Hehe, I’m such a jerk.  I finally dedicate a lede to Jason Vargas and it’s to point out how bad he was last night — 2 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA up to 3.06.  Well, look at it this way.  If he wasn’t good for so long, him being bad wouldn’t matter.  For unstints, my friend texted me yesterday, “R. Kelly’s being accused of holding girls against their will in his cult.”  I texted back, “That’s one cult where you really don’t want to drink the Kool-Aid.”  It was the least surprising news yesterday.  2nd least surprising is the Vargas regression.  What happens with regression, stays in Vargas.  He’s not done regressing either, if his peripherals hold.  He has a 6.8 K/9, 2.4 BB/9 and 4.87 xFIP, i.e.,  A lost Vargas is not just a Wynn, but one of those sure-cuts, sure-cuts.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jorge Soler – Demoted to Triple-A Omaha, where he will undoubtedly be a background extra in Alexander Payne’s next film.

Nick Castellanos – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer, and 2nd homer in three days.  He could be in for one of the biggest 2nd halfs of anyone.  I.e., launch angle meets exit velocity and lots of fantasy owners’ onomatopoeias of exhilaration.

Jordan Zimmermann – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Did you start him?  No, of course you didn’t, because his ERA is 5.58!

Carlos Correa – Left yesterday’s game with a jammed thumb.  With Correa, I’d expect a jammed button as they perform a missile test on themselves.  “Hey, look, we got missiles that can reach 35 feet off our coast.  Who wants some?!”  Yeah, aight, go to sleep.

Lance McCullers – 4 2/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA up to 3.28.  Too substandard starts in a row, which, of course, means he has a shoulder injury.  I wish I were joking.

Jake Marisnick – 2-for-4 and his 11th homer.  Asterisknick started over Marwin just as Mike Maher dedicated 8,000,000 words to his undying love for Marwin in his top 100 hitters.  Also, the MM Boy joins Halp and I on today’s podcast coming later today.  You can hardly wait!  No, you!

Carlos Beltran – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer, hitting .232.  Aw, doode got old.  Don’t worry, we’ll still see one Beltran knee-buckle in the playoffs this year.

Mitch Haniger – Out yesterday with a jammed finger.  What a Smucker!

Mike Zunino – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 13th homer.  You know whose steelo he’s stealing?  (Stealo?)  Answer:  Gattis.

Nelson Cruz – 1-for-4 and his 20th homer.  Bet he’s going to hit 35 homers this year and, at no point, will it seem like he’s hot.

Danny Valencia – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games.  I said yesterday, he could be starting a schmotato run, and today I’m confirming.  We have confirmation!

Kyle Seager – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 13th homer.  Two days in a row now I’m pointing out what a huge 2nd half Seager could have in store.  The non-Jerk Store, to be exact.

Marcus Stroman – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.10.  Stroman was included in my top 100 for the 2nd half of 2017 fantasy baseball.  That ranking post is still relevant (mostly).  Stupid Cueto!

Eduardo Rodriguez – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.66.  Halp and I talk about Ed-Rod on today’s podcast.  The gist:  I like Ed-Rod and now he’s going to look terrible to make me look dopey.  Never fails!

Brad Brach – 1 IP, 0 ER and his 16th save.  Sully could’ve landed on the runway if he had as much lead time the Orioles are giving Britton.  Guys, he’s a major league pitcher, I think Britton can reclaim the closer job now, right?  At this rate, Britton can impregnate his wife, have her give birth and, 25 years later, he can be the closer before Zach.

Johan Camargo – 0-for-4, hitting .322.  In related Camargo news, what the eff is a Camargo?!  Kidding, I know.  It’s a speech impediment Camaro.  In fantasy related Camargo news, Dansby could be optioned down to the minors.  I told everyone to avoid the price Dansby was going for in the preseason, so y’all were warned.

Julio Teheran – 6 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners (4 BBs), 5 Ks, ERA at 4.69.  The recent starts have been better, but I’d still use Stream-o-Nator for him.

Anthony Rizzo – 2-for-4 and his 23rd homer.  HR to the Rizzo!

Jon Lester – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.07, and his first steal.  Lester obviously envisioned himself on the mound when he stole the bag.  Oh, and, yeah, suddenly the Cubs are good again.  The ol’ All-Star break switch flip!

Austin Hedges – Sat out with birds circling his head from a foul tip he took off the mask on Friday.  Not to sound insensitive like Jann Arden, but you’re in Coors, man, you can’t suck it up?  C’mon!

Hector Sanchez – 1-for-4 and his 6th homer, and 3rd homer in as many games.  Those are supposed to be my Hedges homers!  Aw, geez!

