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With these top 100 starters for 2020 fantasy baseball, I’ve finished our (my) 2020 fantasy baseball rankings for positions.  Still coming will be a top 100 overall and top 500 to see how all the positions mesh together like your mesh Redskins jersey that meshes with your burgundy sweatpants. Trust me, when you see how long this post is, you’ll be glad I kept this intro short. All the 2020 fantasy baseball rankings are there. Here’s Steamer’s 2020 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2020 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. Here’s all the 2020 fantasy baseball auction rankings. As always, my projections are included, and where I see tiers starting and stopping.  If you want an explanation of tiers, go back to the top 10 overall and start this shizz all over again. Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2020 fantasy baseball:

ALL PROJECTIONS ARE BASED ON 60 GAMES PLAYED, DUE TO COVID-19. BE SAFE OUT THERE!

81. Sandy Alcantara – This tier started in the top 80 starters for 2020 fantasy baseball. This tier ends at Sheffield. I called this tier, “Getting a microwave tan.” As for Alcantara, a small price to be paid for being a Marlins pitcher, you will never win more than nine games. It’s in their constitution, next to: Must have one connection to Yankees franchise from every decade for the last four decades. Sandy Alcantara is getting by a bit on good vibes and bad farts. He’s never done anything great, but he throws 96 MPH and he’s only 24, so who knows? 2020 Projections: 3-4/4.29/1.34/61 in 71 IP

82. Josh James – With Justin Verlander’s injury, I’ve added Josh James into the rankings. To read more:  Coolwhip’s Josh James fantasy. 2020 Projections: 3-1/4.11/1.28/51 in 41 IP

83. A.J. PukUPDATE: With the season on hold, which feels like getting on hold with the cable company for eight weeks and, at any point, you could die if you touch your face, Puk was added into the rankings, because now his shoulder should, er, (stutterer!) be healed by the time the season starts. Risky bet, but one I’m willing to take if drafting now. UPDATE II: Shoulder strain and removed from rankings. 2020 Projections: 4-1/3.87/1.34/64 in 57 IP

84. Jordan Yamamoto – A major narrative that I tried to start last year that no one else paid attention to was how guys who don’t throw fast are the new guys who throw fast. If you’ve heard it before, feel free to skip ahead (but if you don’t read all the blurbs you don’t get a hard candy at the end). Yamamoto was a 9.4 K/9 pitcher last year, which is exactly what everyone expected when the Marlins called up an 89-MPH fastball that was flame-retardant. “How fast does he throw?” A scout recently said to another scout who was holding a speed gun. “I’ll tell you when the ball passes the plate.” The scout sticks chew in his mouth, scratches his sweaty armpit, then, finally, “89-ish? Maybe. I might’ve just been taking a reading of that bird that flew overhead.” My prophesied conspiracy theory is: when everyone is throwing fast, it actually keeps hitters off-balance to throw slow.  The Slow Pitches Theorized Conspiracy for Hardball (SPITCH) is fully realized now that it has an acronym. Everyone throws 91+ MPH. With SPITCH, you throw 89 and gank ’em. 2020 Projections: 3-4/4.14/1.21/53 in 51 IP

85. Justus Sheffield – Mostly ranking him here because I don’t love Jose Urena and I’ve run out of Marlins pitchers. I kid, I kid. How did all the shine come off Sheffield in what, 18 months? Would it shock you to know he’s still only 23 years old? What if I told you he threw 169 IP last year between three levels and ended in the majors with a 9.3 K/9? Does that sound awful? No? How about that his fastball lost two miles on velocity and he had a 4.71 FIP? Does that sound awful? Wait, it does. Hmm, okay, so there’s a reason why he’s not being drafted in the top 50 overall. He still is young, and worth the flyer. 2020 Projections: 3-3/4.23/1.41/53 in 51 IP

86. Masahiro Tanaka – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Kim. I call this tier, “Court-appointed lawyer.” Guess it’s debatable whether or not it’s better to have a court-appointed lawyer vs. not having one at all. Welcome to this tier! You are admittedly deep in the starter rankings at this point, and likely in a deep league if you’re looking at these guys, so I’m not kicking anyone out of bed. Every bed is burning in Teheran though, so…*pretends to be weighing scales with hands, realizing I don’t know what I’m weighing, slowly lowers hands*  I could see drafting any of these guys, but the league would have to be deep (15+ teams) and you need to lose a little bit of hope for living. As for Tanaka, something’s going to give in the Yankees’ rotation with Happ and eventually The Sunday German. Seems very likely Happ is bumped and, hey, Happ is shizz and shizz Happens. What does this have to do with Tanaka? He had a 6+ road ERA and has stretches where he is unownable in any league, so it wouldn’t shock me to see him bumped from the rotation for a few weeks-slash-months-slash-axl-and-the-other-guy. 2020 Projections: 4-3/4.31/1.26/50 in 58 IP

