The album I released called Father’s Day has an intro as its first song, here it is, “This is dedicated to all those dads out there that stood by their responsibilities and raised your seed. Unless you would’ve been a terrible father, then it’s better if you shirked your responsibilities and hightailed it out of there. Something that’s rarely mentioned about absentee fathers, if you would’ve been a crap father, then it’s best if you weren’t around. The best thing some fathers could give their kids is not being there. This is dedicated to all the fathers that left. This is for all the dads that would’ve been so bads. All the pops that drank nonstops. You’re often forgotten, but we appreciate your fatherhood was misbegotten” Any hoo! Yesterday, Julio Teheran went 6 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 3 walks, 11 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.97, as he was activated from the DL. He didn’t go on a rehab assignment. Well, technically, he didn’t but he returned to face the Padres, so same diff. Teheran’s peripherals are a mess like the father who abandoned us who we now appreciate, so Teheran was money on Sunday, but don’t expect child support (this is so hashtag woke). Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Chase Anderson to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
*life flashing before eyes right before death* Wow, that’s a lot times I picked up and dropped Chase Anderson. Is it weird I can understand where Mike Tyson was coming from when he said he wanted to eat Lennox Lewis’ children? Some of these players — Sonny Gray, Jon Gray, Chase Anderson — come to mind that make me want to eat someone’s children. Not really (yes, really). Why couldn’t Chase Anderson do this when he was on my team?! *lines tacks up on desk, slams head down* I’m okay! *blood dripping from forehead like Abdullah the Butcher* I can’t see! *screaming at intern* Getmeahandiwipesoicansee–Okay, I can see again. I’m still seeing blood though. Yesterday, Chase Anderson went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.13. The peripherals are still not there for Anderson — 6.1 K/9, 3.5 BB/9, 5.17 xFIP — so I won’t be going back in on him. That doesn’t mean it won’t make me think about salt and peppering some kids if he pitches well again. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Finally, the Rays took a cue from Fox, and started Jake Bauers‘ clock. Here’s an updated 24: FBI agent, breathlessly, into a phone, “The President is in danger!” Assistant to the FBI director lowers the phone, speaks to the director, less breathlessly, “Have you tried Thai basil chicken?” FBI director, “Basil in Thai dishes always make me think there should be tomato sauce. Ya know, Italians have that basil thing already.” FBI agent into the phone, breathlessly, “Did you hear me, the President’s in danger!” FBI assistant, “Um, yeah, you’ve been on vacay, and we’re no longer taking matters of the President’s safety as seriously as much as we once did.” I keed! Don’t hit me with your political agenda. So, Jake Bauers was called up to presumably play every day. I mean, if the Rays waited this long to bring him up, they’re not doing it for a bench bat. He’s a little bit of everything vs. a lot of one thing, which is less exciting in short-term, but could be something long-term. His Steamer projections are yawnstipating 7/8/.238 (click his name to see projections), but I could see him being a bit closer to 9/16/.265/.345. Not bad, not great. Breathlessly, “He’s okay.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Let’s see, if Tyler O’Neill is Kelly Leak, then Coach Walter Matheny is curmudgeonly happy. “Lean into the pitch, Whomever is the Cards catcher while Molina and Kelly are out!” If in this reboot T. O’Neill is playing Kelly, who’s playing the girl’s role on the Cards? Hmm, only one it could be is Tommy Herr. Come out of retirement! By the by, this movie? Doesn’t hold up at all. Don’t ever watch it again. Remember what you can and move on. Any hoo! Tyler O’Neill (2-for-4, 4 RBIs, hitting .368) hit yet another homer — his third in three games — and he’s capable of hitting 30 homers. Not over the whole year, like if we’re backtracking, I mean from today forward. Not sure if the Cards play him, sometimes Walter Matheny appears drunk, but I would grab O’Neill for power. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Fantasy Master Lothario is back, and he’s live and direct from Palm Springs!!! While Cougs runs back to LA, the GOD Pert talks Freddy Peralta’s debut, how I’ve sold Lance on Franmil Reyes, and the unexpected emergence of Charlie Morton over the last two seasons. We then talk a little C-Mart, a little Robinson Cano, and off course Vladimir Guerrero Jr. comes up. It’s almost like he’s Ralph Lifshitz Jr. just considerably better at baseball. All in all it’s an hour of fantasy baseball fire, prepping you for the week ahead, and reflecting on the week that was. It’s a little bit of everything, the biscuits, and the beans! Finally, please make sure to support our sponsor by heading over to RotoWear.com and entering promo code “SAGNOF” for 20% off the highest quality t-shirts in the fantasy sports game. It’s the latest edition of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Podcast:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Keeping the weekend theme of rookie pitchers not giving up hits, yesterday Domingo German went 6 IP, 0 ER, zero hits, 2 BBs, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.66. Since I wasn’t very familiar with German — “Guten tag, give your bratwurst my best kraut.” — I decided to watch this game. German’s curve was made to look very impressive by an Indians team that still does not look right. It also didn’t hurt that the home plate umpire gave him a very favorable strike zone — “You wear the lederhosen in the Deutschland, Lance Barrett?” Kept feeling like a more patient team or just a few calls go a different way, and German has loaded the bases on walks with no outs, and, suddenly, he’s in a five run hole in two innings. Bundesländer? V to the ielleicht. Maybe Sonntag had his Sunday best on, but I don’t trust him outside of deep leagues. Of course, with that said (Grey’s turning the u-boat!), a flyer doesn’t hurt until the German roofie comes and you wake up in Frankfurt with a burly woman named Gertrude. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m disappointed, I thought Mike Soroka was the first Thai-born pitcher. One thing about Soroka, he really brings the heat. He’ll also answer to Mike The Rooster Sauce. He’s the spiciest prospect since Pirates’ Single-A phenom, Ravi Gospepradam, and the Padres’ Tony Tarasco. If only they had that Jays’ prospect, Tom Yum Khai, to cool their palette. The Braves alone have MLB’s staff highest on the Scoville Scale: Soroka, Luiz Goharabnero, Mike Frankshotsaucewicz, Sean Capsium and Julio Tahiniran. Tahini isn’t hot, unless you’re eating it in Iran! Well, I guess Tahini could be spicy. If you can make mayo spicy, like Spicymayohiro Tanaka. Yesterday, Soroka went 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks in only 80 pitches, to show you how on the plate he was with that 95 MPH heat. In Triple-A, he had a 9.5 K/9, 2 BB/9 and 1.99 ERA with nearly neutral luck. Against the Mets, he touched the corners of the plate the entire night, barely giving anyone something easy to hit. This was in a debut for a 20-year-old. He had more poise than Tootie with a book on her head. It’s gonna be hard to send him down, but I don’t know what’s in store for him. He might get the Walker Buehler treatment with the occasional start, bouncing between the majors and Triple-A. Either way, The Rooster Sauce looks red hot! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
On a chalkboard someone has written, “K/9 Revolutionaries — Donuts in back, the kind of donuts you can eat.” In a semi-circle, Patrick Corbin, Gerrit Cole, and Garrett Richards discuss a knuckle curve. “If you dig your index finger in like you’re Richard Gere trying to get a gerbil out–” When Kyle Gibson walks in, startling them. “What’s up, guys?” The other pitchers frantically hide their K/9 Revolution propaganda; Richards tries to wipe down the chalkboard but the eraser is just streaking the writing, then Michael Pineda appears, wipes pine tar over the chalkboard writing and leaves from where he came. So, they don’t want Kyle Gibson part of the K/9 Revolution, but he looks like he might be down for the cause. Yesterday, he went 6 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, 10 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.33. His 10 K/9 would be an easy career high. This follows a trend we saw with Gibson last year in the 2nd half of the year. He’s not doing it with gas either. He’s dropping well-meaning, nonchalant off-speed pitches. He scaled back his slider usage, but it’s working much better in a lesser-seen capacity, and his curve he’s using more — outside the zone. This has upped his walks, but the number of swings he’s generated outside the zone has leaped like 12 lords. His pitches may lack command, but the K/9 Revolutionaries should put him in charge of at least the northern border to guard against Ontario, eh. And if you think the K/9 Revolutionaries are not real, this year 35% of plate appearances have ended without the ball in play, and, for the first time in the history of baseball, we’ve played nearly a month with more strikeouts than hits (h/t Joe Sheehan). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Charlie Morton aka Ground Chuck was playing “Hamburger Patty Cake” with the Mariners yesterday — 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, 0 walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 0.72, WHIP at 0.88. Ground Chuck said, “I’m A-1, try to ketchup.” Then he took a long pull off his Jamaican meat patty, and continued to speak in food allusions, “I’m topped by Monterey Jack, you’re whack.” Ground Chuck cracked his knuckles, “I make you so gay, you try to find Ground Chuck on Grindr.” Then, after a pause, “Gay, as in happy, but no judgments.” Finally, concluding, “If the Babe had a kid named Chris, then Ruth’s Chris still ain’t got shizz on Morton’s.” Charlie Morton sounds a bit cocky there, but he has every reason to be. In the preseason, I said, “A pitcher that goes through life as an also-ran to turn it around in his 30’s is rare. One other guy comes to mind, his name rhymes with Bitch Chill. Anyhoo, I’m buying into Morton’s transformation. How about a late-in-career transformation we call The Caitlyn Jenner? No? Okay.” And that’s me quoting me! One thing I did not understand at all was why there were so many skeptics on Morton this preseason. It was as if they ignored all of his previous season, and did not watch him in the playoffs. Ground Chuck is Salisbury Steak’ing his claim as a top five starter. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Just wanna put it out there that Al Gore did a better job of inventing the internet than he did at global warming. All these postponements is a real shit
show…snow. The way we’re going there’s going to be back-to-back tripleheaders in August for some teams with the ceremonial first pitch thrown out by Joel Youngblood. Here was me trying to field a full fantasy team the last few days: I’m going to hold onto Matt Davidson through his postponed games, at least I have Freddie Freeman, and now the Braves are rained out, well, I have Miguel Andujar in a doubleheader, and…that’s been canceled, guess I can grab whomever is starting for the Royals vs. Ohtani and that game has been called. Hmm, down to one game on Sunday — Rays vs. Phils. C’mon, Kiermaier–And he’s out after one inning. FMFBBL. Any hoo! Yesterday, Starling Marte went 5-for-5, 4 runs and his 3rd homer, hitting .305. If you’re facing him, urine trouble, if you’re a PEDs tester, that is. By the way, I heard an interesting tidbit on a podcast the other day. If you wipe a baby diaper filled with pee on your face, you will stay forever young. Of course, the advice came from a prisoner serving 25 years to life in San Quentin, so there might be side effects. Coming into this game, Marte was hitting .241, and he raised his average more than sixty points, which shows you how young the season is still. Maybe the season wiped baby urine on itself. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball: