Live for today. That’s what they tell me. “They” are BASE jumpers, so I’m not listening to them, which is why I’m living in a bubble with the NBA players. “Hey, LeBron, where can I get some bubble tea?” “Ah, man, I hear ya, players be gossiping like crazy.” “What are you talking about? I want boba.” So, the Marlins vs. Orioles and Yankees vs. Phils had to be canceled due to an outbreak within the Marlins’ clubhouse. The Marlins couldn’t play back in Florida vs. the O’s, and might’ve infected the Phils’ visiting clubhouse, so the Yankees weren’t going in there. All in all, a totally well-functioning pandemic. By which I mean, it’s terrible for us, but this virus is doing well for itself. “Manfred, man” hasn’t been uttered so much since “Blinded By The Light” was a hit in the 70’s. Now PPD stands for Pandemic Please Desist. Right now, the MLB is waging an age-old war:  Everyone’s safety vs. Capitalism. Not to impersonate the Garbage Pail Kid, Nihilistic Ned, but capitalism usually wins that. Of course, don’t misunderstand my glibness for not caring (that sounds like a Common lyric); I’m just trying to be real with you. As for fantasy, I moved all Marlins, Orioles, Yankees and Phils out of my lineups until further notice, and tried to bench all Marlins in my weekly leagues. As they say, WHEEEE!!! Again, “they” are BASE jumpers. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Shohei Ohtani – 0-for-4 as he DH’d. It’s encouraging that he’s hitting the day after pitching, but maybe because he didn’t record one out while pitching, and felt like he wanted to contribute an out or four.

Griffin Canning – 4 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks. Haven’t liked Canning since he was dealing with injury concerns in the 1st Spring Training, so I’m not jumping in on him, but he didn’t look as bad as the line indicates. All Canning can do is laugh, as he was beat by Canha.

Chris Bassitt – 4 IP, 0 ER, as he went 66 pitches. Love me some Bassitt, and am hoping he can go more innings next time. C’mon, Bassitt, I need you to sniff at least 85 *itches.

Kyle Tucker – 0-for-3, 2 runs and his 1st steal. Glad to see Tucker play. I was going to suggest him and Garrett Hampson start their own team. They’d have more players than the Marlins.

Alex Bregman – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer. Jose Altuve (2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs) also hit his 1st homer. After the game, a garbage can dressed as a cutout fan snuck out a side door.

Roberto Osuna – 1 IP, 0 ER and the save. Pressly’s saves have left the building.

Evan White – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. He hit a bomb like one of Princess Di’s Corgis, but let’s not forget who made your team popular, White. It was Sweet Lew, who had a two-hit night, because he’s Sweet and he’s Lew.

Gregory Polanco – 0-for-3 as he returned from the IL. It is really all over the place how long guys with Covid are out. Feels like Polanco was out just over a week. Yes, I’m saying this to put this into the universe for Juan Soto.

Colin Moran – 2-for-4 and his 2nd and 3rd homer, and three homers in two games andHot schmotato alert!

Adrian Houser – 5 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 3 walks, 4 Ks. Feels silly to say so early that you don’t need to draft top pitching, just like I always tell you, but there is no early this year, so it’s fine. How ya think my staffs of Houser, Paddack, Bauer, and Lynn are doing? Still think I needed Verlander? Scherzer? Snell? Strasburg? I swear, people forget this nonsense the moment the season ends.

Corey Kluber – Out for four weeks with a Grade 2 strain of his teres major muscle. Won’t say I told you so, but *opens trench coat, written on chest it reads, “I told you so”* You can lose Kluber in most leagues, since he likely won’t be back this year, even if four weeks puts him on target for around September 1st. Replacing him in the rotation is Kolby M. Allard. What the duck!

Michael Fulmer – 2 2/3 IP, 4 ER. Fulmer was supposed to go one inning. Who is the worst manager and why isn’t it Matheny?

Victor Reyes – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, and his 1st homer, and stole a base the game before. I’m between Reyes being a hot schmotato or a cyclops with a monocle. Like a teamster smoking a cigarette, I’m leaning on the latter, but I’m intrigued, y’all!

JaCoby Jones – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Why do I feel like no matter what I say about Tigers hitters you’ll never pick them up? Nod if so, and shake your head if no. Was that a nod or a shake? I ask because I can’t see you.

Maikel Franco – 3-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 1st and 2nd homer. He took Fulmer and Burrows deep, but didn’t touch Funkhouser, so my enthusiasm is curbed.

Whit Merrifield – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer. To Whit, a home run.

Trent Grisham – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer. My love for Grisham is no mystery.

Joey Lucchesi – 3 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 2 Ks. What a garbage start from Joey Lucchesi of the Pasta Fagioli Crime Family.

Luke Weaver – 3 1/3 IP, 6 ER. Hey, Lucchesi, I see your garbage, and raise you a turd.

Tyler Glasnow – 4 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks. He went K-Put, but looked great. Something Podcast Ralph and I discuss on today’s show coming later today is how an under-told story of the early going is Covid isn’t the only thing stopping players. Having little time to get ready for the season is also an issue, and we seeing it with a lot of 4-5 IP starts.

Hunter Renfroe – 3-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 1st and 2nd homer. Renfroe! Or as Scooby Doo would say, “Renfroe!” He would also say hot schmotato, if he was available in your league.

Mike Zunino – 1-for-2, 2 runs and his 1st homer. Who’s Zunino’ing who?!

Jose Martinez – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer. Finally, Jose Martinez found a league with the DH! Oh, wait.

Mike Foltynewicz – 3 1/3 IP, 6 ER, and he was DFA’d. You know your team has some staff depth when you’re DFA’ing someone in a pandemic. I really like Kyle Wright, and, as the Braves’ 5th starter, this gives him a little more breathing room. Might mean Jhoulys Chacin, Josh Tomlin or Touki Toussaint get some looks.

Dansby Swanson – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer. He was a sleeper back in…December? Maybe, I don’t remember, if being honest. But I loved him all draft season. All 10 months of it. He was such great value.

Jon Lester – 5 IP, 0 hits, 1 walk, 1 K. Zero hits and one K is called the Circle K, as in OK.

Anthony Rizzo – 1-for-2, 3 runs and his 3rd homer. HR to the Izzo!

Craig Kimbrel – 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 4 walks. Solid Hold, huh? Kimbrel’s been broke for years. Not sure what happened to him, but he’s been bad for two years. He thought shaving his beard would make a difference. Guess what, Kimbs? It’s The Art of Shaving, not Saving. Jeremy Jeffress bailed him out for the save yesterday, and I’m sure David Ross will try Kimbrel again, but I can’t guarantee the outcome will be better.

Nate PearsonJays plan on starting Pearson on Wednesday in Washington. As John Wayne once said to a mechanical horse in front of grocery store, giddy up! I’ve already given you a Nate Pearson sleeper from during the shutdown, and have mentioned him in two straight Buy columns, and what you waiting for?

Ken Giles – Hit the IL with elbow soreness. Sounds like he might be done for the year, but we (I) don’t know yet, so you can hold for final word. His replacement is Anthony Bass. “The talking fish on my office wall?” That’s you being confused.

Danny Jansen – 2-for-4 and his 1st homer. Goodbye (insert catcher name I own), and hello, Danny Jansen!

Teoscar Hernandez – 2-for-5 and his 1st and 2nd homer. If I told you anymore how much I liked Teoscar I’d win an Oscar for Liking Teoscar.

Rowdy Tellez – 1-for-3 and his 1st homer. Is it me or do you see his last name and start singing Billy Joel, “Tellez, about it, Tellez everything you feel?” Okay, maybe it’s me.

Reynaldo Lopez – Hit the IL with a shoulder strain. In a far off galaxy, Rey-Lo is fan art of Rey and Kylo Ren. In this galaxy, he’s droppable.

Michael Wacha – 5 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks. Streamonator hated this start, and his next one, and I agree with SON, even if this start was good. Ain’t got the pants nuggets to be starting Wacha.

Pete Alonso – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. Albombso!

Michael Conforto – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. Excellent, but, wow, the Red Sox pitching is some sad sauce.

Mitch Moreland – 2-for-4 and his 2nd homer. Mitch don’t kill my vibe!

Xander Bogaerts – 1-for-4 and his 1st homer. Ony half as many homers as Moreland. Welp, it’s still early. Tricked ya! There is no early this year! Get your head out of your tuhkis! Sounds like Jackie Mason is guest-blogging.

Josh Osich – 2 IP, 2 ER. Nice starter, Red Sox! Following him in the game was Jeffrey Springs. Who? Beats me. In the box score, it said Osich Springs and it sounds like a resort in Arkansas. “People get to second base with their cousin at Osich Springs!” Unfortunately for the Red Sox, the Mets got a lot farther.

 
  1. russowl says:
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    Austin Riley ,Willie Calhoun or Teoscar?

    Need 3 out of Di Di, Teoscar, Austin Riley ,Kevin Newman, Ian Happ

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Calhoun, Didi, Newman, Happ for me

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Calhoun

      Teoscar, Riley, Didi

  2. Better Call Limehouse says:
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    WAS just really likes feet dragging when their best hitters are out. last year and the year before that with rendon rather than just DL’ing him they’d wait 0-12 days numerous times. now we got reportedly soto doing not only numerous non MLB approved negative tests and his first MLB approved negative test back on friday. he’d have to do a 2nd one in anytime over 24 hours, so some mix of:
    1. for some reason it takes more than 24 hours to get another test (or say 3 times that length, as it’s been)
    2. he’s pulling the positive/negative (numerous of these supposedly)/positive deal.
    3. WAS is bad at paperwork or scheduling stuff

    10 team redraft h2h where we draft 3 real life hitting and pitching teams in march, and from that date nobody moves for our purposes, except first signings (so if puig signs he’s property of that hitting team rest of the year). we can make our own trades. this year we’re roto from the shortened season (max 625 innings). usually if h2h there are 8 moves per week and you stream your own rosters, with roto and games/innings limits no moves maxes, and never waivers anyway as nobody else can obtain your own players. OPS/hits/total bases added, OBP over AVG, QS, K/9.
    i got: hitting: MIN, SD, KC
    pitching: NYM, SD, PIT
    so optimally it looks like this:
    C (2): garver, salvy
    1B (2): hosmer (or myers), sano
    2B (2): whit, arraez
    SS (2): mondesi, tatis
    3B (2): machado, son of donald
    LF (1): pham
    CF (1): kepler (RF)
    RF (1): rosario (LF)
    OF (3): soler (RF), grisham (all OF), myers (1B/LF/CF)
    util (1): cruz
    SP (best of NYM/PIT/SD but i stream them all): musgrove, keller, matz, degrom, richards, paddack, lamet

    so i got j.polanco who can’t ever play. trying to trade him for SP or 1B upgrades. i can get one of darvish/l.castillo/s.gray/bauer for j.polanco + one of matz/keller/musgrove.

    1. do this, and if so which of mine for which of his, he seems amenable to any on both sides. if mondesi or tatis got hurt i’d have to go with one of marwin (when he plays), nicky lopez, franco (and h.dozier when he’s back at 3B would work fine).

    2. for a completely separate league, 12 team dynasty, j.polanco or hungry man dinners (swanson). OPS.

    • Cram It says:
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      Sometimes, I just skip to the end with these. So for 2. Swanson.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Agree with Cram

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      1. You can get Castillo for Polanco/Matz? Then take it

      2. Swanson

      • Better Call Limehouse says:
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        1. not 100% sure but that owner, after i said i’d take one of darvish/CIN guys for j.polanco + one of my pitchers worse than that group, he came back with one of keller/matz. in case he changes to NOT castillo any others of that group doable here (i’m thinking probably yes)

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Gotcha

  3. Leon says:
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    16 man dynasty. Got offered $5 houser for $11 ryu. Thoughts.
    Thanks.

    • Cram It says:
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      I’d take Houser.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Agree with Cram

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Agree with others

  4. galica says:
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    Grey!!!!

    What a report!

    a. Dropped Pressly for Bass. We’ll see how that goes. I didn’t get yesterday’s save so he’ll most likely Frank the Tank it for me. Thanks for suggesting him! Was thinking about Jeffress, then I thought about Jeffry from the fresh prince of belair and then I passed out. Jeffress could be the man in CHC though, right?

    b. I guess I spoke too much smack talk about Cespedes (DNP yesterday) and Cron (0/4) on how they were going to pummel the opposing LHP. I blame Hittertron. But now I’ll stop smack talking online and keep it too myself.

    c. MLB quote of the day for July 28, 2020.

    ‘White stood upon the left of the fence at one end so that his hand could not possibly pass beyond the straight line, and pitched the ball so that it passed to the right of the middle post. This it did by three or four inches, but curved so much that it passed the third post a half foot to the left.’ [The makings of the first curve ball.]

    William Henry ‘Whoop-La’ White. Seriously white as the name and surname suggest, he still holds some MLB records.

    1. complete games pitched in a season, (75CG in 1879)
    2. games started in a season, (75GS in 1879)
    3. innings pitched in a season, (680 IP in 1879)
    4. batters faced in a season, (2960 BF in 1879)

    Also he had three 40-win seasons and one 40-loss season! For the 1882 and 1883 seasons he went 83-34 with a 1.84 ERA.

    His 162-game average…

    19-14, 2.28 ERA, 34 GS, 33 CG (97%), 299 IP, 291 H, 156 R, 76 ER, 42 BB, 88 K, 121 ERA+, 2.98 FIP.

    Per the quote, he was the master of the curve ball and probably what people who came after him used.

    It was a different era. In 1884, he had 52 CG pitched yet he ONLY ranked 5th in the league! His 1879 season was his best with a 9.1 WAR ranking, wasn’t a great pitcher but he was the first to wear glasses on the field for his entire career.

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks!

      A. Hold Bass

      B. Damn

      C. Was a good era to punt SPs in fantasy

      • galica says:
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        Grey!!!

        a. Will hold Bass, but if you’ve ever held one you’ll know they are very slippery!

        b. The year White lost 40+ games, he started and completed 52 (!!!) but his team only batted 0.224, that’s right team batting average for the year for that team his team was 0.224! League average was about 0.255 or something he suffered from lack of run support. So, maybe it was a good era to punt fantasy baseball altogether.

        c. Got to do something to shore my pitching. I’ll just wait for better opportunities for my pitchers but things are not looking too rosy for the next 7-10 days. Most pitchers are in that ‘tread lightly’ or ‘absolutely do not start’ category, like some pitchers this week are going to Coors – not gonna happen on my team. I already dropped Robbie Ray – he was 99.4% owned in my league!! He made waivers, no one wants him. His next start is not a good one according to SON and in SON I trust.

        d. I’m going to start Pearson and Howard. Pray for me!

        Cheers,
        Ante

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          A. Yup

          B. Haha, so crazy!

          C. I hear ya

          D. I am too!

  5. Lubes says:
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    10 team h2h redraft. Franmil and Luzardo both just dropped by a team getting a little to streamer-happy. $100 FAAB- what’s my bid for these guys? Honestly most years there are so few guys on waivers I almost never have to bid, but hey, happy pandemic.

    For my drops- either d hudson or holland for luzardo. Likely joc for franmil. (Other options would be Lewis, Lowe, da Santana)

    Thoughts? Thanks
    Thoughts?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Streamer-happy is probably the play in 10 team redraft this year.

      You know your league best…maybe $10 for Franmil, $5 for Luzardo?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Luzardo is a MR or won’t throw 5, so not sure how much he does…I’d prolly go to like $35 for Franmil

  6. Ellis says:
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    Red Sox playing for last place, maybe worst rotation ever, could be a great strategy in a 60 game season but really painful, next up their stopper: Matt Hall, who are these guys!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha, I know!

  7. Taylor Sims says:
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    Molina, Suzuki, Narvaez, R.Perez, Jansen, Maldonado, Zunino, J. McCann?

    > pick 1

    or should I stream them based on schedule?

    • Cram It says:
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      Whoever is hitting.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Narvaez for me but also agree with Cram

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Stream

  8. LOLmets says:
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    I bet the A’s yesterday so I watched the whole game. Shocking how bad Ohtani looked in his at bats. There’s bad at bats and then there’s the swing Ohtani was making. He looks like the kid from rookie of the year- he honestly swung after the ball was already in the catchers glove. Maybe he had his talent stolen by the Monsters in Space Jam? Unsure but somethings not right.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha, I can’t watch bc I’m blacked out, but he might be super rusty hitting after trying so hard to pitch this year

  9. Hepcat13 says:
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    Yahoo 5×5 12 team H2H

    I know how you feel about catchers, but this is such an odd season…drop C. Kelley for Jansen? Or drop Berti and try to trade Kelley for RP? Or hold Kelley for wait and see?

    I LOVE the smell of mustache wax in the morning!
    Thanks!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Jansen over Kelly is fine. Wouldn’t bother trying to trade him there…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Me too!