87. Mike Fiers – Epitome of this tier. At best he’s safe and unexciting. At worst Fiers makes you want to stop, drop and roll into traffic, especially if you’re an Astros hitter. 2020 Projections: 4-3/4.09/1.19/45 in 62 IP

88. Dylan Bundy – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Traded to the Angels. Just got a hot tip from ESPN dot com that the Orioles have relocated their team to other teams, trading off the once-great franchise for pieces. Bundy sent to Anaheim for a matching tea set and Villar out the door for, appropriately enough, a screen door. Oh, hold on a second, hearing now they will trade you Ryan Mountcastle for a case of Old Bay seasoning. It’s important stuff to have when you’re trying to prepare crabs, so I can understand it. Any hoo! Bundy goes to the Angels just in time to breakout. He’s not a free agent until 2021 and his stuff finally seems to be coming together. Seriously, how do you trade him away now? After countless terrible years! It’s like the O’s are other teams’ minor league affiliate. Bundy still is a work-in-progress — 9 K/9, 3.2 BB/9 and 4.73 FIP with way too many homers allowed. Angels Stadium of Los Angeles Not Los Angeles could help, and I could see a super late flyer.” And that’s me quoting me! 2020 Projections: 3-3/4.34/1.36/67 in 66 IP

89. Kyle Gibson – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Rangers. As someone who has owned Gibson in the past, one word of advice for the Rangers. If he’s throwing a 5 IP, 0 ER game, pull him after the 5th inning of scoreless baseball because it will all invariably go sideways before you know what’s happened. Doesn’t matter if he’s thrown 60 pitches or 95 pitches. Get him out of the game! This hilarious in an extremely sad way:  In his third time through the order, Gibson has a 29.2% line drive rate allowed. Would it surprise you to know that’s insanely awful? Since I randomly also had Eric Lauer’s player page open, his LD% third time through was 13.3%. Gibson’s FIP third time through 5.36. Hey, I don’t want to tell people how to do their job, but maybe use an Opener with him. Just throwing it out there. Like Gibson after the 5th inning.” And that’s me yadda’ing my yadda!  2020 Projections: 4-2/4.16/1.32/68 in 66 IP

90. Jose Quintana – As someone who owned him last year, it’s more or less fate that he will have a good BABIP this year, after having a terrible one last year, and be a worthwhile pitcher on everyone’s team but mine. You’re welcome! 2020 Projections: 4-3/4.15/1.34/64 in 56 IP UPDATE: Out with thumb surgery.

91. Michael Pineda – Will miss the first five weeks of the season, finishing out his suspension. Will be interesting to see what Pineda is filled with in 2020, now that we know it’s not PEDs. *eyes bulge in realization* OH MY GOD!!! I feel like the police figuring out they were talking to Keyser Soze the whole time!. An anagram of Michael Pineda is “PED in a Michael.” He was telling us the whole time!!! UPDATE: A delayed season is not great if your season was going to be delayed already with a suspension. 2020 Projections: 6-6/4.23/1.21/76 in 81 IP

91. Alex Wood – Just don’t really trust him to throw enough innings to be a legit candidate to disrupt Urias or May’s rotation spot, but if Wood is, then Urias or May will be a bunch of wouldas. Hashtag nailed it! Wood, that is. 2020 Projections: 3-2/3.88/1.28/50 in 44 IP

92. Jeff Samardzija – Being honest with you here, because if we don’t have honesty, what do we have? Everyone just ghosting each other rather than having an honest conversation? Hmm, that doesn’t sound bad. Maybe honesty isn’t so great. Honesty never worked for businesses, otherwise a tagline would be something like Target: Wal-Mart with lipstick. Any hoo! My honesty is:  After 2018, I can’t see myself ever drafting Samardzija again. He just hurt me too much. 2020 Projections: 3-2/3.87/1.18/64 in 51 IP

93. Jon Lester – Same as Samardzija, only I never owned Lester. 2020 Projections: 4-2/4.29/1.34/61 in 56 IP

94. Anibal Sanchez – Random factoid alert! Anibal is nearing 2,000 IP in his career with a sub-4.00 ERA. A solid career, I’d say. You’d say too, if you’re saying it. Yet, he’s never had a season of 200 IP. Long cry from Walter Johnson throwing 500 innings a year with 50 of them coming from him hackey-sack’ing the baseball to the plate. 2020 Projections: 4-2/4.14/1.31/60 in 49 IP

95. Dakota Hudson –  I chuckled a little when I saw the Cardinals threw Dakota for 174 2/3 IP last year, and he threw his fastball 61.7% of the time. No wonder his fastball velocity went from 96 to 93 year-over-year. By the end of the year he was pitching like Walter Johnson’s last 50 innings of every year. Callback to previous blurb! My advice for Dakota to learn a new pitch looks like it has already reached him, because he started throwing his slider 15.7% of the time more and started throwing a curve and change with results that were less than zero, Bret Easton Ellis. 2020 Projections: 3-3/4.08/1.38/49 in 61 IP

