Dodgers rookie/phenom/franchise savior Walker Buehler continued to impress Friday night combining with three other relievers to no-hit the sad, sad Padres. Walker went six innings on 93 pitches striking out eight while walking three for his second win in just his third major league start. He is good at throwing baseballs. With three of the Dodgers’ best players hitting the DL recently the defending NL champs need something positive to grasp onto right now, and if Buehler can be their Baby Kershaw than way less fans would have to jump on the Angels’ bandwagon, which is already pretty full considering its carrying over a quarter of the Japanese population. The Dodgers top prospect has been every bit the flamethrower he was advertised to be with his 99 mph fastball which he can locate with pinpoint accuracy and he also features a decent slider and curve. You can read Ralph’s profile on him here if you don’t trust a word I’m saying, but honestly, I’m only trying to help. Maybe his 1.13 ERA and 1.06 WHIP with a 19/7 K/BB in 16.0 IP will convince you? To be fair, his three starts have come against arguably the worst three teams in the league in Miami, San Francisco and San Diego, but to be even more fair, he matches up with unarguably the worst team in the league record-wise in the Cinncinati Reds next week. Yes, you should own him! The upside here, especially for those sweet, juicy strikeouts, is immense, and outweighs any concerns about locating his breaking balls or off-speed stuff, high pitch counts going deep into games, or his rumored rocky relationship with Kershaw. That last concern I made up just now! If he’s still out there in your league, runner don’t Walker to the waiver wire to grab Buehler. This kid’s gonna be a start! Ha-cha-cha!
Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:
Alen Hanson – 2-for-5, run, RBI. BUY. Alen showing us a little of that “MMMbop!” that had him slashing .406/.479/.661 at Triple A. Hanson’s got speed and has already stolen two bases in just six games. Leading off for the Giants while Joe Panik is on the shelf, the “Running Man” could be worth a flier if you need the speed. OK, one Hanson song reference was fine, but knowing the names of two Hanson songs??–that’s kinda weird, dude.
Evan Longoria – 2-for-5, HR (7), 2 RBI. OK, in my defense, I think if you’re serious about Hanson’s music you have to go beyond their debut album “Middle of Nowhere” to see–hey, that sounds like where Longo’s heading if he doesn’t fix that 27/3 K/BB. The seven homers are nice though? Maybe you can sell. Lol no, not to me.
Jose Bautista – 1-for-4. 2 K. Oh toit! Joey Bats on the Braves! Noice! Only in my wildest MLB The Show Franchises have I ever seen anything like this. He doubled but also struck out twice, so he looks to be in mid season form. I might add for the nostalgia alone.
German Marquez – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 8 K, 2nd win. His second straight quality start. Germy is sick sometimes but has the unfortunate consequence of calling Coors Field home, and although you can drink some of the coldest beer imaginable there (rocky mountain cold!), your ERA is going to have a bad time. Marquez holds a 10.64 ERA at home vs. a 1.96 away. Lmk when he’s traded, ty bbe.
Zack Wheeler – 6.0 IP, 10 hits, 8 ER. Oh fantasy beisbol, you are a cruel, cold mistress. I streamed Wheeler on Sunday with positive results (7.0 IP, 0 ER, 9 K, W), but dropped immediately because I know you can only Wheeler Zack so far. Also, I would stream just about anyone versus the Padres right now.
Charlie Blackmon – 2-for-4, HR (11). 2005 Kanye would have said that nobody cares about Blackmon. He’s second only to Bryce Harper in homers in the NL, he’s crushn the ball slashing .292/.395/.632, and he’s not getting the respect he deserves because racism? 2018 Kanye would say that Blackmon’s got enough respect and everything in the world is going just great as long as you don’t follow any of what’s going on in the world, never read a newspaper and just buy $500 Yeezy sneakers and rap about pooper scoops. Forget Charlie Blackmon. Understand we should all just love everybody, especially Kanye. Just love Kanye. Sigh. I miss the old Kanye.
Asdrubal Cabrera – 2-for-5, 2 runs, HR (6), 3 RBI. When Asdrubal is your team’s best hitter, your young phenom Conforto is batting under .200, every pitcher on the entire team is injured and/or might as well be injured, and you just don’t know if you can do this anymore.
Todd Frazier – 2-for-5, HR (5), 3 RBI, SB (3). Don’t worry Mess fans, you still have this Yankee trash. In Queens, the slam & legs comes with a “hey, look Ima walkin’ heere! Va fungool!”
Lewis Brinson – 1-for-3, HR (4). One of the blurbs for Brinson said he has shown flashes of “brilliance” early. That seems a bit overly generous but I’ll allow it. He’s hit safely in 6 of his last 7 games. Would like to see some multi-hit games to raise that average but I’m definitely not seeing that. Apparently what we are seeing though? Flashes of brilliance!