      Agree with DT

  10. Matty says:
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    Leave it up to Florida to blow up the whole thing for everyone. Since it’s the Marlins ruining it we can disregard how bad of a plan this was to begin with.
    That being said, will there be a real baseball performance difference between the Marlins and their Taxi Squad?
    Hopefully this means we’ll get to see some interesting prospects a few days before service time would usually allow- that would be a bit of satisfying comeuppance for the teams who (presumably) did a lousy job with virus management.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      We might get to see some Marlins prospects, they have a lot of interesting ones

      • Don't be a Hader says:
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        If the Marlins didn’t play another game…would anyone notice?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I said the other day, let Marlins and O’s duel for 60 games

  11. Scott says:
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    awesome to have these back…

    who to drop in a OBP dynasty league? david peralta, shin shoo choo, or colin moran?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      I’d lose Moran

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks!

      You have to lose one? Why? I guess Moran but he’s so hot

  12. Tom says:
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    Need to pick up a SP. The following are available:

    Tyler Chatwood, Kyle Wright, Spencer Howard, Brady Singer, Griffin Canning

    Thoughts? Suggestions? Thanks!

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Canning for me

    • Coolwhip

      Coolwhip says:
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      Chatwood(looked great and next start vs Bucs), Howard, Canning in that order for me

    • Malicious Phenoms says:
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      Canning or Kyle Wright for me

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Agree with ‘whip

  13. Johnny Be Good says:
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    Grey!

    Drop Who to add Swanson ?
    – Voit
    – G Richards
    – Britton
    – Ohtani

    • NUX says:
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      Over Voit if he is a bench bat. Otherwise, prob over Garrett Richards. I love Richards this year but it sounds like he is your 6th starter or something. You can prob grab him later or something similar if you need to turn back to pitching.

      • Johnny Be Good says:
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        Yea, Voit or Swanson would be used in my 2nd utility spot.

        My pitching is suspect. Other than Bauer & Darvish, I Have Ohtani, Kluber, Gallen, Urias…so not sure I can drop Richards…

        • Johnny Be Good says:
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          And Already dropped Kluber for Bass…

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Agree with Nux

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Agree with Nux

  14. NUX says:
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    I been streaming batty calls based off the HT recommendations since Friday.

    My hits over the last few days include dingers from Rowdy Tellez, Moreland, Pillar. And then Souza had that RBI double yesterday too. Don’t know how he does it, that bot is amazing. Consider this my yearly testimonial. Them tools work wonders!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Nice!

  15. Jingle Dahl the Way says:
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    12 team, 5×5 roto

    You starting C-Mart @ MIN tonight?

    • Coolwhip

      Coolwhip says:
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      I am *crosses fingers* he has track record of being an ace so i’m going to start him until he shows me he’s not. After all, Kuechel held them back.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Nope

    • Cram It says:
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      Agree with DT. Like is he even going to pitch 4 innings?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Agree with ‘whip

  16. sportivetricks says:
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    Hey to the Hey!!!

    So, I am so hungry for baseball, and so excited about Carlos Martinez in the rotation that I am tempted to roll him out today @MIN. But SoN HATES it (-$34.9), and I could have told you this was not a good matchup without help from the robot. Thoughts.

    Also. Lurrrves.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Resist the temptation

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’m starting him

      Lurves!

      • sportivetricks says:
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        Wow. My two best sources of advice on the matter split.

        At least we can all agree to be handsome!!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          HA, yes

          • sportivetricks says:
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            Welp. That was fun.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Wha’ happened?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Oh, the C-Mart start — welp, yeah

  17. Will says:
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    Weaver and Dk Hudson crapped the bed this week (although not as bad as Kimbrel). Hold onto Weaver and DH or move on?

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      Move on unless its a really deep league

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Lose Hudson

  18. Scott Kimmel says:
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    Grey,

    I have two questions.

    1)I am interested in picking up Jackie Bradley, Jr. i know you said that I should not pick him, buyt he is off to a flying start while Profar is hitting .091 after 4 games. would you drop Profar for him?

    2) would you drop Kimbrel for Joakim Soria?

    thanks as always

    • Scott Kimmel says:
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      also 3) would you drop Michael Fulmer for Zach Godley?

    • Scott Kimmel says:
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      Also Anthony Bass is available.

    • Donkey Teeth

      Donkey Teeth says:
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      1) meh, sure
      2) nah
      3) Bass

      • Scott Kimmel says:
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        im not sure if Kimbrel has lost something because he looked horrible last night. his fastball was 96-97 mph but had no location.
        1) is it time to cut Kimbrel and pick up either Jeffress or Soria or Bass?
        2) would you drop Michael Fulmer for Zach Godley?
        3) you gave me two different answers about dropping Profar for JBJ? First you said Meh, then you said sure. which one LOL?