96. Gio Gonzalez – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the White Sox. Gio always seems to do better with his ERA than his peripherals would indicate, which is what you tell yourself before drafting him and two weeks before you inevitably drop him.” And that’s–you know! 2020 Projections: 3-3/4.22/1.38/55 in 62 IP

97. Julio Teheran – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Angels. Singing, ‘Julio down by the Teheran schoolyard stepping on an IED…’ Oh, hey, I didn’t hear you come in. His 89 MPH fastball was working for him last year with a 3.81 ERA. It doesn’t work for me. Teheran’s about to get bombed like, uh, Teheran.” And that’s me quoting Paul Simon ranking pitchers! 2020 Projections: 3-3/4.21/1.34/60 in 52 IP

98. Josh Lindblom – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed by the Brewers after spending two great years in Korea like Douglas MacArthur. ‘I’m wearing this stupid helmet for nothing?’ That’s the Ghost of George S. Patton not getting no love! In the KBO, Lindblom threw 194 2/3 IP with 2.50 ERA and 189 Ks. The Brewers must’ve figured Lindblom covered all the holes in his game, like he was a producer of Bialy stock. I’ll believe in ‘all things were fixed in Korea’ when a team signs a pitcher to return to the states and all the Korean hitters he faced are signed to play for other teams, though they might need approval of other teams for that.” And that’s me blabbity blabbity bloo’ing! 2020 Projections: 3-2/4.21/1.37/50 in 47 IP

99. Kwang-Hyun Kim – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Cardinals. After hearing of the signing of Kim, Eminem burned his Cards jersey. In 190 1/3 IP in nineteen after twenty for the SK Wyverns of the Korea Baseball Organization (are you still with me?), Kim, at the ripe age of 31, threw 190 1/3 IP with a 2.51 ERA and 180 Ks, and only a 1.8 BB/9. Wonder what this signing does to Alex Reyes. Kidding, he retired after five straight hype-filled offseasons, saying, ‘It doesn’t get better than what people think I can do.’ Kidding, Reyes is still around, only delegated to the minors now, at least to start the year (methinks). Kim’s earlier seasons, like any season but last year, seem pretty unremarkable. He hits 92 MPH on his fastball, and 85 on his slider. He strikes me as a 6-7 K/9, decent WHIP, kinda wonky ERA guy. A very late round flyer for deeper mixed leagues.” And that’s me–well, you know. 2020 Projections: 3-2/4.21/1.19/42 in 55 IP

100. Reynaldo Lopez – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Anderson. I call this tier, “Putting a dreamcatcher under your pillow.” This tier is filled with guys who you can wish into fantasy relevance. Really, it will totally work for you. Now send me $100 and I’ll send you a Razzball dreamcatcher*. *Shipping included, because I won’t actually be shipping you anything. As for Reynaldo, you can will the narrative into existence that because Giolito broke out last year, Lopez will this year. Seriously, just close your eyes, clinch your fists and keep repeating, “Reynaldo is this year’s Giolito.” It will happen if you really believe it. 2020 Projections: 4-2/4.43/1.39/64 in 69 IP

101. Rick Porcello – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Close your eyes and make a wish that Porcello will win the Cy Young again. Now think about how if he does, you could’ve wished for anything and instead you wished into existence some nonsense for someone you don’t even know. Well played! This is for you, like the Mets, a lottery ticket that somehow Porcello will find his way back to relevance. He hasn’t had just one bad season between his Cy Young year and last year. Oh, he’s been derailed a while, and I wouldn’t expect much.” And that’s me quoting me! 2020 Projections: 4-2/4.31/1.33/63 in 56 IP

102. Marco Gonzales – Last year he threw 200 IP and won 16 games with an ERA under-4.00. If you can get him this late, it’s an absolute steal, which is what you keep telling yourself between the time you draft him and drop him. 2020 Projections: 3-4/4.11/1.28/47 in 61 IP

103. Nathan Eovaldi – After eight years of lackluster performances, he will broke out with his 97 MPH fastball this year because you stole a bunch of coins from a wishing well and those wishes sucked and your wish is better. 2020 Projections: 3-3/4.19/1.34/46 in 49 IP

104. Brad Keller – He’s only 24 years old and touches 94 MPH. If you call him B-Rad, he will magically fulfill all your dreams. 2020 Projections: 3-4/4.21/1.31/49 in 67 IP

105. Michael Wacha – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Mets. Mets out here signing guys like, “I got high apple pie hopes, I got pie in the sky hopes, I got ‘Wacha can be good again’ hopes.” Think I’d prefer the apple pie in the sky, but you do you.” And that’s me compying and pasting me! Since that blurb, Porcello signed with the Mets, and I lowered Wacha’s projections. 2020 Projections: 3-2/4.36/1.38/49 in 52 IP

