Commissioner Rob Manfred was recently seen at a yard sale looking at the stitching on a crocheted dress when he remarked, “The stitching seems kinda loose.” From there, he picked up his grandkids and they asked if they could watch Lilo & Stitch and Manfred wrinkled his nose and said, “Stitch is a genetic experiment who escaped from an alien planet, which is a loose contrivance. Wouldn’t you like to see something with tight stitches? Like 12 homers in one game?” Later in his evening, Manfred tossed and turned in his bed, asking Womanfred, “I can count with my back all 500 threads in this linen. We need tighter stitching!” So, with Manfred on a quest for the tightest stitching possible, we also have more dongs than the Houston 500. First, Matt Adams went 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs with his 19th homer. Mean’s while, Ryan Zimmerman has a Chia pet growing on his foot. Next, Victor Robles (2-for-5, 2 runs) hit his 16th homer, hitting over .500 in the last week. This was only his third homer since the break, and hitting .260-ish in that time. Would’ve loved to see him get a legit shot at the two hole — hey now! — but he hasn’t truly earned it. Next next, Juan Soto (2-for-5) popped two tops of Sexy Dr. Pepper (27, 28) and he’s 20 years old. In 2020, he’ll be 21 and will be a 70-homer hitter by the time he’s 27. You can hold me to that, assuming you forget. Next next next, Brian Dozier (3-for-4, 4 RBIs) hit his 18th and 19th homers, and he doesn’t even start every game. Just your average 2019 part-time middle infidel who gets 25 homers. Next next next next, Anthony Rendon (1-for-4, 3 RBIs) hit his 27th homer and he’s three RBIs from 100. Feels like RBIs are down this year. Maybe because no one’s on base and everyone’s just hitting home runs. That reason feels galaxy brain-ish. Next next next next next, Adam Eaton (2-for-3, 3 runs, 3 RBIs) hit his 10th. What’s Eaton eating? Tightly-wound baseballs. Just ask Womanfred, she’s sick of hearing it. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Chase Anderson to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
Yesterday, Zack Wheeler went 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.45. Can you please be “2nd Half Wheeler?” Can you be anything but “1st Half Wheeler?” Who do I have to pay for that to happen? Because I made $1.67 from yesterday’s ads and I am willing to give a percentage of that to ensure Wheeler is right for another two months. It’s all I ask and I one day have to say, “Damn, I can’t believe I crashed my 1st yacht into my 2nd yacht. Stupid yacht problems!” Okay, now to go on a rant you never asked for, but I have some legitimate first world problems that need addressing: the Starbucks menu is too complicated. What is all this crap and no Unicorn Frappuchino?! Dubya tee eff! Oh and Netflix has a 15-second rewind but no 15-second fast forward? Are you people stupid?! Also, Amazon Prime two-day shipping begins when the seller ships your item but not when you order? Is this a joke? Seriously? Do I look like a chump to you! Any hoo! Wheeler was phenomenal last 2nd half, and I keep saying I was buying him for his 2nd half. All his peripherals point to him being much better: 9.9 K/9, 2.3 BB/9, 3.64 FIP, velocity up to 97 MPH on average. Drop the R from boring, because that’s BOING! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Magic Genie of Fantasy Baseball says that if I put a baseball card of a player I own in a Dreamcatcher and put the Dreamcatcher under my pillow while I’m sleeping then *gulps* then the Magic Genie of Fantasy Baseball will come in the middle of the night and give my player a Quality Start. So…*bashfully looks down*..I put Chris Paddack‘s baseball card under my pillow and I’VE BEEN A GOOD BOY! Holy Hayzeus Lazarus and Pontius, Inventor of Pilates, I had a good start! Yesterday, Chris Paddack went 7 2/3 IP, 1 hit, 1 walk, 1 ER and 8 Ks, lowering his ERA to 2.70. Please throw 170 more innings this year! “Don’t be greedy,” interrupts Magic Genie of Fantasy Baseball. “Hey, Magic Genie of Fantasy Baseball, you sound like a spot remover.” “Just for that, I’m pushing Marquez back so he starts at Coors next! Muahahaha!” So, Paddack had a great start, which tacks onto his season of more-than-we-could’ve-hoped-for. He currently ranks 25th for xFIP; 23rd for K/9 and 13th for walk rate. And he’s in Petco for his home starts! Happy to be the Mohel at his Star Mitzvah. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Today is the last day of baseball before the three most dreaded words of the summer are uttered: All-Star break. It’s not all bad though, we get a tiny break from setting our season long lineups at least. Still, there will be no moneies to be made for the next few days. So, let’s be sure to enjoy our well-deserved rest, but push for one last score so we can soak it up while we rest.
