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Contenders Shop At Pretenders Like A Back-To-School Sale

September 3, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 246 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”288085″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Buy Sell Hold Week 23″]

Real baseball is weird.  Real sportswriters are even weirder.  From Sportsnet.ca, “Donaldson trade marks abrupt split from Blue Jays after promising start.”  Abrupt?  Maybe I’m just heartless, but why would the Blue Jays be salty about getting rid of Josh Donaldson?  If he would’ve stayed with the club, he could’ve opted into a $18 million contract and been back next year in Toronto insanely overpaid and blocking Vladimir Guerrero Jr.  Then, from Sportsnet.ca, “But trading the star third baseman and cash to the Cleveland Indians, who visit Toronto next week, of all places?  Even the New York Yankees would have been a more palatable destination.”  I’m sorry, what?  Why are the Indians worse than the Yankees?  Because Edwin is there?  Because the Jays’ GM used to be in Cleveland?  Is this just bad writing?  Or is real baseball just odd.  I seriously have no idea.  Elsewhere, other sportswriters were talking about what a great move this was.  No wonder people come here and get floored when I say something about a guy like Josh Donaldson being overrated.  They’re being lied to everywhere else.  This was not a great move by the Indians.  Donaldson can’t stay healthy and has no place to play.  Maybe he can give them a solid at-bat off the bench, but Curtis Granderson might’ve been able to do that too.  Don’t worry, will get to him and all the other September roster news.  As they say at gang initiation, after the jump.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Buy Tyler White As He’s Breaking Better Than Skyler White

August 31, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 253 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”288085″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Buy Sell Hold Week 23″]

You remember in Austin Powers when he gets his golf cart stuck in the tunnel and tries to make a u-turn and just goes back and forth unable to turn.  That’s how I feel going between Tyler White and Tyler O’Neill.  “Tyler O’Neill just homered…”  *backs up golf cart*  “Tyler White just homered…” *reverses golf cart*  “O’Neill now!”  *tries to turn wheel*  “White does it again!”  *gets out of golf cart and tries to move it manually, but have overestimated strength*  “O’Neill with a round tripper!”  *sighs, gets back in golf cart and checks Facebook menchies, overcome with helplessness of decisions*  I do not know which Tyler I would go with anymore.  Every day this week it has switched, sometimes it’s switched in the same day.  Tyler White is top four slugging percentage in the majors leagues when sorting by 100 plate appearances, but just as soon as you say that Tyler O’Neill will go and do something.  White is likely in a platoon, but when Ozuna returns, O’Neill will have same problems.  I’d own both, but White is my favorite…*sees O’Neill hit a homer, reverses golf cart*  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Rock The Voit

August 31, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 139 Comments

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Been extremely hesitant about mentioning Luke Voit (2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer), because I really don’t think much of him.  He had a few good games that were amplified to 11 because of New York.  So crazy to me that a guy like Voit is amplified to 11, mean’s while, Miguel Andujar has a huge rookie year and it’s crickets.  Racist crickets, prolly.  Throwing shade like a lamp!  Voit will be in this afternoon’s buy column, but it’s going to be begrudgingly.  He feels like he’s a hot streak from Matt Adams-type that will disappear in a few games.  What’s Voit’s body type?  I’m trying to fit a once-round peg into a recently-skinny hole.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

C. Yelich Greets Reds With An Anagram

August 30, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 233 Comments

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Yesterday, Christian Yelich hit for the cycle, going 6-for-6, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 26th homer, hitting .319.  Yelich has been sexier than that random porn that was released of him.  Speaking of porn (always a great intro to a sentence), you know you have a cougar problem when…True story, I woke up yesterday morning and Googled to see if there ever was a movie made called, Call Me By Your Ma’am with Kimothee ChalaMILF.  That feels like too much information, but I trust you with everything, except any identifying details about me in real life.  Any hoo!  Yelich!  Are you kidding me?  Keyword is kidding, because he looks like he’s 12.  Yo, you super pre-teen?  You in Stranger Things?  We’re at the point now when I’m starting to think about 2019, and Yelich, well, is there any way he’s not top 20?  Yelich or Springer?  Gotta be Yelich, right?  Yelich or Bregman?  Okay, tough call, but damn close.  He’s definitely better than Kimothee ChalaMILF!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Nola And Scherzer And Then It Got Worser

August 29, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 185 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”285346″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 22″]

Yesterday’s Nationals/Phils game tested my ulcer and said, “Mmm, acidic.” Starting off the calamity, Pat Neshek went 1/3 IP, 2 ER, and the blown save, ERA at 2.08.  Okay, if you’re a closer, you have to get the job done, but — and this is a J. Lo-sized but — why the eff can’t Kapler let him start an inning in a one-run game?  He let Tommy Hunter walk the lead-off man, then Neshek came in to allow a blast to Anthony Rendon (3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 17th homer).  Up next in the closerousel is…Hector Neris!  Kapler’s already ruined him once, so that gives you an idea of how long it takes for the Phillies’ closerousel to spin, about four months.  Then, Justin Miller came on to close the game for the Nationals.  But oh no, we will nearly blow!  Miller went 1/3 IP, 1 ER and was promptly pulled for…wait for it…oh, this is good…Greg Holland!  Who entered the game with a 6.09 ERA and has been so bad, he got chased out of St. Louie.  Yo, are Davey Martinez and Gabe Kapler running a lemonade stand?  Because I’m getting a real sour face.  In Washington, it’s likely Koda Glover or Ryan Madson’s turn next, but Holland’s got two lips, so he’s as good as anyone.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Assuming Urias Is Good For 2018 Makes You Or I An Ass