106. Tanner Roark – After he signed with the Jays, here’s what I said, “Before the signing, he said, ‘I had a season of 198 2/3 IP and a 2.85 ERA and a season of 2.83 ERA in 210 IP. Why didn’t I get a deal for $325 million?’ That’s Mr. Roark on Fantasy Island.” And that’s me quoting me quoting him! 2020 Projections: 3-2/4.33/1.35/52 in 54 IP

107. Jakob JunisMarlins starters dominated the first tier in this post; Royals are dominating this tier. Why do I think when the cheap Royals owner’s wife wanted to see Hamilton he took her to Hamilton, Ontario? 2020 Projections: 3-4/4.37/1.38/61 in 66 IP

108. Danny Duffy – If you draft him, you can sing, “I rock rough and tough with Danny Duffy,” and lose your league. 2020 Projections: 3-3/4.41/1.34/51 in 57 IP

109. Cole Hamels – Here’s what I said when he signed with the Braves, “Damn, the Braves are a smart organization. I’m not suddenly head over heels for Hamels, calling myself Toe Camels, and picking wedgies out of my crotch from excitement, but, for real baseball, this is just a smart move. He’s a 3.42 ERA career pitcher across almost 3,000 IP, and remarkably consistent year in and year out. Especially smart for a one-year contract. What downside is there? I’m gonna answer for you, none. Of course, for fantasy, he did lose some velocity and wasn’t able to locate as well as usual. He is going to be 36 years old, so not expecting an ace, but I don’t hate the flyer at the right price.” And that’s me quoting me! UPDATE: Will miss Opening Day, due to a setback with his shoulder. Goodbye, adios, won’t be drafting you. UPDATE II: We don’t know when Opening Day is, so it’s on! Not the season, yet, I don’t think, but it does give Hamels time to freshen near his lapels. 2020 Projections:  2-2/4.24/1.34/39 in 44 IP

110. Griffin Canning – I wrote a sleeper post for Canning, but, due to a lack of time, I wasn’t able to post it. I think I started rankings a week earlier this year — interesting, huh? Any hoo! Now, without further ado, after this further ado, I present you my Griffin Canning sleeper:

Can I be honest with you? Don’t answer that; let’s both live and breathe our lies. But, if you wanted that cold, moment-before-you-die truth, I did not want to write a Griffin Canning sleeper. Didn’t have any real reason why. My biggest reason was I didn’t want to write a sleeper post for two Angels pitchers. Again, not really because of anything specifically. Just felt that if I were drafting all my sleepers, and, in a perfect world, I would be, I wasn’t drafting two Angels starters. Also, I felt that if I was going to be right about one Angels starter — say, my Andrew Heaney sleeper — then what’s the chances I’d be right about two? Seemed unlikely at best. Then, I thought about it, and these are not rational reasons to not write a Griffin Canning sleeper or to draft two Angels starters or consider two sleepers. This is anecdotal nonsense. It’s akin to not drafting two players in the same lineup if the team isn’t good. You don’t know which teams are ‘good.’ You only think so, and two players can be good on the same team. In fact — and this is gonna really blow your mind — three, four or five players can be good on the same team, even if that team isn’t good. You could’ve won a league last year owning, say, Lucas Giolito, Alex Colome, Jose Abreu, Tim Anderson and Daniel Palka. Sure, you would’ve dropped Palka after you realized I was an absolute idiot for saying to draft him, but you still could’ve done fine. Anyway, what can we expect from Griffin Canning for 2020 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

I got so lost in the weeds on Griffin Canning and legit reasons to like and dislike him I watched all 14 home runs he allowed last year. Eight were on his four-seamer. In 90 1/3 IP, that’s a decent number of homers allowed. He throws an 89 MPH slider 29% of the time, and, boys and five girls, that’s a lot. To compare him unfairly to Clayton Kershaw’s slider, Canning gets 29.6% strikeout rate and Kershaw gets 32.4%. Batting average against for Kershaw was .217, and Canning’s was .236. Kershaw’s OBP was .259 and Canning’s was .312. So, that’s good, but has some ways to go before it’s Kershaw’s slider. Not to mention, this is Kershaw’s slider at 31 years of age; his slider at 23 years old was, brucely, insane. And, because I started down this path for no apparent reason, Kershaw’s whiff rate on fastballs was 14% and Canning’s was 23% (he throws it roughly 94 MPH). So, nice slider, but Canning’s, uh, coming with more than one pitch. Canning’s actually got four pitches, and last year his Uncle Charlie was his 2nd best pitch. His curve was thrown 16% of the time, and produced a 29.4% strikeout rate, and only a 2% walk rate with an expected batting average of .175. Finally, for the coup de Mark Grace, hitters only made contact with Griffin Canning’s pitches 69.5% of the time. That’s actually how I ended up even writing this post (then not publishing it) and why I’m drafting him in all leagues with as late as he’s going. 69.5% contact rate is the 7th best in the majors. Would it surprise you to know the top six are basically the best six pitchers in the majors? If so, then you’re surprised easily. The top seven (in order):  Snell, Castillo, Cole, Clevinger, Scherzer, Verlander and Griffin Canning. Hello, beautiful, may I interest you in joining my fantasy team? It’s pretty much common sense, but I will spell it out to you anyway. If a pitcher is throwing pitches that the hitter can’t make contact with, then the pitcher will be successful. The guys on the list directly after Canning are equally dazzling. You have your Corbins, your deGroms, your Biebers, etc. The only reason why Canning had a 4.37 FIP last year and not, say, a mid-3 was because he wasn’t in the zone enough. That I think can come with age. Which brings me to my final point. Canning might be two years away. He only has 90 major league innings at 23 years of age. It wouldn’t 100% shock me (otherwise known as the Shock%) to see Canning have an up and down year with an eye on 2021 for his breakout. Though, at his price, I’m still happily taking the flyer everywhere, even if I already own teammate, Heaney. UPDATE: Moved all the way down in the rankings with news he has a sore elbow. Slanted text slowly scrolling away from us over a black background, “Stay far, far away.” Glad I didn’t write a sleeper post for Canning, even though I 100% did, but didn’t publish it, only to post it in this ranking’s blurb. Semantics, perhaps, but semantics aren’t just crabs you get from wearing your friend’s gotchies! 2020 Projections:  2-2/4.02/1.25/35 in 30 IP