Johnny Field – 3-for-4, HR (2). Johnny Field sounds like a character from a Mark Twain novel, he’s slashing .290/.333/.581 but probably won’t play enough to warrant consideration in your mixed league. I don’t even know why I’m mentioning him. Just forget everything you read here. My bad.
Eugenio Suarez – 1-for-2, 3-run HR (4). Eddy’s hitting over .300 since his return to the line up with two homers in the past three games and 13 RBI in the past week. When people say the Reds have no offense you can look at them and say, Eduardo F’N Suarez. And they will laugh, and you will laugh, and good times will be had by all.
J.A. Happ – 5.2 IP, 4 hits, 3 ER, 4 BB, 3 K. He was a big BUY in this week’s weird BUY/SELL muppet video/powerpoint thing. I missed the post where Grey introduced these videos and I feel like a segue was needed for me and now they’re everywhere and I don’t know what’s going on. Is there a puppet version of me out there? Is it hot? Speaking of hot, Happ cooled off a bit last night with a tough outing against the Rays but can you blame him. I mean it was a Rays bullpen day, so obv Happ was going to lose. Was over before it started, but yeah, I’d still buy Happ! Just ask the overly sexualized puppet version of myself.
Gleyber Torres – 2-for-4, 3-run HR (1). I’m not salty I don’t own Gleyber anywhere or anything. I just think he’s stupid and he sucks because he’s dumb and I hate him and he’s definitely not going to hit for average (slashing .333/.367/.467 over his first two weeks) and mash dingers and score runs and be my all-around rookie fantasy fantasy. Nope. 2/10 would drop. Or trade him to me. Please?
Aaron Judge – 2-for-4, HR (8), 2 RBI. Gary Sanchez also homered. You know who didn’t homer? Giancarlo! Is this because I spoiled Avengers for you!? I was upset and confused about the future of the MCU! I said I was sorry!
Miguel Andujar – 2-for-5, 2 runs, RBI. He bats in a lineup that features Judge, Stanton, Didi, Gleyber and Sanchez so that makes him an immediate consideration. He’s also slashing .290/.301/.520 with three bombs. If you need runs and average you could do worse. If you really do want a worse recommendation let me know in comments and I will find.
C.C. Sabathia – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 7 K. The 1.39 ERA and 23/5 K/BB are real nice but Sabathia still feels like a match ups play. Like his start next week versus Boston? I don’t know if I’d play him in this match up.
Jose Ramirez – 3-for-4, HR (9), 2 RBI. Hitting .452 in the past week with 2 homers, 9 runs, 9 RBI and a steal. Jo-Ram is like a Rewards card whereas initially you don’t really want to sign up, but then you start getting those sweet deals in your emails then you’re all bout it bout it, repping your Rewards card membership to all your friends.
Ian Kennedy – 6.0 IP, 0 ER, BB 7 K. versus Francisco Liriano – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 2 BB, 5 K. This pitcher’s duel was a battle of who’s team’s offense is worse, and naturally, the best either pitcher could hope for here was a no-decision.
Miles Mikolas – 7.0 IP, 7 hits, 0 ER, 4 K, 4th win. I Can See For Miles and Miles and Mileeesssss! The Who? Exactly! I feel like Miles might still be obscure and unknown enough where you can pry him from a clueless owner for way less that he’ll be worth going forward. I’m saying you should buy Mikolas!
Bud Norris – 1.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, SV (7). Barely escaped with the save. Have you tried new Bud orange? It’s as bad as you think it would be. I could barely drink a whole rack of them. As for saves in St. Louie, this Bud’s still for you.
Rick Porcello – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, BB, 8 K, 5th win. Slick Rick is now 5-0 with a 2.14 ERA, 0.82 WHIP, and 46/5 K/BB. Sweet sassy molassy! Porcello worked on his change up this off season, he’s throwing it 15% of the time and as you can see it’s working really well. He also worked on that beard which is also working really well. *swoons*
Mookie Betts – 1-for-4, HR (13). Just one!?! Pfft!
Rafael Devers – 3-for-4, 2 HR (6). J.D. Martinez also homered. It’s funny how the Red Sawx, who couldn’t buy home runs last year, are now only scoring off long balls. It was part of Alex Cora’s managerial orientation, “Squad, if you just hit the beisbols into the stands, scoring and winning games will be way easier.” Whata concept! Next you’re going to tell me he told the pitching staff to strike out more batters. Crazy! Just crazy enough to work!
Nomar Mazara – 2-for-4, HR (7). His fourth straight game with a homer. It took him three years and batting in the worst Rangers line up yet but NOMAH! has arrived. Of course I didn’t draft him this year because of who I am as a person.
Delino DeShields – 2-for-4. Hitting .387 with a homer and two steals in the past week. 2015 Grey told you to BUY. I would have provided a link, but the web page has expired.