August 28, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 246 Comments

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The Padres began yesterday by lifting their brown, monk robe they purchased from the Dan Brown collection and showed their first twig of the prospect tree they have cloaked beneath:  Luis Urias.  Whenever you hear the Padres fans shout about their MI prospect — they scream, “Our Luis Urias,” and they sound like John McEnroe barking at a line judge.  BTW, you know you’re old if you’ve ever asked a barber to give you a Jimmy Connors, and then complained after they gave you a Pete Rose.  Podcaster Ralph and I go over Luis Urias on today’s pod, but, I will give you the general gist, which was also my high school band name.  You might remember General Gist from such noteworthy songs as, “Keep Me Near You Or Thereabouts.”  Urias is a solid all-around bat, think .300 hitter, without huge power or speed.  He’s young though, which means he could blossom, so remain calm.  For now, I will call you, Zen Bobrist.  I would grab him if you’re struggling at MI to see if he can catch fire and master Zen and the Art of MI Maintenance.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

I’m Likin’ This, I’m LiKendrys A Lot

August 27, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 298 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”284415″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Buy Sell Hold Week 22″]

Don Mattingly and Ken Griffey Jr. sit in the airport, waiting for their flight out to Toronto, trying to make small talk, “How has post-Hall of Fame life been?”  “Good, good, how has post, uh, mustache life been?”  “Fine, yeah, fine.”  Finally, a Cooperstown employee approaches, “Where do you want Dale Long’s sarcophagus?”  “Are you not staying with it?”  “I was just told to deliver it.  Now, if Kendrys Morales breaks the home run record, you press this button on the side of the sarcophagus.”  Ken and Don look at each other and decide to try the button.  Dale’s sarcophagus opens and what resembles a crypt keeper says, “Wow, I can’t believe he broke our record.  That’s outta sight!”  And Dale’s mummified eyes spin like a slot machine.  This is reenactment of what Mattingly and Griffey are going through as they join Kendrys for the chase of their home runs in eight straight games record.  Yesterday, Morales homered in his 7th straight game, going 1-for-3, 2 RBIs, and that was his 21st homer.  I actually just picked up Kendrys Morales in my RCL league, after I picked up my jaw from surprise that he was still available.  He’s so smooth right now, they call him Kendrys Alba.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Vlad Buyerro Jr.

August 24, 2018 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 243 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”284415″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Buy Sell Hold Week 22″]

A premature grey-haired man and a prematurely balding man sit on a Brooklyn stoop, chatting about the old days.  “I can remember when Ossie Davis sat on this very stoop in Do The Right Thing.”  “It was a simpler time before gentrification.  Now the millennials are killing the bees, mayonnaise and plastic straws.”  Sipping his drink, “My kombucha tastes like paper…stupid biodegradable straw!”  “We were millennials as late as June, what happened to us?”  “We grew old waiting for Vladimir Guerrero Jr.!”  “Stupid millennials and their Super Twos!”  So, as mentioned last week in my Eloy Jimenez fantasy, I’m back here for the other guy who could be called up this week.  Will he?  Unless you’re talking to my groin, and mispronouncing Willie, I haven’t a clue.  I’m not saying Vlad Jr. necessarily will be called up, I’m just saying you stash him for right now.  See what happens when rosters expand in a few days, and, if he’s not called up, you drop him again.  No harm, no foul in holding a guy for a week who could do what Vladimir Guerrero Jr. does.  For more, search the damn site!  We’ve been talking about him for so long we’ve grown old!  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Mad Max Cannot Get Beyond Noladome

August 24, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 162 Comments

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The rich keep getting richer and the poor get poorer.  The middle is being squeezed.  When I Google, “What happened to the middle class?”  I found some socioeconomic theories on Yahoo Answers, and ads to get rich quick and stop having to “steal food from Whole Foods.”  Okay, I have no idea how they know about that, but, if you switch a price tag, it is not exactly stealing.  It’s redistributing “gummies made with real fruit juice.”  All of this is fascinating and all, but I was trying to find out what is happening to the middle class of starters!  Aaron Nola (8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks) and Max Scherzer (7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks) faced each other, and both pitchers have ERAs of 2.13.  Not surprisingly, the police code for fantastic use of arms is 2.13.  Again, there’s top starters with a sub-3 ERA, and there is a ton of starters above 4.00 ERA that I don’t want, but where are the 3.50 ERA pitchers?  Doesn’t it feel like this middle class of pitchers has shrunk?  *coming across something on the internet*  Hmm, maybe this article by a Harvard professor in The Economist will explain it to me.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Let The Truth Pannone