111. John Means – I completely trust Orioles pitching. Now hold that in a mirror and read it back to me. 2020 Projections: 3-4/4.42/1.31/50 in 62 IP

112. Jake Arrieta – Member when he was good? We were younger then and you still showered five times a week. What a time to be alive! 2020 Projections: 3-3/4.40/1.39/47 in 59 IP

113. Jose Urena – After a brief foray into the closer role last year, which went about as swimmingly as Natalie Wood, Urena is headed back to the rotation. The bad news is Urena is Spanish for, “I peed in the piscina and Urena it.” The good news is I can’t think of any. 2020 Projections: 3-3/4.44/1.39/48 in 62 IP

114. Dylan Cease – You, “I’ve decided to stop wishing for Reynaldo’s relevance and started wishing for Cease. Will I be penalized for not continuing with one wish?” Me, “Yes.” 2020 Projections: 3-3/4.51/1.43/51 in 49 IP

115. Jordan Lyles – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Rangers. Mike Minor and Lance Lynn might’ve been the worst thing that ever happened to the Rangers. Now, they’re like, “Give us your tired, your weak, your wonky, and we will turn them around.” If I squint hard enough at Lyles’s stats, I’m not completely disgusted. Okay, squint and hold a hand over his walk rate. At this point in the history of terrible pitching, I’m doing a lot of squinting to try to find late gems. Jordan’s got me interested incredibly late, but unlikely drafted in 12 or 15 team mixed leagues.” And that’s me copying and pasting me! 2020 Projections: 4-3/4.31/1.31/58 in 57 IP

116. Adam Wainwright – Waiting for the Cardinals scandal to be revealed that Wainwright and Molina are actually 140 years old and have been doing blood transfusions of Alex Reyes’s blood. 2020 Projections: 4-3/4.37/1.41/53 in 62 IP

117. Miles Mikolas – If the last tier was home run prone, this tier is quote-unquote safe because of the lack of walks allowed from most of the guys in this tier. That actually might be Mikolas’s one redeeming trait. Was a bit surprised to see he throws as hard as he does (93.6 MPH), but he relies so heavily on the fastball (51.3%), that if the pitch doesn’t work, Mikolas will be eaten alive and might fit better in a dental dam tier. UPDATE: After a full offseason of rest, his forearm is still bothering him. Well, at least the flag next to his name is the same color as his team.  2020 Projections: 3-3/3.96/1.21/43 in 54 IP

118. Spencer Turnbull – He burst on the scene last year with a 3-17 record and a 4.61 ERA. Hmm, instead of ‘burst on the scene’ I should’ve said spontaneously combusted. 2020 Projections: 3-2/4.47/1.40/57 in 59 IP

119. Zach Davies – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Headed to the Padres. When you see Davies’s eephus that he calls a fastball and his strikeout rate, well, it leaves a lot to be desired. Wait, it gets worse! This year his terrible Ks went south with his luggage, and now his strikeout rate (5.8 K/9) is listed in the dictionary next to the word “bleh”. In Petco vs. Miller won’t hurt him, and he seemingly managed to limit ERA damage last year, but it’s hard to recommend him.” And that’s–well, you know. 2020 Projections: 3-4/4.36/1.35/44 in 66 IP

120. Wade Miley – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed the Reds. The Reds are stacking up to be a solid real-life rotation, but I’m a little bummed Tyler Mahle appears shoved out of the ass-end of the rotation. Never wanna shove a T. Mahle out of the ass-end of anything. Heed those words.” And that’s me copying and pasting me! 2020 Projections: 3-3/4.23/1.32/52 in 61 IP

121. J.A. Happ – One of my favorite news reports is when a guy no team would wants is being reported as having many potential teams interested in a trade. I’m going to pay a reporter to put out a story how Penelope Cruz is very interested in me. 2020 Projections: 3-3/4.44/1.31/44 in 49 IP

Tyler Beede – This is less about, “How great can Beede be?” And more about, “How bad can a pitcher in San Fran’s park be?” *sees Beede’s 5.08 ERA from last year* Okay, point taken. UPDATE: Tyler Beede said he doesn’t need surgery after revealing his UCL was only 75 percent attached. As you can imagine, the Giants are seeking a 2nd opinion. 2020 Projections: 8-12/4.51/1.41/131 in 139 IP

122. Eric Lauer – Here’s what I said when he was traded to the Brewers, “I hope Lauer got told he was going to pitching in one of the worst ballparks by Ronan Farrow. That’ll teach–*intern whispers in my ear* Now that you say it it makes a lot of sense that it’s not the same Lauer. Lauer was a guy who could’ve been a great late pick in fantasy drafts, but now? Miller Park once chewed up and spat out Zack Greinke with one of his worst ERA years. The park isn’t the kiss of death if you can strikeout everyone (Woodruff, Hader, Peralta), but it’s scary for a guy like Lauer with his 8-ish K/9 and 3+ BB/9.” And that’s me repeating myself! 2020 Projections: 3-3/4.37/1.33/55 in 59 IP

123. Chase Anderson – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Acquired by the Blue Jays. He went from a Brewer to a Jay, which shows what a gateway drug beer is. I am praying for you, drunkards, which is why I’m typing this up dressed as a praying mantis. Praise all insects. Ohm… California hasn’t changed me at all. Any hoo! Chase Anderson, my favorite pitcher who no one else likes, and who I don’t really like anymore either ends up in the AL East. That’s gonna be a woof with a side of no thanks.” And that’s giving me to you from me! UPDATE: Oblique strain and will miss a significant portion of the 60 games.  2020 Projections: 3-4/4.24/1.30/50 in 57 IP

Devin Smeltzer – Rudy’s pitcher projections have Smeltzer down for 89 IP; I’d be lying if that’s not a concern for me, and, if my nose grew when I lied, I’d look like Smeltzer. 2020 Projections: 8-11/4.31/1.34/108 in 134 IP UPDATE: With the trade of Maeda, Devin was removed from the rankings. Smeltzer ya later!

124. Ross Stripling – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Gore. I call this tier, “160 IP and one, two, three bazingas!” This tier is all guys who won’t see anywhere near a full season. They might not even see 100 IP. If they do sneak into extra innings, they could be way more valuable. Also, I could see drafting these guys higher in leagues that reward middle relievers, or shallower leagues where you can just drop these guys if they’re moved out of the rotation. As for Stripling, I mentioned this about 14,000 words ago, but the Dodgers’ rotation is shallower than it’s been in years past, but still has a bunch of middling options. A couple of injuries and Stripling might make 20 starts. By the way, I realize I’ve ranked about eighteen Dodger starters.  2020 Projections: 3-1/3.67/1.18/38 in 38 IP

125. Jordan Montgomery – With Severino and Paxton’s injuries, I’ve decided to add in Montgomery, but my first step in trying to figure out my thoughts on him led me down a trail of broken dreams about his Tommy John surgery in 2018, and shoulder issues last year. Sorta like Chris Davis, Montgomery’s already got three strikes against him. He used to work with four pitches, and, in his last full season, he was a cheap, valuable starter, so I’m not out on him for a flyer, but expecting more than 100 IP from a guy who hasn’t throw in 18 months is silly and the Yankees do have other options. 2020 Projections: 3-1/4.02/1.36/35 in 38 IP

126. Sean Newcomb – Is he in rotation? Or Touki Toussaint? Kyle Wright? Bryse Wilson? Ian Anderson? John Smoltz? I don’t blame the Braves for not trading away all of their future arms for a pitcher or hitter who is likely over-the-hill, but it’s kinda messing up things for fantasy! 2020 Projections: 3-1/3.87/1.36/41 in 43 IP

127. Shun Yamaguchi – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Blue Jays. Last year, the 32-year-old Yamaguchi went 181 IP with a 2.78 ERA, 9.6 K/9, 3.2 BB/9 and is most renown for previous work on developing pets to put in your pocket. “Is that a snake in your pocket?” “Actually…it’s a gekko.” Yamaguchi said through a translator. Since the Blue Jays spent no time developing a rotation, it’s hard to imagine Yamaguchi not seeing at least a full-throated chance for the rotation. Or until Shoemaker is hurt again.” And that’s me quoting me, again! One side note, I’m assuming Yamaguchi is in the rotation for at least part of the season. With Ryu, Shoemaker, Borucki–Well, the Jays might not have anyone throw 160 IP. 2020 Projections: 3-2/4.37/1.33/44 in 47 IP

128. Joe Ross – Been a fan of Ross for a while. He feels like a 8 K/9, 2.5 BB/9 guy with a decent ERA in, well, just under 100 IP, which is the issue. 2020 Projections: 2-1/3.84/1.34/33 in 36 UPDATE: Opted out for the season.