Nick Kingham – 5.1 IP, 6 hits, 4 ER, BB, 7 K, 2nd win. Well, we can’t be perfect every game. Kingham didn’t look quite as sharp as he did in his debut but he had a tougher assignment in Milwaukee. He’s still got a 16/1 K/BB over 12.1 innings, and if you know me at all, you know I already grabbed him everywhere I could. He should get the Giants next week, he was a BUY and me and Cardi B like it like that.
Domingo Santana – 2-for-4, HR (1), 2 RBI. Well, look who finally decided to show up. Sorry dude I dropped you two weeks ago.
Eduardo Escobar – 3-for-4, 2 HR (6), 3 RBI. He’s hitting .357 with 3 homers, 7 runs and 6 RBI in the past week. He also leads the league in doubles and has multiple position eligibility. He was a BUY. What more do you want? I am OT II now, do you need me to conduct another extensive auditing session so I can tell you what you’re missing in life? Because it very well might be Eduardo Escobar.
Jose Abreu – 3-for-5, HR (7), 3 RBI. Just hit 28 more and you can still come to my niece’s quinceanera.
Alex Verdugo – 2-for-4. He’s like the the opposite of Puig ie he gets hits but wont homer or steal. Leisay Giup! Still he’s hitting .381 in the past week. That’s not nothing! He’s like a contact hitting Puig without the wacky personality or counting stats!
Joey Lucchesi – 5.0 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER, 3 BB, 5 K. He looked like the Joey Lucchesi of the mozzarella di parma Lucheesi’s of his previous starts but his team’s offense looked more like the stinky Limburger Lucheesi’s. He’s got the Nats next week at home and if the Padres could actually score runs he might be worth the stream.
Gerrit Cole – 9.0 IP, 1 hit, 0 ER, BB, 16 K, 3rd win. He’s got a 77/9 K/BB. Excuse me for a minute while I take a cold shower. Oh hey, Gerrit, sorry I don’t know why I started sweating so profusely all of a sudden. Ever since you left Pitt I feel like we don’t talk anymore? You too cool for me now? Yeah, most probably. The 16 Ks was a career high. I wish I owned you everywhere, including in my temperature controlled glass case where I keep all my precious moments and miniature glass bear statues. Whaddaya say, Gerrit? Come live with me in a glass case where I can preserve you forever away from the rest of the world with a bunch of creepy glass knick knacks? Think about it?
Yuli Gurriel – 4-for-5, run, 3 RBI. You go, Gurriel! Astros has 14 hits with three hits from George Springer and Jose Altuve and Carlos Correa with two hits a piece. If you can’t own any of the ‘Stros studs Gurriel might be the next closest thing. And of course I mean that proximity wise, not statistically, lol you wish.
Garrett Richards – 6.2 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, BB, 8 K, 4th win. Richards can be extremely effective against bad teams and borderline unstartable against good ones. That should make owning him this year about as relaxing as binge watching Ozark.
Adam Jones – 3-for-4, HR (5). Adaaaayum! Jonesy was the other cop in my buddy cop movie production, but I had to take his place when it was clear after the first few takes that he and Mookie had zero chemistry. Fair enough, it’s hard to match that spark me and Mookie share. Adam’s now been recast as the tough, but fair police chief with a heart of gold.
Mark Trumbo – 2-for-3, RBI. Has now hit safely in three of his four games since his return, with multi-hit games in two of those. The home runs will come soon too. Pick him up if you hate yourself.
Matt Adams – 1-for-3, HR (7). BUY. Have you ever picked someone up day-of and then forget to start them? I need to drink more water, I think my brain is shrinking. I should stop mixing my psychedelic drugs, I’m having a hard time distinguishing perception from reality. Is that Benintendi’s face on that baseball? Mmm. No. It couldn’t be…Adams is hitting .368 with 4 homers in the past week. That’s the reality. I’d grab him before I lose grasp of this reality as well.
Carlos Santana – 2-for-4, HR (3), 2 RBI. Carlos went all Rob Thomas on us looking Smoooth with his third dinger. Santana is slashing just .164/.301/.318 but getting on base at a decent clip. The Bhaguan at Rhajneeshpuram told me after an intense therapy session/orgy that good things are coming for Santana. Good things.
Bryce Harper – 2-for-5, 2 HR (12), 3 RBI. I’m having a good fantasy week, you guys. My real-life human girlfriend (who is both, totally real, and a human female) comes home from work earlier this week and I told her, “Mookie hit three home runs! Morton pitched a gem! Acuna doubled and homered, Rodney got the saaaaaave! Yayayaya! It was SO AWESOME!” Then she asked me how my day was and I said, “I just told you.”
Albert Pujols – 2-for-4, run, 2 RBI. 3000 hits! Wowowow! We really did it. As a Alby fanboy for many years I probably owned him for at least 1000 of these hits. Which is why I can’t help but feel partially responsible for this milestone. You’re welcome, Albert. I’ll be expecting my Thank You card and edible arrangement in the mail any day now. Or you could just deliver in person. In which case, please bring Michael and Shohei with you or don’t bother coming at all.
Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!