Jabari Blash – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer, and his 2nd homer in three games.  Schmotato, perhaps, but he’s in Coors, so there’s that.  That being everyone should be owned in Coors.

David Dahl – Bud Black isn’t sure if Dahl will play in the majors in 2017.  Damn, that’s a PUA-level neg for Black, since Dahl is hitting .353 during his minor league assignment.

Gerardo Parra – 2-for-4 and his 8th homer, and his 2nd homer in as many games.  If you take nothing else from this post today, grab Parra everywhere.  Forget about playing time, yadda, blabba, blooie, just grab him.

Stephen Vogt – Will have a knee MRI after leaving yesterday’s game following a home plate collision.  Immediately after MLB heard about the collision they called Buster Posey to make sure he was okay.

Orlando Arcia – 2-for-4, 1 RBI and his 6th, 7th, and 8th steal, hitting .281.  Whoa.  It was like he remembered exactly what kind of player he’s always been in the span of nine innings.  Please let Cervelli get traded to every team Arcia faces the rest of the year.

Gregory Polanco – 4for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, hitting .272.  Speaking of remembering the player you’re supposed to be.  As the great Army Archerd once said, be all you can be.  Hmm, I might have the wrong Army.

Giancarlo Stanton – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 27th and 28th homers, hitting .275.  I’m pretty sure I said at some point, anyone wanna bet that Giancarlo finishes the year with more homers than Judge?  I know the hype machine is revved up real loosey and/or goosey for Judge, but don’t mess with my boo bae, Giancarlo.

Matt Harvey – Resumed throwing.  For most pitchers, this would be a positive, but, with how he’s looked over the past two years, Harvey throwing is not a positive for anyone except opposing hitters.

Michael Conforto – 1-for-4 and his 16th homer, hitting .278.  He’s been cold as dog balls for a while now, but hopefully this breaks him out of his slump.  I own Conforto in Con-far-too many leagues.

Zack Wheeler – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 11 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.98.  Comatose Mets Fan just woke from an 18-month coma.  Lenny Dykstra whistles to the nurses, since he was being paid $12/hour to sit by his bedside, but the nurses naturally think he’s just whistling at them again.  Once the Comatose Mets Fan gets his bearings, he asks the most important question for him, “Harvey, Thor, Wheeler, Matz…how my boys doing?!”

Lucas Duda – 2-for-4 and his 16th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games.  Hot schmotato alert!

Tommy Pham – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 12th homer, hitting .311.  Fantasy is littered with guys that break out for one season only to fade into oblivion the following year.  I think that might be Pham.  A flim-Pham artist, so to speak.  That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t own him.

Paul DeJong – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 10th homer, hitting .299.  Extrapolating DeJong’s numbers out to a full season and he’d be on a 40-homer pace.  If I’m using the word extrapolating correctly.  Though, extrapolating sounds like the kind of physique a gymnast needs.

Brett Cecil – 1 IP, 0 ER and his 1st save.  Cecil appears to be Matheny’s own personal fetch, and he really wants to make Cecil work as his closer, so grab him on the quickfast.  CORRECTION:  As many have pointed out, Rosenthal had pitched three straight games, so at worst this is a committee with Cecil and Rosenthal; at best it’s Rosenthal’s job.

Jake Odorizzi – 7 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.37.  But he’s never good in away games!  Well, it was the A’s.  The team that puts the A’s in malaise.

Steven Souza – 1-for-4 and his 19th homer, and his 2nd homer in the last three games.  Souza’s having a sneakily good season, no matter how many times I say that.  Shizz continues to sneak.

Evan Longoria – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 14th homer.  I’d put a small wager on Longoria getting to his usual 27 homers, which means he’s going to hit more homers in the 2nd half than he did in the 1st.

Khris Davis – 1-for-4 and his 26th homer, and 2nd homer in three games.  Kinda love to see Davis get a season in Coors.  Think he could challenge 55 homers.  Seriously.

Michael Pineda – Will undergo Tommy John surgery on his torn UCL.  “Um, guys, what about me?”  That’s Tanaka as he points at his dangling torn tendon.

Garrett Cooper – 3-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI.  You might remember Garrett Cooper from High Noon where he played opposite Jean Segura.  “Keep your hands above Jean’s waist!”  That’s John Ford having none of Garrett Cooper’s funny business.  So, Garrett Cooper is the Yankees’ 1st baseman now?  Oh.  (Michael) Kay.  Cooper showed a bit of power in the PCL, which is like hitting on the moon with an aluminum bat, though, so is the major leagues.  Might catch lightning in a bottle with Cooper, but I’d leave him to AL-Only leagues until we see more.