129. Kyle Wright – Looks like the Braves’ 5th spot is going to come down to Wright and Newcomb with the 4th spot going to F-Her. Thought process:  F-Her is useless out of the bullpen (might be useless in the rotation too), so that leaves one spot for Wright and Newcomb while Hamels is rehabbing. My guess is the Braves prefer Newcomb in the bullpen, and Wright slides into a temp position in the rotation. This is essentially the role Fried started the year out with in 2019 and ran with a rotation job all year, so Wright is ranked low, but could be huge value (or useless by May). Right? Wright! 2020 Projections: 2-2/3.47/1.29/30 in 30 IP

130. Rogelio Armenteros – He 110% sounds like a character someone made up for a video game. Does “Rogelio Armentero” wear an Astros hat or is it a hat with no team logo because the manufacturer didn’t get the rights? 2020 Projections: 2-1/4.23/1.36/27 in 28 IP

Domingo German – Strongly considered not ranking him in the top 100, and might still move him. No, I’m not that woke. Just don’t know what we’re going to see from him after he added extra POS eligibility last year and was suspended for 81 games. UPDATE: If the Yankees only play 100 games, and Domingo German needs to serve a 81 game suspension, I’d put his projections around one start. Maybe he throws a two-hitter. Wouldn’t be his first time. 2020 Projections: 7-4/4.27/1.17/77 in 71 IP

131. Tyler Mahle – This Red is hot. You know, T. Mahle. High-five the crap out of me! C’mon! That was good! No? Okay. Mahle’s ERA is muy mal (5.14), but everything else says he should’ve had a sleeper post. Well, except those pesky homers allowed (1.74 HR/9). Now he either has garbage stuff (could be possible, but unlikely) or he was unlucky. His 31.3 FB% isn’t terrible and his 20.8% HR/FB is kinda silly. Yo, you drinking Coors with that T. Mahle? Since his 9 K/9 and 2.4 BB/9 looks a bit like the peak, I’m just cautiously optimistic, and the Reds are lacking an obvious place for him in the rotation. 2020 Projections: 2-3/4.25/1.29/39 in 39 IP

132. Matt Manning – Already gave you my Matt Manning fantasy. It was written while underwater. 2020 Projections: 2-1/3.86/1.27/36 in 33 IP

133. Casey Mize – Already gave you my Casey Mize fantasy. It was written while bobbing just over Manning. 2020 Projections: 1-0/3.44/1.16/25 in 26 IP

134. Michael Kopech – Already gave you my Michael Kopech fantasy. It had too much to drink. 2020 Projections: 1-1/4.29/1.40/27 in 24 IP UPDATE: Opted out

135. Brent Honeywell – He made Prospect Itch’s top 75 prospects for 2020 fantasy baseball. Also, I went over him last year in my Brent Honeywell fantasy. It’s evergreen because Honeywell hasn’t pitched since. UPDATE: Underwent a decompression procedure on his UCL. Incredibly unfortunate, but Honeywell seems to be one of those guys who never makes good on his promise, due to injuries. Guess we’ll see, but I’m already made up my mind for him this year. I’ve removed him from the rankings. 2020 Projections: 2-1/3.68/1.28/34 in 30 IP

135. Edward Cabrera – Heard from an inside source that Cabrera and Sixto would be up around July, and throwing between 50-75 IP. Prospect Itch said, “Edward Cabrera is something of a supersized Sixto with more strikeouts but less command. Huge upside with upper 90s heat. Speaking of heat, Grey makes me want to grab mine.” Geez, that’s harsh. 2020 Projections: 1-2/4.18/1.31/31 in 27 IP

136. Sixto Sanchez – Prospect Itch said of this guy, “Sixto Sanchez gives Miami exactly what Denbo wants:  a fastball with enough pace to live atop the zone and a curve-change-slider, off-speed compliment to get hitters chasing down and out. His strikeout numbers haven’t been elite, but everything else has, and he’s always been young for his level. Unlike Grey who is dumb for his level.” What the hell, my dude?! 2020 Projections: 1-0/4.04/1.28/16 in 15 IP

137. Forrest Whitley – Already gave you my Forrest Whitley fantasy. It was excellent to your family, but you couldn’t make it work.  2020 Projections: 1-0/4.78/1.45/12 in 10 IP

138. Mackenzie Gore – Will we see Gore this year? My guess is not in any major way. Get it? Major way, major leagues. Wait, I don’t get it either. Gore still needs to make Double-A look foolish, then likely Triple-A, so we’re looking at July, at the earliest, and I think that’s optimistic. 2020 Projections: 0-1/4.12/1.35/11 in 13 IP

