Mitch Moreland – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 11th and 12th homers, hitting .300. Not to deflate your Snoopy balloon, but Moreland’s been better than Brandon Belt, Lucas Duda and Brandon Moss. What’s that fuss? Everyone thought Moreland was at the back of the corner infidel bus.
Joey Gallo – 1-for-5, 3 RBIs, hitting .218. Member when he was a thing? Yeah, me neither.
Shin-Soo Choo – 3-for-5, 2 runs and his 9th homer, hitting .232. Damn, when did Shin-Soo Choo become the onomatopoeia for allergic to getting hits?
Adrian Beltre – 3-for-5, 2 runs. I had a bet with myself that Beltre retired in March. Looks like I’m wrong again…Or is that right?
Wandy Rodriguez – 5 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners, 7 Ks. If you were to put the Red Sox and Rangers rotations together, you’d have three pitchers. And two are closers.
Dylan Bundy – Could be done for the season. His problem is calcification that is built up in his right shoulder that’s causing soreness. It happens when you eat too many Flintstone vitamins.
Mike Pelfrey – 2 IP, 8 ER vs. Mike Leake 4 IP, 7 ER. This was the final stop on the Drop the Mike Tour.
Brian Dozier – 1-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 16th homer, hitting .266. I haven’t watched a Twins game all year because, well, Twins, but for those who have seen one, do the Twins announcers still consider Joe Mauer (1-for-5, .259) their star?
Trevor Plouffe – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 1 RBI. Not a bad batty call for moi yesterday. Fun fact! “Moi” is French for “an American who only knows one French word.”
Billy Hamilton – 2-for-4, 3 runs and 4 steals (40 on the year). Another Billy that has 40 on the year is Billy Dee Williams.
Eugenio Suarez – 3-for-5, 1 run, 3 RBIs and his 2nd and 3rd steals. I’m such a rosterbator, but I was still caught with my pants down yesterday. I totally forget to drop Danny Espinosa, who was off yesterday, and grab Suarez.
Tucker Barnhart – 4-for-5, 1 run, 2 RBI, hitting .308. But what you really have to love is Tucker’s stories of misogyny.
Jay Bruce – 2-for-4, 1 run, 2 RBIs. Have I mentioned yet that everyone on the Reds did something yesterday, except Todd Frazier (1-for-5, 1 RBI). I guess he can have one day a year off.
Giancarlo Stanton – No news, I just wanted to say I missed him. Kidding, I wanted to share a video of a fan that stopped shaving when Jose Fernandez went down. Now he’s wearing a Giancarlo sleeve for mi novio’s injury. Can we get Crazy Marlins Fan to not clip his nails until OZUNA hits a homer?
Jacoby Ellsbury – Started a rehab assignment and could return by the end of the week, i.e., D’Ellsburied has one hand out of the dirt.
Mike Trout – 1-for-3 and a slam (20) and legs (9). Hey, is Trout from Idaho?
C.J. Cron – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer in a rare start. Feh! Send him back to the minors, am I right, Sciosciapath?
C.J. Wilson – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA down to 3.78. Elias Sports Bureau said if this game took place in a Carl’s Jr. it would’ve beaten all C.J. records ever compiled.
Mike Bolsinger – 4 IP, 0 ER, but left yesterday’s game with a flu. A cap full of Robitussin and one more inning for the win would’ve been that hard?
Andre Ethier – 3-for-5, 2 runs and his 10th homer. Is it even close to who’s been more valuable between Ethier and Kemp? Rhetorical!
Yasmani Grandal – 2-for-3 and his 11th homer. Ron Popeil’ing my catcher spot this year has been the best decision of my life. Marriage is a close second, Cougs.
Joc Pederson – 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 20th homer. Someone mentioned yesterday that Pederson has really cooled off recently. Yeah, how dare he not hit multiple homers a week every week. The nerve!
Nick Ahmed – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and a slam (5) and legs (4). Did you know Nick Ahmed is Homer Simpson’s doctor’s name when translated for Middle Eastern countries?
Yasmany Tomas – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .314. That pi’s not gonna last long with Tomas.
Paul Goldschmidt – 2-for-4, 1 run, 2 RBIs and two steals (14, 15). Is there seriously anything he can’t do? Not to ruminate, but to answer.
David Peralta – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th steal. Ender’s returning soon, but nothing wrong with a short-term hot schmotato.
Patrick Corbin – Diamondbacks plan on him returning to the rotation on July 7th or 8th. He said he’s very excited to pitch again in front of the Southwestern-Americans. Geez, so P.C.
Josh Reddick – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer. Seems whenever Reddick does something Burns (0-for-4) and Semien (1-for-4) don’t, which is totally odd.
Billy Butler – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer. Perhaps seeing Reddick do something helped Butler feel less insecure about his blimpotence.
Ike Davis – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Damn, Billy Beane does it again! Which is said after every trade or signing Beane does, but not six months after the signing or trade doesn’t work.
Kendall Graveman – 7 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks vs. the Rockies. It’s a Graveman smash!
Charlie Blackmon – 1-for-5 and his 10th homer. This was the first time a Blackmon had played in Oakland since Coco Crisp got hurt. Kidding, Semien’s black, which seems to go against common sense.
Cesar Hernandez – 2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 7th steal, and 4th in two days (3 games). Sky texted me yesterday and said he’s writing in Cesar Hernandez for the All-Star Game. If you need SAGNOF, I could see grabbing him. Can’t be much worse than, say, Danny Espinosa.
Jimmy Nelson – 5 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.48. Why did he pitch so poorly vs. the Phils? Because he hates our fantasy teams. It’s mutual, Nelson, my team hates you too.
Jonathan Lucroy – 4-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, hitting .235. As you’ve might’ve heard me recount already, someone in our Tout Wars league drafted Lucroy in the 2nd round. I got a new one for you! Same guy bid $96 out of $100 of FAAB money on Kyle Schwarber, the Sunday he was demoted BACK to the minors.
Gerardo Parra – 2-for-4, 1 run, hitting .294. I recently dropped Parra in the league where I owned him because he wasn’t giving enough power and speed, but maybe you’re not as greedy as me, and Parra does have a hit in nine of his last ten games.
Khris Davis – Will start his rehab on Wednesday and I’ve already stashed him in three leagues. I don’t believe his first few months are an indication of his talent level. For a guy who could hit 17 HRs in the 2nd half, you could do worse with a stash. Cutting your ‘stache would be worse like Dopey Mattingly.
Wily Peralta – He threw a bullpen session and the Brewers pitching coach hit a home run, so Wily appears ahead of schedule.