We have eleven games on the FanDuel Main Slate today, let’s dive right in:
*Editor’s Note: I’m posting this for Nich today due to a scheduling conflict, so even though my name is up top, it’s his work*
New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!Please, blog, may I have some more?
I wanna start off by saying “Namaste” to Yusei Kikuchi. That guy was my headliner last week and he completely blew what was an otherwise great article. Our other five recommendations included guys like Lance Lynn, Michael Pineda, Zach Plesac, Joe Musgrove and Chris Bassitt. All of those pitchers did really well but stupid Kikuchi crapped on my week! Why did I ever trust that guy? Anyway, we’re going to build off of the positives and give you some more great streamers this week!Please, blog, may I have some more?
How the hell is it Week 10 already? That’s nuts. The season is flying by but we’re having a blast with these articles.
I always try to be honest with these streamer pieces and this group of one-start streamers is pretty ugly. That’s why we’re going to go with five two-start streamers and only two one-start streamers for this week. That means it’s going to be imperative to save your weekly moves for Sunday and try to think about the week ahead.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Royals swept the Rays yesterday in a doubleheader, taking down Blake Snell (3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 4.31). Snell can’t handle the Royals, they can Snell what he’s cooking. As Razzball commenter, tigersharkz said, “Yep, Snell’s fine. Recovering from a broken toe in 10 days happens all the time in real life.” From Young MC’s Bust A Move, “Blake is getting shot down because he’s over-Snellous. …so hey, Reigning Cy, don’t bust a toe.” No foolsies, but pitchers need their toes to push off, and anything can get them out of whack. I’m officially concerned. Of course, the Royals were led by Adalberto Mondesi (3-for-7, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (4) and double legs (9, 10) on opposite sides of a doubleheader, hitting .295). Adalberto is my daddy — excuse me, Addadytogrey Mondesi. He’s now on pace for 20/50/.290. Yeah, terrible 2nd round pick. Also, chipping in for the Royals was Kelvin Gutierrez (2-for-7, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer). How big is this guy? Have you seen him? He’s like $54 T-bone vending machine steak. (Gonna keep using this until it catches on.) Is he related to The Big FraGu (throwback)? KelGu, take me away. He looks like he should be able to hit 20 homers and steal 10+ bags, but I don’t know if he’ll have the playing time, so best for deeper leagues for now. Terrance Gore keeps hitting (1-for-4, 1 run, hitting .400). I’d like to see Terrance Gore on the Big floor piano. It would be like Jerry Lee Lewis on coke. …Whole Lotta Stealin’ Going On! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you said you loved Kevin Kline in the role of Cole Tucker, you wouldn’t be wrong. What can’t Kevin Kline do? Yo, Kevin Kline, wanna be my father? “Sir, this is a Cheesecake Factory and that’s James, our short-order cook, not Kevin Kline.” I’m crazy for rookie bats. As crazy as I am for rookie bats, I’m tepid on rookie arms. I don’t dislike them, but roofies are real and dangerous. Rookie bats, however…*places nose right above a stick of butter, inhales deeply* So, the Pirates called up Cole Tucker. He’s the sexiest Pittsburgh shortstop since….uh Jack Wilson wasn’t very sexy…uh…Jordy Mercer God no…Erik Gonzalez bleh…Arky Vaughan! Arky took no crap, quitting for three years at one point because he got sore at Leo Durocher for talking to the press about a teammate. And Arky still made the Hall of Fame! Of course, he had to wait 33 years after his death. Any hoo! Besides Cole Tucker sounding like he wears Vineyard Vines, what do we know about Tucker? He has 30-steal speed. Love that. Where else are we finding that? That alone is reason to grab him in every league. Yes, every league. Next up, he made swing adjustments and is more a 17-homer hitter than the under-5 homer guy he showed before this year. In 18 spring at-bats, he hit two homers. In 57 Triple-A at-bats, he hit three homers. In his first career at-bat with the Pirates, he homered. For power, I’m going to start saying Triple-A is samesies with the majors. We’ll see if my new approach pans out! So, 17/30/.250 while also taking a walk? I told you every league. The Ghost of Arky Vaughan can eat a D! (If the site suddenly goes down for three years, we know why.) Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jose Ramirez fouled a ball off his knee and was carted off the field. *long, painful swallow* Say what now? Thankfully, it turned out Jose Ramirez simply has a knee contusion and was carted off the field because he had reached his steps for the day. *claps hands* “Okay, guys, call me a cab, my FitBit says I’m done-zo.” That’s Jose Ramirez once he reaches 10,000 steps. I hear ya, Jo-Ram! I once sat down on an escalator because I had reached my “floors” for the day. I’m not over-exercising and dying young. Nuh-uh! You don’t mess with age expectancy. I’m already down on Ramirez in a non-sexual way, so this doesn’t change my stance on him, and, if you like him, it doesn’t sound like it should change your feelings either, since he appears healthy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?