139. Rich Hill – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until the end of the list. I call this tier, “I need to soak my carpal tunnel fingers after typing all of this crizzap.” This pic below was from December, weeks after it was revealed Hill needed elbow surgery and might not be back until July or later. This pic was from weeks before he signed on with the Twins. This pic made me laugh louder than it had any business. 2020 Projections: 1-1/3.31/1.16/16 in 20 IP

140. Randy Dobnak – He went through four levels last year, ending in the majors with a 1.59 ERA in 28 1/3 IP. Just think, prior to this, I thought Dobnak was just something Mork from Ork said, and, for Dobnak to repeat his 2019, he’d need to be touched by something from another world. 2020 Projections: 2-2/4.71/1.38/41 in 31 IP

141. Matt Shoemaker – If Matt really were a Shoemaker, his shoes would cause injuries. Hey, Matt, call your shoes, No Balance. 2020 Projections: 2-1/4.34/1.29/21 in 23 IP

142. Asher Wojciechowski – If you have a category in your league for Least Number Of Letters Typed Into A Search Field Before It Autofills, Wojciechowski is a top five arm. 2020 Projections: 3-5/4.41/1.34/54 in 57 IP

143. Jimmy Nelson – The Dodgers signed him to fill out their 17-man rotation. Fun times!  2020 Projections: 2-1/4.38/1.44/29 in 27 IP

144. Vince Velasquez – “Wow, Joe Girardi still looks so young.” After ten starts by Velasquez, then ten starts by Pivetta who replaces him, “Why is Joe Girardi dressed like the Grim Reaper?” Looks closer then, “Oh, he’s not dressed.” 2020 Projections: 2-3/4.64/1.37/45 in 49 IP

145. Martin Perez – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Red Sox. Just after the Winter Meetings, the Red Sox GM got in his chauffeured driven bullpen cart that was a large replica of Ted Williams head. When he thought he was out of sightline of everyone, he peeled the skin away from his chin and pulled off a mask, revealing he was really the Pirates mascot, the Pirate! Oh em gee! So, as the Red Sox transition into a small market team, they got the prize Martin, The Small Market Prizez.” And that’s me quoting me! 2020 Projections: 4-4/4.54/1.44/49 in 63 IP

146. Merrill Kelly – Read Michael Lewis’s new book The Undoing Project recently (it’s decent, no Moneyball). It opens talking about Daryl Morey and how he analyzes basketball players coming out of college, and he has a rule that stuck with me. He doesn’t allow anyone on his staff to compare players of a similar race. There’s a long explanation, but essentially it stops you from coming to bad conclusions about players. If you compare Hyun-Jin to another Asian pitcher (guilty as charged!), you might see the other pitcher as being better than he otherwise would be. It’s like, “Hyun-Jin is so good that Kikuchi must be good too.” Mostly, subconsciously, but it’s bias. So, this brings me to my point:  People only liked Kelly last year because they saw how good Mikolas was the year before.  2020 Projections: 2-3/4.27/1.33/36 in 40 IP

147. Yusei Kikuchi – For the last 1.8 million words that I’ve been typing, I’ve been listening to Lisa Loeb’s Stay in anticipation for the end because she keeps singing, Yusei…I only hear what I want to. Crap, now I have to write up my top 100 then top 500. *Lisa Simpson grumble* 2020 Projections: 3-5/4.77/1.39/47 in 62 IP

148. Homer Bailey – I could’ve also listed here Trevor “Not Garrett” Richards, Mike “My Name Sounds Like A Name Bart Simpson Would Give Mo” Leake, Trevor “Never Forget I Called Him A Sleeper The One Year He Was Good” Williams, Kyle “Rockies Pitcher Placeholder #1” Freeland, Dylan “Stop Eating Dolphins In The” Covey, Alex “Mighty Joe” Young, Nick “Breathes In Deeply Until I Feel It In My Ulcer” Pivetta, Alex “Creamed, Not On The” Cobb, Hector “You’ll Wish He Was Vince” Velasquez, Carson “Aw” Fulmer, Jordan “JZ Is WHIPped” Zimmermann, Jaime “Spanish For Neighborhood Is” Barria, Patrick “Not That” Sandoval, Kendall “One Foot In The” Graveman, Kolby M. Allard, Ryan “Banana Fanna Fo” Borucki, Alec “General” Mills, Antonio “Rockies Pitcher Placeholder #2” Senzatela, Elieser “Cummings” Hernandez, Steven “The Bat” Brault, Mike “That You Do Drop” Montgomery, Jeff “Rockies Pitcher Placeholder #3” Hoffman. They’re all rosterable in insanely deep leagues, and I feel bad for you if you have to go there.  2020 Projections:  Bleh/Burp/Belch/Gas in Farts