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Holding hands to eyes, sun blinds me, I turn back and call into the house, “Ma, how long is this break without baseball? Ma?” I realize now that I’m not emerging from my mom’s house. I’m emerging from a bunker. I had been in there longer than I imagined. I pick up a newspaper to see the date, “It’s 2023!” I scream, then I see even more distressing news, “This isn’t a newspaper. Someone’s printed out my fantasy team on a piece of paper! And I have Lance Lynn on my fantasy team!” I scream further and walk back into my bunker. Welcome to the unofficial end of the 1st half. I say unofficial because I’m not an official. I’m wearing stripes, because I’m in a prison camp. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! During the break, we’re moving servers from an overseas one to stateside. ‘Murica, eff yeah! I was told that the worst case scenario is some people might see the old version of the site for a few hours while some see the newer version. For unstints, some of you might see 12 comments, then come back and see eight comments, then come back to see 175, then 12 again. Or it might not affect anyone. The top 100 for the 2nd half will still be out tomorrow (it’s on Patreon already). Anyway II, the roundup:
Miles Mikolas – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.23. Streamonator might not be 100% accurate until Wednesday, but, if it’s right about Mikolas’s next start, it looks good.
Steven Matz – 5 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.65. Remember how they moved the Colts in the middle of the night from Baltimore? They’re doing that with the White Sox because of how bad they looked vs. Steven Matz. They’re going to Indiana and they will now be a Triple-A team.
Blake Snell – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.85. Think he has a chance to win the NL Cy, so I posed the question, when was the last time an eventual Cy Young winner wasn’t asked to the All-Star Game? And was told it was Robbie Ray two years ago. Ha, I completely forgot. Was distracted by something else, appantsrently.
Manny Machado – 2-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 14th and 15th homer. Your Buy Low window on Machado is closing, please bring your hands and feet inside–Why the hell are your feet out the window?
Joe Musgrove – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.29 vs. Max Scherzer – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.31. Was way too appropriate that the Mets and Padres had the exact same pee-poor record going into their final matchup of the 1st half. Here’s to selling at the deadline!
Jose Alvarado – Hit the IL with elbow inflammation. He says he’s not concerned. Very reassuring. I’m sure it’s nothing then.
Aaron Nola – 6 IP, 4 ER, 8 hits, zero walks, 3 HRs allowed, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.39. Don’t think Adley Rutschman has much of a chance in the Home Run Derby *finger to ear* Hearing now he’s chosen Aaron Nola to pitch to him. Okay, Adley Rutschman is now the favorite.
Jesus Sanchez – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer. That’s what He does.
Dane Myers – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 1st homer. I’m monocle’ing, and intrigued, but mostly for NL-Only.
Logan Gilbert – 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.66. This is neither here nor there, but why did the Mariners play on Sunday but the two (haha) Los Angeles teams did not? I know the M’s were on the road, but the Angels and Dodgers are nowhere near Seattle.
Ryan Mountcastle – 1-for-1, 1 RBI as he returned from Il, where he was dealing with vertigo. Finally, he caught that blonde by the Golden Gate bridge. Foolsies aside, the O’s have too many players for their lineup. Mountcastle might get platooned. It’s not great.
Anthony Santander – 2-for-4, 3 runs and his 15th and 16th homer. Also, in this game, Aaron Hicks (1-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs) hit his 7th homer, as he finally feels free from the constraints of the Yankees. Austin Hays (2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 9th homer, your starting left fielder for the AL All-Star team, which means 14 other teams aren’t attending? Ramon Urias (2-for-5, 3 RBIs) hit his 4th homer, and Mountcastle is really never playing, is he? Finally, Adley Rutschman (2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 12th homer. His SLG is below fellow Orioles — Fell-O? — Ryan O’Hearn.
Kyle Gibson – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 4.60. Kyle Gibson or Corbin Burnes? Who do you want anchoring your staff–Kidding! Take it easy. But it’s not that far off.
Sonny Gray – 6 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 2.89. Thanks, Regression Fairies. You couldn’t just let me have good thoughts about him heading into the break, huh?
Joe Ryan – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.70. He had ten Ks too, and this is me trying to polish a turd. “Hand lotion, soap, cologne, turd polishing?” That’s me as a bathroom attendant. Clearly, I’m concerned on Ryan, but the K/BB gives me hope still.
Seiya Suzuki – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer. At least it said in the box score he has seven homers. It felt like his first.
Anthony Volpe – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 13th homer, hitting .216. Okay, we’ve reached the halfway mark, which means I can start actively rooting for guys to do poorly so I can write a sleeper post for them next year.
Brent Rooker – 3-for-3 and a slam (16) and legs (2). This roundup is short on actionable advice. Like the rest of your shizz isn’t. Not cool, Random Italicized Voice. Anyway! Rooker has been hot, 2nd game in a row with a homer, but four days off throws who is hot and who is not into a bit of a mess. If you believe Rooker can stay hot over the break, there ya go.
JP Sears – 5 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.88. Put Sears on a contender and he becomes a top 40 starter (he’s around the 65th starter now on the Player Rater).
Masataka Yoshida – 2-for-4, 2 runs and a slam (10) and legs (6), hitting .316. He’s lived up to his preseason billing, Alex Verdugo, Part 2. Call him Alex Verdutoo.
Elly De La Cruz – 1-for-4, hitting .325, but on Saturday: Words are beginning to fail:
We live during the time when the best baseball ever is being played pic.twitter.com/ucmlzT9ib2
— Razzball (@Razzball) July 8, 2023
Wade Miley – 6 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.06. Had a decent 1st half, mostly a Streamonator call that worked out, so don’t take this the wrong way, but the last day before the break feels a bit like the last day before summer in school. You’re there, but you’re not really paying attention.
Mitch Keller – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners (5 BBs), 4 Ks, ERA at 3.31. Top 100 drops tomorrow, but, for what it’s Cronenworth, Keller made it and there was no doubt, Gwen Stefani.
Corbin Carroll – 0-for-3, hitting .289. “Slow it down right there! Okay, now back it up a little.” *watching every swing Corbin Carroll takes, frame-by-frame like it’s the Zapruder film*
Alek Thomas – 2-for-3 and his 5th homer, and 2nd homer in the last two games, but like I said a few times in this post, who knows with schmotatoes.
Logan Webb – 9 IP, 0 ER, 7 hits, zero walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.14. Webb reminding everyone that he’s the best number two starter that people forget about.
Reid Detmers – 3 1/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 4.31. *burrows head in sand* Hey, he had a good xFIP, right?
Spencer Strider – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.44. If I were the Braves, I’d shut Strider down on September 1st, and let him rest for a month. Not saying they will, but I would.
Travis d’Arnaud – 1-for-4 and his 8th homer, hitting .275. Braves’ lineup is so stacked they have two catchers who are decent. Well, I guess the same might be said for the Jays, but they have two catchers, and no pitching. Any hoo! Braves have a legit 12 hitters who could be worthwhile. Michael Harris II (1-for-3, 1 RBI) would be the two-hole hitter for any other lineup. He’d be a three-hole hitter for some teams.
Bryce Elder – 3 1/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 2.97. That’s it! Drink that regression! Drink it up! I mean, aw shucks. What a shame.
Drew Rasmussen – Will undergo a third surgery on his elbow. Bad news is all of that. Good news, seven more elbow surgeries and 11th is free.
Yandy Diaz – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 13th homer, hitting .323. Rays have 13 hitters, so take that, Braves.
Zach Eflin – 5 IP, 2 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.25. Eflin’s K/9 and BB/9 are 9.2 K.9, 1.3 BB/9, that’s pretttttttttttttay pretttttttttttttay good.
Shane Bieber – 6 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.77. Drink it up! Drink up your regression! I mean, aw, poor Bieber. Hate to see it.
Patrick Corbin – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.89. NL should consider just starting Patrick Corbin for the All-Star Game and letting him go as long as he can.
Joey Meneses – 1-for-3 and his 6th homer, and his 4th homer in three games. Overheard this weekend, “Joey, hey, your agent here. You wanna get traded at the deadline? I have an idea how.”
Andrew Heaney – 3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 4.71. “I feel like Heaney might actively be trying to kill fantasy baseballers. Yes, that’s my mom’s term.” That’s me on the phone with 911.
Riley Greene – 2-for-5 and his 6th homer, as he was activated over the weekend, hitting .305. I know he missed some time, but he’s on pace for an 11/11 season. Not saying I wouldn’t look at him if other options were not available, but the people thirsty for Riley Greene confuse me a little.
Matt Manning – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, zero hits, 3 walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.72 as the Tigers combined for a no-hitter on Saturday. I’ll always remember where I was when I learned that the Tigers combined for a no hitter — in the bathroom of a El Pollo Loco. Yes, I’ll be done in a second! Sorry, doing speech to text. No, I can’t check to see if someone left a fanny pack holding a TCBY stamp card, sugar packets and condoms, can you please give me a second?