Stephen Strasburg – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.31, moving his record to 10-3, which is the CB code for “Understood” for people who don’t understand it’s 10-4.  Copy that is also understood, unless you accidentally have the CB button pushed and are standing at a photocopier.  Double nickels is code for 55 MPH, and 789 is for “numbericide.”  Just a bit of a trivia buff, that’s all.

Ryan Zimmerman – 3-for-5 and his 20th homer, hitting .327.  Looks like we may never get that DL stint that we all wagered on about a month ago.  Yup, he’s going to stay healthy all year.  For all six months of the season.  All 162 games– Is it obvious I’m trying to jinx him?

Brian Goodwin – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 8th homer, hitting .245.  He was 1-for-13 going into the game, so Goodwin ain’t a good one.  High five me now!  C’mon!  That was good!  No?  Okay.

Bryce Harper – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 23rd homer, hitting .329.  Just another day at the ball park.  If you add an E to ‘at,’ you have Joey Chestnut’s favorite sentence.

Scott Feldman – 1 IP, 5 ER and headed to the DL with a sore knee.  He hurt his knee after the Reds told him to “go kick rocks.”

 
  1. Ante GALIC says:
    (link)

    Grey!!!

    Great write-up.

    a. Got to go to Don Ameche. Hopefully I’ll make it back, that’s the most important. Will let you know.

    b. John Rambo Quote of the day for July 18

    Colonel Trautman: ‘- I want the rescue team ready to go.’

    Murdock: ‘You’re risking your career, reputation, your family’s security… – You think any one man’s worth all that?’

    Colonel Trautman: ‘- Yes, I do.

    Murdock: ‘- I’m giving you an order to withdraw.’

    Colonel Trautman: ‘- Do I get the team or go over your head?’

    Murdock: ‘You don’t seem to understand something. I’m in charge here. You’re just a tool. We’re the machine. I want him placed under arrest. He’s not to leave the base.

    Colonel Trautman: ‘- He never had a chance, did he?

    Murdock: ‘- Like you said, Colonel, he went home.’

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Steve Kooker says:
      (link)

      @Ante GALIC:

      Is this a fantasy baseball board? I am not understanding the Rambo thing every day here.

      • henncoop says:
        (link)

        @Steve Kooker: Easy enough to skip over if you don’t like it. I think plenty of other guys read it. The dog days of summer & fantasy baseball just makes for some unhappy campers as their championship dreams wither in the summer heat.

      • Ante Galic says:
        (link)

        @Steve Kooker: Hey, man!

        This site is WAAAAY more than just a fantasy baseball board. It’s also…

        a. PSY101Y
        b. SOC101Y
        c. MAT101Y
        d. PHY101Y

        I think you get it.

        Cheers,
        Ante

      • Ante GALIC says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Grey!

        Thanks, man.

        a. Got to 20 miles from Don Ameche and had to abandon the mission and turn back to base. It totally sucked. Only good news….I made it back.

        b. Rambo II is almost over, at the most into next week.

        Cheers,
        Ante

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          A. Good that you made it back! B. Major spoilers ahead!

  2. Stumanji! says:
    (link)

    10 team H2H OPS league: Lose Broxton or Semien for Parra? Caveat: I’m playing them both at Util right now but might need Semien at SS if Correa misses time.

    • JeF WiTh 1 F says:
      (link)

      @Stumanji!: In a vacuum Broxton…Makes sense to take Semien though with Correa possibly out.

    • JeF WiTh 1 F says:
      (link)

      @Stumanji!: Read this wrong…Can lose Broxton if you need the SS, otherwise id keep Broxton over Semien

      • TheConsigliere says:
        (link)

        @JeF WiTh 1 F:

        Would you still keep Broxton if it’s a weekly locked points league?

        • JeF WiTh 1 F says:
          (link)

          @TheConsigliere: Hes definitely droppable in a 10 teamer if you have better options

      • Stumanji! says:
        (link)

        @JeF WiTh 1 F: Aaaaaaaand Correa is done. FMFBBL!

  3. VinWins

    VinWins says:
    (link)

    Extrapolating! Nice. Though I know you are probably just teasing the grammar police.

    • VinWins

      VinWins says:
      (link)

      @VinWins: (I was going to say “teasing us grammar police,” but I didn’t know if that was good grammar.)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @VinWins: Ewe, the grammar police?

      • Grey

        Grey says:
        (link)

        Or is that oui?

  4. Utah Green Sox says:
    (link)

    Need to make room on roster:
    Drop Bundy or Jordon Montgomery (or even both, haha!?)

  5. enrique says:
    (link)

    No question today, Grey. Will you please just castigate me for starting McCullers despite his low score on the Stream-o-nator?

    Thanks.

    • goodfold2 says:
      (link)

      @enrique: cullers cullers cullers is a start nearly everywhere till they actually say he’s injured (or maybe after 2 more like the last 2).

      • Guy says:
        (link)

        @goodfold2: is it time to sell mccullers for anything you can get?

        • mthom42 says:
          (link)

          @Guy: I’m worried yo. Just shipped him off for Beltre. Needed a 3B in a bad way.

    • Hugman says:
      (link)

      @enrique: Wasn’t he at $11? If you can’t trust a top ten pitcher at $11 dollars you’re doing it wrong. No castigating needed. I started three pitchers with negative values the day before (C Mart, Faria, and Cahill) to great results. You gotta trust your guys, aces especially, unless in Coors. McCullers has not felt safe lately tho. Feels like three bad starts in a row, but I haven’t looked it up.

      • enrique says:
        (link)

        @Hugman: I thought he was around $2 or $3, but maybe my memory is playing tricks on me. If there’s a pitcher I like at around $10 or more I usually don’t question it. In this case, I remember thinking I’d go against the SoN because it was a home game.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @enrique: Meh, I started him too, what can do

      • enrique says:
        (link)

        @Grey: His next two starts are setting up to be @BAL and @DET as well — not too hospitable, though Detroit could be without a couple of its stars by the time that start rolls around.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          That sucks

  6. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    good lord, added cecil in 3 spots yesterday just watched this save, really wanted to see the dude who had 25 or so out of last 26 appearances be a dominant dude, with low in the zone offspeed shit that either resulted in bad groundout contact or K’s. he threw about 5 balls high and outside to right handers that would never be swung at, 2 meat balls to assdribble at about 92 high over heart of plate (1 single from that, conforto would’ve HR’d those 2 pitches), conforto (1st batter) on 2nd pitch hit a line drive hard right at right fielder (lucky out). then his ONLY good pitch of all three batters was low in the zone and got a double play out of cespedes. i have no idea if molina was actually calling those 7 or 8 garbage pitches but it looked bad as F.

    cecil went most likely from rosie pitching 3 days in a row. don’t get me wrong i have cecil in more leagues than rosie now (4-1, both in one) due to rosie being stashed in every league for a while (even saves only) so i wouldn’t mind if cecil stuck at all.

    • goodfold2 says:
      (link)

      @goodfold2: “yesterday” should now read nearly 46 hours ago.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @goodfold2: Agreed, Matheny really seems to want to make this Cecil thing happen

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: maybe, but yesterday could be a function of rosie being 3 days in a row tired. if cecil looks like he looked last night he won’t have this job long. that being said cecil’s been awesome like 25/27 of the time in the last 27.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, true

  7. AdamH says:
    (link)

    Didi vs Arcia

    Pham vs Clint Frazier

    • JeF WiTh 1 F says:
      (link)

      @AdamH: Arcia/Pham

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @AdamH: Agree with F

  8. Tony C says:
    (link)

    Thanks Grey for your great work. You are one of a kind.
    In a 12 H2H, 10×10 OPS and BA league which of the following 3 OFs do you want for ROS:
    Desmond, Trumbo, Thames, Polanco, Joc and Souza.
    Also if you are speculating for saves for ROS please pick 2: Madson, Doolittle, Kahnle, Archie, Vizcaino or someone else?
    Thanks!

    • JeF WiTh 1 F says:
      (link)

      @Tony C: 1. I’d go with Desmond/ Polanco 2. Madson, Kahnle, Vizcaino

      • Tony C says:
        (link)

        Yonder Alonso can also be included above especially if he gets traded to NYY. Thanks

        • Tony C says:
          (link)

          Scratch that. Alonso was just picked up.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Tony C: Thanks! Madson, Kahnle — Desmond, Trumbo, Polanco

  9. David Niven says:
    (link)

    Murphy/Pomeranz or Greinke/Dolittle? In a bubble in a vacuum?

    Cheers ese!

      • David Niven says:
        (link)

        @Grey:

        That would leave me with a rotation of hill, nelson, tallion, a Nola, gray, watcha, pomerantz, e rod, Cobb.

        That ain’t enough is it?

        Need pretty much everything but holds brah.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Prolly not

          • David Niven says:
            (link)

            @Grey: Your a tribute to your gender kemosabe. Have a great day and thanks man.