August 23, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 269 Comments

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Yesterday, Thomas Pannone took a no-hitter into the 7th inning of his 1st MLB start, and was the 5th pitcher since 1900 to go seven shutout innings with one or less hits and two or less walks, finishing with 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 3 Ks.  More trivia?  You got it!  He sometimes goes by his stepfather’s Polish name, Pannonehits, or his mom’s Czech name, Panntwowalks.  Coincidence?  Pannone says puh-no-way!  He has disavowed his biological Italian father, Panettone.  That guy is a real fruitcake.  Haha, we had some good laughs, huh?  I’m going to take a nap now.  *shuts eyes standing up*  I can hear you tiptoeing behind me.  So, wasn’t able to find a ton on Pannone on site.  Our Prospect-o-Nator that has projections for all rookies doesn’t hate Pannone.  Yes, it projects him for 4.98 ERA, but, trust me, with rookies, that’s not awful.  He’s not listed on any major Jays’ prospect lists likely because he throws 89 MPH.  Woof, and let the dog out so it can woof-woof.  For now, I’d look at him as a streamer.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Nats DM’d The Cubs But We All Got The Message

August 22, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 319 Comments

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Daniel Murphy traded to the Cubs, after being claimed on waivers.  I’m going to try to wrap my noodle around this one.  My above-the-line noodle.  That’s above-the-line as in waist, not above-the-line as it’s meant in Hollywood.  An above-the-line noodle in Hollywood parlance would mean below-the-line as in waist.  Okay, off track!  *steps in cardboard box designed to look like a car, yells at homeless man ‘driving’ the cardboard box*  Let’s get back on track or I’m going to give you a bad Uber rating!  For Daniel Murphy to get claimed by the Cubs, it means every NL team passed on him.  I realize he can’t pitch, but really, Brewers?  You got screwed on the Archer move, but you can’t use hitting, Pirates?  You didn’t want another reason to prospblock Jo-Ma, Cardinals?  Yo, Phillies, your team batting average is .236; hey, Colorado, you passed on a veteran?  Are you feeling okay?  So, Murphy joins the Cubs, where he should bat third and play 2nd base.  That knocks Javier Baez to 3rd; Ian Happ to a platoon in center with Al-Al, Maddon’s Bae Zobrist becomes a utility man, David Bote dons a GOAT costume once a week as a pinch-hitter, but not a goat costume as in the animal, Kris Bryant learns how to play 1st, Rizzo catches, Schwarber pitches and–so the Cubs are obviously stacked.  This should help Murphy’s fantasy value.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we get into the roundup, just wanted to say our Fantasy Football Subscriptions are now live.  Last year, Rudy placed top 5 out of something, like, 15,500 ‘perts who do fantasy football projections.  Maybe it’s closer to 200 ‘perts, but you get the picture.  Plus, it helps the site.  Anyway II, the roundup:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Wouldn’t It Be Bryse If Atlanta Brings Up Wilson

August 21, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 354 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”280818″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 21″]

The Braves called up Bryse Wilson, their third starter who is under 21 years old (Soroka, Allard) and 4th player (Acuña).  Mean’s while, Vladimir Guerrero Jr. just collected his 3,000th minor league hit.  By the time Vlad Jr. is called up, he will be Vlad Sr.’s brother.  Didja you know in Latin America junior is a term of endearment like when you call that old lady in your family ‘aunt’ even though she’s unrelated?  That’s why so many Jr.’s get to their 2nd year of pro ball and drop the junior.  Right, Raul Mondesi Jr.?  Any hoo!  The Braves called up yet another gorgeous, young prospect.  “That’s what I love about these Braves starters, man. I keep getting older, they stay the same age.” — Matthew McConaughey seeing Bryse Wilson.  Prospector Ralph just gave you his Bryse Wilson fantasy.  He’s also in his top 500 fantasy baseball prospects.  Previously, he said, “A 4th rounder in 2016, Bryse Wilson rode his plus sinking fastball to one of the bigger breakouts of 2017.  His four-seamer sits 92-95 with sink, and commands it extremely well.  His secondaries are far more raw with a power 12-6 curve, and a fringe changeup.  Speaking of Wilson, I’d like to spike Grey like a volleyball.”  Okay, not cool!  Yesterday, Wilson went 5 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, as the Braves bumped everyone in their rotation back a day.  The big thing that struck me about Bryse is he looks like he’s been doing it for years (which could be said of the other young Braves players).  About to call him Poyse Wilson.  Seems weird to call him up to just send him back to the minors, so gotta expect him to stay up.  In shallower redrafts, I’d view Wilson as a streamer, but I did grab him in two mixed league redrafts.  He’s obviously a decent keeper in deep leagues (10.8 K/9, 0.9 BB/9 in only 20 Triple-A innings), especially now that’s he’s up with rest of the Braves’ Poyse of Summer.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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